Abstaining from digital entertainment

[plum_chum]

I did one day but I ended up fucking it up. 

I think the solution could be getting a family member to keep my laptop away from me.

The big problem for me was: I hate real life, it's so boring, there's nothing I really want from it. So I used that rationalization to jerk off and watch 8+ hours of twitch/youtube. 

I also rationalize by saying to myself that I have no value because I am not a minority or a woman., so I don't belong in the real world anyway. 

I do go to the gym, and that is good. I started learning Python, but I am willing to quit if I need to get rid of the computer. Perhaps i'll try again tomorrow.

 

[Schwing]

Hey man. Is this your journal? Good start.

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. You fucked up today. And you probably will do it again. Each time you fall you get stronger though. I have tried about 50 million times to do nofap and failed but I am getting stronger each time!

Real life isn't boring mate. It's actually very fun. You have been addicted to the internet so your dopamine thresholds are going to be fucked for now. Don't give up and keep immersing yourself in the real world and trying new things. Soon our brain will rewire. You go to the gym and that is great. Exercise is actually highly addictive.

There has to be something you want from real life. What your former habits were doing was satisfying an emotional need that wasn't being satisfied by the real world. Keep pushing yourself into real life and you will find your purpose! Your purpose is not something rational; it is something you feel within yourself. Don't quit python just because it involves computers. Take some time away from it and come back when you have more control.

Right now I can tell you have a negative outlook on life. I was like that too. I had very poor self esteem. I am open to alternate political views to mine; but perhaps your view of yourself as a white male is detrimental to your progress? I am of a totally different perspective here so bear with me. Try looking at it this way: you want to be the best version of yourself- that is all. You don't compare yourself to others because the best version of yourself is subjective to who you are. Therefore as a white male you can still be the best version of yourself.

Hope this helps and keep at it

Edit: Also, I think the world is fucked too but in a different way. I don't agree with society as I do not think it is the natural way that humans should be. But there is nothing I can do about it even if I whip my cock out and run around the forest hunting dear with spear and sling in hand. I understand whatever I do there will be no change and humanity will most likely run itself into the ground in the distant future. But I do not stand idly by. Here is a quote by Edmund Burke:

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" 

Good and bad is subjective to your opinion but, if you believe in a good in this world, get busy doing it. Don't expect shit to change but just do it because you believe in it. Because if you stand by and do nothing you are just kidding yourself and everyone who shares your idea. I think society is fucked for sure! But I know that I can relieve the pain caused by the growth of modern civilisation and slavery to materialism by becoming the strongest version of myself so I can help others and also becoming an engineer so I can work for a better society (because lets face it- going into the woods isn't going to help anyone).

Edited March 15, 2017 by Schwing

[destoroyah]

I hate real life, it's so boring, there's nothing I really want from it.

You haven't learned to live. Some days I am thankful for every breath I can take. And there is nothing special. No girlfriends, no drugs, nothing that grants me pleasure... nothing, just me and the absence of a myriad of bad things that serve as a measure of how good my life is just by having food and a rooftop. And thrash metal.

I also rationalize by saying to myself that I have no value because I am not a minority or a woman., so I don't belong in the real world anyway.

Uh. Value? No one has value. Nothing has value. Value is just a concept we invented. You can put value into sand at the beach or your feces. I put value into every breath I take, that's a good start.

I do go to the gym, and that is good.

How do you know that that is good? Someone told you? Hehe, think about it.

 

Good luck on your path, I'll check up on you if I find the muse and time. 

 

Oh.. and also, pathways only exist because people walk. Without motion, there'd be no path. The absence of a decision is also a decision.

Edited March 15, 2017 by destoroyah