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addict10n

Chris' Journal

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Recentely I had a huge relapse streak that has caused me some problames so I'm starting a daily journal untill and the end of Septemeber and I'll see from there on.Bear with me , here goes.

Day 1

I seem to be getting into a good sleeping schedule. I went to bed around 1.30 am and woke up around 10.30 am which is a  major improvement.The past week when I was on the relapse streak I used to go to bed at 5-6 am and wake up around midday.I was planing to take an exam tomorrow but due to major procrastination and wasting a lot of time I didnt study and it's pointless to go to the exam with just 1 day of preparation , so I will have to cut my losses and skip this one and focus on studying  for the 2 upcoming class exams next week.

I hit the gym early evening and joined a group workout , it was a blast!It was a Cross training 1 hour program,it's an awesome workout and keeps you totally enganged.

Things I'm working on right now:

I'm trying to improve my nutrition habits.Unlike most people I'm struggling to  gain weight ,I hit the gym almost everyday and I also enjoy running at night for many kilometers which means that I have to eat a shitload of food to keep my weight as is or even gain some, that is somewhat of a problem cause I dont really eat that much.

I have to start early and prepare good for the upcoming exams for school next week, I just cant afford to fail those classes cause I'm allready behind.

I'm facing 2 major problems that played a huge role in my relapse.

1. Lack of friends with similar interests,mindset , goals and general lack of social circle.

2.Lack of activities that keep me interested and engaged .I just have too much "free time" .I know I can fill that time with studying for school, or doing other mandatory things that I dont really enjoy , I know I cant keep this in the long run , it makes feel dead and depressed.I have to find some sort of activity that involves socialising and meeting new people .Living in a relatively small town in Greece , meetup.com wont work for me.

The source of my problems is scarcity mentality. I honestly believe that my options where I am right now are limited  in some many ways and so many fields in my life.Wether that is true or not I dont know but that is my perception right now and I know deep down that this is working as a self fulfilling prophecy.

I'm gonna go shopping this afternoon , maybe get some sports gear and a good shirt .

Cheers everyone,

Chris

Edited by addict10n

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Hello and good job with creating your journal!

You need to find out why you played video games. Could you give me the top 3 most regular games you played? Also, are you an  introvert or extrovert? 

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I'm facing 2 major problems that played a huge role in my relapse.

1. Lack of friends with similar interests,mindset , goals and general lack of social circle.

2.Lack of activities that keep me interested and engaged .I just have too much "free time" .I know I can fill that time with studying for school, or doing other mandatory things that I dont really enjoy , I know I cant keep this in the long run , it makes feel dead and depressed.I have to find some sort of activity that involves socialising and meeting new people .Living in a relatively small town in Greece , meetup.com wont work for me.

Hi Chris, nice to see your journal up here!

Brave step you've made to keep a journal for September, but if you find it beneficial then it might be worth considering extending that time once September is over.

Unfortunately after abstaining from gaming, it's necessary to find new friends that will help you ease into new engaging activities. Additionally they won't pressure you into gaming if they don't game already. Perhaps think of it as an opportunity to grow your social skills and find people that are more like you; in my experience the best friends I have now I made without anything to do with gaming or ties through gaming.

Although it seems possible, we often can't think ourselves into getting motivation for doing new activities we haven't delved into before. Like most activities, we're only motivated and excited about the activity whilst we're doing it or afterwards, so it'll be necessary to simply try new activities until you find some that you enjoy.

I hope my advice helps, and best of luck with your September challenge! :D

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@AlexTheGrape I appreciate your advice Alex, but I just dont know where to find people who share my interests and could potentially be my friends.I dont know where to look or what activities I can join to meet such people in my area.

@sirjk  I'd describe myself as an extrovert.During my relapse I played Dota 2 and CS:GO mostly, but I would play pretty much anything at that point.

