Terra's journal

[Terra]

First of all, I want to thank you for visiting this page

Like everyone here, I will keep track and highlight my honest progress every 3 days or so.

Day 1

- i have depression and i feel tired

- i uninstalled all of the games after deleting the content from inside ( saves and progress )

- registered a forum account here; searched for places where people gather and talk about game quitting

- saved few chillout radio stations to play in the background

This is all for day 1

I quited games before but.. like a wheel, a vicious cycle I started again and again. Hope that this time i will end this bad habbit for good; my age and my pride can't accept this no longer!

I'm conscious that i played games to avoid reality, a temporar shelter. The human being has 5 senses, most of the games use 2: seeing and hearing. If we get addicted easily means that the individual is sensible in those areas. I will try to replace games with MUSIC ( for the hearing ) and ACTIVITY ( for the seeing ). Music changes me, another world. I like trance, ambient, chillout, 80, 90 and classical.

I will update this log.

Edited October 8, 2016 by Terra

[Piotr]

Hi!
It's nice to see you journaling! If you've quit games before, than you will surely do it again. It's very interesting what you wrote about senses, probably that's why I've watched music videos at the beginning of my detox. Can't wait to read more from you!

[Simon E]

Good job starting the journal, make sure to keep coming here to write. It's immensely helpful to put down your thoughts and feelings on paper, and get feedback from other people.

[Terra]

I think games use our touch sense also: mouse and keyboard, touchscreens and so on. We feel the keys and depending on the game, each key triggers an emotion.

So games take 3 of our 5 senses:  sight, hearing and touch. This might be the reason we feel gaming pleasurable and real ( for the moment ). I think the perfect game will be the one that uses all 5 human senses, so that the soul gets trapped completly in that game and loses touch with reality.

As for my first day i did all i can do: i cleaned my room and some of the house ( was a mess! ) and i tried to stay outside ( avoiding people; i have depression after intense gaming ) to breath fresh air and oxygenate my skin. Im also considering doing some " home " sports in the nearby future. I want to mention that i felt the need to reinstall some games, but i remembered of this community and this helped me stop.

You know, i think intensive gaming gets to depression and can also trigger some other bad habbits like drinking, smoking and pornography. ( Sadly they work hand in hand, like coffee and cigars.. )

 

[notKosmic]

Love the Robert Jordan quote.  I read the series and the Sanderson ending.  

I'm glad to hear this community helped you not reinstall the games.  Amazing!

[Reno F]

Hi Terra, welcome to the forum!

If you quit once, you can do it again!

[Cam Adair]

Awesome job starting your journal. I will be following!

[Terra]

Days 2, 3

- i had multiple game cravings, the desire to reinstall some games and play. I mention that this desire was mainly triggered by various ads

- i cleaned my room from scratch ( every corner and hole that you can think of I live in a cave. lol )

- made time to stay outside in fresh air and sunlight; at least 1 hour a day

- started drawing various shit so that i have more toilet paper

- alot of music and some documentaries

- tried to find some good chatrooms to socialise and talk, but too many sexual discussions, too many muscles and dick pics.

This is all for days 2 and 3

 

Edited October 10, 2016 by Terra

[Piotr]

Those small steps compound over time. Just get yourself a daily plan, make yourself busy to have a "distraction" from games. Keep changing for better!

[Cam Adair]

Good job. Cravings will pass over time.

[Terra]

Days 4, 5

- some small game cravings, triggered by ads

- need to fix my desire of watching random youtube crap

- started to adjust my sleeping patterns

- started doing sport again, yoga streching along with home exercises. 1 hour a day

- increased my daily time outside up to 2 hours

- added meditation before bedtime. 30 minutes

____

- i feel like i'm starting to regain my sick humour and confidence

This is all for days 4 and 5

Edited October 8, 2016 by Terra

[Reno F]

I felt asleep once on my 10-minute meditation.

Be careful to not sleep while meditatting, because it is not meant to sleep!

[Terra]

I felt asleep once on my 10-minute meditation.

Be careful to not sleep while meditatting, because it is not meant to sleep!

Reno you are right! We need to have our back straight for two reasons: it prevents us from falling asleep and a straight back will open our natural flow of energy.

I meditate using the old lotus position.

[Fagus]

I really like how you separate good and bad with colours. Makes it very structured. I also started to meditate and having a straight back is a helpful advice. The old lotus position is with crossed legs? 

[Simon E]

@Fagus I think the old lotus position is where you have your legs crossed, and your feet positioned on the opposite thigh, but I might be wrong. It's pretty uncomfortable the first times you use it. 

[Terra]

The most important thing in meditation is having your spine straight in a vertical position ( you can help yourself by leaning on a wall or placing some pillows ), if the lotus position doesnt feel right, go with " sitting on your knees ", sitting on a chair, or something similar.

It also depends on what kind of meditation you are doing: guided meditation, chakra cleasing, brain hemisphere balancing, relaxation and so on The more relaxed you are, the more succesfull the meditation will be. By practice, you will achieve higher states of mental focus: from beta, to alpha to delta; after years of practice, monks can reach the theta state ( deep sleep ) while being fully aware, conscious.

In order to accelerate this process use special audio, like that ones that use binaureal beats . But be very carefull, some of them can put you in a coma in a matter of minutes.

 

Edited October 8, 2016 by Terra

[Yellow]

Good thing that I read the reason about your cravings so I could make sure they do not happen to me before it might happen. thanks! I'll keep following

[Terra]

Days 6, 7

- some small game cravings, triggered by ads

- alot of youtube!

- stopped going outside. Even if im not playing, i spend way too much time on the internet

- sport and meditation regulary

- started writting

- reading and alot of music, pencil sketches here and there

- active member on 3 forums ( including gamequitters )

- still working on my sleeping patterns.

This is all for days 6 and 7

Edited October 10, 2016 by Terra

[Terra]

I have an annoying bug! Everytime i edit something that brainwave image appears! lol

Inside the message, i click the trash icon to delete it, everything looks fine, i SAVE the post and BAM! there it is.

Edit: Fixed! Had to uninstall an app and reinstall google chrome

Edited October 10, 2016 by Terra

[Cam Adair]

Really appreciate all of your forum posts. You're a great addition to our community.

[Terra]

Days 8, 9

- one huge game craving when i saw two of my friends playing diablo 2, on tablets! They found a great program that allows them to emulate and adapt classic games for android touchscreen devices ( age of empires 2, starcraft 1 etc., on a mobile phone or tablet lol.. ) I hardly resisted this temptation.

- sport and meditation as usual

- reading, writting, drawing and alot of music

- less time spent at the computer

- working on my sleep patterns

This is all for days 8 and 9

[Reno F]

The golden era of RTS! Good job on resisting those!

[Terra]

Days 10, 11

- small cravings triggered by various memories

- sport and meditation as usual

- reading and writting

- my sleep patterns are altmost as normal!

This is all for days 10 and 11

[Terra]

Days 12, 13

- cravings triggered by various game soundtracks. LoL

- sport and meditation as usual

- reading. ( Finished 4 books so far )

- my sleep patterns ARE NORMAL. i go to sleep at 10:30 pm, i wake up at 7 AM

- daily time spent outside increased up to 3 hours

This is all for days 12 and 13

[Reno F]

what do you do outside?