Jump to content
Shine Magical

Shine Magical's journal

Recommended Posts

Its hard to keep on track when you are having a bad time, i know that. But you have to stay strong!!

Especially I feel you with the lol fact. Many games make fun, they give you a good feeling, so you get addicted. But lol, its different.. It let u feel worse, because you lose mostly 50% of your games, and so you feel shit in 50% of the time. But you still play it. So its somehow easier to stay away from it, but still so hard, because the game itself is very addicting.

try to write here again daily, so you can get some positive feedback again :) it helps as you know

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello Shine! Since you use a physical journal already, I suggest you try this: start your day by writing down as many pros and cons you can think of to gaming. Be really thorough, think deeply into yourself, and find what the games do that is to your future self's benefit and what is to your future self's disadvantage. Because where you are now is the sum of the choices you made before, but the choices you make today are defining who you'll be tomorrow. It's up to you and who you want to be! Try to find who you want to be, then try to meet that self expectation with actions: it brings all of us the greatest satisfaction to live according to our own values and goals. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not having to work feel so good. 😁

I roasted some chestnuts this morning, I'm drinking tea, going to do my laundry and make a smoothie, then hit the gym once stuff is in the dryer.

I've been working out fairly consistently (2ce a week at least) since earlier this year where I started tracking my workouts. Now I'm starting a pretty formal workout routine (4x a week hopefully) that's tracked in a spreadsheet. It took about 4 hours of studying to understand what to do lol but I'm looking forward to the results that I think it'll get me.

I've already gone on 1 vacation since I got fired, will be going to LA next week, then Miami the last week of December, then I'm moving into a larger 2 bedroom right after that. This is a great time of change for me and I'm doing my best to feel good, not feel stressed, and become my best self that I can in this moment.

Edited by Shine Magical
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Damn it. I've spent probably 30 or 40 hours gaming in the past week. 😣

I'm not doing the stuff I said I'd be doing and the stuff I was somewhat excited to do. I feel guilty for using my time this way but I also don't want to stop??? The stuff I wanted to do no longer seems interesting because now gaming feels so damn good.

What a mess.

Edited by Shine Magical

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok. The HDMI cord I ordered last week came today. I’ll be hooking up my laptop to my TV which will be creating an automatic block to playing League. It also will help me watch anime since I won’t need to covert the videos and put them on a USB. Excited about moving past this recent stumble of mine.

 

I’m also officially starting a new 90 day detox. I think I need it badly.

12/17, Day 0.

Edited by Shine Magical
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was in Miami for a week so obviously no gaming.

1st day when I got back, also no gaming.

But the 2nd day back, my bf started playing video games and it triggered me and made me want to play games too so I did. I've played like 7 games already in 24 hours. Shit

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I came here after year and half and still struggling with addiction and life. Feel free to pm me if you want or if you have cravings or bad mood whatever. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm still struggling with my addiction (cringing as I write addiction) and I'm frustrated. I've probably spent about 8 days total playing video games in the past 2 months.

The realization came to me today.

I was on vacation in Canada for a week and came back yesterday. When I was in Canada I worked out every single day. I didn't have internet access, except through hotspot through my phone. I was bored at times, took it slow, but it was good. I did a good job feeding myself and ate frequently and until I was full. I spent 2.5 - 3 hours every time at the gym and had really good workouts. Today, it was my intent to work out again. But at the gym, all I could think about was going home to play League. I was distracted, didn't really want to be there, wasn't that productive. I cut the workout short even though I was having no problem lifting the weights.

I've had enough and I don't want my life to continue this way. Playing video games is fun! But it's making everything else less fun and then I can only think about playing video games much of the time. It's really bothering me, I wish I could just stop. It's my intent to stop playing now. I don't know how long I'll be able to hold onto this determination, but I want to work out and not feel distracted. I don't want to think about League of Legends very much. I want to eat a lot and feed my body, not make quick fix foods so I can go back to playing League (and eat them in a choppy way that is dictated by the flow of the game). I've uninstalled the game (again, for the 1293i03587-912th time).

Today is day zero!

 

Edited by Shine Magical

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have done a lot of positive things during the last few months too though, I want to write that too and not focus entirely on the negatives (which is something I have a habit of doing).

I've made some significant improvements in my personal life and in organizing my life. I've refocused on some of my hobbies and cut out others that I felt weren't really doing it for me anymore. I look pretty attractive physically and I think I've gotten a bit smarter. I think my relationship is going well too and I've gotten confidence in some other ways.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good to see you again (actually for me it's first time). Last time I saw your journal there were no new posts for over a month, and I was wondering if you would come back. What if this attempt is going to make it?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, mattso said:

What if this attempt is going to make it?

Well, that would be interesting!

In order to not relapse again, I feel like I would need to make at least 4 friends that want to hang out on a regular basis to keep me busy. I think that is the only thing that would be able to keep me distracted and happy enough with how I spend my time to not go back to gaming.

 

It's interesting how naturally this sentence came out of me, although I never really thought about it before. I'm always so focused on my individual activities and being productive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Eek. It's only been 4 hours and already I was telling my boyfriend how I feel like breaking my resolution to not play video games anymore.

The pull of my habit of playing League of Legends late at night is strong...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The first 2 days were challenging, but after that I got very into doing errands and catching up on stuff.

Today, I feel another urge though and it's challenging for me to stay on track. My boyfriend just left for a work trip and it's raining outside... it's the perfect setting to play video games. ☹️

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Or it's the perfect setting to revisit your goals and standards for yourself! It's a chance to replace the triggering setting by connecting it to something else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, fawn_xoxo said:

Or it's the perfect setting to revisit your goals and standards for yourself! It's a chance to replace the triggering setting by connecting it to something else.

I couldn't think of anything else to do other than chores like doing laundry (which I need to do badly) or watch TV...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unfortunately, I played some video games yesterday. I don't know. The setting was just so strong and I couldn't think of anything else that could help pass the time.

I said yesterday that I'd only play 3 games and then stop playing. I played 2 then decided to uninstall... but later in the night I wanted to play more so I re-installed.... now I'm playing again this morning. Oh, man!!!!!!! I'm already quickly falling back into my gaming routine. Wah. I need to help myself!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't want to sound rude, but I'm just curious as a fairly new member. You created this journal 2,5 years ago, and you're still going. What makes so that you keep going in this game-no game-game-no game rhythm? How do you generally feel about this period? Do you feel like you're still making progress?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/12/2019 at 3:52 AM, mattso said:

I don't want to sound rude, but I'm just curious as a fairly new member. You created this journal 2,5 years ago, and you're still going. What makes so that you keep going in this game-no game-game-no game rhythm? How do you generally feel about this period? Do you feel like you're still making progress? 

The period where I didn't game for over a year was when I was studying for a certification and simply didn't have time to do anything else otherwise I wouldn't have passed.

Lately I seem to be in a place where I don't game for a good amount of time, then play games for a few days and then stop again by uninstalling to ensure I keep doing other things. But I need to stay in a "I am quitting" mindset because otherwise gaming will become a  daily habit for months at a time, which is something I don't want. It would likely be better if I didn't play (because of the risk of it becoming a longer-term habit) at all but sometimes I slip up!

Edited by Shine Magical
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...