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Simms

The mountains are calling...

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Buddies wanna play Halo and I'm having trouble saying no. Already envisioning a beer fueled Friday night. Amazing how easy it is to rationalize behavior.

Managing your friends during this time is a huge part of your success. Stay focused bro, you're doing great.

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Day #16 - Tuesday

Had the first legit "rad" mood for a couple hours this morning at work. Just felt unstoppable. Crushed through a bunch of difficult work that had been building and creating stress through the building.

Had a boxing, circuit style fitness class over lunch. It's been on hiatus the past two weeks and my hope was the workouts would keep it from completely kicking my ass. - Not quite the case, but felt like I gave it a better effort than before we went into the break.

Still feeling good through the afternoon. Got more things done, in a good place moving forward with the week.

Went climbing after work and had an awful experience. It was super busy in the gym. I'm still fairly new to the area, so I jumped on a rope, easy 5.8 to warm up. Got about 3/4 of the way up and my GF and one of the staff are shouting at me, I look down and the staff half-heartedly yells "DON'T CLIMB ON THE ROPE NEXT TO ANOTHER CLIMBER WHEN THEY'RE LEADING." I look to my left at a guy hanging on the wall on a take, clearly leading, and give a thumbs up to the staffer. I've basically already passed the guy so he says don't worry about it.  My girlfriend being a decent human being tells them: Sorry, we didn't know. One of the bro's hanging out with the guy belaying replies: "Whatever, not our problem if he gets rocked when buddy takes a fall." Something just so utterly toolish and offensive she was speechless. I get down not knowing this and was gonna say something along the lines of "sorry" and they turn away and he starts doing superman push-ups against the wall... I turn away and sort of shrug it off as a wtf moment until I hear what they said to my GF... super unimpressed. For all they know we're new to the sport and they've just turned us off forever by being complete tools. My blood is boiling about it still, so had to vent. It's tough to "learn" something in a very negative way.

The odd thing is "mood-wise" I still feel good. - It took longer than I'd like during the rest of the climb to shake the negative vibes from the bro-patrol, but just looking inwards and spending time with the GF... it was a good day.

Read a lot about Zelda: Breath of the Wild today. - It's so weird to do this whole write-up about the important things in my day, then think about the time spent reading about videogame related stuff. It seems so out of place. Out of sync with life. - There's an idea there I want to explore more, just need to poke around the edges of it to find what exactly it is.

Gratitude journal

The staff member for teaching me more about the gym we frequent.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Fought my way up a tough 11b/c with a ton of takes on top-rope that I couldn't get 1/2 way up before starting all this. - Progress!

Workout/run

Boxing class

Climbing!

Meditation

5 minutes, breath awareness in the morning, might have helped contribute to the rad morning... hrrrrm.

Reading + taking notes

Not reading anything.

What went well today:

Had a solid 8 hours of productive work.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Pack lunch ahead of time.

Ended up wasting time on news sites again.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Got a week's vacation planned out in July. Would be nice if I've worked so hard from now until then that it's a well deserved "rest week"

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 1x climb

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 5 day streak

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

Get cost estimate for 11,000er guide. Boooooooooooooooooked. OMG.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts.

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Day #17 - Wednesday

Day went great til noon, then something just broke in my head. No matter what tricks, walks I took, music I put on, I couldn't get back on track. Shut things down at 4:30 even though I had tons of work left to do. Frustrated... normally this would result in heading straight home, firing up the Xbox and playing Halo until going to bed. It's only on reflection right now that I truly appreciate just how much taking that "option" away has improved my quality of life. Even with the afternoon of work basically a wash, I managed to follow through on some goals.

