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hycniejsy

The Mad Pharmacist's Journal

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27.12.2015

All right, so I'm going to be a pharmacist one day. I'm now freshman in college at pharmacy course and after 3 months of studying I feel like this is something I'd really love to do as my job. Especially becoming a scientist and inventing new medicines or anything that'll improve people's life.

I've titled this journal "The Mad Pharmacist", because during university course I have a ton of exams to pass and I want to see one day a progress in my life in facing them, because now I'm barely passing them.

I have Christmas holiday and I want to prepare for exam session and rest a little bit. I've been resting for a week including many different activities e.g. hiking, learning Spanish, reading, sleeping more. Now I've charged my batteries, so it's time to take action and learn something more about science.

I'm game free since 23rd December 2015, so if I survive today, this is going to be 4 days of being free!

Edited by hycniejsy
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Congrats on 4 days! You will survive. Not only that, but I truly believe you can also thrive!

One of my friends, Matt Chow, quit gaming and became a pharmacist. His story is pretty cool. One of his motivations was that he kept failing the "social" part of his pharmacy exam, so he found me and we worked together on his social skills. Now he's looking to start his own consulting business. Anyways, you can listen to his interview here if you want. (His interview is part of the bonuses for Respawn, but it's linked there for you to listen to.)

Hope you had a great day! What city in Poland are you in?

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29.12.2015

At 27 December I relapsed. It took 3 days (today I also played for about 2 hours), but I'm getting back on track right now.

I'm happy because know I feel more resistant and aware about reasons why I've been relapsing. I tried to start study calculus (I really love math, but I have some overdue tests), but I failed. All I wanted 2 days ago was just escape from reality. So I played for couple of hours, and I still need to study. It didn't just... "wear off"

I need to clean up my room completely, because right now dozens of books, clothes and everything else is just laying all around me, even on the floor. That's gonna be a challenge for tomorrow.

I have also made some kind of bar chart that ilustrates how much time I'm learning each day. It's kind of gamification I've been really passionate about. I'm not sure if gamification if allowed during detox from games, and even when I asked some people, nobody could give me clear answer.

 

@Cam Adair

Being social is really important in pharmacist's job and I think for almost every job it is just required to be at least communicative person. There is subject on my course called "pharmaceutical care", where we learn how to care about our patients in drug store. Social skills are just necessary.

Edited by hycniejsy
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Hey hycniejsy, I feel like I'm dealing with the same escape from reality issues that you mentioned. Growing up I was bullied a ton and my home life was really bad for about 6 years or so. Games, the Internet, and watching sports were my saving grace; I didn't have to feel worthless when I was doing any of those things. As I've gotten (slightly) older, I notice that I still like to escape and run from my problems rather than deal with them. To me this is HUGELY important that I learn to face my problems more than run from them. 

Life sucks and is difficult, by nature. People need to work hard and manage their own wants, dreams, and pursuits against those of others--and deal with the ensuing conflicts--just in order to survive. I'm trying to learn to "embrace the suck" more, because I know that when I feel tension, difficulty, and resistance, I should turn towards that stress and deal with it because dealing with it is a part of living. I don't know about you, but I'm sick of hiding and I want to live so much more. I've missed out on so much because of hiding. 

I'm still pretty bad at dealing with my escapism, though I'm doing better. I wish the best to you in dealing with yours! :) 

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Interesting point about gamification you raise here. I had the idea to buy a paper calendar and to use it as a proper calendear but also to put on if I exercisded or not. I even though about writing down minutes spent on my exercise bike and how much km's I did. I don't know if this is gamification or just a progress tracker, but I don't need the latest. Exercising an hour a day is good no matter what! My body can feel it. Now for the calendar, maybe it is gamification.

But if it helps in you studying more and really be effective while doing it, why not?

 

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30.12.2015

24 hours without games, I feel some cravings to go and play. However, I know this will ruin everything I'm working on.

I did clean my room completely. It took me 4,5 hours, but now everything is clean and in order. I feel like it cleaned my mind.

I still didn't learn anything today. Tomorrow's challenge is to face calculus!

@DaBest

Thanks for your comment! You see just like me, that life is too short to escape from reality for hours.

@Django

Well, I made an excel file with column for each subject I learn for each day. I only need to put amount of minutes I've been learning today, and then excel creates a chart which illustrates my progress. I tried that many times before, but what I was doing after quit is just creating and creating this system like a form of escape. I've made it so complex before that it measured my level, statistics, abilities depending on time I spent on almost every activity. I tried to replace my life for perfect video game. Now I've just made a progress tracking and only for learning, which for me works.

Edited by hycniejsy
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@DaBest

Thanks for your comment! You see just like me, that life is too short to escape from reality for hours.

