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My Journal - Rodrigo


Rodrigo

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Hello!

I have been writting in my physical journal, but I find it interesting to write in here, so here it goes :D

What I'm reading:

  • "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius

What I need to take care of:

  • Have a meditation routine;
  • Learn a (or some) techniques that helps me to relax when I get stressed/nervous

For now it's just these two. I don't want to push myself a lot in the beggining.

The problem of the meditation routine is that I live in a flat with 4 more friends and I also share my bedroom with another guy. So the only way to meditate without noises is in the morning before they wake up. Well, that's okay! But I tend to fall asleep or drift away if I try it early in the morning... I will keep at it though, hopefully will get somewhere..

Another big problem of mine is that I get nervous. I think that I'm do not look relaxed throughout the day, maybe it's because I tend to talk fast and not clear enough? Hmm then I will start to talk more slowly. It's not my posture, because I had already worked on that (no more slouch and hands in the pockets).

I also get nervous when I talk to groups bigger than 3 people, but I guess that's something that only goes away from practice. I've been an University Mentor for about 25 freshmen and also 4 Erasmus Students (International Students). And I always get a bit overwhelmed on the first day when we met where we have to go with them a series of steps. This year was much better than the last year.

What I will work on:

  • My nervousness. Will start to talk more slowly;
  • My social skills. Will try to have 2 coffee meetings with new/old friends each week;
  • Meditation. Being more aware and awake in the morning. Will try to breathe the outside air before trying to meditate;

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Today I got up early (6 AM) to pack my stuff and go to my flat near the University. I read while in the public transports. Had classes from 9:30 AM to 6:30 PM (ahhhh gotta love Mondays!). Had 1 and a half hour to lunch, read for half an hour and stayed with a friend of mine for another half an hour.

Arrived to my flat, a lot tired. Studied and tried to advance in a lab project (Computer Security), managed to understand some key concepts through some youtube videos. Did dinner and now I was browsing through the forum and writing this journal.

Now I remembered something that I kind of hated why it happened. In an exercise class I was able to do the exercises. The professor asked for my name and asked me to answer to solve the exercise he had in the board. I said some stuff but not everything. Then he asked another guy to complete what I said. I really hated when that happened. I knew the answer to the problem! But I got too nervous that my brain froze! It was the first time a professor asked me for something in a class and that also asked for my name (The professor is very good by the way, really really good). Now that I'm getting my masters degree I want to give a good impression to the professors and this just happened xD Next time I will get it right! Hopefully it wasn't as bad as it seemed to me.
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I'm grateful for:

1. Getting to know 2 cool guys that are in a lab group with me.

2. Having less freshmen students to mentor than last year, it's so much more easier and possible to help them all;

3. Being able to change;

4. Having a great summer internship. Learned a lot;

5. Living in a country with such a good weather.

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Good news! I just found out my perfect meditation routine \o/

I woke up 30 minutes earlier than usual and everyone was sleeping. I got the energy to get up and start searching for a place where I could meditate. This time I tried while sitted in a chair while facing a window with a good view. It was 6:30 AM, no cars sounds and the birds start singing, great ambience! I have to say, this was the first time I REALLY felt comfortable while meditating. No pain, no urge to move, nothing. I felt that my arms were pillars and that my body was made of stone. My feet and legs were vibrating. I only did it for 15~20 minutes because I didn't put a timer, but I definitely could do it for 30 or more minutes. It was really nice! Going to stick with the chair for now :D

A while after my meditation something came into my mind. I am not as funny as I previously was. To be honest I can't remember the last time I was funny. So I read a bit on some sites and I found that it's possible to practice being funny. I just have to alter the lense through which I see the world. I'm using a very analytical lense which can be explained why I'm in engineering ahahah xD So I am going to do this exercise (that I got from a site/video I trust) for atleast 3 months:

  • Ask to myself in every occasion "What could I make in this situation to make this funny?";
  • Random Sentence Strings
    • Set a 10 minute timer;
    • Sit in a quiet place;
    • String random sentences using the last word of a sentence to start the next one;
  • Affirmation and Visualization
    • Set a 5 minute timer;
    • Visualize this statement
      • "I see funniness everywhere;
    • Set another 5 minute timer
    • Repeat the same statement over and over;
    • Then do the same for "I am a Rascal"
  • Live Practice (Advanced/Do when comfortable)
    • Go to a mall, cologne store;
    • Conversation about a cologne;
    • Ask for her name, where she's from, how she got this job, etc..
    • Look for the funny in everything she says;

In case anyone is interested, you can use this plan too! :)


I forgot a lot of times to notice my rythm of speech and to slow it down if needed. Have to notice it.

I also installed the facebook news feed erradicator (I saw that recommended in another thread, can't remember where) and I have to say that IT'S AMAZING!! Just to let you know how much I was addiced to check it, I still refresh the page sometimes, even with the plugin. Ouch!! Definitely something to keep. Bye bye mindless fb scrolling o/

I'm loving to read "Meditations", there's so much stuff that I can apply to my daily life and to remind me that my life is finite and that we must enjoy it while we can and respect the order of the Universe. I'm filling my Evernote with quotes, it's crazy!

Edited by Rodrigo
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Almost forgot to do the gratitude exercise xD

I'm grateful for:

6. Being able to store food in the freezer for quite some time;

7. Being so easy to buy food and other products;

8. The products being so cheap even if they had to go through a lot of processes (Like a can);

9. Being possible to adquire knowledge from hundreds and thousands of years ago;

10. Being able to communicate with people so far away from me in such a short time.

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Day 2 of Meditation and Day 1 of the Funnyness exercise:

The funnyness exercise is interesting... The 10 minutes of random sentences felt very strange! It feels very weird just talking to yourself for 10 whole minutes! The visualizations and affirmations went quite well. Funny to do them xD During the day I tried to be more funny and I got quite some laughs, not big ones, but some normal ones! That's something I didn't do for a long time... wow...

Did 30 minutes of meditation, some pain started to show up around the 25 minute mark, but was okay. Only remembered to visualize my mind room (can explain this if you want) in the end, but it kicked me even further down. Will do this in the beginning, next time. Didn't drift asleep which was very nice! I felt lightheaded throughout the day, might be because of the meditation, who knows.

Forgot again to notice my speech rhytm, damn! Have to notice even more.

Gratefulness (3rd day)

I'm grateful for:

11. Having such a Project Management Group;

12. Having a professor that shares some interests with me;

13. Being possible to sell used stuff that I don't need anymore;

14. Making a good deal with a nice guy;

15. Being able to order stuff from other countries which arefar cheaper than in my country (books).

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Have you done a 10-day silent retreat before? I'm on the waiting list for one in October. :o

?Nope, never did one! But I would love to do something like that! Or maybe just go camping solo for 10 days or so. Those kind of things are great to give us a direction to go in life, disconnected from anything...

You do well! Do many people want to go do such things? Maybe you could tell us some of your insights after doing it :)

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---------------------------------(Yesterday)--------------------------------

Hmm I'm in my 4th day of not gaming. I only get cravings when I see something related to MGSV! The MGS series was the game that made the transition from gameboys to console for me and I played them all! And this is like the masterpiece of Kojima! I can get along if I keep away from places that show that kind of content, but a firend of mine in the appartment is also a big fan of it and he kinda bought it for his PC \o/ It will be hard, I will have to "use extra caution" xD But I think I will be alright, I've been focused oh what I've been doing.

I was in a free webinar of Michael Hyatt. For you who don't know him, you should check him out. Mainly if you are an entrepreneur/CEO/community leader. He's very good. It was about creating a product for an online business. He said a lot of interesting things and noticed why some prices end with a 7 9_9. It ended with him recommending a course of a firend of his, costing over 2000$. I was expecting he would do something like that, because it was free. But he made it really well. Of course I didn't go for it, I don't even have the money for Cam's products :P But I would still recommend him. He gives a lot of good content for free, and I like listening to him.