Stopped at the post office, picked up the 5kg bag of protein I'd ordered. If you've never seen a 5kg (11 pounds) sack of protein... it's big. Comically big. I'd just run out of unflavoured for my smoothies so the timing of it showing up was great.  Went over to Canadian Tire to buy some ice melt and an ice chopper to clear the driveway. Got home, played with the dogs, and got down to work. Clearing set ice from a driveway is an insane workout, and my shoulders already kill from boxing yesterday. An inner fire to get it done after losing the afternoon powered me though. The pups started picking up their feet it was so cold so I put them inside until I'd finished. Standing at the end of the driveway. Bare pavement on display gave me a great feeling of satisfaction. Went back to the house, grabbed the dogs and we did a loop around the neighbourhood.

Crushed my workout... had a smoothie, and now I'm reflecting here. For a day that easily could and probably would have been a trainwreck, I feel reinvigorated and ready to attack tomorrow.

Gratitude journal

The gamequitters community for providing a platform to reflect, share, and learn.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Making something good out of a day that had "nothing" written all over it.

Workout/run

Squat 5x5 - 140

Bench 5x5 - 120

Bent row 5x5 - 115

Snow shoveling!

Meditation

5 minutes, breath awareness just before writing all this. Mind was very scattered. Sometimes I think about meditation like a night of sleep where I've woken up a dozen times. instead of waking up, I note the general feeling of how much my mind wandered. Today, like many previous, it was a lot.

Reading + taking notes

Started listening to Words of Radiance again. - Might start a new book on the weekend, need to look at my options.

What went well today:

4 good hours of work.

Amazing afternoon

What I could have done to make my day better:

Pack lunch ahead of time.

Ended up wasting time on news sites again. - Come up with better strategies for when the day is getting away from me.

Misc thoughts and plans:

I feel strong again. Something is building. Stoking the fire

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 1x climb, 1x stronglifts

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 6 day streak

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

Get cost estimate for 11,000er guide. Dates set in stone. Sent my brother a text today to see if he wants to join our group.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts.

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Day #17 - Wednesday

Day went great til noon, then something just broke in my head. No matter what tricks, walks I took, music I put on, I couldn't get back on track. Shut things down at 4:30 even though I had tons of work left to do. Frustrated... normally this would result in heading straight home, firing up the Xbox and playing Halo until going to bed. It's only on reflection right now that I truly appreciate just how much taking that "option" away has improved my quality of life. Even with the afternoon of work basically a wash, I managed to follow through on some goals.

Stopped at the post office, picked up the 5kg bag of protein I'd ordered. If you've never seen a 5kg (11 pounds) sack of protein... it's big. Comically big. I'd just run out of unflavoured for my smoothies so the timing of it showing up was great.  Went over to Canadian Tire to buy some ice melt and an ice chopper to clear the driveway. Got home, played with the dogs, and got down to work. Clearing set ice from a driveway is an insane workout, and my shoulders already kill from boxing yesterday. An inner fire to get it done after losing the afternoon powered me though. The pups started picking up their feet it was so cold so I put them inside until I'd finished. Standing at the end of the driveway. Bare pavement on display gave me a great feeling of satisfaction. Went back to the house, grabbed the dogs and we did a loop around the neighbourhood.

Crushed my workout... had a smoothie, and now I'm reflecting here. For a day that easily could and probably would have been a trainwreck, I feel reinvigorated and ready to attack tomorrow.

KILLER response to the afternoon. Everyone should read what @Simms did here.  

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Day #18 - Thursday

Rough day. - Didn't get much accomplished at work. - Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing. Mindless surfing.

You get the idea.

Been reading a lot of journals and posts in general. -

A personal goal: I want to promote more inclusiveness and an openness of thought in my actions at GQ. Some of the existential posts I read make me feel unwelcome on the site. I happened to join up on the site around the same time as @SabreCat - here's a person who came right out and asked: "Is this a boy's club?" and bared some very personal parts of his soul. - He got passive aggressive'd by a veteran of this community and hasn't been back since.

