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Fagus

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Hey, I liked that you changed your eating habits!

I only eat meat because of convenience. But if I could avoid it without putting effort to it, I'd tottaly do it! I do try and eat less food derived from suffering, though.

Congrats on your 9th week!

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Hey, I liked that you changed your eating habits!

I only eat meat because of convenience. But if I could avoid it without putting effort to it, I'd tottaly do it! I do try and eat less food derived from suffering, though.

Congrats on your 9th week!

Thanks Reno!

I know that you are in living in Japan. So I am interested in the food you eat there. I heard that the traditional japanese diet is really healthy, with lots of different vegetables, algae and many soy products, with the worlds best diet originating from Okinawa. There is a lot of food that you can't buy in Europe and I've been told, that people in Japan spend a lot more money on their food than people in Europe.

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well, to be honest, I'm not really much interested in food. I'd be glad to just get energy straight from the sun, but that is not a possibility unless you were born in kripton.

but, yea, traditional japanese cuisine is said to be healthy, but i don't think everyone eats traditionally in their houses. it's just the eating habits, really. i remember when i was a kid i hated vegetables but here children eat them on a regular basis. another thing i noticed very quickly is that the amount of food/$$$ is way less than in western countries. For example a large sized meal in a mcdonalds here would be like the medium size in the US. also, there is way less sugar in sweets. i can't eat anything sweet made in Brazil anymore, because i think it is too sweet. even my favorite chocolate became too sweet for me!

i do like french, italian and spanish cuisine, though. italian is my favorite!

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Day 66:

I just went through everything that has been written in my journal so far and want to make a small interim report.

 

Interim report:

 

What has changed so far:

I’ve bought respawn and quit gaming on 4th of august, so 66 days of not gaming till now.

Books I’ve read:          Daring Greatly and How Not To Die.

New activities:              Colin inspired me to start freeletics. I now use both the bodyweight and running app on a regular basis. This improved not only my fitness, but my mood as well.

I tried autogenic training and meditation (calm, headspace). I made only a little progress, but I realize the immense value of this practice.

Nutrition:                      I’ve started a whole food plant based nutrition based on the book “How Not To Die” and the videos on nutritionfacts.org.  

Dealing with cravings:

At the beginning, I used my fear of ruining my life with games to quit gaming and resist my cravings. So far I could keep at it, but this will not work in the long term. The fear gets less with every successful day. By now I catch myself making plans for moderate gaming, which will lead to a massive relapse.

As of late, I discovered a different approach: I can simply decide to resist my cravings. Cravings are just an emotion like every other emotion. There is no need to give in to emotions. I try not to give in to fear and anger as well. There is no need to play my fear off against my cravings. When the desire for gaming emerges, I recognize it and let it fall.

If I ever want to lead a self-reliant life, I need to become responsible for myself as well as for my emotions.

 Insights:

I found Cam’s videos extremely helpful and can only recommend them to everyone on this journey. I still try to watch them frequently. There is a lot of valuable information in these videos, not only on the subject of gaming, but also about self-improvement and motivation.

Here are some insights I collected:

Perseverance is the key to success, since only a long-term commitment leads to progress. You will face a lot of struggle and failure, but progress means to overcome resistance and fear in order to learn, grow and improve. And given that you’re waking up every single day, you could as well just go for it since courage is not the absence of fear, but the determination to go for it anyway.

You will always lack the energy to make the change you need until you make a decision that you are committed to changing no matter what - "lack of energy" be damned.

Do this for yourself and be proud of yourself. You don't need the approval of anyone else. In fact, no one else can measure what you are going through as well as you do.

 Goals:

I want to slow my life down a bit, by doing everything more slowly and thoughtfully, like reading, eating, listening to people and let them finish speaking. Gaming made me quite hectic and I don’t need this anymore. I’m not missing out on anything.

I need to socialize. It is easy to get connected if you stay calm and open. Everyone has some story or some personality trait that you will find interesting. Finding out what it is, is half of the fun.

