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JustTom

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Hoi! 

This will not be a daily journal, but rather whenever I have time and/or energy - journal. I have expanded the standard 90-day-detox a little bit with ideas that I think are very necessary for me. The strategy is as follows:

  • No games
  • No mindless videos
    • Mindless videos are any vids that I would just watch without any productive purpose. So tutorials on anything I do is fine as long as I first thought of learning that skill and then searched the video, as opposed to stumbling upon something by chance and then justifying it as 'educational'. 
    • "Relapsing" at videos can only reset my counter if they are gaming-related.
  • Weekly habit building
    • Every week, I establish a new habit from a list. These habits are small parts of bigger rituals, that individually quite easy to implement. 
    • If I succeed at that habit for 7 days without much trouble, I pick up another one. If not, I either take 1 more week or break it down into even smaller and easier habits.
    • Of course I can try to do more than just that one thing if I feel like it, but that's where the focus is.
  • At the end of the detox, I can decide to go back to gaming and youtube if I choose to

I decided to quit youtube videos as well because it became a problem for me. Whenever I would try to limit playing games, I would just watch more vids. Doesn't have to be gaming, I can binge watch personal development for hours on end and not do any work the whole day. I see no difference with games in this regard. It's all just escapism, the fear of real life struggle that is to come, the fear of not being comfortable, the fear of engaging other people and being vulnerable. All of this can be escaped with games or drugs or videos or TV or any other addiction, it's all the same.

I'm not going to go too specific into activities right now because of anonimity paranoia. But for a relaxing activity that should replace gaming and videos when I am genuinely tired after a day of hustling, I will be reading a book or messing around with music in my DAW. Although it has been an active hobby in the past that I always felt anxious about starting it because of infrequency, I will take it more casually this time. I will not treat it as 'music production' and really as just fooling around, clicking on some sounds to relax rather than try to actually make music. Obviously music production and composition is something that requires endless hours to master so since I only open it here and there, I am bound to suck, but that's okay because it's just for fun.

The list of mini-habits:

  • (DONE) 8 hours of sleep
  • Not browsing the internet after I wake up(instead read or just do nothing for a while)
  • Not browsing the internet before bed
  • Read before bed
  • Evening ritual
  • Drinking water after the first alarm ring
  • Reading mission statement(evening/morning or both)
  • Waking up on the first alarm ring
  • Morning ritual
  • Visualizing/meditation
  • (DONE) Keeping a dream journal(for lucid dreaming) 
  • Reality checks

This list will probably change and/or expand as well. I do not mention any exercise because that is kind of a thing that comes to me naturally when I am being productive and conscious in general.

Current detox streak: 2 days.
Current weekly habit: Sleep for 8 hours every day.

Edited by JustTom
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Hello @JustTom

Your current habit of sleeping for 8 hours is a good one!

I struggle with it a lot! It will make a lot of things a lot easier!

I have been on gamequitters a little longer today is  my day one even if I got to 2 weeks like 1 year ago..

I am happy that we are all sitting in the same boat!

I can recommend you picking up The willpower instinct by McGonigal.

 

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Day 2 | Current weekly habit: 8 hours of sleep

The day went pretty sick. Although I wrote up the post after I've already wasted like 4 hours watching videos(which was the last drop that made be include it in the detox), right after I finished I went to the uni and crushed it for about 9 hours. Even though the final project deadline is super close, I think if I stay focused I can do baarely do this(which is great because just yesterday I was absolutely fucked).

Feelings: Whenever my mind wandered off of working, I thought about games. I didn't try to fight it, I just employed the meditation mindset of just observing the thoughts, the cravings, and accepting them as a part of me. I know they will pass and it's okay to have them. I also found myself alt-tabbing to this forum ALL the time. Very anxious, but I think that's just a mind that is in distress and lacks instant gratification that it was used to for so long.
Achievement: I think this was the first time after YEARS that I have not watched some stupid gaming video while eating lunch. Unbelievable.