I wrote just 2 days ago about how some guys in MY COMMUNITY made me feel like shit by acting like bros at the climbing wall. At the climbing wall I'm strong. In life I'm strong, and if I'd needed to, I'll tell those guys where they can fuck right off to. A big part of my growing up in life is coming terms to the fact that I'd rather grow community than tear it down. I don't need to tell off every jackass around me off. - To be honest, I'd rather engage with them, and maybe we can find some common ground. Maybe I can help them grow, maybe they're a diamond in the rough.

As there aren't all that many replies in the thread, I want to assure @Schwing and @WorkInProgress they aren't the focus of my ire. That being said, I'm not some bleeding liberal that wants to promote inclusiveness for the sake of inclusiveness. - I feel like gaming addiction transcends boundaries like politics. This is something that is literally fucking up my life. I don't want a single person that is actually looking for help, to not feel like they're welcome on the best resource that's available for even a single moment.

If the target of this whole spiel happens to read this... I challenge him to consider how he's contributing to building this community up. This whole place is an opportunity to become something better. It's not a straight line, but what happens when you wander so far from the path you can no longer see it at all?

My journal, my rant.

Gratitude journal

The iron. 200 lbs will always be 200 lbs.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Someone mistook me for a local today at the store... wait... I am a local. - /happy

Workout/run

Climbing - 1.5 hours

Meditation

N/A today

Reading + taking notes

Listened to some Words of Radiance. Couldn't focus today.

What went well today:

Very little.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Almost anything.

Misc thoughts and plans:

WTF happened between yesterday writing and today.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 2x climb, 1x stronglifts

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 7 day streak

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

Get cost estimate for 11,000er guide. Dates set in stone. Sent my brother a text today to see if he wants to join our group.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts.

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If I did scare sabre cat away; I never wanted to. I was just stating my opinion. If I was an arsehole then so be it. Arseholes are important to show you something about yourself. My ego may pie people off sometimes but it helps a lot of people too. I can only be myself I'm afraid. The way I help people is advice minus the sentiment.

Personally, I do not think Sabre cat was scared off. You can see that they made a post saying that they were grateful for the responses and that they are convinced now that GQ is a friendly environment.

Also, you cannot always hope for the perfect day! Some days you will just fuck up. The other day you broke all that ice and shit like superman, but today you fucked up a bit. It's all part of the balance of life. For your breath awareness meditation try and focus on your body as well as your breath. Focus on the way you make contact with the floor etc. and the areas of muscular tension in your body. Just get out of your brain and focus your energy.

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Day #19 - Friday

It's day 19 and I'm sick. - Spent much of the day reading about games from my past. It helped me pass the time. And that's time I'll never have back.

Gratitude journal

Henry Rollins

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

I did my workout. - I didn't want to. Would rather throw up and just lay around - but I did it.

Workout/run

Squats 5x5 - 145

OHP 5x5 - 85

Deadlifts 1x5 - 165

Meditation

N/A today

Reading + taking notes

N/A

What went well today:

I worked out. Doing up the charts of where I could be at the end of this IF I FOLLOW THROUGH helped motivate. I knew that getting off the rails today was 5 lbs I lose all the way down the line.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Not have had 2 beers yesterday. Only made today worse.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Is there a 20 day flu in this program? I'm not the first person I've noticed to get sick around this time.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 2x climb, 1x stronglifts

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 7 day streak

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

Get cost estimate for 11,000er guide. Dates set in stone. Sent my brother a text today to see if he wants to join our group.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts.

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Day #20 - Saturday

Another quick update. - Still sick - Spent the day mostly in bed watching TV.

Gratitude journal

General healthy life. - Moments when I'm not healthy remind me how good things are when I am.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Move my car before the GF got home. The little things...

Workout/run

Rest day

Meditation

N/A today

Reading + taking notes

N/A

What went well today:

Sleeping

What I could have done to make my day better:

Be more kind to my poor body.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Need to get into work tomorrow. - Need to have a better march.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 2x climb, 2x stronglifts

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 10 day streak

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts.

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

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Day #21 - Sunday

3 weeks deep. Big changes in physical activity levels. - On the upswing instead of thinking every day about how I'm losing fitness.

