Third Time's a Charm

[Valerie]

Hi there. =)

 

As the title says, I've previously tried giving up on games twice so far. Needless to say, they've both failed. I relapsed rather quickly due to my lack of motivation, enthusiasm and willpower. I still don't think I have any of them, but I think my circumstances require my cooperation (and sacrifice) more than ever.

I'll be applying to Oxford next September, and I need to get it together in the meantime. I am a good student, but I do need to go the extra mile -- and most significantly -- I need to regain my autonomy over my weekends, and more generally, over my life. I need to read more, study more etc etc. But generally speaking, I need to restructure the way my brain registers 'spare time' or 'killing time'. I want gaming to disappear out of the picture altogether, and integrate reading as THE thing to do when bored, anxious etc etc. I suppose those would require different books for different purposes. So like, when thinking of Oxford, read some classics. When unwinding, read some good ol' fantasy or whatever. When trying to become a better person, self-help.

So. This time, because I am at least a bit more serious (for the time being), I've decided to properly register to GameQuitters, and I also intend to start a journal and psychoanalyse myself to death. Or to total abstinence from gaming.

My biggest fear, or the biggest contender for ruining this whole game-quitting for me, is probably my deeply ingrained awkwardness of being outside. Going out, meeting people, going to parties, going to 'meet-ups' or whatever. I know that I always feel very territorial of my time, and whenever I have to go out and meet someone, I feel like they're taking away my time. The only time I don't feel like that is when I'm on dates I suppose ;) ;).  Especially when they pay ;) ;) jk.

I have yet to meet someone in real life with whom I resonate significantly (friends). And trust me, I've tried! Reading club, writing group, LGBT groups... and boy, were they all disappointing. I need someone (or someones) for whom getting out of the house is worth it, or with whom going out is fun or relaxing, pleasant and satisfying. In the meantime, I suppose I'll do some lonely trips to the library and attempt getting some work done there, or go to the cinema and the theatre alone or whatever. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable I suppose is the saying.

A little bit about me, though. My name's Valerie and I'm a 17 years old transgirl in England. I'm originally Romanian, but I've moved here a couple years ago to pursue a better future. I'm seemingly able to reach it, but this bum needs to make a bit of a more significant push. I write poetry & short stories, and I read mostly classics as of now in order to get a good foundation for Oxford. Go get that Oxford degree, Valerie! Also, don't sing Amy Winehouse to me. Thanks.

So yeah, if I had to summarise what I want to get out of GameQuitters in a sentence, it'd be this: Find fun in other things which complement or consolidate to some capacity my ability to get into Oxford and become a more organised, mindful, CLEVER person.

 

Thank you for reading all of this. I'm looking forward to meeting you guys!

[Valerie]

56 minutes ago, Dannigan said:

Welcome Valerie! 

Good to have you here.  This community is a great support as well as Cam's videos and podcasts.  Journal writing is a profound way to focus on self-improvement and new goals.  

Regards

Dani

Podcasts? I didn't know Cam also has some podcasts? I'd definitely like to have a look!

[Cam Adair]

Welcome Valerie! Wonderful to have you here with us.

Podcasts

You may also like Quiet by Susan Cain. Her TEDx talk is here:

 

[dwalk77]

Welcome @Valerie!

[Phoenix Huber]

Hi Valerie! It was a delight to read your introduction. From everything you wrote, you sound so bright. I'm sure this quest to end gaming will help you fully harness the powers of your brilliant mind, helping you excel at Oxford and contribute great things to the world. :)

I'm a transgirl too (well, woman, I might say, being 25). I still need to make my own introduction, but I joined today feeling hopeful to learn from the experiences of other LGBT gamers in particular (although everyone will have a lot to teach me, of course). Happy you're here, and wishing you the greatest success with everything!