Ready to quit

[AgentTom]

Hello everyone.  My name is Tom, and like most everyone else, I'm here to join a community of like-minded individuals whilst breaking my addiction.  

Like Cam, I was introduced to StarCraft when I was 10 or 11 years old.  My friends and I would just play casually through the campaign and then talk about it at school.  Then WarCraft 3 was released, and that's when I think my addiction began.  I wanted to be a top player, and played a bunch in middle school and high school.  In fact, I think that was the only game I played until SC2 was released.  I joined an amateur WC3 team, which led to me getting into a top 3 team in North America.  The manager of the team wasn't the greatest individual.  He just wanted to take the best players from the team and move on to WC3L, which he did without telling any of the other members.  It was around this time that I quit WC3 and moved on.

Anyway, when I went away to college, I was very social and gamed a little bit on the side.  When I moved out of the dorms, my gaming addiction had come back full force.  I would alienate myself from my friends, smoke weed and drink by myself... It also destroyed my relationship and GPA.  However, I didn't drop out, but it took me and extra 2 years to graduate (6 years total) with only a Bachelor's.  I was fortunate enough to have networked in college, which landed me my first and second jobs as a software engineer.  Now I'm working for a top 100 Reuters tech company, and I am proud of that, but still believe that I hit a lucky streak given my lack of self-control when it came to gaming.  

My career is going so-so at the moment.  I have a healthy relationship with my boss and co-workers.  Outside of work though, I don't have much of a social life.  I just turned 28 in January.  I've lost contact with many of my friends from college, and have even made up lame excuses when some of them would invite me out.  I'm afraid that some of those relationships are beyond repair.

I've been playing casually playing WoW for a few years now, and just feel that my life is stagnating.  I haven't grown as an individual at all since I have graduated from college.  I want that to change.  My focus right now is making new friends, finding a girl that's right for me (or at least date), furthering my career, and taking the steps laid out by Cam to rid myself of the addiction.

Right now it feels like I have no purpose, and I want that to change.  I hope that 2/11/2018 will be a day that I can celebrate.  My journey begins here, right now.

Thank you for reading this,

Tom

[Hitaru]

Welcome Tom! Being open and honest is the best foundation to build new relationships and nurture the old ones. You've got this.

[Cam Adair]

Welcome, Tom! Here's a video I have on purpose that might help you:

 

[dwalk77]

Welcome Tom, and thanks for sharing.  It sounds like you're in a similar boat to me...I'm 33, have a decent job, but not crazy about it, and no girl.  I've squandered a lot of time and opportunities since graduating college..but..I believe there's something more for us.  Take care, hope to hear back soon

[AgentTom]

@Cam Adair Your video described exactly how I feel right now.  I want to quit gaming, but am having a difficult time finding something to replace it with.  I've toyed with the idea of starting a blog, but don't know what it would be about or how well it'd be received.  It's difficult to find ways to fill the void in a manner that gives me the same fulfillment I get from gaming.

 

@dwalk77 Thanks for responding.  I too believe there is something more for us.  One would think that finding something to replace gaming with is easy since we have the Internet.  You can pretty much learn anything, whether it be a new skill, subject matter, or taking up a new hobby.  Where do you even begin though?  That's the real issue I'm having.

[Cam Adair]

50 minutes ago, AgentTom said:

@Cam AdairIt's difficult to find ways to fill the void in a manner that gives me the same fulfillment I get from gaming.

You won’t. There is almost no other activity that does what gaming does in ONE thing. That’s why you need multiple things, and also why you need immense patience while not only finding new things but also while your brain comes back to reality. 

When you quit gaming you need to have a fundamental shift in your values. Also don’t misjudge ‘fulfilment’ in gaming from just that level of immersion. That’s a lot more what it is than fulfilment. It’s flow state. 

[AgentTom]

Thanks Cam.  By the way, do you think it would be a bad idea to start a blog about my progress on addiction?  Its primary purpose would be to help others going through the same thing, and I know you've done similarly here.  The whole point of it is to give me a constant project to be working on whilst breaking the addiction, but perhaps the subject matter is too sensitive.

Edited February 14, 2018 by AgentTom

[Hitaru]

16 minutes ago, AgentTom said:

Thanks Cam.  By the way, do you think it would be a bad idea to start a blog about my progress on addiction?  Its primary purpose would be to help others going through the same thing, and I know you've done similarly here.  The whole point of it is to give me a constant project to be working on whilst breaking the addiction, but perhaps the subject matter is too sensitive.

You can open a journal here if you want the visibility, but if you also want to improve the skills building a blog you can do it as well and link it. We have guys who do this, make videos/vlogs in Youtube and other kinds of content. Most welcome!

[Cam Adair]

7 hours ago, AgentTom said:

Thanks Cam.  By the way, do you think it would be a bad idea to start a blog about my progress on addiction?  Its primary purpose would be to help others going through the same thing, and I know you've done similarly here.  The whole point of it is to give me a constant project to be working on whilst breaking the addiction, but perhaps the subject matter is too sensitive.

Great idea imo.

Also would love to share your story on the site. Details here.