I want to have a work week to blow the doors off. - Need to get some projects moved along that are lagging a bit. Focus of next week will be work, need to plan fitness around that and then plan a sanity break on the weekend. It means a double Tuesday, but I think that works.

Monday - Stronglifts

Tuesday - Boxing - Climbing

Wednesday - Stronglifts

Thursday - Climbing

Friday - Stronglifts

Saturday - Rest

Sunday - Climb

Can do this. - This is a reasonable plan. - Checkin with it each day.

Gratitude journal

The weather for turning back towards warm. I don't like the cold.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Cleared the snow off the walk. The sun baking in the coming week will make it perfect.

Workout/run

Squats 5x5 - 150

Bench 5x5 - 125

Bent Row 5x5 - 120

Climbing Class

Meditation

N/A today

Reading + taking notes

N/A

What went well today:

Sleeping - Chores

What I could have done to make my day better:

Get more sleep tonight - Get to bed early.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Didn't get into work. Now I'm stressed I'm behind and that's going to build. - One workout planned for tomorrow to relieve stress there. - Goal is to have a good day, get that stress level down and set the rest of the week up for success. Sleep well, recover well, be well.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 3x climb, 3x stronglifts

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 11 day streak

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts.

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

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Day #22 - Monday

Had a terrible nights sleep. Forced myself out of bed and got into work. - Had a pretty good day. Afraid I'm going to burn out this week with the ambitious activity schedule and the hot start out of the gates. Going to take a lot of focus and shaping the path to make it work.

Started chipping away at all the ice around the sidewalk with the nice day we're having. Hope the week continues like the forecast says and I can get it down to bare pavement.

Left my phone in the car today to cut down on distractions at work. It helped about 75%. Still wasted a solid hour with mindless browsing, but that's way down from Friday's like.. 3 hours. - Craving Zelda Breath of the Wild pretty bad. - I feel like it'll never go away. Confession time: Spent a lot of time over the weekend reading about Magic The Gathering. - I haven't played the game in over 10 years... just craving some mindless thing with depth. Started reading articles... watching youtube. WTF brain.

Monday - Stronglifts - Check

Tuesday - Boxing - Climbing

Wednesday - Stronglifts

Thursday - Climbing

Friday - Stronglifts

Saturday - Rest

Sunday - Climb

Gratitude journal

Yesterday me for packing a lunch, making this plan, and making the right choice with the day.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

The work I didn't do Sunday I got done today, and then I got ahead a little bit. Still behind where I want to be in the week, but I can see getting there tomorrow. Then I'm back on track and can get a little ahead... Having the rest day planned for Saturday gives me something to look forward to. I can spend the day reading... books... watching tv. Whatever I want guilt free. - Do plan to go visit a co-worker and meet her new puppy! Taking my white dog over to socialize, fun !!

Workout/run

Squats 5x5 - 155

OHP 5x5 - 90

Deadlift 1x5 - 175

Meditation

I think I'm done with meditation. - some days I love it, most I hate it... not feeling the positive.

Reading + taking notes

Reading on hold this week, too much to do.

What went well today:

Work. Following through.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Not a lot... well done day!

Misc thoughts and plans:

Keep it up - stay engaged this week. - One of the most difficult weeks I'm going to have - Rough weekend leads to challenging week. Have a reason to look forward to the weekend. Don't waste a day.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 1x stronglifts

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 12 day streak

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

 

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I've been enjoying reading the high-lights of your mountain climbing training. It reminds me of an article my dad once told me about. It was a guy named Trigger Twigg who was training out of his tent in Alaska. His goal was to climb Mt. McKinley's North Wall during winter. A feat, "so audacious that the National Park Service's Web site characterizes it as "bordering on the ridiculous because of its unfathomable risks."

One of his credentials on his business card reads: "alligator circumcision by appointment only." When questioned about his unorthodox training methods (separate from the circumcision bit, of course), he responded, "I make myself harsh every day," with a sufficient number of expletives as well.