I'm going home now and will do another unbelievable thing - just take a shower and go straight to bed. I need to wake up at 10 while hitting those 8 hours. CAN HE DO IT? FIND OUT NEXT ON TOM'S JOURNEY TO EXCELLENCE.
********************************************************************************************************
 

3 hours ago, dirkj3 said:

Hello @JustTom

Your current habit of sleeping for 8 hours is a good one!

I struggle with it a lot! It will make a lot of things a lot easier!

I have been on gamequitters a little longer today is  my day one even if I got to 2 weeks like 1 year ago..

I am happy that we are all sitting in the same boat!

I can recommend you picking up The willpower instinct by McGonigal.

Thanks. I've actually already listened to The Willpower Instinct, sick book for sure!

Edited by JustTom
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Your ending was nice!

Yeah today  was my first day and I did some studying for my chemistry exam tomorrow.

I wanted to work with the Pomodoro technique but I ended up not doing it.

I don' know whether I felt something today 

I have asked myself:" In daily life are there any big breakthroughs doing something for school ?

I can tell that I have been thinking about games as well.

During my break I wanted to download my fave game.

I have noticed that one really needs a strong anchor of focus  to not get lost in distractions.

 

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Day 3 | Current weekly habit: 8 hours of sleep (2/7)

Aaaand I did it! Yesterday was the first time after a long long time that I've went to sleep without my eyes and ears glued to my laptop and had a proper-length sleep. Felt almost strange, but I was able to wake up like a normal person and just go to the university and work. I was very unfocused but that was mostly due to the nature of current work and distractions from other people so it's fine. I did solid ~12 hours. 
Feelings: Cravings continue, but a tiny bit weaker. I felt frustrated when I hit some blocks in my project and couldn't get in the zone, but I'm glad I pushed through anyways. At the end of the day, I also felt bored on top of that and a bit disappointed in myself as some of my classmates clearly lost respect for me in the past few months, as I've been not working hard enough. Oh well. Things will get better very soon, I have my own path and as long as I stick to it, I will excel. I felt super happy in the morning.

Achievements: I executed multiple mini-habits without even focusing on them. All because I went to bed with a clear head and having the extra motivation from this forum. This might be trivial for others, but for me it was an unbelievable achievement: I actually woke up on the first alarm ring and didn't go back to sleep or started browsing the web - instead, I just sat for a while, then slowly made breakfast, hygiene etc. and went out. I have had SO MUCH struggle with getting out of my bed for the past few months/years it's crazy.

I have to wake up fairly early tomorrow and I got held up a bit doing the project, so I miiiiight miss the 8-hours by a bit, but as it's not for any reason of procrastination or inability to get up, I think I will let that slide this one time if I don't let it be below 7 hours. Let's see if I can repeat yesterday's success. FIND OUT NEXT ON.. yeah I will have to think of different 'jokes'.

Edited by JustTom
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7 minutes ago, Dannigan said:

This is an awesome start to a journal @JustTom  :D

~ Dani

Thanks a lot friend.  The encouragement from the community DEFINITELY helps. After the project is done I will get back to others more as well. 

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Day 4 | Current weekly habit: 8 hours of sleep (3/7)

The crowd was cheering, the trumpets and the drums playing the fanfare and confetti were in the air because truly no human has ever witnessed such glorious awe-inspiring success such was this morning. The word spread quickly and people were in celebration because Tom has, for 3 consecutive days, woke up on his own, on the first alarm ring, drank water, got dressed and all that stuff and went to the hustle place without any tricks. Just simple mini-habits such as not watching videos, not playing games and sleeping 8 hours. Incredible, I know. After that however, I couldn't really get in the zone and start focusing. In fact I procrastinated on THIS FORUM for hours just reading other people's posts. Will try to avoid that tomorrow. If the anxiety-inducing checking persists, I will put timed blocks on this website. I think it's just my brain still searching for an easy escape. BUT OH NO BUDDY, there is no way out, you gonna get brilliant whether you want it or not! 

