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hycniejsy

[Legendary?] Mad Pharmacist

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17 hours ago, Cam Adair said:

Good luck on your test!

Thanks! I'm gonna do my best :)

7 hours ago, Piotr said:

No computer, only studying. Good luck.

True for me.

I did it today. Studying, and using only my old laptop - no gaming possibilities and I manage to study for 6 hours. In 100% focus. Hell yea! :D 

We'll see what tomorrow test will bring. :)  

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Hey there, Mad Pharmacist here. 

I've just finished test on gaming disorder on GameQuitters website and I met 9 out 9 criteria of gaming disorder. That sucks, but I have to deal with it.

I'm trying to get rid of it from my life for the last 6 years. Over 6 years. And I did a lot of hard work, but I got stuck right now. 

There were many things that made me do so. Again my workaholism lead me to work to the exhaustion for the last year and I neglected some other areas of my life. Most of the neglected area was health, specifically nutrition - I ate anything to eat fast and get back to work. I got a great result on work, but my health got ruined.

Now I technically have holidays but I have some things to get done. I can't go through them. Especially I have problem with any activity not connected to the computer which I have to do when I'm alone. I procrastinate a lot to avoid confrontation with it. I tried to escape so many times. But no more. Not anymore.

I relapsed couple of times and neglected some of my duties. I admit to that, but now I'm focused on things. I have to. I mean, I have to begin for the next time my 90 day detox. 

Starting right here. 26th July 2018. Day 0.

I will write about my emotions right here. No more gaming, watching streams, news, trailers, music from games. I deleted my Steam account forever and I'm glad I did it. Now I have to plan my computer usage each time I do it to avoid procrastination.

So, let's do this!

 

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I did almost 24 hours of no gaming! Hell fuckin' yea! I have to repeat this one day at the time to finish my detox ? That's it for now gotta go to sleep (10:30 PM!!!)

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Hey! I just woke up at 6 A.M and I fell very happy and proud of it. ? Let's get this day, I mean day 1 (over 24 hours of being game free finished! ?) Let's get it started!

I am grateful for couple of things:

  • Ability to read
  • Perfect avoidance of procrastination
  • Living in my beautiful country 

See ya later!

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8 hours ago, JustTom said:

I wish to learn this skill ? Good luck

Well, it's not "perfect" perfect. It's just perfect enough for me. Still I am working on this and it requires ton of effort for me.

I felt tired today but I'm gonna stay on my way.

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Hello.

I am back. Again.

Damn it. I didn't play video games for 87 days (since 26th July). I am proud of it. I almost finished the detox for 90 days.

It cost me a lot of effort and I am not proud of it. Why? Because still I watched streams when other people played.

I have to work on this and I hope that journaling will help me in this.

So, I am back.

@Cam Adair How it was in Tanzania? :) I see you did a lot of improvements on the forum. That's great. 

Is there any possibility for you to make all of my previous journals into one? This might be great retrospection for me and some kind of case study for others.

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2 minutes ago, hycniejsy said:

Because still I watched streams when other people played.

This is a big deal. I was kinda proud of myself the last two times that I reached 40 and then 65 days, but I kept relapsing and I didn't know why. Now that I'm at measly 10 days again, I can clearly see why - before, I was allowing myself to watch gaming content, which obviously satisfied the same urge, whenever I had cravings. But what it would do is that the cravings never went away, they just kind of wibbled and wobbled, sometimes disappearing only to come back after a productive week and this always led to an eventual relapse. Quitting the entire gaming world means truly detoxing. This is much much harder, but from my perspective, it's the only way. Good luck!

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Hello there GameQuitters,

I didn't write for a long time.

Well, seriously. I have many good and bad moment through the last couple of months. 

I was going to therapist and worked a lot through therapy. It was hard, but I got realised more about my emotions, which always were not as important as should be. I always put them aside and never care about what I feel at this moments.

Why I decided to come back here and write? 

To be honest, I had to stop my therapy after 7 months of recovery. It just didn't help me that much. I mean, maybe first 2 months were the most impressive for me, but after that, nothing special happened. So, I decided to write here about how my recovery is going while waiting for visiting new therapist.

I feel like I did a lot, but still, sometimes I feel like giving up. I have doubts. I don't know what to do at the worst moments. I hope that writing here will help me deal with some of my struggles and worst emotions. I'll come back here whenever I'll feel the need, not only to this journal, but to other's people journals aswell.

 

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2 hours ago, hycniejsy said:

I got to clean up my flat, and then get to study. My academic performance isn't really good so far, so it's time to improve it.

Mine neither 

I am having an exam on Monday and  I procrastinated to study for it.

Like all exams

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20 hours ago, Hitaru said:

Welcome back amigo! 😁

Hola amigo! 🙂 

I am still struggling with studying all the time. I did some, but I don't know if it's enough.

Also 3 hours of procrastination doesn't look good for me.

But I will do my best for this exam!

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