90 day detox take 2

[CG EYE]

Archived journal deleted and posted here:

"20/7/17
 

One of the game design aspects of Pokemon Go that was keeping me and many other trainers in my guild hanging by a thread was the daily streak bonus.

After my last 7th day streak bonus on Saturday I quit PoGo after playing over a full year of this game.

A sad thing that happened today was one of my fellow PoGo trainers messaged me to see if I was still playing and I told him no.

This fellow trainer lives in my area and has been through a lot of battles with me. I guess since we were on Team Instinct we had an "us versus them" underdog mentality and did quite well playing cooperatively. I felt much guilt and sadness when I told him about this.

Just wanted to know if anyone here has been in a similar situation where they played a game online and the social aspect and the guilt of leaving affected them and if they have successfully got other players to quit too?

 

23/7

Do I just continue my journal here?

Its Day 8 and today it is bitter sweet. Today marks my first win of reaching my 7 day no pogo streak!

However this also marks the release of a worldwide pogo event where they are releasing some legendary Pokemon. Usually I would be all over this and I am getting all these notifications and posts from my guild. It might be better if I just ghost out of my guild! 

Instead of logging in I am going to resurface the floor boards in my house instead. Yesterday I sanded down my floorboards and I was really proud of this achievement as I had to teach myself from YouTube videos. It is not an easy task but it was a real life achievement unlocked!

thank you for your support

 

23/7

So I just relapsed.

Did pretty well all weekend.

Got my floorboards looking real nice.

Logged into messenger and have been leaving various chats and pogo FB guild group.

Then one of my guild mates tells me that the event includes double candy, which essentially means I can cash in on all the useless junk pokemon ive been hoarding.

So I logged in and one thing leads to another...45 mins later my head is buzzing. 

I didn't even go and try catch a legendary pokemon which would defintely be a few hours expedition.

Funny how there are small things that can get you to log back in."

 

 

[-n.g-]

 

Funny how there are small things that can get you to log back in.

yep. same thing with Killing Floor 2- daily drop, summer events etc etc. the event ended and I ended with it, burnout finally got me.

Researchers found that every notification you get on facebook shoots some dopamine-the reward chemical- into your brain. This results in you opening the notification to see it out of curiosity causing you to spend more time on facebook and occasionally jot some content down on the site.

As for the social aspect, I have good enough friends on steam, I think. I have known most regulars for 2 years and some for 4-5 years. I sent a message out to each group telling them that I have currently got a lot of priorities in life to deal with and that I will be off steam at least until around December (don't even bother giving a specific date, they might start messaging you when it drops). If they are unhappy about that, just tell them "I know but you know how it is, work -life balance, the family, other friends." If you can find something completely unrelated to games that you share a common interest in perhaps grow that interest from there and never mention games again. Delete the app and ask someone who does not play pogo to hold your account by changing email and password for the time being. 

I deleted everything even vaguely game related off my computer (even went so far as to clean install it), removed myself from the groups on discord and then removed discord, removed the hard drive storage so that I couldn't install loads of games on it and that was that. I am sure some of them who didn't get the memo in time have messaged back, but I am not going to be bothered in doing a rain dance to view it. Only a small ounce of guilt crossed my mind but knowing I parted on good terms-at least temporarily was good enough for me. If I want more social; I will take up a social hobby and make new friends, there are plenty of other nice people in the world (but the really good ones are 1 in 100 I swear). 

I got rid of virtually every aspect of social media including facebook and felt a lot better for it-If I could not delete it then I made a gmail account, spent some time changing emails and then deleted the gmail account. At the end of these 90 days I will think about selling my steam account (dodgy but how are the robots at steam gonna know? I want to recoup some of my costs back).

[Guest]

Welcome back! Please share what you'll do differently this time if you want to. There's always something to learn from our failures I feel. 