The final project we've been working on is coming to an end. After that there's another batch of assignments of course, but I might have some time to actually do something else than studying at the uni. 

Feelings: I only felt cravings a little bit in the evening, when I came back home. Not very strong though. It feels kind of weird that I miss watching random youtube self-dev and other videos, rather than actually gaming. But then it makes a little bit of sense because I've quit games temporarily before, but I've never-NOT watched videos. Especially while eating. I just listen to a podcast now instead - I can't binge on podcasts. I feel much more free this way. Clearer in the head. It feels different. It feels fantastic. (THIS ONE DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE I'VE SPECIFICALLY SEARCHED FOR IT WITH PRIOR PURPOSE! HA! )

Achievement: As I've mentioned. Getting up from bed early and leaving the house right on, is still a newly acquired skill and will celebrate it as an achievement. Fuck yeah.

Action: Tomorrow will be quite a test. I have promised to one of my friends to go the gym early in the morning with him. It's not the gym part that is hard - I love working out(not a gymbro though), but the number of times I promised to come in the morning and didn't is too damn high. Maybe I'm overdoing it a little bit because the focus should really be on just sleeping, but hey - let's say if I don't show up, I'm not going to blame myself because that's not the current habit I'm implementing. All that self-dev studying I've been doing is telling me that this is incorrect self-talk, which is making me conditioned to actually fail. But then I really want to follow this structure of habits I've laid out. So the mindset is that when I wake up, I can go, or I can not go, whatever I feel like. No pressure. CHILL. You can tell I'm in a good mood by the number of memes I'm putting in. This is a good sign.

NEED ADVICE: If anybody's actually reading these - I'm not sure what should happen if I 'fail' a habit after I've already gone through the week. Say next week I have a night where I'll only sleep 3 hours - should I go back and redo '8 hours of sleep' for a week? Any other suggestions are welcome, even on writing, structure, etc.

Edited by JustTom
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Woohooo! ! You woke up on time, completed your morning routine, and started the day like a cannon shot! 

Keystone habit achieved.  ?

I love how you began the journal entry by writing in 3rd person (?).  Only one other person has done that (@ info-gatherer).  Very cool.

OK. ...about failing habits.  Give it time. At least a month.   It's more about adjusting the routine and keeping the cue and reward the same.  

Cue = @9:00 p.m. turn off the lights and go to sleep.

Routine = @8:30 p.m. change into pajamas, drink warm glass of milk, turn off cell phone, turn off computer, meditate, get into bed, and turn off lights by 9:00 p.m.

Reward = 8 hours sleep, a nice hot cup of coffee in the morning.  

So pay attention to what could be messing up the habit formation loop to acquire 8 hours of sleep a night.  Is it too much caffeine?  Watching too many videos? Is it the blue light emanating from your cell phone?  Anxiety about tomorrow's projects?  Maybe you don't require 8 hours if sleep?  Maybe it's less?  

I hope this helps.  

Edited by Dannigan
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Day 5 | Current habit: 8 hours of sleep (4/7)

The Rant

No confetti this time. I overslept. For 12 hours. Actual footage of me when I got up at 14:00. So yesterday I promised a buddy to go to the gym with him at 9 right? That required me to wake up at 8, but unfortunately I managed to only go to sleep at 2. Why? Well, I made a late-night sandwich and said to myself it's okay to watch 30 minutes of an episode of a TV series because I didn't include that in my detox. Fair enough I actually only watched 30 minutes and not the whole episode, but then I browsed this forum some more, browsed internet randomly some more, got cozy, watched the rest of the episode aaaand it's 2am. Yikes. I thought I will just sleep for 6 hours, wake up and go to the gym.

