Tom's journal

[cordharel]

I tripped on my way home and smashed on the ground

Yes real life is dangerous, take care

When I say to my girlfriend that I am addicted to games her reaction is "Again?" as she is already used to it - We are in a relationship for 10 years now. I can always ask her or talk to her about everything - that's great.

I also have problems going out. I mean usually I sit in front of my computer. And the place where I live is really boring like it is not a city or anything... just some houses where family live. So if I go outside to walk after about 30 minutes I ask myself "And what now? Where's my quest?"

I also like lakes maybe I can also meditate at one sometimes... I usually walk around if I ever go outside.

Wish you all the best for day 14+!

[Tom]

Day 14. Slept in a bit: woke up at 6.45 in a quiet home. Another fragmented night meant no dreams to recall. No need to journal, so I took the chance to meditate, lift weights, make a super-tasty breakfast, and read.

Today I really, really wanted to play TF2. Just a little bit. One or two matches. An hour or two. I kept thinking I need a break, that's a break, what difference does it make if I play. It lasted for maybe a couple of hours. It was kind of funny to observe my frustration

During the day I made arrangements with a friend who is coming from Canada in a couple of weeks (no, not Cam). We'll have dinner and then I'll show him this place called Excalibur. Of course we'll end up talking about metal, martial arts, and all those other things we love. Anticipation feels good!

I'm also hitting it on with Duolingo. When I first checked it out it didn't have Dutch. Now it does. Turns out it's a great program, very effective!

Time now for one of my great pleasures: listening to music under the blankets. There are things better done with your eyes closed.

Gratitude journal:

1. Eating every meal with with my family, every day.
2. International travel creating friendships and bridging cultures.
3. Earbuds. Comfortable to wear, and I can rock away all I like without annoying anyone.

[Cam Adair]

Urges and cravings will come and go. Be mindful of the justifications you're making and get moving around which will help shift the energy in your body.

[wookieshark88]

You're doing great! I'm encouraged by your words!

[Tom]

Day 15. Woke up again at 6.45 since I had work to do the evening before. A couple of dreams I could recall fairly well, so I wrote them down as usual. I progressed with my language studies too. The early bird catches the worm

It's been a great day at work! I also had some time to play with my kids, and now I'll get to spend some time with my wife. All is well.

Gratitude journal:

1. I love working with my colleagues. They are great professionals and fun people.
2. My wife is a great cook. She's so good that I want to marry her.
3. Home delivery. Even the best cooks deserve a break

[Phoenix]

Hey Tom, keep going, you're doing great! Don't give in to your temptations.

[Tom]

Time to catch up!

Day 16. Highlight: meeting my friend and her husband again. Had to be just a chat and a couple of drinks and it turned into a great night out! We'll meet again soon and this time with my wife too.

Day 17. Highlight: going for a walk with my 2.5 years old. I slowed down and let him take his time doing whatever he wanted on the way. We lifted the flap of every letterbox. We checked the color of every car.

Gratitude journal:

1. Seeing my friends happy. It uplifts me.
2. Weekends: spending two days doing what you love, with the people you love.
3. Pajamas. We should wear them all day, every day

[Tom]

Day 18. Feels like ages since I had a full night's sleep. I wonder how can children have such fragmented nights and still be full of energy during the day. If only I could learn Well, whatever, it's not that bad, and it will pass eventually.

The kids are not feeling great, which is affecting their mood, however we went to town anyway. I made it a point to spend all day together as a family. It worked out.

I also studied some more Dutch. It's starting to get challenging. Good, maybe I'll soon stop expressing myself like a dumb monkey

Gratitude journal:

1. Public transport here is awesome.
2. My eldest son is starting to speak Dutch. It's a great challenge for him.
3. Unbranded disposable contact lenses.

[Cam Adair]

Hope you're having a great weekend Tom!

[Tom]

Day 19. A good day! Since it's holiday time I didn't have to take care of anything school-related. So yesterday evening I spent more time with my wife and set my alarm clock for 7 AM. I woke up with detailed memories of three dreams and somewhat remembering a fourth. It took more than half an hour to record them. I am happy that I'm regaining this skill and excited at the thought of what's coming next. It's a major motivator for getting enough sleep.

I took a long break from work and went to meet Thomas (Phoenix) at one of the few places where one can get some really good coffee. We talked for over an hour and the only disappointment was that at one point I had to run away and get back to work. Definitely the highlight of the day! We will sure meet again soon for the second GameQuitters European Meetup Who wants to join?

Gratitude journal:

1. Meeting Thomas. A new friend!
2. Power racks, literally saving the neck of distracted weightlifters.
3. Bicycles, the ultimate means of transportation.

[Cam Adair]

That's awesome! You guys should take a picture next time! Also, what city are you in? I will see if any others are nearby!

[Tom]

We did Thomas's idea. He'll post it later. We met in The Hague, Netherlands.

[cordharel]

OOhhh the netherlands... this is where Happy Hardcore comes from, isn't it? I love happy hardcore

Yes you should definately take a picture next time.

Can you explain what this means about your dreams: "It took more than half an hour to record them." ? Record on tape?

[Phoenix]

Hey Tom, it was nice meeting you . We had an interesting conversation about all topics.
I find it awesome that this site connects people, makes you realise how small the world is and how connected we are.
I did take a picture, I will message it to those who are interested. (I won't post it publicly for privacy reasons).
Will definitely meet again some time!