I want to stop devaluating others to get them down on the level of the thoughts I have about myself. I rather should accept my own imperfection and the one of others. Honest imperfection, vulnerability and daring greatly, is what makes me amiable. Smiling at people, being polite and wishing them nothing but the best does not hurt and goes a long way. Getting rid of my negativity and focusing more on the bright sides of life could improve my life considerably.

I want to try to love myself thoroughly and take responsibility for me and my life.

I want to continue establishing the healthy habits I’ve started:

  • enjoying nature
  • eating healthy
  • exercise regularly
  • meditate
  • write a gratitude journal
  • personal improvement

 

Edited by Fagus
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Day 68:

I am really grateful that I've started this detox. I've read in my old journal and realized that I tried to change my life so many times, but gaming kept me from taking action. Not that everything is sunshine and rainbows now, but there is actual change happening and this is worth way more than gaming ever has been.

I ordered three new books to tackle some of my most important problems:

  • Love yourself like your life depends on it
  • The Solution to Social Anxiety
  • The Confidence Gap

I'm quite thrilled to see where this leads to.

 

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So many books I wanna read. The list never ends!

What are you reading now?

I am using a tool called Blinkist. It only has non-fictional books (I don't enjoy fiction myself). It does not give a summary, but rather tells you the essentials of the book in 15-20 minutes while leaving out all the story and side-text to fill up the books. I really enjoy this and use it to read 1 book every day. More knowledge is more power.

However, I also know that there is a large group who prefers and/or needs the entire story and side-text to gain the complete holistic understanding of the books. I, however, rather read many different books and content and opinions and knowing 80% of the book in 20% of the time.

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@Reno F: I started with Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.

@Yellow:   Blinkist seems interesting, though I enjoy reading an actual book a bit more than staring on a screen and you don't get something to fill your shelf with. Another point is, that I assume you need some time to let the information sink into your brain. Maybe 20 minutes is too fast for so much information? What is your experience?

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Day 70: 

 

I love myself.

 

In my head, I said these words a hundred times today. It still feels awkward.

I yearn for appreciation, I always did. That made me dependent on the approval of others. It corrupted my behaviour.

If I love myself truely and deeply, I don't need the approval of anyone else anymore. I think, not loving myself is the worst mistake I could make. Self-hatred led to all the problems I am facing now. Self-compassion and simply loving myself will pave the way to this best version of myself. I love myself. I need this love. I deserve this love and I am the only one who can give this love.

I like the question: What would I do if I truely and deeply love myself?

This is so powerful. It makes decisions easy. There is a lot I'd do for someone that I love, why not show the same compassion and care for myself? I love myself, therefor I will take care of myself. I will protect myself from any harm and do anything necessary to help myself.

You can't love others, if you don't know how to love yourself. The worst critic has lived in my head. Not anymore. I love myself.

 

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Day 72:

I just watched an ad for a game on my smartphone. And it essentially said:

Play this game, it's really addictive. Leave your everday problems behind you, forever. Unless you quit.

Thanks for the honesty, but that's exactly what I don't need.

  • Yes, I got a lot of problems.
  • Yes, I'd like to leave them behind.
  • Yes, I know that I will get addicted to anything that let's me escape from my problems.

But if it only works until I quit, it's nothing else than a temporary escape, while all I need is a final solution.

 

And I have been working on that solution lately. I started the next book The Solution To Social Anxiety and it's great! It perfectly describes my situation and offers a plan for a real solution. The core of my anxiety is my belief that I'm not worthy of anything. But this is something I already tackled with the previous book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It,  something I really implement into my life. At every challenging situation I tell myself "I love myself" instead of "You gonna fail anyway" and this is an amazing shift.

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Day 76:

There are only two weeks left until I'll finish my detox. The chance of relapsing in this time is zero, but what I fear instead, is a relapse after the detox. I've set this goal of 90 days for me and I'm really committed to doing it. But I'm tempted to restart with "moderate" gaming after that. Well, let's see what's going to happen in the meantime.