More and more your training and unrelenting attitude are reminding me of him.

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Day #23 - Tuesday

Another rough night sleeping. The aches and pains have been accumulating and I think they're have an effect.

Good day at work. Basically just left... late night. - Took two good breaks for exercise.

Did very little mindless surfing today. - Forgot to leave my phone in the car. - Turned it off and left it in my jacket. I like leaving it in the car more, just removes the willpower factor, one less thing to think about.

Monday - Stronglifts - Check

Tuesday - Boxing - Climbing - Check and Check. - Hardest day of the week right here

Wednesday - Stronglifts

Thursday - Climbing

Friday - Stronglifts

Saturday - Rest

Sunday - Climb

Gratitude journal

Past me for helping future me all this week. - Putting out clothes and making lunch decisions ahead of time is a big help.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Checked in with my dad about our trip. He's very excited, going to be great!

Workout/run

Boxing Class.

1.5 hours climbing.

Meditation

I think I'm done with meditation. - some days I love it, most I hate it... not feeling the positive.

Reading + taking notes

Reading on hold this week, too much to do.

What went well today:

Made it through a really tough day.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Spend some time helping tomorrow me... still a little time left.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Nothing for today lol

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 1x stronglifts - 1x climb

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 13 day streak

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

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Day #24 - Wednesday

Had my phone and it resulted in some mindless surfing. Time for another day in the car? I think so...

Through the mindless surfing I came across a post my uncle made about addiction. - He was an alcoholic and worse for many years and has been sober for well over 20 now.  He NEVER imbibes. To the point he got upset, very upset, when there was some cooking wine in a dish he tasted. - The smallest things, he knows where it can lead and has made the commitment to himself not to walk that road.

I'm starting to realize just what a battle addiction is. - This isn't something to "cut back on", or revisit in 90 days. This is a choice, between one life, or another.

 

Monday - Stronglifts - Check

Tuesday - Boxing - Climbing - Check and Check. - Hardest day of the week right here

Wednesday - Stronglifts Check

Thursday - Climbing

Friday - Stronglifts

Saturday - Rest

Sunday - Climb

Gratitude journal

My parents for never giving up on me. - It wasn't a straight path to where I am today, and I wouldn't have made it without 2nd... and 3rd chances. And their continued support to this day.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

GF took the dogs to work, so I walked over and said hello! I think it helped them acclimatize. Now they think... ohhh when someone comes in, it might be him!

Workout/run

Squats 5x5 - 160

Bench 5x5 - 130

Bent Rows 5x5 - 125

Reading + taking notes

Reading on hold this week, too much to do.

What went well today:

Good work. Good reflection. Good walk.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Shouldn't have eaten a whole bag of M&M's. A big bag. Eep.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Sleep better!

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 2x stronglifts - 1x climb

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 14 day streak - Starting to see some trends. - Scary part is I may be downsloping - so... effort to rise above?

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

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Day #25 - Thursday

Last night I started talking to my GF about @Mhyrion's experience with a 30 hour relapse and how it's a reminder of how gaming can takeover your life. How dangerous I feel it is to me, and I told her about my uncle's addiction post and how I think gaming is as bad as heroin. She was dismissive of it and said something along the line's of "It's nowhere near as bad as heroin, why don't you just setup specific times to play with your friends and only play then? I've seen you do it before with other things." Needless to see I didn't react well and we had some angry words...

Once we'd settled down I realized I haven't shared much, if anything of this journey with her. I realized what set me off is her complete dismissal of my position because of the way I'd presented it. Heroin is too strong a hyperbole for life destroying, but as I thought about it more I wasn't willing to give it up. 

I want to shift things over to alcohol - I had issues with it when I was younger. Issues so bad I quit drinking completely for a year. - I've since made the decision to drink responsibly - but in 2016 I didn't drink at all just for fitness reasons and it was no issue. - The thing about alcoholism is it's manageable... until it's not. Then it messes up your life and things can get really, really bad.

