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hycniejsy

The Mad Pharmacist's Journal

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Quick edit: just came back from karaoke party, it was awesome! I met some people, especially the best was DJ, and my friends said "thanks for inviting us!"

@Primmulla

Thanks for support. It wasn't an exam to be frank, but "Kolokwium". I used word exam instead, because I couldn't find good translation for "Kolokwium". It wasn't that bad, I'm going to resit it in next 2 weeks so next time I'll run over it. I also can take care of translation (as we discussed, I'm picking article, you Hobby Ideas, and then we will share with Respawn), because this is also contribution into that community by expanding it to people from our country and revision of precious knowledge about quitting. By the way I think I've been most time of my life smarter than other people (they called me "geek" and "nerd" since I've finished gymnasium), but because of games I didn't have enough time to study, and I'm also lacking of concentration sometimes. So I feel like a talented student.

 

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07.01.2016

Today was a big day. I faced the reality. Finally.

As I planned, I learned for next "Kolokwium" (it's an exam, but less important than final exam), and I did well on it!

I'm also getting more aware about the whole world, becuase I've watched some documentary movies today.

Let's be honest here, pharmacist is getting mad! Yay!

Edited by hycniejsy
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10.01.2016

Just came home from weekend journey! I feel so happy and reassured. I'm motivated to learning, I've even spend most of the time in train with biology.

Now it's time for mad pharmacist to take action!

@Cam Adair

Thanks for support. Btw. how are you able to answer to almost every entry/post on this forum?

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11.01.2016

Feelin' a little bit awkward today.

I did so many chores today. Shopping, cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing. Read some Challenge, studied some documentary movies, sent some emails, phoned friends. Anything, but studying for tomorrow's exam. Even though, I feel exhausted.

I still have sections to study, and I'll deal with that, despite my exhaustion and lazyness.

Screw it all, I'll do my best right now!

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Colloquium perhaps? " An academic seminar usually led by a different lecturer and on a different topic at each meeting or similarly to a tutorial led by students as is the case in Norway."

 

I just got my room cleaned up too! Not all the way done but I threw out two whole trashbags worth of clothes! Feels great! Now onto more throwing out and organizing. >:]

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Thanks for support. Btw. how are you able to answer to almost every entry/post on this forum?

It's getting harder and harder each week it seems, but it's something important for me. I just spent two days off the forum so I'm catching up now, but in total it just takes about 2 hours so it's not too bad and it's worth it. :)

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12.01.2016

I'm facing my biggest obstacles. My biggest disadvantages. My weaknesses. All of it is because I want to have peaceful life. Not even better live, but just peaceful. That's all I want.

I'm getting in the vicious cycle: all I'm doing is sleeping, studying, houseworks and some time for rest (watching documentary movies, some TV series, reading books etc.) I feel terribly exhausted.

But I'm still game free. 12. day in a row.

I feel like I'm unable to follow all the exams, colloquiums, especially ones that are overdue because I was gaming. I feel like a crap because I want to learn everything about subjects I'm studying and even if I do that, it doesn't help me in most cases. Most college mates are studying just banks of questions (a list of questions that had already been in test for several years in a row) and I'm fuckin' wondering: "What the fuck? What's the sense of it? Shouldn't I expand my knowledge instead of studying banks?"

Although I did 1st day of challenge, watched documentaries for about 4 hours and studied for another 4. Still, I feel like I'm not prepared for exams.

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13.01.2016

Well, I feel really calm today. Although it was a tough day and I did a lot of hard work I still had some time to take a long nap, eat healthy and for education.

I did well on one of the colloquium! Way to go!

And also I feel much better than yesterday. I'm getting tired but I know at the weekend there will be one day when I'll completely rest and just regenerate my energy.

I see that pharmacy is something I'm getting passionate about.

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14.01.2016

I had some cravings in the morning, but I overcame them.

I decided to face challenges that life is giving me.

I passed all 3 exams today. I am more relieved right now.

However, I'm exhasted. Tomorrow I'll rest a bit.

Probably.

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17.01.2016

Tough. Today's tough. Cravings all the time. And urges for masturbation.

But I'm getting tough to. I'm gonna resist, thrive, become better version of myself each, so fuck all that urges!

This weekend I spent in my home town.

Still studying systematically, I've only given myself Saturday time off.

I've also invited friends for board games event (initiator again!). Happy to see them and meet some new!

Also I'm starting thinking on my own bussiness project (chemistry tutoring). I'll focus on it more after finishing all exams this semester.

I don't have much time to do GQ Challenge, however.

Edited by hycniejsy
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18.01.2016

Today I did many positive activities

I met old friends in a train. One of them have troubles with chemistry so I tutored him during the travel.

Then in my flat. Shopping (this time before it's closed!), tidying up room, kitchen.

I feel much better with clean flat (my mind is more clear), some storaged food (I don't need to go for a shopping for next couple of days or even WEEK), and also if I have something to wear (I mean clothes are washed and ironed). So I still have some clothes to iron.