Day 3 of Meditation and Day 2 of the Funnyness exercise:

While doing the funyness exercise I got distracted sometimes (drifted a bit), but noticed it and kept going. It's hard, I'll tell you that. But I guess it is what makes it interesting. I wasn't much funny in that day, there is a presentation that I have to do and it is keeping me away from funnyness :/


Did 30 minutes of meditation, and I'm sure my mind drifted way off in the last 10 minutes, because I didn't remember the last minutes before the timer going off. Will try to be more conscious and use less visualization (it kicks like a horse, almost start to dream after xD )

Forgot again to notice my speech rhytm, damn! Have to notice even more.

Gratefulness (4th day)

I'm grateful for:

16. Being so easy to watch workshops online (webinars)

17. The helpful tips that an older friend gave me to use in my next presentation;

18. Having a professor that is so rigid and serious that will evaluate the presentation;

19. Being able to meditate without conflicts;

20. The insights I've been getting in the last days.

Edited by Rodrigo
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I'm tired of living every each day just for living it. I always felt that way when gaming, but I always thought that it was the way of life. I couldn't be more wrong. I'm very happy that there are a lot of new guys joining in and giving that much important first step!

I am reaching to the conclusion that maybe I shouldn't go fully into engineering when I finish my masters. I don't want to be stuck in an office 8 hours a day! I want to work on something while I can travel around. I don't want to be stuck on a single place. What can I do? I have to examine this further...

I consider myself to be creative! I play the saxophone and had (it's inactive) an youtube channel dedicated to it. I did some noobish photography and won a couple of big competitions (macbook pro in a national competition and a lumia 1020 on a London competition), but I don't do it anymore. I filmed and edited some noobish short-films just for the heck of making them! So much stuff I can do, but it SEEMS that I don't have the time for it. I can resume my photography hobby... can be nice. I also did a bit of work on a unity game of an idea I had. It was a puzzle game. But it's stopped. ALL of these things stopped, because I returned to gaming. ALL of my projects stop, because of gaming. This cannot be repeated again... The question is, what can I do with this?...

Flickr link for the curious: https://www.flickr.com/photos/fotoverissimo/

Day 4 of Meditation and Day 3 of the Funnyness exercise:

Was more aware during the meditation, but had quite some wild imagining/thoughts.

I'm starting to see more funny things showing up! And random conversation starters that seem to work. I know it's still in the beginning, but it is helping me to return to when I was funnier (maybe before entering university?).

Noticed my speech rhythm 3 times today and corrected it. Progress!

Gratefulness (5th day)

I'm grateful for:

21. Joining this great community;

22. Having the liberty to choose paths for life;

23. My friends respecting my decision of stopping to play videogames;

24. Having so much stuff to do;

25. Being able to help others.

Edited by Rodrigo
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I would like to hear about the mind room if you have a chance to explain it. This is fascinating to me.

Also, your journal is so uplifting! I feel a bit happier since reading it.

?I'm glad if I can encourage you guys with my journal :)

The mind room? Sure! I read this in the book "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz.

Most of the things that the book covers are about teaching you how to redirect your mind to solve problems and how to maximize the problem solving. Basically you want to know exactly what your problems are (and the theory behind it) and then not worrying about them so that you can get them solved quickly. If you are stress free, your subcounscios mind will do better. For example, a pianist playing a very complex tune. He's not using his frontal cortex (conscious thoughts) to think in every moment what's the next key to play. If he did that he just couldn't do it. It's the subcounscious that's doing it. You can do it, because he already studied and practiced it. Also, if he's stressed he won't play it as well too.

