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Shine Magical

Shine Magical's journal

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Its hard to keep on track when you are having a bad time, i know that. But you have to stay strong!!

Especially I feel you with the lol fact. Many games make fun, they give you a good feeling, so you get addicted. But lol, its different.. It let u feel worse, because you lose mostly 50% of your games, and so you feel shit in 50% of the time. But you still play it. So its somehow easier to stay away from it, but still so hard, because the game itself is very addicting.

try to write here again daily, so you can get some positive feedback again :) it helps as you know

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Hello Shine! Since you use a physical journal already, I suggest you try this: start your day by writing down as many pros and cons you can think of to gaming. Be really thorough, think deeply into yourself, and find what the games do that is to your future self's benefit and what is to your future self's disadvantage. Because where you are now is the sum of the choices you made before, but the choices you make today are defining who you'll be tomorrow. It's up to you and who you want to be! Try to find who you want to be, then try to meet that self expectation with actions: it brings all of us the greatest satisfaction to live according to our own values and goals. 

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Not having to work feel so good. 😁

I roasted some chestnuts this morning, I'm drinking tea, going to do my laundry and make a smoothie, then hit the gym once stuff is in the dryer.

I've been working out fairly consistently (2ce a week at least) since earlier this year where I started tracking my workouts. Now I'm starting a pretty formal workout routine (4x a week hopefully) that's tracked in a spreadsheet. It took about 4 hours of studying to understand what to do lol but I'm looking forward to the results that I think it'll get me.

I've already gone on 1 vacation since I got fired, will be going to LA next week, then Miami the last week of December, then I'm moving into a larger 2 bedroom right after that. This is a great time of change for me and I'm doing my best to feel good, not feel stressed, and become my best self that I can in this moment.

Edited by Shine Magical
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Damn it. I've spent probably 30 or 40 hours gaming in the past week. 😣

I'm not doing the stuff I said I'd be doing and the stuff I was somewhat excited to do. I feel guilty for using my time this way but I also don't want to stop??? The stuff I wanted to do no longer seems interesting because now gaming feels so damn good.

What a mess.

Edited by Shine Magical

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Ok. The HDMI cord I ordered last week came today. I’ll be hooking up my laptop to my TV which will be creating an automatic block to playing League. It also will help me watch anime since I won’t need to covert the videos and put them on a USB. Excited about moving past this recent stumble of mine.

 

I’m also officially starting a new 90 day detox. I think I need it badly.

12/17, Day 0.

Edited by Shine Magical
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I was in Miami for a week so obviously no gaming.

1st day when I got back, also no gaming.

But the 2nd day back, my bf started playing video games and it triggered me and made me want to play games too so I did. I've played like 7 games already in 24 hours. Shit

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I came here after year and half and still struggling with addiction and life. Feel free to pm me if you want or if you have cravings or bad mood whatever. 

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