Jump to content
Volpe

Captain's Log

Recommended Posts

Sorry, I couldn't understand.

xD I meant, that Bob is right. Just concentrate on the matter at hand - the Detox, and don't worry about the next step afterwards. Trust your future self to make the choice then.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's a good way of facing this, thank you all.

Day 19

Another day of opportunities, so I want to be sure to study a lot today. In personal life, things are hard. My date is dying (the relationship, not her), maybe we'll break up next weekend. We both are in doubt and the choice is very hard. I don't want to give her up and neither she wants. But in the other hand, she doesn't live me anymore and we are living like only friends or colleagues.

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm back. Below, I'm translating my journal from Portuguese to English. The original post can be accessed at https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/4137-pt-este-não-é-um-rpg/&tab=comments#comment-53792

I'm not going to translate the post before this because it'd be a lot of work. Summarising: I broke up with my ex, so my objectives in life got to be revised. I'm finishing my master's degree. I gave up in cutting game off my life during 2017, and gave little importance to it, but in the current month I started to play a lot and I'm in trouble with my essay, that needs completion until August. But this one, related to the day, is worth it.

--

Day 0

This is the day 0 because it's still a failed day, but today i've already done some changes. That, not since morning. I stayed in home, for being with a sore throath, and with a single objective, the same one I've been having in these last two months of my life: Write my essay, a little each day. And I didn't managed to do this today, and nothing more. I woke up with nasty intentions, so this day was also a failure in nofap and noporn. This occupied my day, together with gaming, from it to games and from games back to it. I skipped from on to another, and to web browsing as well. I enter in a cycle of multiple addicitons, what binds my harder. I spent more than two hours playing video games today. In the last week I spent 20 hours, and at the one before there were 14 hours of gaming only on my phone. Talking about this with a friend of mine, a realized that games were again part of the problem. What made me look at this with attention, and to check the hours in the Stay Focused app was this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEP1fZXie70

It's a video by hobedaga (@Hobedaga - thank you, afterall!) telling his story of addiction in games. I've always played video games, but I have never been deep inside in a MMO nor have played as many hours as maybe some of you count, but I've always spent much more time in content related to games (wikis, videos, ...). Watching his video, listening to how he anticipated a better life after gamequit made me consider the possibility of cutting it off again, at least for some time. Extreme decisions would also help me to leave PM aside, dedicating myself to what is under my responsabilities.

Tomorrow, after almost two weeks, I'll meet my advison once again. I really did little work, so I'm expecting a terrible encounter. He throws the truth in your face when he needs to do so, and I was sorta running away from this, due to my procrastination. Although, meeting him will help, at least to leaving inactivity.

One more thing, I'm in love with a girl I me recently, and I want to be a better person to meet her, not only a failed potential. It's awful to talk with her having to admit how much time I spend doing absolutely nothing useful, while she always seems so outgoing, hardworking and a joyful dreamer. This situation in which I am with my addictions, without any effort from myself created some distance between us, because I wouldn't try to talk again. I hope that from now on, a change of attitude will give me strength to, who knows, build a story besides her.

I have many things to do now, but I lack selfconfidence. At least I'm doing something to break the cycle that chains me, so I don't fall again in the escapism of gaming and PM.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a translation of mine. The

Day 6

Started again a few times, but this is already a good number by now. It's been almost a week since the beginning of this trial. An important thing to find out was that this is a 90-day-detox. If I want to, I can, after these 90 days, get back to play. This way, I don't feel that afraid with the idea, and it works. Now, I see my cravings as a bad thing, like a symptom. My days are improving right now, I'm living better. I'm using my paper journal more than this forum, but I'll keep in touch from time to time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Commit and don't settle. Once you finish 90 days then you can evaluate and change directions. Make it a hard line goal. Force yourself to fill time with ANYTHING else as a substitute. Be strong. You CAN do this. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 17

One more week passed by. And a great week. It's hard to want to play when do many good things are happening. The worst case is missing some aspects from some games. But I've been doing two things that aren't recommended: listening to game soundtracks and watching almost daily a specific funny commented gameplay video channel. This is also a hard habit to break. But I keep determined with my detox. I don't want to lose the good things, and I really don't have time to play video games.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 20 (translation from the Dia 20 at "Isto não é um RPG")

I'm still here. Sometimes when I think of playing again, the idea makes me feel afraid. I don't want gaming to take control of me someday. I think it's crucial for me to make his detox, since I don't want to risk the life I am achieving (and receiving as a present). In the day 18, saturday, though, I spent most of the day watching a friend of mine playing besides me. I refused the joystick, but I've lost time. I've wasted too much time and I haven't been able to keep up to my responsabilities and goals.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 34

This week I commented with a friend of mine about not playing anymore. The subject was: Loss of time. She told me that when she was younger, she used to play more often, and at some point, she figured out that that was only wasting her own life, when she could be dealing with things that really matter. This comes from a conscience of how our heart doesn't want little, but has a great desire! So, since then, she simply stopped playing, just like this. The same happened to tv series. Nowadays, she feels uneasy when she thinks that she's wasting time, desperately uncofortable. This is, for me, a quality. It helps us to value more our being.

I didn't talk about gaming with my girlfriend (I started dating her two weeks ago) yet because we really never got into this theme. She's never got a video game, and she's not into gaming. Her life was full of struggle, in not such an easy situation. This also attracts my admiration.

My essay is frustating me now. I have a too close deadline, and I can't count on my advisor anymore. so I'm all on my own. Procrastination still comes, but as Instagram, Youtube, news... That's bad, but not sick. Games haven't even got into my mind this week. I'm excited with this detox, and maybe it's the case to turn this into an 1-year-long-one.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...