Tatu92 Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Nice journal you got here, keep up the academic work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reno F Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 (edited) Whether you can or not, only you can decide Edited October 26, 2016 by Reno F spelling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiki Posted October 27, 2016 Author Share Posted October 27, 2016 Day 17I have strong cravings today orz. I wanted to play a pet simulation game which I used to playing before quitting so badly and I used this reason to procrastinate on everything omg I just watched youtube and animation all the day. Fortunately i still didn't relapse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Streuselsturm Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Dont feel bad about it. You already got 17 days behind you. We all have our weak moments. You did not relapse that is something to be proud of! Now look inside yourself and think about what else you can be proud of (hint you continued your journal for example )You are doing great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yellow Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Day 17I have strong cravings today orz. I wanted to play a pet simulation game which I used to playing before quitting so badly and I used this reason to procrastinate on everything omg I just watched youtube and animation all the day. Fortunately i still didn't relapse.So glad that you kept on going and read your progress now I am back again! Every time I have urges or I procrastinate, I acknowledge them (just as you did in your journal) and it helps me realize what I am doing. I am sure you will get over the urges and procrastinations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiki Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 (edited) Thank you Lukas and yellow! I am lucky to be with this community otherwise I could not overcome the cravings so easily!Day 18~19I went to work in a exhibition. It's tedious and boring. I stopped thinking anything as I was tird after working for 11 hours.arh Edited October 28, 2016 by Kiki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiki Posted October 29, 2016 Author Share Posted October 29, 2016 Day 20I dreamed of myself playing video games and I even realised I relapsed in the dream lol. I forgot what I had played in the dream. Maybe it's because I watched anime right before sleep. I read and practised piano a bit today. I don't want to do anything orz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Streuselsturm Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Hey Kiki,the dreaming about playing games is absolutely normal, I have those too. Itsa little strange when you realise inside your dream that you are doing something wrong and feel bad just to wake up and be reliefed. Take it with some humor if possible everythin g is possible in dreams - its the dreams and visons you have for your future that count,My personal advice - dont watch youtube or anime the last hour before you go to sleep. It messes with the sleep cycle and I think healthy sleep is very important for you especially since you often work into the night... http://www.businessinsider.de/dont-check-your-smartphone-before-bed-2016-3?r=US&IR=TI try to do some very easy exercises before I go sleeping like really very simple breathing or just relaxing techniques. Its also a good idea to go through the day and just take a minute to think about what you have achived and want to achive in the future. (remember to be proud of not gaming every day) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Pharmacist Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Day 20I dreamed of myself playing video games and I even realised I relapsed in the dream lol.I can relate to this.It happened couple of times in my life, especially in the beginning of each detox. Sometimes it can be so real, that you're able to just go back and relapse in real life.But don't be just discouraged by that. This sign means you're doing great!Greetings, Mad Pharmacist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiki Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 Thank you your suggestion lukas! I should try doing something besides using my phone before sleep... Thanks mad scientist! I won't let my bad dream come true for sure!Day 21Finally exam tmr. I don't want to suffer aymore ughToday I went to the birthday party of my brother's friend haha. He is a artistic child and he is good at drawing. Even during the party, he is still drawing something. I think I should work harder too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Good luck on your exam! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reno F Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 The relapse dreams. They always come, sooner or later. How interesting.Good luck on your exam, Kiki! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiki Posted October 31, 2016 Author Share Posted October 31, 2016 Day22ah I dont want to comment on my exam orzMy projects are posted here. I don't think they are something I can be proud of but maybe I should acknowledge my efforts spent on it??My Secondary school are asking me to apply for the scholarship as I achieve satisfying results in the public exam. But how should I tell them I refuse to being admitted to Chinese medicine university and choose an art school instead?? My friend scolded me when I told them how many marks I got from the public exam and they told me I were wasting money and time on this art school lol. By far I had learnt nothing from the prof and I am practicing all by myself. I also couldn't think of any jobs that I can apply for after graduation besides jobs related to game design. I don't know whether I have chosen the right path.(Working on progress) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Streuselsturm Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 The pics are all beautifull and I mean it. I know as the drawer you have a very subjectiv point of view and being self critical is an important skill but I really cant stresss enough that you should be proud of yourself and of the creative work you do! This was time you invested into something time you would have otherwise wasted on videogames or browsing it was your time and you used it for something good. Take it easy kiki, I knok there is a ton of stuff for you on the horizont and I know that taking a job later is hard but opportunity is always there. Heck my father never finished his studies and yet build a company pretty much by his own. Try to go easy on yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul A. Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 @KikiYour drawing is amazing, honest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorkInProgress Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Your pics are really cool. I don't know how much an art school will improve your drwaing skills but I am sure they learn some techniques and give you another perspective on how to draw. If you are worried about jobs I would advice you to try to get also into digital drawing. Not really my expertise but I am pretty sure that if you are able to draw really nice stuff n paper and design things on the computer also there are a lot of jobs out there.https://www.totaljobs.com/careers-advice/job-profile/media-jobs/graphic-designer-job-description Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiki Posted November 1, 2016 Author Share Posted November 1, 2016 (edited) Thanks everyone! I felt better now! @WorkInProgress I also did digital drawing! In fact I didn't use traditional media at all before having my foundation classes at college! I didn't take visual art as an elective when I was high school and I wasn't familiar with traditional media. The pictures I posted was my projects at college haha. Maybe I will post some here later! Thankyou for your suggestion! What i was looking for is jobs related to animation/sequential art/illustration/game design rather than pure design. But still thank you!Lukas I definitely agree that spending time on drawing is a lot more meaningful to gaming hahaDay 23 Waking up at 6 with lack of sleep to go to school, I suddenly had a feeling of depression and I thought I was unfortunate to have to wake up so early lol. However, something strange happened. When I was listening the song that has identical name to my journal (coldplay- army of one) , I somehow regard the 'you' in the lyrics as god (I am a Christian) and I thought all I was doing currently is for his sake. I dont know what kind of jobs I can apply for in the future but at least I can be a picture book artist and draw for god.And it also remind me of the priest in my high school saying that the mission or suffer we are currently bearing is definitely bearable as god has already thought it over before giving us anything. I nearly bursted into tears on the bus while thinking about these. So at now I decided to start a 30 days challenge to sleep before 11 and wake up before 6 everyday. I was inivited by a friend to do so.I think it will be beneficial to me to achieve my goal. Today when I wrote this is day 1 now and I was energetic and happy. I arrived school at 6:55am with a class at 3 pm hahahaa.Here are some of the lyrics in the song:Been around the worldThe wonders to viewBeen around the worldLooking for someone like youPyramids tryBabylon tooBut the beautifullest treasures lie in the deepest blueSo I never say dieAim never untrueI’m never so high as when I’m with youAnd there isn’t a fire that I wouldn’t walk throughMy army of one is gonna fight for you Edited November 1, 2016 by Kiki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tatu92 Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 giving my support kiki!i'm not religious myself, but my father is very religious. and I've learned to respect him and his belief, because he's found inner peace. and i also love anime! Just finished watchin RE:zero.Kind regards,T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiki Posted November 3, 2016 Author Share Posted November 3, 2016 Hi T! Thank you for your support! I want to watch re:zero too and I will probably watch it when I have time hahaDay 24Project finished! As I waked up super early and I went to school for working on the project so I was very productive! I avoid mindless browsing all the day and finished the project on time. However I still stayed up late until 3am so the 30 days challenge will be reset. Also I have to stay up to 1am for registering classes so the challenge will be started on Friday I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tatu92 Posted November 3, 2016 Share Posted November 3, 2016 Omg this one's awesome. good job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiki Posted November 3, 2016 Author Share Posted November 3, 2016 Day 25Today my prof praised my work hahaha and I had lunch at the restaurant where I worked in durng summer holiday. I was very grateful as this was the first part-time job in my life and they were very nice to me. Today was not very effective as I slept in the afternoon and do nothing lol. But that's ok otherwise I would get sick after staying up late. Grateful things: Skype with my accountability partner! Yay! He is super nice and he becomes one of my boy god ! Yay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorkInProgress Posted November 4, 2016 Share Posted November 4, 2016 So you seem to have a pretty good plan. That's great. I also can nearly smell the Smog of a chinese city in your picture Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Streuselsturm Posted November 4, 2016 Share Posted November 4, 2016 Oh my Day 25 already! Thats great! I showed my wife your drawings and she was seriously amazed. If its ok I will show them to my mother too (she is an art teacher) Keep going Kiki! And congrats on the praising you totaly deserve it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted November 4, 2016 Share Posted November 4, 2016 Day 25Today my prof praised my work hahaha and I had lunch at the restaurant where I worked in durng summer holiday. I was very grateful as this was the first part-time job in my life and they were very nice to me. Today was not very effective as I slept in the afternoon and do nothing lol. But that's ok otherwise I would get sick after staying up late. Grateful things: Skype with my accountability partner! Yay! He is super nice and he becomes one of my boy god ! Yay!Way to go!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiki Posted November 4, 2016 Author Share Posted November 4, 2016 WorkinProgress that's the city of xian China! Thanks Lukas! And if you show them to your mother maybe she will realised this drawing didn't involve any skills orz. At first the professor suggested me cross hatching all the items in the picture but I destroyed all if my ink pens as I couldn't hold the pen properly orz. So I decided to just blacken the things and luckily that was good looking too.Day 26 (wake up challenge day 1)I had dream about relapse again orz. This time I played Pokemon in my dream and I realized myself relapsed after 90min of gameplay. I remembered myself decided to hide the truth and continue the detox lol. Luckily it was just a dream.Also, I started reading the book slight edge. In my life I always wanted instant results and refused to continue to develop the skills if I couldn't do well at the start. For example, before quitting I tried to play LoL and I deleted the game after 1 day as I couldn't play well and was scolded by others lol. This behavior was similar to other daily life situation to. So I thought this will be a good book for me.Today I attended the open model session hahaha that was fun! I also attended the drawing club at school and the professor is extremely helpful, more helpful than my prof in classes for 100 times! I was so happy to meet a prof which was helpful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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