I think the issue with gaming addiction is, at a low level it ruins your life slowly but taking up all your time, and focused energy. But it never creates a "rock bottom" that pushes a call to action. - Being unemployed and living in your parents basement sucks... but it's not the kind of existence threatening problem that creates bold reasons to change. In a way, it wasn't until I faced my issues with liquor that I realized I had issues with my life and identity. Gaming was never a big enough threat to warrant exterminating... yet here it is, constantly wasting my time and my life.

I had trouble with mindless surfing today. - Pretty much a wasted day at work which is creating stress for me. I worked so hard Monday / Tuesday - Did ok Wednesday and now wasted Thursday. I'm going to have to work Saturday to stay on top of my projects and it sucks... Sometimes I wish I'd never heard of the internet.

Spent time reading about Magic again. - Dangerous cravings. - I need an outlet for downtime that is "passive but engaging..." reading is too much energy. TV is too mindless. Is napping a hobby?

Monday - Stronglifts - Check

Tuesday - Boxing - Climbing - Check and Check. - Hardest day of the week right here

Wednesday - Stronglifts Check

Thursday - Climbing Check

Friday - Stronglifts

Saturday - Rest

Sunday - Climb

Gratitude journal

My firm for hosting a wonderful farewell lunch for an ex-employee. - It's nice to see how we value our people.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Friend reached out - Him and his wife are going to come stay with us next week and we're going skiing! Wooo.

Workout/run

Climbing 1.5x hours. - Working the 5.12a - Can get about 1/4 of the way up... progress? :)

Reading + taking notes

Reading on hold this week, too much to do.

What went well today:

Climbing, setting things up with friend. Reflections.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Throw my damn phone in a pond.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Figure out something to do when I'm feeling bored... I hear Cam has some resources. - Look into it.

Read a lot about the crossfit games. Might enter those next year, - my mom is doing it this year in the master's category and is having a great time.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 2x stronglifts - 2x climb

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 15 day streak - Wow... knew I was downsloping today - forgot to strategize and got destroyed. - Lesson there.

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

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I can highly recommend sharing your journal with the GF. My hubby reads mine and it leads to a lot of understanding. I don't think he'll ever grasp how I keep going back to games, but he sees my struggle (it's real) and we can connect about it.

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My boyfriend does not read my journal and was not interested in reading it when I showed it to him. Though I wish he wanted to. A small part of me thinks that it could be his own way of deflecting and avoiding thinking critically about how he spends his own time, but I am probably projecting.

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Thank you both for the perspective. It seems like partners struggle with wrapping their heads around gaming as a problem in many different ways.

I think I'll show her where it is and tell her I'm open to her having a look at it and see where things go.

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Day #26 - Friday

Made it through a difficult week.  Had a super strong day at work today. - Going to get in tomorrow and get a headstart on next week! Feels good to be on the brink of being ahead of the game.  The Sunday planning for the week paid off big-time.

@Mhyrion and @Shine Magical provided a great conversation starter above for talking to my GF about journaling and what kind of support I want to ask for. I really appreciate hearing how their significant others are handling their journeys. From the reading I've done in @d1rtydeedz's journal, his wife is supportive, if a little confused by the issue. That's where I feel I'm at. My social circle is smaller than it was when I was younger, part of that being spending most of my time with my GF. - Making her an adversary in this is not good for either of us.

Need to get the house in order for my folks coming to visit briefly tomorrow. - After, going to enjoy a well deserved beer, watch an episode of The Expanse and head to bed!

 

Monday - Stronglifts - Check

Tuesday - Boxing - Climbing - Check and Check. - Hardest day of the week right here

Wednesday - Stronglifts Check

Thursday - Climbing Check

Friday - Stronglifts Check

Saturday - Rest

Sunday - Climb

Gratitude journal

The world for a beautiful, crisp, sunny day today!