Day 2

Woke up around 10am which means I'm getting closer to my goal to wake up earlier in the morning.This morning was a "dead" morning ,I didnt really get anything done , I played chess online for a few hours (I think it's a substitute for gaming and therefore I have to stop).I hit the gym early evening for a good workout, but other than that not much going on .I'm not getting any stimulation whatsoever and I lack enthusiasm or the will to do anything creative or new.Saw some cute girls in the gym but nothing really happend, 2-3 months back I'd  be talking to them within 5 mins of seeing them, seems like I lost this touch as well.I want to find new activites to join and  maybe meet some people to go out with but I dont know where to start or where to look for.I feel like most people in my city have a completely different culture and mentality, like I cannot  really relate or open up to most people I have met around my age.I think I'm gonna take a walk around town tonight and maybe grab something to eat while I'm at it.

 

Edited by addict10n

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I'm not sure what it's like where you live, but if there are some public clubs you're interested in, it'd be a good idea to check those out. I'd also recommend checking out Cam's 60+ hobby ideas, which you can check out here: http://gamequitters.com/hobby-ideas/

Even if you don't use a particular activity to try and get new friends that way, you can always befriend random strangers to get to know new people. It isn't something that many would normally do, but I've made awesome friends that way. 

The main thing is just meeting new people, wherever they might be. The more people you meet and greet, the greater chance they'll have a common interest with you.

Good luck with getting some amazing friends :)

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... like I cannot  really relate or open up to most people I have met around my age.

Hey addict10n, congrats on starting the journey. I had the same impression in my situation, but believe me there is a lot of common ground. You just have to find it. Keep working and exploring. You'll find organizations you can join and do cool stuff in. Keep working on it and you will get 'your touch' back :)

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@sirjk  I'd describe myself as an extrovert.During my relapse I played Dota 2 and CS:GO mostly, but I would play pretty much anything at that point.

Hey man, thanks for the reply! I use to be LE in CSGO, I treated the game like it was my own job. 9 to bloody 5. (more like 10am - 3am xD) I found out that I played Counter-Strike because I was competitive. I liked winning. And I believe you may feel the same when playing games like Dota 2 and CSGO. You mention you liked playing Chess? Chess is a great game to study and learn strategies on. A good thing is to replace gaming with things that were similar to the games you played. I don't know where you live, but would you consider chess meetups and comps? Quitting is hard, just give it a few days and you'll find everything is improving!

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@sirjk

I'm not sure me playing chess is a good idea cause I'm playing online, anyway thanks for the support bro.

Day 3.

Played a lot of chess today, went to the gym and did some minor reading ( 4 hour-Body )and some studying for school. Not really much going on , I gotta find social activites to join, i'm looking for what is available in my area.I'm going jogging and then out for a walk downtown tonight.

 

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Yo, Addict10n! I'm a fellow chess player and I think @sirjk's idea about playing vs. someone IRL could be fun. I don't play online because it feels too addictive to me but I enjoy playing with a couple of friends from school. It has been a good activity to replace gaming with and I have also made some good friends there.

Also great reflective observations!

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Played a lot of chess today, went to the gym and did some minor reading ( 4 hour-Body )and some studying for school. Not really much going on , I gotta find social activites to join, i'm looking for what is available in my area.I'm going jogging and then out for a walk downtown tonight.

Social activities will help a lot. Any ideas yet?

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@Cam Adair I used to be in chess club many years back , It's something I enjoyed and met a lot of people there, unfortunately this club that I was in no longer exists, I looked it up.I was also interested in joining a mountain biking club but I'll probably have to invest some money to get a decent bike and gear. I'm still looking for other activites that are available in my area.

Edited by addict10n

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Day 4.

I have to stop playing chess online, it is not helping.I'd like to unplug my computer and go cold turkey without computer for a while but I cant do it because I have to study on the pc.I picked up some self help books that I have left unfinished and start listening to podcasts again.Today I  ordered a few other books as well,delivery date is mid to late October...

I gotta set up a weekly schedule and organise myself a bit.I think it's crucial that I socialise more and go out more but I'm progressing really slow. Hopefully I will meet up some guys from my city that I met from a forum about dating ,going out to pick up girls was something that I would do a lot before I relapsed but havent gone out of my way to talk to girls for while now.Living in my parents house is really annoying for so many different reasons.

On the bright side my physical state is improving a lot and I've studied a bit about the school exams the upcoming friday.

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Day 5. 

