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Read: A Guide to Quit Gaming for One Year

taichi

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MENTALLY ENGAGING:

  • Sociology reading/writing.
  • Python.
  • Workouts.

RESTING:

  • Reading.
  • Guitar & singing.
  • Cooking.
  • Walk in the green.

SOCIAL:

  • Volunteer clean ups.
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Day 5

Pushed myself far too much yesterday. Staying out all day in the summer heat + freezing air conditioning.  Could hardly move today.

Neglected myself and binge watched garbage YouTube stuff on my mother's laptop.

Bad day. I'm thankful that my mother is back from work now.

Edited by taichi

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Day 6

Found myself browsing mmo websites. Came here to ground my senses.

End-of-term stress is here I guess.

 

Ordered a book that might be a reference for my thesis.

Also did some home improvement. Less cables on the ground.

Edited by taichi

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Day 7

Feeling myself a little bit. It's horrific to think it took me 2 full days to bounce back from exhaustion.

Also starting to realize that on weekdays I am lonely & want company. Going to school where I have no friends is a stress factor.

But then again I can't simply change that, so I'll just have to acknowledge that feeling and live with it. 

Identifying and naming stressful feelings is a good way to cope. (8:25 am)

 

Attended class today. Very pleased with myself. Maybe the beginning of a good streak of days.

Better get myself some comfy clothes for the summer. (19:55 pm)

Edited by taichi

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20 hours ago, taichi said:

Going to school where I have no friends is a stress factor.

But then again I can't simply change that, so I'll just have to acknowledge that feeling and live with it.

Well, you could always work on your social skills? Making friends is an ability that you can train, you know 🙂

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12 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

Well, you could always work on your social skills? Making friends is an ability that you can train, you know 🙂

I suppose that's right. What I can't change is that being in school 2 years longer than everyone around makes me hate myself.

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11 hours ago, taichi said:

I suppose that's right. What I can't change is that being in school 2 years longer than everyone around makes me hate myself.

I disagree. You cannot change that you are in school 2 year longer than the others around you. This is a fact. So far, we're on the same page.

But you hating yourself is merely optional. This is not a given fact that is unchangeable by nature. You choose to view yourself in that way.

Thus, you can change it. You decide what is real and what is not.

I don't think you would find any person here on the forum that agrees with you not being able to change how you feel about yourself and your situation.

I'm not saying it's not understandable or easy to fix. I understand how you feel and why, don't get me wrong. But you need to realize that you do not need to hate yourself. 

Part of growing as a person is viewing yourself with some love and chill out a bit. Make mistakes, that's fine. But forgive yourself afterwards, when you've learned the lesson. 

If you keep beating yourself up over something you can no longer influence, you're just beating yourself up over nothing. Instead, forgive yourself and deal with the problem. After the problem is fixed, continue being nice and loving to yourself by making sure you never end up in a crappy situation like that ever again.

I don't know you, but if you need me, I'm here, man. All you gotta do is send me a message 🙂

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16 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

I disagree. You cannot change that you are in school 2 year longer than the others around you. This is a fact. So far, we're on the same page.

But you hating yourself is merely optional. This is not a given fact that is unchangeable by nature. You choose to view yourself in that way.

Thus, you can change it. You decide what is real and what is not.

I don't think you would find any person here on the forum that agrees with you not being able to change how you feel about yourself and your situation.

I'm not saying it's not understandable or easy to fix. I understand how you feel and why, don't get me wrong. But you need to realize that you do not need to hate yourself. 

Part of growing as a person is viewing yourself with some love and chill out a bit. Make mistakes, that's fine. But forgive yourself afterwards, when you've learned the lesson. 

If you keep beating yourself up over something you can no longer influence, you're just beating yourself up over nothing. Instead, forgive yourself and deal with the problem. After the problem is fixed, continue being nice and loving to yourself by making sure you never end up in a crappy situation like that ever again.

I don't know you, but if you need me, I'm here, man. All you gotta do is send me a message 🙂

Thanks for your kind words.

Yes. I need to change the way I see myself & the world around me. That is undeniably the root of my current unhappiness & mental dead end.


I dunno how to put this, but not having friends in school still seems very unchangeable to me. The people around me & the major that I study (both of which I hate) are all part of the mistake that I made 4 years ago.

I can see I'm being very stubborn here. But that's how I see it right now.

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Could you perhaps switch majors or change schools? Or maybe join a club or take up a new hobby that gives access to a new potential social circle?

Or if you truly hate it all, just quit? And go do something else? I mean, the useful thing about shitty jobs is that because they're shitty, there is always money to be made. I have a job that I can sometimes barely stand doing. But it helps me pay the rent and I use my free time to develop my skills and myself so I can find a better one. It's hard sometimes, but in the long term it pays off.

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5 hours ago, Phoenixking said:

Could you perhaps switch majors or change schools? Or maybe join a club or take up a new hobby that gives access to a new potential social circle?

Or if you truly hate it all, just quit? And go do something else? I mean, the useful thing about shitty jobs is that because they're shitty, there is always money to be made. I have a job that I can sometimes barely stand doing. But it helps me pay the rent and I use my free time to develop my skills and myself so I can find a better one. It's hard sometimes, but in the long term it pays off.

I'm looking to join a local volunteer clean-up team from next Saturday. It should be a good place to start making friends.   

Whether I'm quitting school or not, I should go get myself a job. Being able to support myself would be a great change.  

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