No problem! Life is way too short to waste! :)  

I did clean my room completely. It took me 4,5 hours, but now everything is clean and in order. I feel like it cleaned my mind.

My room used to look just like yours. Then when I started to tackle my stress issues I realized my rooms messiness was stressing me out. Once I realized how much less stressed I was for it, my room has never looked the same :D 

Another thing that has helped me keep my room clean is by just not hoarding a bunch of stuff (not saying that you do). Having more stuff just means I have to find more places to put things and it just stresses me out, so I am very intentional now with the purchases I make. If that's an issue for you, definitely check out The Minimalists. They talk about stuff like that a lot, and while I'm not nearly as gung-ho about getting rid of my possessions as they are, I adapted that concept of making intentional purchases from them. 

Edited by DaBest
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Thanks for all of your comments.

31.12.2015

After 2 hours of studying at home I relapsed. So I didn't face a challenge.

It took me 4 hours to realize what I'm doing and stop. From now I'm quitting forever. Cold turkey. And FOREVER.

I'm fighting against myself about 8 years to quit it. That's enough for me of wasting time. I wanna be someone else than just a gamer. Many games make my mind fascinated because of my analyst nature, especially ones with many level ups in many different skills. Now it's the end of this sick fascination.

I want to become pharmacist, so I need to finish college. I need to focus on it because this is something I really WANT in my life. Also I want to be social person instead of isolating for 4 hours. And I want to focus on skills and hobbys that are really interesting and useful for me.

I see right now that I have troubles with concentration and studying especially remembering biological cycles/schemes and in reminding myself what I did each day or even couple of hours before. I'll plan every day right now to just stick to my firm commitment.

 

Edited by hycniejsy

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Great job on realising your slip up so quickly. If you haven't distanced yourself from your games, I suggest you sell your console(s) if you use those or to make your steam account inaccessibly if you use steam. You can do this here: https://www.reddit.com/r/StopGaming/comments/2t384s/how_to_get_rid_of_your_steam_account_in_60_mins/ This makes the barrier of entry higher for you so that it is harder to play games just when you feel like it.

Keep at it future pharmacist!

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01.01.2016

Welcome to the New Year! This gonna be year of changes in my life.

I came from a party couple of hours ago and before I turn my laptop on, I scheduled tasks I need to do. It helps me A LOT to avoid distractions and mindless browsing.

I'm in good mood because I spent the last hours of 2015 with my friends and I hadn't seem them for last couple of weeks. I didn't drink alcohol, like always.

I still fill the power of this firm commitment I made yesterday. I really want to succed in it and I know I'll do it if I'll stick to this commitment to myself.

@Cam Adair

Thanks for support!

@AlexTheGrape

I didn't have any consoles or steam account. The only things I've been playing for last years were flash games in browser, and seldom something I was able to download. That's because I have really weak laptop that can't open any good quality game without crashing. I throw away every CD/DVD of games I had, and delete every game on my laptop. However, if you have any more tips to create better barrier of entry, I'm all ears.

And I DO keep it up! Thanks for support!

Edited by hycniejsy

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before I turn my laptop on, I scheduled tasks I need to do. It helps me A LOT to avoid distractions and mindless browsing.

This is the difference between productive days and unproductive days for me. 100%.

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02.01.2015

almost 5 hours of focused studying in library&coffee shops. No distractions. I'm so proud of myself! Limits are done! Tomorrow I'll learn derivative and then calculus! I'll pass my exam for sure right now!

Tomorrow I'm coming back to town I'm studying. I'm going to tidy up my flat completely to make a fresh start. I'm gonna control my life and follow this path. I know I'm going in right direction.

I also have started translating some content into Polish, so maybe one day more people from my country will come to our community!

Edited by hycniejsy
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Tomasz, that's a great approach to life and to your studies right now! That's the way to go. Congrats! Makes me smile but also motivates me to change too!

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03.01.2016

Today I have improductive day. I came to my flat, which is complete mess right now, and was unable to do anything. Just got stuck after doing some things like reading some "Respawn" with instant implementation and listening to podcasts. I don't feel bad for that, because I've overcame cravings I had to play, but I know I could use this time better than just watching youtube for 3 hours.

Also, I know why it happened. Not only because of complete mess in my room, but also because I didn't plan anything the day before. Today was a lesson for me.

The saddest thing that happened today was that I should go to mall and do some shopping, because I was almost out of food. I checked on the website the hours when mall is open, and it said that it's open until 9p.m., so I though: "Screw that, I'll go after 8p.m." And I did it, but the mall was open only until 8p.m., so I went about 30 minutes in -15 Celsius degrees outside. And I had to eat pierogi for supper.

Tomorrow I'm going shopping, then some tidying up, and then study. I just can't fail it right now, otherwise I'll fail this exam. It took me too much for preparation, and I'm really into maths, so I'll do it straightforward.