Do you know why I chose sleeping for 8 hours as my first habit? BECAUSE I USED TO DO THIS SHIT EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I just can't. Not right now. I have to work my way up to sleep less than 8 and be able to gather my willpower in the morning to go outside. This way, I just kinda checked my phone after the alarm, got sleepy and fell asleep. Like a fucking baby that needs babysitting. NO MORE. 

The day was pretty bad, as it is every time I oversleep for 12+ hours. Took me a lot of procrastination on this forum especially, to actually start working. Some day-dreaming about traveling to Japan and Korea too. But I did some work at least. Maybe 4-5 hours total. Meh. Oh yeah also, I watched 2 or 3 10-minute videos. Yikes intensifies.

I started writing a MASSIVE rant on my life at this point, but it's waaaay too late and I need to get my 8 hours. So I cut it out, will finish it tomorrow and post.

Feelings

0 cravings for games. Some cravings for videos. Especially when I'm about to eat - I don't know what to do. I have to get used to just eating in silence. Like a normal person. I felt bad about the morning so I couldn't get into the zone to work again. I got there eventually though. I don't blame myself for oversleeping though, trying to release the subconscious guilt, because that's not the current habit so it's okay to not do the others. The strategy is made that way for a reason.

Achievement

Today marks my longest detox-streak(only tried once before)... yay? I also proverbially pat myself on the back for taking a swift action after I got bad news at the uni, consequently resolving it immediately before it lead to a disaster, which it very well could have. 

Action

  • Tomorrow, I will focus more while working, minimizing distractions. Especially ignoring this forum until evening. This has become my place of comfort, but I have to be reasonable about this. Time is of MASSIVE VALUE to me. Seriously my dude. I know you're feeling anxious, but it's okay. Just observe that anxious feeling, don't try to run away and hide on forums and reddit. The feeling will make you stronger if you work with it.
  • From now on, I will make sure to finish everything I need to do on my laptop outside of my house so that I don't even open it before bed. If I have to eat - just eat in silence. 
Edited by JustTom

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The Rant
I read some of @Brad_Hurst's journal entries. It actually motivated me a lot and made me think of how stuck I am and have been for so long.
I'm 24. I've stumbled upon self-development at the end of high-school. I got super hyped, went for a bachelors in CS and the plan was to finish school while networking, finding potential partners for the future and doing projects with the goal of starting a tech startup after school. All that while producing music and working out as well - ayyyyy lmao. Anyways. This obviously did not happen. Because of my gaming addiction I've done barely enough to pass. In my culture, it was actually WEIRD to not do masters after bachelors so even though I thought about just going to industry, I didn't feel like I had enough skill to build my life the way I wanted yet. For me, getting a job is always just a short stepping stone towards my own venture. If I had to continue on that same university in my country, I would have not done it, BUT I got accepted to a very good university in Amsterdam. So I thought THIS IS IT! I'm going to finally live on my own, reset my life, find new friends(even though I love my buddies at home), new connections, new opportunities. I can build my own life instead of it being built for me by some default path. The plan remained the same: do school, socialize and find people, then build a business. 

The first 2-3 months were fantastic. Truly work hard - play hard. I was putting in ~60 hours into studying and the rest into working out and socializing. I felt like a king. But then after I got good grades from the first two courses(the hardest ones too), I got complacent, started gaming again and I was back to having absolutely no time for anything, except studying. And I hate it. Sure I'm learning. But all the projects I do are just crumbled and thrown away. All I get is grades that I couldn't give two shits about. No money, no contribution, no expression of creativity, nothing. And it's not even the most efficient way to learn at this point in my life. I would learn much more by just trying to create for others. 

So I'm stuck in this situation where I don't want to to this programme, but I have put so much time and effort into it and there's only 13 months left to go. It will make a lot of things in the future easier too. I could absolutely be building my life on the side, but I am not efficient enough yet to do that. I'm putting my hopes into this detox that I will get into my hustle mode again and will be able to work on all aspects of my life again. 