So the "mind room" is a technique to apply whenever you don't have nothing to do. Like being in a bus, in a queue, before a presentation, etc... You imagine yourself climbing stairs with the thought that you are going to enter your mind room and leave all your worries out of the room. Then you reach the end of the stairs. You open the door and when you close the door everything goes silent. You can't hear anything, worry about anything. This is your
own particular space and noone can bother you there. And you just stay there examining it, relaxing.

You can design that room! Design it in a way that makes it look very comfy and relaxing to you! For example, my room has 3 of it's walls full of books, one of those walls has a fireplace and a chair facing it. On the other side of the room, the wall is basically a whole window with a view to a colossal mountain peak, full of snow. I can see the clouds underneath it, so I'm very high. Almost like my room is suspended in the air. The floor is basically a carpet. And more things..

Harry Truman did it. 'During the last days of World War II someone commented to President Harry Truman that he appeared to bear up under the stress and strain of the presidency better than any previous president, that the job did not appear to have aged him or sap his vitality, and that this was remarkable Edited by Rodrigo

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I've been thinking on making a wordpress blog. I don't know about what it is going to be about, but I'm learning how to use the platform. Will probably be of use later on.

I'm finishing "Meditations" and I have to say this is one of these books I will read once or twice a year just to ground myself. I have been feeling so grounded since I started reading it.. And I only have one next book to read. It's "The How of Happiness" by Sonja Lyubomirsky.

So it is time to order more books! :D I ordered:

  • Hooked
  • The Slight Edge
  • The Power of Habit
  • The Big Leap
  • Thinking, Fast and Slow
  • Outlines of Pyrrhonism

So I will have some material to make me entertained for some good weeks!

Day 5 of Meditation and Day 4 of the Funniness exercise:

My mind drifted quite a bit in the last 10 minutes, but was nice overall.

I keep saying that the funniness exercise is hard! It's 30 minutes of you doing it every day. It requires a lot of willpower to go through with it.

Noticed my speech rhythm 2 times today and corrected it.

Gratefulness (6th day)

I'm grateful for:

26. Being able to read reviews of everything nowadays;

27. Stopping to worry about certain things;

28. Finally having a good and working bedtime routine;

29. Being able to vote;

30. Being able to travel large distances in such a short time.

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Dang, those photos are awesome! If that is something you are passionate about, you should definitely pursue it because they look so cool!

I like the idea of the funnyness exercise, it sounds like it could really help! I was always known as the funny kid in school, but it was always self-deprecating humor to deflect the people making funarrow-10x10.png of me. It would be interesting to learn how to be funny without hating myself while doing it lol.

It sounds like you are doing really well in your journey! Life is so much better without video games, so good for you for committing to living a better life :) .

Keep the updates coming, and I hope all is well with you, friend!

?Thanks! :) Well, maybe I should return and do a 1 photo per day challenge or something...

Self-deprecating humor works if you really do it over the top! But I find other kinds of humor better.

I already did 3 months of no gaming before, so I already know what to do and it is easier to return to the path. Life is indeed much better. Life is the ultimate video game xD

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Not much to report today. I've been working hard on a presentation I have to make this Tuesday with 4 other guys. I want this to be the best presentation of this semester, because it's worth it. The professor who is going to evaluate it is the one with the most connections in the University and he's a very, very serious and critical type of an engineer. I've heard that he almost (or did) people cry (others very, very angry) after the presentation. What I told my buddies is that we will grab a notebook and write all his critics in the end and not contest him. I think he does a humbleness test. And I do want to learn from him. No point on fighting it. I'm ready for it.

Day 6 of Meditation and Day 5 of the Funniness exercise:

This meditation session was 98% conscious! I didn't feel I was drifting.

Not much to report on the funniness side, since I spent all of my day working on the presentation and spending some time with my family (at home, sadly..)