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Realized I'd crushed my weekly goal. - So often it's easy to come up with a plan late on a "Sunday" for the week ahead... and when Monday hits, throw it all away. - Building good on top of good.

Workout/run

Squat 5x5 - 160

OHP 5x5 - 95

Deadlift 1x5 - 185

Reading + taking notes

Listened to 2 chapters of Words of Radiance

What went well today:

Work!

What I could have done to make my day better:

Gotten the chores out of the way earlier.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Figure out something to do when I'm feeling bored... I hear Cam has some resources. - Look into it. - Keeping this here until I do it...

Crossfit looks more and more like it might be something I'd have fun doing... When my total was above 800 it was so trendy to make fun of Crossfit, I've never considered actually doing it... adding tracking and competition to weightlifting... it's all things I like doing.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 3x stronglifts - 2x climb **First time I'm done my goal for the week by Friday!!**

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 16 day streak - Back to feeling good.

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

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Day #27 - Saturday

Very quick post. - Rest day - Did blessedly little. Watched a lot of TV. Felt good for doing well through a tough week.

Played with a friends new puppy! Yayyyy puppies are the greatest.

 

Monday - Stronglifts - Check

Tuesday - Boxing - Climbing - Check and Check. - Hardest day of the week right here

Wednesday - Stronglifts Check

Thursday - Climbing Check

Friday - Stronglifts Check

Saturday - Rest Check

Sunday - Climb

Gratitude journal

Puppies. For being boundless balls of energy and joy.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Played with a puppy. :)

Workout/run

Rest day!

Reading + taking notes

Nada

What went well today:

Relaxing, watching The Expanse. Watching Hockey.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Could have gone to work. Maybe tomorrow.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Figure out something to do when I'm feeling bored... I hear Cam has some resources. - Look into it. - Keeping this here until I do it...

Crossfit looks more and more like it might be something I'd have fun doing... When my total was above 800 it was so trendy to make fun of Crossfit, I've never considered actually doing it... adding tracking and competition to weightlifting... it's all things I like doing.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 3x stronglifts - 2x climb **First time I'm done my goal for the week by Friday!!**

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 16 day streak - Back to feeling good.

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

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Day #28 - Sunday

Another very quick post. - Had some drinks last night while watching the game and I feel terrible today. - May be time to just cut it out of my life again too. Not worth the physiological pain the next day. Feel sick.

Wasted most of the day watching The Expanse, then youtube. Not a great day.

Climbing went well this evening. Managed to redpoint a 5.11c.

Thus ends one helluva week. More of a whimper than a bang, but on reflection, accomplished all my personal goals.

Monday - Stronglifts - Check

Tuesday - Boxing - Climbing - Check and Check. - Hardest day of the week right here

Wednesday - Stronglifts Check

Thursday - Climbing Check

Friday - Stronglifts Check

Saturday - Rest Check

Sunday - Climb Check

Gratitude journal

Climbing for being amazing.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Redpointed the hardest route I've achieved so far since getting back into shape / quitting gaming.

Workout/run

Climbing - 2.5 hours.

Reading + taking notes

Nada

What went well today:

Relaxing, watching The Expanse. Climbing, getting grocery shopping done.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Made lunch for tomorrow. - Come up with an action plan for next week. - Going to follow the same as this, but need to be cognizant of friends coming for the weekend.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Wasted too much of the weekend.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 3x stronglifts - 3x climb - I've managed to achieve and exceed this goal every week so far. - Feels good.

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 17 day streak - Back to feeling good.

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

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Day #29 - Monday

Worked a long day, felt pretty good.

Some mindless surfing when I got home. Not so good.

Read about some climbing drama... the prince and princess of Colorado climbing got divorced and they've been subtly jabbing at each other through social media... until today when the prince went way overboard. Full expose airing all their dirty laundry coming soon on climbing.com via James Lucas? So fascinating. So much pain. Would not want to go through a messy breakup in the social media age.