But on the other hand, this might just be a gigantic waste of time and potential resources. I want to create value for people, I want to spread my unique ideas - blogging/youtube. I want to get rich and be able to travel, buy a Tesla, apartment in the city center. I want to socialize more, get my GAME up if you know what I mean. I missed so much of my early life. I was alright with girls, but it was alright but nothing spectacular. I never went to parties, never been to a festival, sex was a no-no in my christian high-school. Only had a tight group of friends which I hang out with - they are awesome people, but it was so stale - got to a pub, get beers, talk about random shit, go home. I was stuck in that until 1 year ago basically. Then I started going out on my own(discovered RSD), meeting new people and it was great, but then it stopped when I started this masters. Again no time for anything.

I really really really want to create. I can't as long as I'm still doing school, but I think giving that up is stupid at this point. I already have some great skills. I was so engaged whenever I started researching for projects outside of the uni. I have so many ideas all the time - business, videos, music, cool ways to show my personality in this or that, traveling... I really want to do it the way Gary Vaynerchuk suggests - building a business while documenting with video and text, creating a following of people. I don't want to become Elon Musk, but want to make positive impact on people. I want to justify my fucking existence I mean for gods sake I'm 24 and I have legit contributed 0 value to the society except for my smart mouth. I'm just 'learning learning learning', leeching off of my parents money and the social system of EU. Also I need to go out and talk to the opposite sex or I will go fucking crazy very soon. Man, fuck it. I'm doing it. I don't know where this rant is going. I don't know if I'm getting motivated or just angry at this point but doesn't matter. I will do this. I will build something of great value. I WILL build my passive income machine. I WILL become the so-called 'influencer' so that I can spread my relentlessly positive ideas, I WILL get that dream girl, I WILL obtain complete freedom and control over my body and emotions. I am working towards it. I will stick to my system and by the end of detox, in 2-3 months, I will have established the most important rituals that most successful people have to keep them disciplined even in hard times and I will be so efficient that building my projects and socializing while finishing the last year of the masters' will be second-nature. 

This might be ultra-cringe but whatever. I guess this is my mission statement. These are my goals. I will not rest until this shit is in my life. 

Edited by JustTom
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Day 6 | Current habit: 8 hours of sleep (5/7)

The Rant

Sleep successful, morning successful, did a bunch of chores, almost finished the project except getting held up on one bug - hopefully it's not a big deal. Procrastinated less. 

Most notable thing is probably that I made an entrepreneurial plan for myself. I will only start executing small parts of it during the upcoming 2-3 months, but in summer if I don't decide to travel like a maniac, I will go head-on on that, with the main priority being building the MVP(mobile app) until september and then launching. I studied marketing a little bit while eating lunch and as breaks. I have so much excitement while doing all this, can't wait!!

As I said in my previous rant: I have a burning sensation inside me to share ideas. That's just kind of my personality. I LOVE sending articles, music, or whatever interesting I find, to my friends. I expect anything in return. I haven't seen anybody liking it as much as I do, except of course the influencers themselves. Therefore I think it's inevitable that I have to become one. I'm seriously thinking of starting a blog to start building a personal brand by posting a bit more structured and helpful posts. Hmm.. ? 

Feelings

I feel very relaxed for some reason. I was more focused that the previous 2-3 days despite bugfixing being pretty much the worst possible work imaginable. No cravings for games. Some for videos, but I watched some as part of educating myself on marketing. 

Achievement

Worked from home. It has been a very long time that I was able to do that as well. Usually I need to get surrounded by people that are also being productive, or else I can't do anything, but now I'm starting to feel much more control and discipline that I don't have to force that much.

Action

Will write a todo list after I wake up like I did today. Even though I don't usually have many tasks, it did keep me on track a bit more. 

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************

On 4/6/2018 at 2:38 AM, Dannigan said:

OK. ...about failing habits.  Give it time. At least a month.   It's more about adjusting the routine and keeping the cue and reward the same.  