Some podcasts, studying (tomorrow on biology I gonna kick some asses! I know almost everything about menstruation hahaha !)

I also went for training to work out a little.

@Cam Adair

Well, Since 2016 started I'm initiator for group of friends, different each time, every week. It's really great to do it (leadership is cool skill!)

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19.01.2016

I had finally to rest. Decided to do that instead of instant studying after coming back home. I feel better right now, more eager to learn new stuff.

I passed bio for sure. Still, I'm preparing for tomorrow calculus.

I don't even have time to think about cravings or so. That's finally what I wanted in my life.

That's how I thrive! Yea!

Edited by hycniejsy
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20.01.2016

Another great lesson today.

I failed second term calculus exam. What a great lesson I experienced thanks to that!

I know that I have to study more systematically, because sure, I'm smart and talented, but it doesn't mean that I'll learn calculus, derivative, matrix etc in 3 hours! I need more time to deal with that and in more disciplined way!

This is the habit I'm still working on.

Why? Because the day before I've been browsing Internet till 2 am mindlessly

Completely mindlessly.

I mean, when I watched 10 minutes long YT video, after 1 minute I just swapped it into another video and so on.

That was reactive state, instead of active.

Lot of work to do, but I'm on the way to go.

Also, I enjoyed today's labs and I did it perfectly! Initiated hanging out with friends and listened some podcasts aswell!

That's how I'm getting back to normal life!

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21.01.2016

This day required more energy from me than the day before. I feel satisfied, though.

I'm getting prepared for next exams, and when I'm reading about chemistry, I see it's just riveting for me.

I'll give my best tomorrow, and kick some ass!

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25.01.2016

This weekend was great!

Finally cleaned my flat 100%! Hooray!

Studied for many hours, so productive!

Initiator again! I see people are happy when I invite them to hang out anywhere.

Though, I have dreams. I can finally remember some of them however most of them are about breaking my firm commitment. I'm playing video game in my dream (damn, it's so realistic!), and when I wake up I feel like I broke the commitment.

Fortunately, not all of them are those nighmares. Some of them are about travelling, some about my girlfriend and some about completely abstract things.

Even though, I feel much less stressed now, because I've found healthy ways to cope with them (planning, no procrastination, cleaned up flat, less pressure for scores etc.) That's reassuring for me.

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Though, I have dreams. I can finally remember some of them however most of them are about breaking my firm commitment. I'm playing video game in my dream (damn, it's so realistic!), and when I wake up I feel like I broke the commitment.

Fortunately, not all of them are those nighmares. Some of them are about travelling, some about my girlfriend and some about completely abstract things.

You should not worry about your gaming dreams, neither should you feel guilty for having them, since we cannot control our dreams. I also have gaming dreams, though in them I am a character of a game based on the one I played, but modified so that there are places and characters which do not really come up in the real game. I use them to discourage myself from playing, since I know the real game will never be as good as these dreams, and if I succumb and play, I will be disappointed. It is not surprising to have dreams about gaming if you spent a significant part of your life playing games, I often have dreams about my primary school which I graduated from a long time ago ;) just about me strolling through the school corridors, other students who learned there with me etc. as well as about my university, so I guess everything we devote a lot of time to is bound to appear in our dreams.

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25.01.2016

This weekend was great!

Finally cleaned my flat 100%! Hooray!

Studied for many hours, so productive!

Initiator again! I see people are happy when I invite them to hang out anywhere.

Way to go man! :D

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26.01.2016

Today I'm getting more consistency into what I'm doing in my life.

4 hours of studying biophysics just to pass exam, and this is just beginning.

2 hours of podcasts.

And I'm cooking for myself, getting better scores and even started some tutoring!

And as I can see from today, gaming is NOTHING to my life today. COMPLETELY NOTHING.

8 days to final exam, and I'll have about 3 weeks semestral break.

8 days of consistent work and I'll have a reward.

It's a kind of game. I just have major quest right now which I'm focused on and after finishing I'll have a prize. It's challenging so the prize will be great too.

All right, I don't wanna get more into it. Still on detox, so I'll be more careful with using "quests" and "games".

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It's a kind of game. I just have major quest right now which I'm focused on and after finishing I'll have a prize. It's challenging so the prize will be great too.

Life is the ultimate game. ;)

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27.01.2016

Studied A LOT, we'll see if I pass today's exam.

Tomorrow is next, I still need to prepare.

Tired right now. I need some rest, I know it'll come at weekend.

However, I'm happy. I went today for event connected with pharmacy, met some new people and won a chocolate! : )

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28.01.2016

Played on my music instrument for half an hour. haven't been doing that for last 2 weeks. Really moving experience.

Exam passed. The next is tomorrow. This gonna end in next Wednesday.

28 days of being free from games and masturbation! I'm really proud of it, but I know this is just the beginning of the journey.

Still tired. And still a lot of things to do.

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