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Captain's Log


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Captain's Log will be my translated topic from my journal, "Este não é um RPG" (this is not and RPG), that you can read in portuguese here: https://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/4137-pt-este-não-é-um-rpg/ I won't translate every entry, but I can do this sometimes so more people can come and read my progress.

Day 2

What a shit day. I woke up late for the Italian classes and stayed doing nothing. No games, no porn, no fap, the entire day, ok. Allright, very well. But "no anything" too! I passed my day with the computer. Went buy some breads on bycicle and that's it. I have an important test on next wednesday and I just wasted my entire day. Well, I need help. At minimum, I'm a little addicted on internet.

internet_vicio.gif

Edited by Guest
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I had experienced the same situation few days ago. At that moment I felt like crap.

This weekend, I've found useful ways to focus on what I should do(studying, specifically). It's simple. There are two things. The first thing is studying with someone else. It made me focused on subjects much longer. It helped me out a lot. It was a group project and I had to do something useful for the group. That's why I had tried really hard, I guess.

The second thing is changing the place where you're in. I used to study at home. It made me distracted often. I changed the place into cafe or school. I could focus more.

I won't tell that I'm always perfect. I sometimes can focus, and sometime can't. But I've been trying my best to keep going.

I believe you can find your own method to be productive. Just try anything that looks useful. We won't lose anything. I know that I would get depressed someday, but now I feel good. You will find some of your good days in the near future. I think patience is really important to our journey. Keep it up!:) We can't always have a perfect day.

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Day 3

Church day, and although my morning was too improductive, the day was good, majorly for the poeple that I met. I helped in a traditional church lunch, I read some ecclesial documents at afternoon (my reading, I need to increase my reading) and at night I talked a lot with a new friend. The day, in general, was good, but it still relects my difficulty in let go of my phone and computer sometimes. Unlike the games, I can't just turn them off. I solve lots of things on them, even useful things. Maybe something like Tom's Journal App would help me, though I don't like to control everything so hardly.

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You might want to check Rescue Time out. It is a software that runs on background and monitors what you do on your computer/smartphone. You get a nice report every week with details about your computer usage.

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Thank you, Reno! I'm using now 3 apps: Time Sense, HabitChamp and TimeStats Planner. I use Windows Phone, so the options aren't so diverse. But if anyone has any tip, please tell me! The first one record my phone using time, the second one is to record habits progression (like days without gaming - what I don't use, because this forum is enough - or days I slept more than 8 hours), and the third one is Pomodoro Timer and I record the time I spend in activities, majorly studying. Its calendar I don't use.

Installing an application in computers isn't the properly action, because I use different computers everyday in the labs, and since I'll try study more out of home, I'll spend my time mostly on computers in which I can't install anything.

Day 6

Different day, today I had a test. I battled so much, I studied a lot at monday and tuesday, and this satisfied intensively, I slept realized, I did my part. These days I arrived home too late to log in here. I followed the advice of spending more time in university, focusing my study there. I did my Analysis test today, and even if the results don't come that good, I'll be happy about the way I did it. Keeping me busy, knowing how to make strategies to be more productive helped me in not falling in temptation, avoid my addictions. Because even if I remained some hours unoccupied in the end of the day, I knew I deserved that. Now, it's time to seek regularity.

Personal life: The situation with my girlfriend is still hard to deal with, I don't have the same confidence yet on her feelings. She tells me that this problem is in her, and I accept waiting some time to see if this will be solved in her life.

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Day 9

"It's been a hard day's night..." Today woke up at the right time, and I'll keep this up. I went to Italian class, where we'll have a little TV news staging. At afternoon, I visited my girlfriend. This is where it is so hard. The relationship is becoming difficult. I gave her a letter with my feelings and a chocolate bar. It's been 2 hours since I left and I don't have any idea if she read it already. We spent like two hours wathing YouTube music videos, I coudn't deal with this and it made me upset. I tried to talk a little, telling about all the situation, and I said from my heart that I'm capable of suffering ofr her, for love. She said that she doesn't know if I should keep dating her. She is not whilling to break up, but she is strange. Three years and nine months... I left her house, and we are still boyfriend and girlfriend. I have a pain in my heart of this, but I can't give hope up, it was so right, so true. I arrived at home and spent these two hours on Facebook. This day is being really hard. 10 PM here.

Edit: She read. She cried, she is confused and sad, but decided to sleep. It hurts.

Edited by Guest
I called my girlfriend.
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Day 14

This week I haven't barely stopped, I'm getting too tired, few sleep, and I can't evaluate my progress so well. I am thinking some more about video games, even getting to think in the possibility of getting a mobile game in the future, but today I keep this objective, I keep my determination with the 90-day detox. I look forward getting the benefits of leaving it all behind. I started an important countdown: I will have, in this semester's eng, 5 very important tests in 7 weeks. that will define, together with a test in August, what will I do in the next year. I am a little anxious, but this is needed, it's an emergency to have my master degree. Today I met my girlfried while we came back home, and we walked together for 300 meters, after our hard days. It was only a 5 minutes walk, but I could hug her, have her presence, and some smiles. It was good in the middle of all this rush. This made me happy, made me feel well, diferently from the last times. Girl, you have been my oasis.