 

You're right, I will be more relaxed about it.

 

5 hours ago, JSmith said:

Which Tesla do you want to buy? :D

Model 3 will do. But if another company comes with a full-fledged self-driving before them at the time I have the money for it, I'm jumping on that ship real fast haha! If the first car I buy can't drive me to office I will be disappointed.

 

Edited by JustTom
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18 hours ago, JustTom said:

Model 3 will do.

Nice. I mean, they're all great models, honestly.

I had my sights on the Model S, but now I'm thinking about the 2020 Roadster XD, looks sick. I just wonder what the safety rating will be.

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Day 7 | Current habit: 8 hours of sleep (6/7)

The Rant

It's like two thousand hours am in the morning because of the project deadline - it had to be finished. So real quick: day was very hard, very productive, I'm hyped about tomorrow and ESPECIALLY about the next few months. I think I finally know what I need to do for sure - it clicked. At least a big part of it. There's two things I need to still figure out though:

  • Should I travel OR start the entrepreneurial hustle this summer holidays?
  • Should I take a 1-year leave from the uni to see how things go professionally(or even quit?)?

I don't know yet. I will be asking people around and contemplating the next few weeks. Although I have to decide fast on that travel question since plane tickets are getting expensive :3_grin:

Feelings

Too stressed by the project -> no cravings for anything. I hated it with every fiber of my being. It's partly my fault for making it so miserable because I was still in biiiig relapse when it started. SUPER HYPED FOR TOMORROW. Finally I can do something else haHAA! And by that I mean more assignments. Fuck me.

Achievement

Action

Keep up the epic job Tom, you're doing great!

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************

9 hours ago, JSmith said:

Nice. I mean, they're all great models, honestly.

I had my sights on the Model S, but now I'm thinking about the 2020 Roadster XD, looks sick. I just wonder what the safety rating will be.

How about this bad boy?

Edited by JustTom
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Day 8 | Current habit: 8 hours of sleep (6/7)

The Rant

A little bit of time mismanagement(but not inefficiency or procrastination!) has lead me to have to stay up later to finish a thing and simultaneously, I have to wake up at 8am to go to the only two compulsory hours of school per week. I can't uphold the habit today. Unlucky. Therefore I'm just not adding a day, even though last night I succeeded and technically should be at 7/7 today. The day was productive like yesterday, ate well, did intermittent fasting, hustled and went to the gym - aaawwww yeahh buddy! I'm weak as shit after not working out for 3+ weeks but it feels good regardless! I also spent much less time on this forum and procrastinating less in general. Woo-to-the-hoo!

Since I've started day-dreaming and planning my future content creation, my need to build my product has increased even more now. I seriously can't wait to do it aaahhhh. If only I didn't have all these uni responsibilities. It's like a full-time job, except my programme is hardcore so it's more like 50 hours per week instead of 40. If my efficiency is good enough, I should still be able to pull off the good ol' "side hustle". But yeah. I'm getting there. Need some more time. Also, I should start logging my productive time again - used to do this when I started this masters and I was clocking an average of 60 hours per week excluding chores/traveling/gym. I wonder where I'm at now...

My to-do list is getting bigger than Trump's ego. Not because I'm not getting shit done, but because I'm adding things faster than I can realistically achieve in these days.  

Feelings

Super excited about the future. No cravings. Not even for videos. I got Gary's audiobook 'Crushing it!' so I can listen to that while I eat. The title is more cringe than this video. But Gary is a good guy. An honest guy. I also realized I can pre-download some useful vids to my phone as mp3. The book is making me super hyped, but also a little... disappointed(?) that I can't get into it right now. I need patience of a thousand turtles right now. I don't want to get over-excited and then have it fall-off because I couldn't start working on this stuff right away.