[CG EYE]

14/8/17

so today is day #1 take 2

thank you for all your kind messages of support.

so my initial feelings of shame have mostly dissipated. 

Having read the other posts I realise that this is common to relapse and that people do not judge each other on this forum. 

I think it is funny how in a game you can methodically restart/respawn and not dwell on the failed previous attempt. But when it comes to a relapse we experience immense sense of shame and guilt. Hey these feelings are normal but it is good to remind ourselves that with each attempt you learn something new and can have a better crack the next time. Just like in a game.

Regards 

CG

 

[Mettermrck]

I think it helps being around other people who struggle with the same things I do. Even though I might feel guilt or shame for relapsing, I can't project that on to someone else who has done the same thing. And in turn that reduces my own sense of failure. If that makes sense.

[CG EYE]

Thanks Mettermrck. You are so active in this forum. Have been looking for one of your personal posts to support but most of your posts are for others

[CG EYE]

So I have left one of the core raid chat groups and ppl added me back in and have told me of the famou Mewtwo release. What do you do about such posts like "it's a waste" "pick up your game" 

Even if I did play this event there is only a 1%capture rate. 

[Mettermrck]

Thanks Mettermrck. You are so active in this forum. Have been looking for one of your personal posts to support but most of your posts are for others

Ah my bad. I'll make sure I don't miss your journal. ?

[CG EYE]

Ha ha I mean I want to leave a message of support for you @Mettermrck lol

[giblets]

Pick up your game mate? What a spud. I really wish some people could just step out of their bodies for a minute and see how poor of a leader they are. I compare the 1% chance to when I was playing WoW and what made me give up - the random drops. I'd spent an hour or three doing a dungeon or a raid hoping to get the 15-30% drop of an item.... and it doesn't. Then I would feel so guilty for the next few hours or days about how much I just wasted those hours of my life with nothing to show for it. That was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. Choose some activities where you have something to show for your time, no matter how small it is.

[BigPete247]

 

Funny how there are small things that can get you to log back in.

yep. same thing with Killing Floor 2- daily drop, summer events etc etc. the event ended and I ended with it, burnout finally got me.

Researchers found that every notification you get on facebook shoots some dopamine-the reward chemical- into your brain. This results in you opening the notification to see it out of curiosity causing you to spend more time on facebook and occasionally jot some content down on the site.

As for the social aspect, I have good enough friends on steam, I think. I have known most regulars for 2 years and some for 4-5 years. I sent a message out to each group telling them that I have currently got a lot of priorities in life to deal with and that I will be off steam at least until around December (don't even bother giving a specific date, they might start messaging you when it drops). If they are unhappy about that, just tell them "I know but you know how it is, work -life balance, the family, other friends." If you can find something completely unrelated to games that you share a common interest in perhaps grow that interest from there and never mention games again. Delete the app and ask someone who does not play pogo to hold your account by changing email and password for the time being. 

I deleted everything even vaguely game related off my computer (even went so far as to clean install it), removed myself from the groups on discord and then removed discord, removed the hard drive storage so that I couldn't install loads of games on it and that was that. I am sure some of them who didn't get the memo in time have messaged back, but I am not going to be bothered in doing a rain dance to view it. Only a small ounce of guilt crossed my mind but knowing I parted on good terms-at least temporarily was good enough for me. If I want more social; I will take up a social hobby and make new friends, there are plenty of other nice people in the world (but the really good ones are 1 in 100 I swear). 

I got rid of virtually every aspect of social media including facebook and felt a lot better for it-If I could not delete it then I made a gmail account, spent some time changing emails and then deleted the gmail account. At the end of these 90 days I will think about selling my steam account (dodgy but how are the robots at steam gonna know? I want to recoup some of my costs back).

That was step one for me, i plan on joining a club or organization in college. That new game or email update you got about a brand spanking new feature/meta will get you to log back in. I'm just glad i found this forum to see if anyone else had the same problem.