Was thinking about how I take things to the next level. Work and Working out have been good. But they're nothing new. - I think using the rest of the 90 day detox to stabilize those good influences is a strong idea, then working on the remaining bad habits that are creeping in to occupy newfound free time. Feels like the 80/20 rule... I've done 80% by eliminating videogames and focusing on healthy areas of my life, but it'll take at least as much work to stamp out the 20% that needs the detail work... and that's my biggest weakness, the fine detail work.
 

Gratitude journal

The partner I've been doing a lot of new work for. Her commitment to being flexible with learning styles and being patient with my broad strokes view of completing work when she's super detail oriented has made me want to step up my detail work.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Got a lot of work complete when I thought I was going to get super stressed out this afternoon. Managed to reign it in and refocus... calmed the waters.

Workout/run

Squats 5x5 - 170

Bench 5x5 - 135

Bent Row 5x5 - 130

Reading + taking notes

Nada

What went well today:

Work, workout.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Got chores done earlier. - No mindless surfing.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Made a good showing of a day that could have gone off the rails. Keep it up through the week!

Haven't even been looking at my monthly and 3-month goals. Need to think about that when I'm mindlessly surfing. I'm running out of time each day and that time I'm wasting could be used to read this and contemplate.

Re-read old journal posts... coming up on 30 days, time to reflect.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 1x stronglifts

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 19 day streak - Back to feeling good.

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

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Day #30 - Tuesday

1/3 of the way through this detox. Amazing progress so far. - Rough it's the busiest time of the year at work. I'm enjoying the challenge for the most part.

For @Schwing, when I say "detail work" I mean the fussy difficult details in a report. I can throw together a 20 page report inside 2 hours. But making sure all the embedded excel cells are the right size, the dollar signs are perfectly aligned, capitalization of every account is correct. Those are the detail pieces down below the broad strokes that I struggle with. It frustrates me to fail at it over and over again. But seeing a finished product with all of these things properly taken care of, and the quality that inspires has helped motivate me to be better.

Work went well. very little wasted time on mindless surfing. - Boxing was exhausting today. Both me and the GF are feeling run down so we took the afternoon off climbing.

Gratitude journal

GF for pushing to get our taxes done. All filed and out the door.

One amazing thing that happened/I did today

Filed the yearly T1. =p

Workout/run

Boxing class!

Reading + taking notes

Nada

What went well today:

Boxing - Chatting, playing with the dogs.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Gone for a walk when I was struggling in my head.

Misc thoughts and plans:

Made a good showing of a day that could have gone off the rails... agaiN! Keep it up through the week!

Haven't even been looking at my monthly and 3-month goals. Need to think about that when I'm mindlessly surfing. I'm running out of time each day and that time I'm wasting could be used to read this and contemplate.

Plan of action for Sunday: Re-read old journal posts... time to reflect.

******************************************************************************************************************

Weekly Goal(s) - Monday start

Climb 2x, Stronglifts 3x - So far 1x stronglifts

Journal daily - So far, so good.

Track mood daily at least twice on Daylio: So far - 20 day streak - Back to feeling good.

Monthly Goal

Information gathering on buying a mountain bike. - Visit the bike shops in town. Friends gonna let me know when the first Demo days start up.

Use Training for the New Alpinism to assist in shaping training plan. Got the book on my nightstand.  It's screaming to be used.

NEW - Work hard to the end of April. - Be proud of what I've accomplished.

3 Month Goal

Top-rope a 5.12a successfully on the tall wall. Found a suitable project Sunday... will it be up long enough. /sigh

NEW - Be in excellent condition for June mountain trip.

Climb 1x technical, 1x non-technical 11,000er in the Canadian Rockies. May need to bump part of this out to 6 months.

Outline novel. Chunking this. Creating manageable pieces relating to it in my weekly goals. - May need to evaluate if novel work is realistic with work and physical committments.

Do an editing pass of one of my shorts. Dropping these two as not in line with my current goals and commitment level. To revisit later.

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