Achievement

I smiled more. For no reason, just to make myself happy and perhaps even others. Whenever I was walking through a corridor, I tried to smile when someone matched my eye contact. Not a lot, just a liiiiitle bit. It doesn't come naturally to me, so I didn't do it every time and usually it was so small that people probably didn't notice. But hey, I had to put SOMETHING in the achievement part, right? :6_smile:

Action

Log productive time.

Edited by JustTom
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Hey JustTom! Just skimmed through this journal and I have to say, I feel like I'm hearing myself talk :) I've actually been trying to do weekly habits as well and I also resort to vids when I don't game.

I've been habit-building longer than I have been game-sober, so I can give this response to your question earlier: if you break the habit after completing it, go back to it and restart it. Also, 7 days is a tad short - I've heard anything from 20 to 40 days. What I do is I take one habit and I just "upgrade" it if I keep it up for a week. So one habit was my bedtime: let's say I start with going to bed by 12, I upgrade it to 11:30 next week. But overall it's still the same habit.

Also, if you do maintain a 7-day streak, I say reward yourself with something you enjoy. For example, I generally don't drink soda/have junk food, so I have one of those at the end of a habit. Or for something major, I go out for lunch/dinner to a place I like a lot.

Congrats on the progress so far :) It's quite amazing that you're not bothered too much by the cravings. Keep it up!

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@karabas Yep, there are many of us, unfortunately.  

I realize 1 week is too short, but the intuition is that the individual habits are very easy to implement and they come together week by week to build the big guns - the morning and evening ritual. In the past I got inspired by ProjecyLifeMastery youtube channel and Tony Robbins to implement the morning ritual as a habit but I always failed, it was too big for me. That's why I split it into trivial parts(not really all of them are in the list). I will definitely monitor the progress to see if I need to give it more time. I really just don't want to overwhelm myself like I did in the past. Honestly the results have blew my mind so far! It's amazing that even if I focus only on this one thing, I gain so much more control that I can just do other positive actions quite effortlessly besides that, without forcing it.

About the habit failing.. yeah probably. But only if I fail because of myself and not external circumstances. Like when the deadlines come again, I expect to have to not sleep for a night or two :6_smile: I will try my damn hardest though!

Have you decided to take the detox yet?

Edited by JustTom
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Fair enough :) Morning/evening routines are key. Before I "relapsed" into uncontrolled gaming, I had a very good sleep schedule and it changed everything. I think it all starts with keeping the same bedtime - I'm not sure if that's possible in your case (it seems like your schedule can require you to stay up sometimes), but I'd highly recommend that as a habit.

And yes, I did. I'm in day 1 :)

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Day 9 | Productive hours: 12 | Current habit: 8 hours of sleep (7/7) 

The Rant

As an 'end of a habit' reflection, I made a vlog! Uploaded it to youtube as unlisted. And then in the evening I got inspired so I actually made another one.. It's cringe as fuck, looks like I got a lot of work to do regarding my presentation - which is also one of the reasons I'm doing it. To improve my presentation. It is also quite random, not structured at all, I had some points but since I'm kinda winging it I didn't even finish most of them. Whatever. I was extremely hesitant to post it here. But eh. What's the worst that could happen right? RIGHT? I sent a link to this journal to 1 friend of mine who is an addict too. Hopefully he's not following this lol. But ey bro, if you watch the vid... just don't tell me okay? This way I can live in a sweet bubble of online "anonymity".

Day was productive, although I once again didn't manage to get into the zone so not very efficient. Oh well. Was alright. Decreased procrastination, went to the gym. 

I'm starting to log productive hours now. Productive hours are when I study/do projects or any other type of career work. I do include breaks for food, but those are very fast anyways. I do not, however, include gym time or commuting. I also do not count times where I take a longer break(90+ minutes), but that happens rarely.

EDIT: aaarrrrghh, I stayed up for 3 more hours watching videos. So literally the first day I mark the habit of sleeping as done, I break it. Good going Tom! gg

Feelings

No cravings. Lot's of feelings, but I already talked about that in the short vlogs. 

