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Hey,. I have been on gamequitters since around september, but kept saying I wanted to start next week with my journal, or tomorrow, which eventually became into not doing anything. My goal here is to write a journal and keep track of my goals. My primary goals is to be more outcoming and talk to people. I have stopped playing video games but I feel like that's all my friends talk about and I really want to do something else but can't seem to figure out what I can do instead. I think my main problem is that I focus alot on my past and how many bad choices I have made. I want to find some new activities I should try out, because I end up having alot of freetime that I feel like goes to waste.

 

DAY 1 - 

Time I woke up: 6.50 am

Time I went to sleep yesterday: 10pm 

 

Physical task: I went to the gym today and worked out for an hour and a half, so I feel alright about it.

Mental task: Today I will read a part of a book, it is about mental health, I also want to listen to a podcast and just lie down by myself.

Projects: I want to work towards my goals of summer. My plans so far are going to Portugal to meet some people I met in France during easter, and I am having a visit from Germany. I want to plan out what we are going to do in summer so I don't end up feeling like it just went by and I wasted my time.

 

 

Today was a pretty decent day. I woke up pretty early to have time for school, but I didn't sleep so well so I was kinda groggy and tired in the morning. At school today we had some issues with a project where some files wouldn't transfer from my iphone to the computer so I am sort of mad because of it but hope to let it go sooner or later. In resess I went to play pool with a guy in my class because he asked me if I wanted to, it was alright but really silent and we didn't talk. One of my friends had his birthday today so I just sent him a congratulations on facebook, I want to do something for him like arrange bowling or something like that with a group of people I've recently hung out with but need to find time for it.

 

 

What I am grateful for:

~ My supportive family, especially my sister, that has always been kind and caring for me.

~ Gamequitters

~ The fact that I am going to Portugal!

~ Tea, I love the taste of it.

Edited by ifyouknowyouknow
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Day 3. I notice I skipped day 2 it was really stressfull and didn't go the way i planned. I got invited to a concert by one of my friends and that was really awesome but it got in the way of my scheduele so I ended up coming home late and had to work on a school assignment. I was generally really tired.

Woke up 6.50 AM really tired since I couldn't get enough sleep, I belive I only slept 5 hours or so. Today I had a presentation in religion which went all right, but I feel like i should have put more effort into it and studied more beforehand. Actually this day was our last real schoolday. Next week got one exam and I'm off to summer in 2 weeks! I came home from school me and my mom went to a chiropractor to check on my shoulder alignment, I got some excercises to do so I hope to do these and make them a habit. In resess today I played pool again with some friends that I have made over the last 4 weeks and it was fun but I feel like I am very silent and not participating in conversations. I often feel like I have nothing to say and when I get the courage to say something the word comes out wrong and I feel stupid. Over the past year I have become really likeminded and I don't really listen to what others say, but my mind wanders off to some other thoughts, this is something I need to work on.

Today I will continue to read the book on mental health, it has some really good insights on how you should think of yourself. I need to see things in a bigger perspective. One bad day doesn't equal a bad life. I want to make a change with myself now, I don't want to think in 3 months that "what if I did this", I want to be grateful for my bravery of actually doing it, instead of thinking what I could have done. Today I will talk to a friend of mine in Portugal over messenger to plan out what we are gonna do in summer, so I actually took action and didn't skip it for tomorrow.

 

Goals for tomorrow:

  • Compliment at least 3 things that relate to other people

 

I am grateful for:

  • Realising I need to make a change
  • Living in a wealthy country so I have acess to food 
  • Good weather, this week has had alot of rain and I realise that I take good weather for granted.

 

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Day 7 - wow I have been good on procrastinating this journal.

Weekend recap: This weekend me and my mother went to the summer cabin. I went golfing on the driving range while she watched and talked to one of our neighbours. At night we watched Breaking Bad, a series I find interesting and that was all cool until it started raining like crazy and thundering outside. I realised I was really lucky to be able to be inside that evening.I have kept reading the book on mental health and it has given me more insights on how to see things from another perspective. At the gym I have lately been listening to the gamequitters podcasts. I especially liked the one about the universe throwing shit at you that you have to deal with, I feel like the world sometimes is against me, and throws bad shit and karma at me to see how I respond.

Today (Day 7) This day we had a pretty good day at school. We watched a movie since other students have exams, the movie was called crash, and was about racism in the US and how we judge people by first sight. It was a good movie overall, but nothing special really happened. In recess I went eating with someone I don't hang out with that much, we sat outside next to some other people i didn't know because it was good weather. The topic of the conversation was games and the new Xbox one X, I didn't feel like i could participate that much and sort of felt left out in the conversation. That's one thing I really need to work on, to talk and not just listen to the conversation. After school I went to the gym and had an awesome workout, I worked on my arms with weights and later ran in a threadmill group for half an hour. It was awesome to finish the workout, I feel so succesfull and positive because I went to do something rather than going home after a long day at school. I showered at the gym and came home to a delicious pasta salad with salmon that I ate while talking to my family. My father thinks I eat very little and overtrain. I have lately been trying to lose some weight, but it is hard to confess to my parents that I am not happy with my body and I feel like they don't understand.

 

Projects: I will set up a plan for the summer when I am having a visit from Germany. I will try to look trough the options of what we can do in Norway so that we don't end up being at home bored.

 

Goals for tomorrow:

Tomorrow we have free from school since other students have exams. I have no plans for tomorrow during school hours but I got invited to play bowling with a friend of mine in the evening, so I will look forward to it. When we meet up to play bowling I will be more entusiastic and active in the conversation.

 

I am grateful for:

Salmon, one of the most delicous foods of all time

Being invited to go bowling, it makes me feel appreciated

My phone, I don't know how I would keep track of time and schedules otherwise

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 15:

I realise I procrastinate alot on writing these daily journals.

This weekend I relapsed, I played for 1 hour with one of my friends. We played GTA V, and it was not even fun. I played because I sort of felt like I had to, since he has been asking me constantly to play, and I couldn't come up with another excuse.

Today was the 2nd last day before summer vacation starts. The class did a major cleaning of tables and chairs, which mostly sustained of stiff chewing gum, yuck! We also delivered our reading books so no more studying for me! During the recess I went eating outside in the good weather with two of my friends. One thing I notice about myself is that I am really quiet and laid back, I mostly listen to the conversation. I want to change this. I want to be able to speak out and say something funny or serious, and not just keep thoughts to myself. After school I went to the gym and worked out there, it felt pretty good afterwards but I have lately been thinking that I don't give enough effort into my workout, this is a mindset I need to shift, or else I am going to become negative all the time. I will go to bed at 10pm and read a little bit of the book "Divergent". My mother encouraged me to buy a book and I have been reading "Divergent" alot recently and it is a really good book and a good mental relaxation.

 

Projects:

I am still working on planning out the visit of my friend in Germany. This weekend I sat down and made the plan more narrow, but I still haven't figured it completely out. I need to sit down and actually do it, not just say I am going to do it tomorrow.

In summer I want to arrange a meet up with a group of friends where we go to an amusement park.

Goals for tomorrow:

Speak to people in school

Work on the visit plan for my friend in Germany

Pack my bag for a trip with my father this weekend

Compliment 3 different people tomorrow.

 

I am grateful for:

Summer

Tea

Books

 

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