Gratefulness (7th day)

I'm grateful for:

31. Spending some quality time with my family;

32. Being ready for the presentation;

33. Loving soup;

34. Having dogs to play with;

35. Living in a peaceful country.

Edited by Rodrigo
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Not much to report today. I've been working hard on a presentation I have to make this Tuesday with 4 other guys. I want this to be the best presentation of this semester, because it's worth it. The professor who is going to evaluate it is the one with the most connections in the University and he's a very, very serious and critical type of an engineer. I've heard that he almost (or did) people cry (others very, very angry) after the presentation. What I told my buddies is that we will grab a notebook and write all his critics in the end and not contest him. I think he does a humbleness test. And I do want to learn from him. No point on fighting it. I'm ready for it.

Don't forget to tell us how your presentation goes! A huge part of my education is presentation, and it fascinates me. In architecture school, we have "critiques" where you present your designs to actual architects, and they'll give you feedback good, bad, and ugly. I've seen many people leave these things in tears, angry, thrilled, confused... name the emotion. I always make mental notes on how presentations go, what kind of feedback they get, and how the presenter deals with the feedback. Good luck!

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Hey guys! I just came from the presentation! The professor final words were "In general, your presentation was very well made!"! I guess that you guys know what my reaction was xD We are like the only group he said something like that (atleast from 1-2 years from now)! The other groups were very surprised of his reaction. My group and I were so happy that we had to go to the nearest bar and drink a beer ahahah!

This definitely gave me more excitement to go through with my blog idea. Unfortunately it will be in Portuguese, because I want to become "a local expert" in the theme I'm going to talk about. I think it will complement very well with engineering too!

Days 6 and 7 of the Funniness exercise:

I really focused on this presentation and I had to go to bed late and couldn't meditate in the morning, because there were people already wandering through the flat when I wake up (I have a steady sleep time of 7:30 hours), so I really lacked in meditation and I missed it. I will come back to it tomorrow!

Did the exercises, but didn't work to try and see funniness in the things around me. I was too focused on the presentation xD

Gratefulness (8th day)

I'm grateful for:

36. Kicking the presentation's ass;

37. The useful critique from the professor;

38. Being motivated;

39. Being happy;

40. The amount of tutorials around in the Internet!

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Thank you! :D

I did really feel accomplished! Now my group has to do even better in the final project and presentation (in December). But this presentation was also important (20% of the final grade), and to be honest it was more just to score points with the professor. I wanted to show him that we worked hard and that we are good. Took notes about some minor weak points he stated and they won't happen again in the last presentation in December.

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Nothing special today. i had a coffee meetup with my mentored freshmen and a friend of mine. 3 out of 4 showed up, i guess the other one didn't show up, because of the course's dinner that happened yesterday (heard he was a party animal, that explains it xD ). Me and my friend said several tips to them and also gave them some motivation about what they are able to do once they finish the course, etc...

Day 7 of Meditation and Day 8 of the Funniness exercise:

Ahhh the meditation felt really well! I just felt much more grounded after doing it.

Returned to look for funniness! Found some today and got some laughs.

Gratefulness (9th day)

I'm grateful for:

41. Free WordPress Themes;

42. Having interested freshmen to be mentored;

43. Having so much free time today;

44. Reading properly again!

45. Feeling so much grounded.

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Thank you! :D

I did really feel accomplished! Now my group has to do even better in the final project and presentation (in December). But this presentation was also important (20% of the final grade), and to be honest it was more just to score points with the professor. I wanted to show him that we worked hard and that we are good. Took notes about some minor weak points he stated and they won't happen again in the last presentation in December.

Scoring points with a professor is a good thing. This guy sounds like he just wants to see true competence and passion in the work. That should always be your goal anyways. Think about the throngs of people who talk about how they have a degree, but can't get a job. Do your best to grow and master your subjects. Even if you master your subjects, you'll have a lot of competition out there. The key is to be passionate and explore your field to try to pinpoint a niche that not too many people are pursuing and you feel you can be great at. I'm working on doing the same thing myself in my chosen field of academic study as well as other areas that aren't so academic.

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