Achievement

  • I mark my first habit as DONE!
  • Managed to finish the work yesterday evening super fast so I got enough sleep
  • Vlog 1
  • Vlog 2

Action

  • Focus on getting into the zone tomorrow. Right now I'm spending a lot of time in a good way, but my focus is weak.
  • Next habit: Dream Journal
Edited by JustTom

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Oh man, I'm sorry you broke your habit on the very first night :( What's the plan now? Will you run it for another 7 days?

Watched your vlogs. I think you speak perfectly fine :) I know what you mean about feeling like you're behind, but be careful of comparing your real life to instagram. People are very good at putting filters on things. Their life may look amazing, but you don't know what it's actually like to be them. And I'm sure many of the guys who you look up to are probably upset that they aren't as successful as those even further above them. There's always somebody richer/more famous/more whatever. It's a never-ending cycle, so find where you want to be at and just do you :)

But also, here's the thing: battling with yourself like you're doing with the detox is hard work and it's a hell of an experience. I've gone through tough times that set me back, but it also gave me the strength and experience that others don't have that helps me in future obstacles.

So if one of these successful guys who didn't have to go through what you're going through ends up facing some massive personal challenge, they'll flounder. Whereas you will have the experience to get through it and come out alive on the other side. Think of how common it is for celebrities to suffer from addictions and how many end up dying of overdose or just ruining their lives. Lindsay Lohan made it big at a young age - and then derailed her entire career and is JUST getting back on track.

At the end of the day, life's not a race. It's a marathon. I know you're comparing yourself to guys your age, but think of what you want to be like at 40 or 50 or even 80 and aim for that. With the experience you have from doing what you're doing now, you might get there before the rest :)

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Day 10 | Productive hours: 0 | Current habit: Dream Journal (0/7) 

The Rant

Looks like today was my first failure during the detox. Because the evening before I stayed up super late watching videos, I didn't have enough willpower to wake up in the morning after only 6 hours, as is the tradition. So I did nothing but sleeping and watching youtube the entire day. Pathetic. I also completely fucked my sleeping schedule so I will not sleep this night and go to bed sooner 'tomorrow' to get back to 8 hours per day.

Because of this video/sleep relapse, I've decided to start the video part of this detox seriously. So far I've said I'm not going to penalize myself for watching vids, thus everything runs on willpower. From now on, I will be taking TEN DAYS off of my detox counter for it. Still the same rules apply where I can pre-download audio to listen to while I eat and I can watch anything that I actually need for any justified purpose. It's vague I know, but usually it's easy for me to identify when I'm watching out of procrastination and when I'm educating myself on purpose.

About the Dream Journal habit: in the morning, I write down at least one sentence about the dreams I had. If I can't remember anything then that's the sentence. The purpose for this is to increase dream recall and awareness in order to regain my lucid dreaming ability. Also, it makes my brain start-up in the morning because of the focused memory search.

Feelings

Mild cravings. Quite a bit of guilt. But also confidence that I can come back strong tomorrow and onwards.

Achievement

Didn't install or watch any gaming-related content despite a shitty day. 

Action

I will NOT spend the whole night procrastinating. Seriously. I'm getting a coffee now, will finish watching the second episode of Black Sails and then I'll open R-studio and do some nice feature correlation analysis.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************

Thanks for the wise words @karabas. Intellectually, I of course understand this. But it's still frustrating. I know I will get there eventually, but I need time to go through the process. 

Edited by JustTom
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20 minutes ago, JustTom said:

Action

I will NOT spend the whole night procrastinating. Seriously. I'm getting a coffee now, will finish watching the second episode of Black Sails and then I'll open R-studio and do some nice feature correlation analysis.

That's the spirit! "I get knocked down, but I get up again, ain't nothin gonna keep me down" stuff going on there :)

Honestly, that's the most important part: to be able to get up from a setback and just keep going.

And yeah, def. Vids are a huge problem along with games.

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