Hi, Here's what I did this morning

[Holdridge]

pS4. I just put the games (including mgs5) and the controller and the cords in the trash. I am thinking of how I will destroy the console. I'm not angry; I just want to be thorough. If I sell it someone else will have it. If I throw it in the trash, someone else might get it. I would never want someone else to get enslaved or distracted like I was.

My name is Logan. video games are the one thing in my life where it's like I have no self-control. I've managed to cut out and/or quell many temptations, but this one area is unreal in how powerfully I'm turned into a junkie. I played single player games. dark souls series, elder scrolls, mgs, Arkham city, etc. anyways. I've quit before. Several times.

i woke up this morning. 430am. I've been waking up this early a lot lately. My dreams...

anyways, I decided it would be a good idea to trash the video games and my television. Then of course I started second guessing....just now while writing this, I remember, the founder of this website explains the doubts as part of the "sunk cost fallacy."

moving on, I thought about what I wanted. I want to walk the walk, with the Lord, as a Christian. Like an actual Christian not a fake one like what many people are (it's sad but true). I know this may sound cheesy or unbelievable to some of you, but every single time I ask myself that generic question "what do you really want...." That's the very first and only solid answer in my mind. Every single time. Crazy huh. I didn't grow up in the church and no one I grew up with is like this, and none of my friends were like this, and it wasn't for a girl either. I'm educated, well-schooled. Two degrees. Just so you know. This isn't "religion" brainwashing me.

So this morning I dealt with the doubts by doing some push-ups (haven't done those in a WHILE!) then praying about it. I got on my knees and just asked. No drama. Just straight-up asked. I won't go into detail, but I was asking for support. Ongoing support. I don't want to come back to this stuff!

the games and cords are in the trash can. I am not sure how I want to destroy the console. But I do want to destroy it.

I think this is a good way to go. Throw out the games and cords and controllers, then figure out how you want to destroy the console.

Something about out separating the two....it just feels right, man.

[Cam Adair]

Hey Logan! Thanks for joining us here. We've got your back!

Let us know if we can help at all. I'm excited to follow your journey here.

[Holdridge]

Thanks man, and thanks for this site.

[Holdridge]

Still haven't played games, but definitely have had strange bouts of being tempted lately because of the games coming out. I say strange, because it really is almost spooky.  Last week I felt like I was sitting over a black hole sucking me into the gaming mode.....then I checked and Fallout 4 was coming out. Anyways, still haven't played, and wanted to check in again and say so.  

As for having a strong reaction to religion, that's how it is for a lot of people who believe as well.  I have a real aversion to religion and religious activities but wade through investigating and pursuing my faith.  At the end of the day,FOR ME, it has to do with truth. Whether I like the truth or not. I have to admit it.  I honestly would be much more comfortable, and would have an easier time, if I believed it were true that after we die that's it, or that this universe is the product of chance....but the more I would scrutinize the matter, it becomes impossible for me to be honest and suggest that the world was created by a big bang and that evolution is true.  If they were true, it would be an easier life, surely.   

In any case, the problem is, people are so prone to lying and BSing....a lot like a sketchy used car-salesman.  I find this to be true among believers and non-believers. Often times especially true among religious people (the bible warns and exposes this, btw) One of the hardest things about pursuing my faith is encountering the insincerity and pretentions of religious folks; a lot of times, these folks don't even really believe what they are saying, and this is something that troubles me and a lot of other people.  So before you get mad at me for sharing my faith (I'm not saying you are), realize that I get it from both sides.  A lot of times religious people don't want to hear about the faith, what the bible says, or any earnest inquiry for truth.  

My experience of realizing that all people are messed up in this way is what keeps me in the faith, since the Bible insists upon the notion that no one is really good, not really.  I'm not upset by someone having a strong reaction or whatever.  I only get frustrated when people do the used car salesman thing (a lot of evangelical Christians do this), or when people attack dishonestly while being unwilling to actually think through the issue.

 

But yeah, I  quit games.  Am still off.  But it's been weird lately with the draw of these new games.  Like it's in the air or something.     

[Cam Adair]

Hey Logan! Thanks for the update and congrats on not gaming so far. That's a big accomplishment!