 

Edited by hycniejsy
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04.01.2016

I'm happy today.

After waking up late I felt like I slept enough. Shopping, then tidying up kitchen (my room is still a mess, which I see that influences me a lot. I still have some time to clean it). I'm also on chapter 4 of Respawn, including implementation.

I did some mindless browsing today, including watching let's plays for a while (about 30 minutes), but still I didn't play. I know that let's play videos on YT are activity I need to get rid of. I'm grateful for that experienced, it helped me a lot in understanding lack of filling the voids. And I also know how to fill my time right now.

I didn't study at home today, but I came to consultations at my university, I know the tasks from math exam (at least, from what section they'll be), so know I'm more confident about tomorrow.

 

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05.01.2016

I've counted points I can possibly get on math exam and even if I have everything correct, I'll still miss 1 point to pass. However, this was a lesson for me that made huge impact on me. Why? Because although I didn't learn for 2 days I've planned to, I woke up early today to study anything before exam. I didn't give up so easily, but I have an experience right now. That's just how life works.

I'm pretty happy today, because I didn't procrastinate or mindlessly browse Internet. My room is still a mess, but I've done a lot of things today.

I have scheduled task for tomorrow (it's especially important, because tomorrow is free day in Poland because of the Holiday of Three Kings). I planned time for tidying up my room (finally! That's gonna be challenge), studying for next exams, and go outside for karaoke.

Interesting for me is the fact that even though I'm alone at my flat most of the time, I don't feel tempted to play or browse anything on the Internet. I feel like I appreciate the time I have on this planet.

@Cam Adair

Thanks for support!

I've just finished 5th chapter of Respawn with implementation. However I have some topics to discuss on it, but I don't have access for Respawn members area.

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I've counted points I can possibly get on math exam and even if I have everything correct, I'll still miss 1 point to pass. However, this was a lesson for me that made huge impact on me. Why? Because although I didn't learn for 2 days I've planned to, I woke up early today to study anything before exam. I didn't give up so easily, but I have an experience right now. That's just how life works.

I like your attitude, hycniejsy. As long as we learn from our mistakes, it's worthwhile. 

Also, I don't know how your class is structured, but if it's still early in the semester, you can still pull it around. My sophomore year in college, I bombed my first exam with a 40 something out of 100 in one of my classes because I got cocky and didn't study. I got a failing grade sent home on a progress report. I was devastated. However, because of that, I got a 99/100 and a 100/100 on the next two exams because I studied hard and did not want to fail the course. I ended up with C+ (not sure what that'd be in Poland, but an "average" grade). The next semester, I had a second, more advanced, course that directly followed up on that course and I got an A (top marks) in it. 

I'll be rooting for you, bro! :) 

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06.01.2016

3 breaking news:

1)My room is in order right now! Took a lot of time, but I feel kind of cleanse of my mind

2)Respawn finished! I've also started challenge (I'm on 10 page so far), after implementing the whole respawn I can say that it really helps thrive!

3)I'm the leader again! I've invited couple of friends for karaoke party today's evening! It's also motivating for me!

I still have long way to go. Despite the fact that I didn't study today, I'm just proud of myself.

@Cam Adair

Thanks for adding! I'll write something more about Respawn when I'll have some more time.

@DaBest

And I like your support too! Thanks for that.

By the way in Poland is different scale of grades than in your country. From elementary to high school you have scale 1-6. 1 is the worst, 6 is the best (sometimes it's possible to only get 5, because 6 means you have 100% from every exam)

During college, the scale is from 2 to 5. You need to get at least 3 (50% most times) to pass.

Edited by hycniejsy
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2) Respawn finished! I've also started challenge (I'm on 10 page so far), after implementing the whole respawn I can say that it really helps thrive!

Awesome to hear that. :)

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By the way in Poland is different scale of grades than in your country. From elementary to high school you have scale 1-6. 1 is the worst, 6 is the best (sometimes it's possible to only get 5, because 6 means you have 100% from every exam)

During college, the scale is from 2 to 5. You need to get at least 3 (50% most times) to pass.

Hello, I keep my fingers crossed for you, good luck with your exams :) I wish I could help you somehow but what you study is so distant from my own talents which are mostly for languages and literature that I do not see how it would be possible. So, you've failed one of the exams in the winter session, is that right? When can you retake it? Now studying should be the most important thing for you, if you started working on the translation, you can leave it to me, and I wish you all the best during the exams, and I believe you will pass the re-take exam if you study a lot, if you only missed one point as you said in your post. This proves that you are not really a bad student, rather you had some bad luck, or were very stressed during the exam. I am sure you will pass with flying colours during the re-take exam :) Good luck.

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