I woke up at 7am to the sound of a storm, turns out I had left the window upstairs open(the weather seemed fine yesterday),needless to say the floor was all yet and the storm did some minor damages to my bedroom window.

Late last night I scheduled my morning, I found that this really helped me get a few things done , like having proper meals, studying for exams and relaxing while managing to squeeze in some errunds I had to run as well.I listened to an awesome podcast. I'm gonna stick with this schedule the next day idea and see how it goes (i'm using an app I downloaded yesterday called timetune).Hit the gym early evening for a good workout and I might go for a night run as well.

Things I'm begining to notice:

I have no urge to game at the moment , at least not for now.If I manage to stop online chess completely I'll be 100% video game free.

I feel like I'm starting to get back on my feet after the relapse although I have a long long long way to go to achieve some goals I have in mind.

I know I got my workout routine down, once it becomes a habit I know I can stay in good physical health and do my daily training without problem.

Things I gotta work on:

I need to work on making studying for uni a habit even if it is just for 1 hour.

Meditation and reading books needs to become a habit as well.

I feel my social confidence is increasing , making new friends and crating a new social circle is something I need to conciously work on.

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Day 6

I managed to keep on schedule this morning, although I kinda fucked up in the evening.I managed to get quite a few things done today and I'm happy for that.Bought some cool training equipment.

I'm still sutdying for 2 exams in the same day this upcoming friday for the Uni.If I pass both it will be a huge relief, getting that monkey of my back.

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Chess online during the detox isn't recommended for sure. Too easy to just keep playing and not have the motivation to find new activities that will be more sustainable.

Any clubs at Uni appeal to you? Studying at the Uni library could also help.

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Good idea,I will check what clubs there are next week when the exam period is over.I know there are a few clubs in my uni but havent really done much research on it to see what these are exactly.

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Day 7

Did some sutdying for school in the morning.Today I went to the gym around mid-day,I noticed that when you workout out early in the day , the day seems longer which is really cool.Did some shopping downtown, I like the fact that there are a lot of people out in the street at this period of the year.I went jogging early afternoon , something I enjoy doing.

Positive things, I didnt play any chess online today and have no urge to play either.

Tomorrow I'll have to put my best foot forward to prepare for the exams on friday.

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Day 8.

I did quite a lot of studying today , I have 2 exams tomorrow.

 I binged on youtube videos ,internet browsing and other stuff,maybe the stress of the exams or lack of focus .

It is just a day and I'm not perfect so it's fine.I just have to watch so it doesnt become a habit.

I joined a group workout in the gym which is fun, I enjoy talking to people who are into fitness like myself.

Set up a meet-up with some guys I met on a forum and we are meeting this wknd.

Listened to a cool podcast.Tomorrow I have 2  three hour exams with 3 hours in between so I'll have to grind it out.

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Yeah and I'm thinking about joining a yoga class next week in the gym and see how it is.

Day 9 I woke up early . I did really well in the first exam for uni and I 'll probably just pass the second one.I'm wuite satisfied with this.Gaming Relapse in the middle of the exam period was really costly but at least I managed to salvage the situation and pass 4-5 classes.

 

Had a meal  and hit the gym.Tomorrow I'm going to meet some friends from an online forum.I'm pretty hyped about that.

I'm trying to make daily meditation a habit  even for a couple mins, just the slow ,concious breathing helps me relax and clear my mind.

 

 

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Yeah and I'm thinking about joining a yoga class next week in the gym and see how it is.

 

I'm trying to make daily meditation a habit  even for a couple mins, just the slow ,concious breathing helps me relax and clear my mind.

You can try those, but I warn you that it might be dangerous. Read about it more and decide whether you want to take risk in these activities or not. :)

However I really like your idea to going to the gym and train. This will help you be more social on daily basis and consistent with training. ;)

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Day 10.

"Slow day"

I did a lot of unwinding today.Went to the gym, met with a friend but a lot of sitting around and watching TV.

Exams period is over and uni classes for the next semester dont start untill early october,which means I have  a week completely free of "school obligations". Although I'm gratefull for this free week, I'm not entirely sure I have enough activities to fill so much free time. I'll have to try outa  bunch of stuff and new activites.I  dont want to just kill time.

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