Edited October 19, 2015 by Phoenix

[Tom]

OOhhh the netherlands... this is where Happy Hardcore comes from, isn't it? I love happy hardcore

?Yes, you are correct. Good for you! To me it has the same appeal of a headbutt to the groin

Can you explain what this means about your dreams: "It took more than half an hour to record them." ? Record on tape?

?No, record in my dream journal. I keep one to improve my dream recall. A fun hobby of mine.

[Tom]

Day 20. The highlight of the morning was taking both my children to the childminder. We took all the time in the world walking hand in hand, looking at and talking about the different roadwork equipment.

This come at the result of some thinking I've done lately about time and its worth. Taking fifteen minutes longer in the morning has no negative effect on work. Those first emails can wait. What doesn't wait is time itself. I'd better spend it wisely by being 100% present.

That's also why if I'm not in a call and my children want to come into my office. I let them. We chat for some minutes and after that we are all happier. Tomorrow I'm making a signal system so that they know at a glance whether they can come or not.

Gratitude journal:

1. Rediscovering the value of time and realizing I'm the one who must teach it to my children.
2. Garlic. One head of garlic a day keeps the doctor and many others away.
3. Neighbors's cats becoming friendly and cuddly.

[cordharel]

So I assume you work at home in the way you speak about your office?

Yes I also think time spent with your little ones is time spent well invested! 

I also like garlic. We lately had Raclette and my girlfriend made her first ownmade garlic sauce with 4 garlic heads... my mouth tasted like garlic even 2 days later 

Edited October 21, 2015 by cordharel

[Cam Adair]

+1 to taking extra time in the morning for yourself.

[Tom]

So I assume you work at home in the way you speak about your office?

Yes. It's something I always wanted and I worked hard to convince my employer. It's a blessing that it worked out.

I also like garlic. We lately had Raclette and my girlfriend made her first ownmade garlic sauce with 4 garlic heads... my mouth tasted like garlic even 2 days later 

This Raclette looks amazing! Can't wait to try it!

[Tom]

Day 21. Another slow morning just for myself. Good stuff.

A very productive day at work. I also made a sign for my office: green on one side, red on the other. The children like it, so they make it work 

Everybody at home is sick here except me, so I'm taking care of them and of the house as well. Feels good to be useful beyond my call of duty.

The highlight of the day is a personal achievement: I managed to squat 125 kg five times, which is 1.8 times my body weight! Will I ever get to 150 x 5? Let's find out!

I celebrated by buying several kinds of spicy peppers. Can't wait to try them all and find "the one". I also had a conversation in Dutch with the shop owner.

Since there's no hurry I didn't nag my children to go to bed. We were together, playing and eating baked chestnuts until they finally wanted to go.

Daily gratitude:

1. Duolingo, a real help in teaching me the language and building confidence.
2. Autumn. I always liked it. It's a season for intimacy.
3. Game Quitters. Cam's baby is giving me so much.

[Cam Adair]

Great job on your personal best for squats!

[Tom]

Day 22. Woke up at 5.45. Dream recall below average for the last days but much better than the average of the last months. Some interesting mental threads to follow. Another slow morning where I dedicated quite some time to this forum, which I find to be a relaxed and engaging way to start the day.

Those peppers I bought yesterday are great! Not hellfire but definitely hot and tasty.

I've been very productive at work and I made good progress with my Dutch course. I still find it hard to understand everything they say in the cartoon I'm watching with my children but that doesn't make "boys time" less enjoyable.

Gratitude journal:

1. Small independent shops selling delicious ethnic food.
2. Linux. It's just awesome and it makes the world a better place.
3. Liszt for being such an amazing composer.

[wookieshark88]

I like to catch on on all the threads here when I feel (am able) to have idle internet time.  It's uplifting and friendly.  I'm also jealous of your peppers.  I hope you enjoy them enough for two people because I'm on a bland diet until I get my stomach in order.

[Tom]

Day 23. I was a bit upset in the morning. My children didn't get ready in time and I had to jump into a meeting, so my wife had to take them to the childminder. This robbed me of some happy time. Ironically the meeting was postponed and then cancelled. Mmpfh.

Whatever. I was a bit low on energy but still managed to make good use of my time at work. I am happy that I like my job: it makes it easier to keep going.

After realizing that I milked the last drop out of my strength training program I changed it for a more advanced one. As usual I've done much research before settling on the one I think will be the best for me. Session one went well!

The children really wanted to go out so we went to town for a bite and a drink. We are in the middle of the cultural season and it was nice weather, so we sat outside and enjoyed some live music. I had a conversation in Dutch with a woman from a local volunteer organization. I'll meet her again with my CV and we'll see how I can be of help.

Back home, even if it was late, we played with the children until they practically fell asleep while running around. We are putting an effort into being the best parents we can. Guess what we found out? We are happier as a result.

Gratitude journal:

1. Dutch public transport is fantastic!
2. Belgium is close by so there's no lack of excellent beers on tap.
3. Playtime before bed was loads of fun!

[gankylosaurus]

Man, that does sound like a rough morning. One of the few times that a cancelled meeting actually seems like a bad thing.

What kind of strength training program are you doing? I'm starting up easy, but I'll likely do more strenuous workouts once I get my strength back, so I'm looking for ideas.

And yay for good parenting leading to greater happiness!