[CG EYE]

Day 4 

Its getting easier. I do find that I compulsively check my phone for god knows what. I am constantly reminded of the game when I go to the city. I went to improv class last night and went to the gym today and plan to watch Dunkirk tonight. Keeping busy is key. 

[Mettermrck]

I'm starting to wonder if gaming is a subset of an internet/smartphone addiction and the latter is the worst part.

[CG EYE]

The way apps are heading with gamification in the app design I'm sure smartphone problems will arise. Question is can you create a world in an app that is as immersive as a classical gaming world?

[giblets]

I'm starting to wonder if gaming is a subset of an internet/smartphone addiction and the latter is the worst part.

This. I always chuckle at the people I knew many years ago who said I was addicted to my computer but now won't peel themselves away from their smartphones even when you're talking to them. A specific example is my family, the same exact sibling who used to berate me for not going outside or for not getting off the nintendo now can't even have dinner with me at the table without having to check their phone 5-6 times, or simply just sit there and spend time together without wanting to be surfing the web at the same time.

Makes me think we probably all have the same tendencies, we just realised ours at an earlier age and/or with a different device.

[CG EYE]

Has anyone seen Dunkirk yet?

[BigPete247]

Has anyone seen Dunkirk yet?

Need to, after watching Saving Private Ryan several times, i think its time to watch another famous war movie. Also, good job on not playing on your phone @CG EYE.

[CG EYE]

@BigPete247 I don't wanna spoil it for you but it makes me think about survival in war times and how we in western countries we live in abundance hence modern day problems such as addiction to games.

Also watching a good movie a good way to distract oneself from playing.

I am now almost 1 week now into this detox. Its funny when family ask what I've been up to on what I am up to on my phone and ask "are you playing pokemon"? I can proudly say no! 
I do get cravings though, but I have surprisingly been able to stay away.

[Mettermrck]

Yes, I notice that when I'm doing well in this detox, I can talk to people and admit my past struggles with my head held high. If I slip, then I get quiet and reclusive again.

[BigPete247]

@BigPete247 I don't wanna spoil it for you but it makes me think about survival in war times and how we in western countries we live in abundance hence modern day problems such as addiction to games.

Also watching a good movie a good way to distract oneself from playing.

I am now almost 1 week now into this detox. Its funny when family ask what I've been up to on what I am up to on my phone and ask "are you playing pokemon"? I can proudly say no! 
I do get cravings though, but I have surprisingly been able to stay away.

Aw, well, i guess its beneficial to look at it that way too, how easy they had it back then. No electronics, no online play, would be nice to open up my board game in the 40s. 

[Zala]

I hope you are doing ok. That's all for now

 

[CG EYE]

Thanks @Zala @BigPete247 @Mettermrck

its day 15

It's winter in Australia and ive noticed that I have been feeling a real slump in motivation and letting things slide more than usual. This has been a pattern for me for years where I just wanna nap when I get home from work. 

Work has been busy/stressful and I've been keeping busy socially with improvisation workshops and toastmasters at night.

I watched the Maymac fight but I didn't drink. Overall I haven't really done anything too thrilling or exciting. Things kinda seem bland which can be a good thing?

I had this memory today of the times I use to gamble at the casino and how I kept coming back for that "rush" of adrenaline. I knew this wasn't healthy so I've now banned myself from casinos  

Gaming simulates that anticipatory feeling too. I think that is why I enjoy public speaking cos I get that adrenaline rush (but without any loss of money/time). 

I wonder how @Cam Adair is doing? I heard he will be offline for a while

Thanks for reading. 

[-n.g-]

what is wrong with taking a power nap?  

 

 

[CG EYE]

It stuffs up my sleep later in the night! Lol

[CG EYE]

Day 18 and some old pogo friends messaged me to tell me that Niantic have released another "legendary" part of me wants to have a look but I realise that it's all much the same. Staying strong. Glad that there is this group.