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Damian's journal


Damiano

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I start late, its already my 15'th day of no gaming. And its harder than before. I was never a multiplayer gamer. I focused on games that required thinking and planning, so i actually was thinking about what to do in the game even when not playing, so my mind was most of the time in the game, so to speak. Now i cant seem to think of anything else. 

I quit gaming just like that, from one moment to another. I was in the bathroom, the game was paused in the middle of a very exciting game, and a new game was just about to finish installing, so i was even more excited, the night was going to be epic. An then it hit me... "If you ever wanted to quit, this would be the hardest moment" ... and so, i came back to the room, turned the PC off, and that was that. I know it makes little sense, but the fact that its harder, makes me more motivated, I am a gamer, i love a challenge, i love when things get hard, only then can i become better, only then true learning happens.

My life was perfect, I had the life i always dreamed about. Good job, my own house, could afford to live comfortably and have a lot of free time to play games. This was my dream when i was a kid, and i did it, and it is(was) great. I cant think of a reason to stop living like that. I miss it, just the same way you miss your childhood home, when the time comes to move out. Its very sad, but necessary.

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Hi Daniel. I dont have a well defined reason to quit, there are many reasons, one of which is to make room in my mind for other stuff, because my mind is so saturated i cant think of other things to do to have fun except gaming, and that bothers me.

No, i havent read anything yet, i am reducing computer time to a minimum, my gaming pc is in boxes so im using my laptop. Im making it hard for me to game :)  But i will read it when the need arises. 

So today, im keeping myself busy all day, working around the house, cleaning the forest from trash while searching for mushrooms, which is one of my favorite things to do now, just walking alone in the forest. I dont have anyone to spend time with, so im mostly alone, I hope that when the game noise in my minds starts to settle, i will be able to find something i enjoy.

 

 

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Today was hard, i kept having this urge to start building an empire... xD  but i didnt, took another 3 hours of garbage cleaning in the forest, found some really nice mushrooms, will make a soup tomorrow :) (i know what im doing).

Im also thinking of practicing archery again, just to add something to do while there is nothing else. 

Its so strange how the mind is searching for diffeent ways to convince itself its alright to be a gamer lol.

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Because ruling in real life is boring and I am not competent enough to rule over anybody. What about you, would you start an empire in RL?

I did and failed, and now doing it even better B| (knock on wood). I didn't mean it in a sense of pillaging neighbors and putting up statues of yourself xD. It's just people need vision, and if you have a pretty good one people are willing to help if you share with integrity.

Today went by so fast, i didnt even nottice. Nothing of interest happened. :)

Conciseness is the sister of talent ;)xD.

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people are willing to help if you share with integrity.

I dont trust people and Im tired of playing the manipulation game. Vision is never a problem, I just stopped caring about it all. Maybe some day I will care again.

 

Conciseness is the sister of talent

Plase explain, I dont see a relation here :D

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Today is the first day i don have the urge to play a game. Even if I think about it, there is no need or want to play, which is awesome! I think its because im reading all of your stories and recomendations, its really empowering to fight together.

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This is great, my brain has started the overdrive phase. Im also doing the nofap detox, and damn its great to do everything at the same time. One recovery gives me strength to fight the other lol. Today games mattered very little.

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This is great, my brain has started the overdrive phase.

Awesome! Doing NoFaP/NoGaming at the same time might be a bit hard at the start, but it will surely pay off in the future. So I recommend you to stick with those.

Today games mattered very little.

That is progress my friend! Sooner or later this type of mind state will be your default one ;)

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