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Day 22

It's not even midday here right now, but I need to talk out. It's been hard to control myself with anything in this moment. This with nofapping, nogaming and noporn. I am quiteless. I have put everything I should study to pass this semester in the paper and... It's a lot of stuff, it's just too much. Starting is already that complicated, I could even study a little today, but with 0 production. Cool things happened this day, but today and yesterday I am trying to take a step that I need to take, and I can't move from my place.

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Shitty day. Almost failed on my day streak, didn't study ANYTHING, spent my hours dumbly. Life problems seem so bigger now.

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Day 23

Another bad day. And now I have this sequence of three days in which I'm not in trails. I have almost seen porn, I even saw some hot pics (no nudity), these days I am giving more space to the traps that lead me to fapping. Besides that, I had cravings to play, saw videos of trailers and gameplay. But most of my lost of time was in other things. Humor facebook pages (I can't even quit facebook because now I am responsible for a real-world-thing page), sports forum (that I only read) and listening to music. No study at all. Not even saw my girlfriend. I didn't play football/soccer, and I haven't been at festa junina (Brazilian midsummer-like Saint John traditional feast). I am not doing any of these things that I want to do, and this is a really big problem in my life. I have a lot of things to study. My plan for tomorrow was only studying 2 hours, because I wanted to dedicate time to the rest of my life. But now... I don't know what I want.

I installed Rescue Time. It seems like a not so good solution, because I can't have it on my Windows Phone.

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Hey Puckspock. I can empathize with your position. Even on days where I've been very good with the 90 day detox, I end up doing nothing that feels productive or fulfilling. I've found that how my day starts is usually how my day ends. You can build on hourly successes or you can just as easily let hourly failures bring you down. Today, I started out pretty strong, waking up at a decent time (for me), showering, and getting ready to face the day. That turned into me getting out of the house to have lunch and check on a couple of job applications. That turned into me getting a lot of groceries I desperately needed. That led to me reading something enjoyable and ending my day strong.

Perhaps a morning routine and/or schedule would help you get more out of your days. Keep up the good work with your detox!

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Hey Puckspock. I can empathize with your position. Even on days where I've been very good with the 90 day detox, I end up doing nothing that feels productive or fulfilling. I've found that how my day starts is usually how my day ends. You can build on hourly successes or you can just as easily let hourly failures bring you down. Today, I started out pretty strong, waking up at a decent time (for me), showering, and getting ready to face the day. That turned into me getting out of the house to have lunch and check on a couple of job applications. That turned into me getting a lot of groceries I desperately needed. That led to me reading something enjoyable and ending my day strong.

Perhaps a morning routine and/or schedule would help you get more out of your days. Keep up the good work with your detox!

Thank you guy/girl! I think this is working by now! So today I started well, in a slow pace, indeed, but stronger to face the study in the morning. So now I can call this a day! :D

Edited by Guest
Quoting
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Day 26

Since Sunday I am coming back to my tracks., Yesterday and today I managed to work hard on the studies. Only 9 days till the tests begin. This is a time of tension, total focus, although the responsabilities and things to do. It's enough to keep my eyes right in the goals, and I will avoid any fall.

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Thank you, Space!

Day 1

I failed. At everything. On this friday the things were ruined, I throwed my advances to outer space. I am counting from now, from today. I see more clearly that my lack of control is holistic. If I see porn, I fap, if I fap, I game, if I game, I see nudity, and upside down.

Today is going to be a good day, we will celebrate my grandma's birthday. Sadly, I'll have three days to recover all the lost study. It will be frenetic, hard, and maybe it's not possible anymore, maybe I just can't pass anymore. So my master degree is in danger. I expect come with good news at thursday.

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  • 5 weeks later...

Interestingly, today is 100th day without Steam. That's important because that was where I used to buy games. Compared to other people I know, I never bought a lot, and I paid attention to not buying to much, mainly when I didn't played the other games. There are 3 games, still, that I never played. Giving them up is a tough step. Now that my semester starts again, I will count once again. 07/29, my girlfriend' birthday, is the day one in this new counting.

Day 5

I had a class yesterday. I'll have two tests next week, about Real Analysis, on Monday and on Wednesday. My focus should be this by now. Today I'll have more classes and I'll probably be too tired to post. I am still struggling with my studies, I am too slow in answering exercises. I am discovering myself better: I have a love for teaching.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 18

I am really inactive here but I keep my commitment. Games have troubled me these days, because I was wasting time searching for gaming content. I need to change this in my behavior. In the other hand, I am getting used with the idea of keeping the detox for only 100 days and then ending it, allowing me to play at vacations. I want this recourse.

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