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Life is a little bit better now. If you are searching for new activity try cycling. But beware! It's very addictive. 😎

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11 minutes ago, katsudo19 said:

Life is a little bit better now. If you are searching for new activity try cycling. But beware! It's very addictive. 😎

IMG_20190407_161735.jpg

IMG_20190407_161747-EFFECTS.jpg

IMG_20190409_105941.jpg

IMG_20190409_114905.jpg

IMG_20190409_120834.jpg

IMG_20190501_075425.jpg

IMG_20190512_153449 (1).jpg

IMG_20190512_153452.jpg

Wow thats looks beautifull man 😄 lovely nature, yeah cycling is very nice once you get startet. Dont stop even though the ass can get sore in the beginning if you are not used to cycling 😄 

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I had a lot of time to be with myself alone and think. WTF are you doing with your life? This question pop up in our heads very often.  I figure out some things. Stop being victim. Take extreme responsibilitty for yourself. It's easy to blame others people for our mistakes. You can blame everything you can imagine. But the truth is that only person responsible for you life is you! Ooohhh in that sentence its a lot of wisdom of course. But it means bullshit if you dont take action. You can have all wisdom in your head but if you dont take action you will slowly die within. The part of your soul will die. Action is more important than any other things. You are like those keyboard heroes who typing all day that they will change. But in real they will sit in the front of pc or tv and remain passive. 

Passivity is the cancer of the male soul. 

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There's no easy way. We want everything fast as possible with little price. All motivation and other bullshit summarized in one sentence: Do. Or do not. Less reading about topic of interest. More trying to build experience. Easy things but hard to master. 

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You can't buy happiness. You can have all things on the world but that don't make you happy and calm person. When you buy things which you need for your creativity it's okay I guess. But Macbook or Iphone doesn't mean that you will be 100% productive and disciplined person. Windows and Apple. This things are like the shovel. You can have both but you will use it on the same things. So be patient my friend. Be creative and do interesting things. 

 

 

Create Secure Protect Lead = Manhood

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I wrote article about gaming and send it into men online magazine. Editor accept it and gave me some tips to edit it. After editing he told me it will publish it. I'm curious about the response. I think I need to give back to all men and women some information about gaming disorder. When you imagine that almost all little boys have console or pc or even both. It's scary AF. Article is in my native language. The title of the article is  Playing Video Games?

 

Some highlights:

Playing video games can be a great experience. Problems arise when this activity gets out of control.

Why do people become addicted to playing video games? The virtual world meets certain needs. Video games are played for specific reasons. Offering temporary escape, they are social, you see your constant growth and challenge. (THX CAM)

Certainly this story will be familiar to you. You will get your first console or computer for Christmas or a birthday and find out that you can play video games. So far, I remember trying to turn on Super Mario Bros. It was something unreal. You can control the objects on the screen that you have in your power. An interactive world at home. I still remember vivid, happy, excited about the new experience. It was too good.

Gradually, one finds information as a gaming study, collaborates with psychologists and behavioral scientists dealing with human behavior. They use manipulative techniques such as creating a virtual "Skinner Box" based on BF Skinner's theory

 

Edited by Guest

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I was at store and bought some tools for my little dream. Learn to draw. This thing is in my head pretty long and I have desire to draw some cartoon jokes for a start. I try draw some things but it's awful. But that's okay. Because it's about learning curve and not perfectionism. I also find some books about drawing. So today I was at the city to buy some clothes and get some rest. I feel strange like impartial observer. I watched peope buying stuff, talking, drink coffee, laughing etc. As if I was all over it.  Then my mind started whispering. You are beta male. Bam. I heard this sentence like I heard music from radio. It's true. I gamed and procrastinate too much in my life that I forgot to take care about myself and my future, friends, etc. But there's bright side of this. I feel that I have bigger potential to do something like never before. And I will do it bro. 

Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every night, I can feel my leg... And my arm... even my fingers... The body I've lost... the comrades I've lost... won't stop hurting... It's like they're all still there. You feel it, too, don't you? I'm gonna make them give back our past!   Kazuhira Miller

 

Never ever give up. Step out of your comfort zone. Start attacking your fear. Show them how great you are!

 

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My article about gaming addiction is online. I'm pretty curious about reactions. I don't demozine games but pointing out, that can be good expercience for one and disaster for another. I spend a lot of time at work especially night shifts. It was little bit exhausting. I feel pretty calm but when I'm at work I feel little tension in my body. Maybe I hate that job. Yes I hate it. But I must hold on. At least next 6 months. It's good to have place where you can express yourself. It's gave you moments of clarity. 

I still have problems with finding friends. I need to go out often. Or maybe do some voluntary work? Will see. So my family especially grandma accuses me to be alone at my age without girlfriend. I want met one day my very best friend but I have that feeling if I'm not good enough. Who would want me? I feel I'm still that broken man who is trying to fix damage which made. Ooohhh. How much time wasted. It's a valuable lesson. You can cry dude. You must I think. If I fix myself, it will be the most powerful thing for my future as well. Don't blame other people, parents, government, space or whatever. You are responsible. Extreme responsible for yourself. That means you can change the way you spend your time. 

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I feel terrible. I failed too many times. I have big goals and dream but I procrastinate or do very little. I want to give up and forget everything. I dont feel empty but lonely. I want to do great things but I still procrastinate them. I'm still overweight.  I think my testosterone level is not very high. My social circle is zero. I dont want to cry here or beg for attention. Rather I want get all out of me. Just throw all burden away. I really like to help people. But when I want do something for myself It's pretty difficult. Sometimes I feel like spider glued to wall without movement. Scary AF. The world isn't all about flowers and rainbows. All of us survived something unreal what robbed us of everything. Almost. Hope is still there. We throw away time, opportunities, people, money, love, health. What a difficult lesson. I sat in the dark in front of computer seek virtual pleasure. Other people won and failed in real world and took experience. I cant cry. Emotions are stopped. Just a dull and rational forward look. Raw experience from real addict.  I totally understand addicted people. Sometimes I had dreams about gaming. Last dream was about playing some racing game on Playstation 1. Brain I trained you very well. 

 

It's not hell for me right now. I have a stable job and roof upon my head. You can see more smile on my face. I need to start again with clear shield. 

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On 6/23/2019 at 10:16 AM, katsudo19 said:

Ooohhh. How much time wasted. It's a valuable lesson. You can cry dude. You must I think. If I fix myself, it will be the most powerful thing for my future as well. Don't blame other people, parents, government, space or whatever. You are responsible. Extreme responsible for yourself. That means you can change the way you spend your time. 

I also used to have this hardcore attitude. I thought it's the only way to achieve great things. But it always lead me here, as you said:

 
 
1
3 hours ago, katsudo19 said:

I feel terrible. I failed too many times. I have big goals and dream but I procrastinate or do very little. I want to give up and forget everything. I dont feel empty but lonely. I want to do great things but I still procrastinate them. I'm still overweight.  I think my testosterone level is not very high. My social circle is zero

This loop is all too familiar to me. Except being overweight but hey don't you worry about my number of problems being too small. I'm starting to think a bit differently now and I think I'm really getting somewhere, mentally. Breaking out of that loop.

Are you gaming now by the way? 

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I'm not big fat guy. But I have bigger belly. This not helps me. I must get rid of excess fat. I developed emotional or rational or both block to games and game related content. Man on this I'm 100% percent guy. Games stole my soul. Never again. How did you manage breaking that loop? What helps you? @JustTom

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I'm going to cut off this journal. It feels like burden. I will see maybe I will start new fresh one in future. I need cut off little bit internet. Bye for now.

 

The End

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