So far, I've got a new goal: I want to reach an age of 100 years. I'm certain it is possible under the right circumstances so I gave it a thought. There are mainly three factors that contribute to long-lasting health:

 

100_years_mind_map.thumb.PNG.ab5837530ad

 

Body:

Nutrition:

  • The convergence of scientific evidence has shown, that a whole food plant-based diet with Vitamin B12 and D supplementation is the most healthy way to go. I'm doing so for over 3 weeks now. It's sometimes rough, but as long as you focus on the abundance of healthy foods you can actually eat, it is easier to abandon those unhealthy choices.
  • It is important to keep the body hydrated. I still have to switch to green tea, which is apparently one of the biggest health promoter.

Exercise:

  • Strength training to fight muscle atrophy which occurs at a higher age. I'm doing body weight training regularly.
  • Endurance training for the cardiovascular system. Here I focus on running and cycling with some swimming in the summer.
  • Flexibility training like gymnastics or yoga, to maintain mobility and protect the joints. On of my least preferred subjects, but this habit could prove to be overly useful at higher age to keep mobile. I really don't want to use one of those walkers when im elderly.

Relaxation:

  • Sleep and regular practice of meditation for recovery. So far, 7-8 hours a day of sleep seem to suffice. I have still trouble with meditation. Maybe I search for something else.

 

Mind:

Mindset:

  • Maybe the single most important factor overall is a positive mindset. Optimism is a life saver, health promoter and can prevent depression. This has to be practiced everyday. I still like the auto-affirmation "I love myself", but I know as well, that I still have to do a lot of work in this field.

Growth and challenge:

  • Exercise for the body can be compared with growth and challenge for the mind. In order to prevent degenerative diseases, one has to constantly make use of and improve one's mental capabilities. I find this the easiest one, since I'm and avid reader and really like to discuss and learn something new.

Recovery:

  • As the body needs recovery, so does the brain. This can be done by sleeping or meditating.

 

Soul

Spirituality

  • Spirituality, belief, faith or religion, whatever you may call it, it is an important factor, since it can give you a meaning in life and hope in dark times. Since I'm an atheist, this is a problem for me. At the moment, I read a lot about philosophy and think about pantheism. That's no deism, but at least some theism. After all, one has to believe in something and apparently, people live longer who are religious and attend church regularly.

Social

  • This is the most important factor for a long life, next to a positive mindset. I've seen huge studies, which are showing, that neither money nor a good health is important, but good relationships. Obviously, everyone needs love. An intact family, good friends and a friendly community are also a major contributor to long-lasting happiness. I'm in a stable relationship and want to marry in the next year or so, so love is fine. But my main concern is friendship and community. My social anxiety is a hughe blocker here, but I'm aware of the problem and am already working on it.

 

Those are my thoughts, so far. What's your opinion on this matter? Is there anything missing in my theory?

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I have heard once that too much green tea isn't that healthy either, so you probably want to inform yourself about that as well. Could also be untrue, just wanted to throw this in^^ I don't know if you've tried Yoga yet but my first experience with it was great. I was very very skeptic about it in the beginning but I plan to go to Yoga class again as soon as I can (which will be in 4 weeks hehe)

I can relate to the Spiritual problem that you have, but feel free to believe in whatever you like to. I can confirm that I had my most productive times when I believed that "God would challenge me and make it as hard for me as possible" without actively interfering with me, even though on the other hand I never believed in any kind of God at that time but I hope you get my point. I made it to help myself with my goal in the end. I was also quite young at that age, so I would probably formulate it differently this time ;)

Overall your plan seems really really awesome, I love it. Did you make this picture yourself?

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It helps me to think I'm part of a bigger scheme, I call it Nature (which is true, of course, but I mean it ina spiritual level).

It had helped me during harder times to think like that, but I'm afraid I can't put it in words right now. Perhaps meditation provides a similar soothing experience, as it helps you connect with the present. I feel empowered in the most humble way possible (does this even make any sense?) when I think that "I am nature". As I said, hard to put it into words.

You will find your spirituality, just remember it is a personal thing.

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I like the whole 100-years old goal thing. It's ambitious but completely reachable.

Spiritual ideas are hard to translate into words. I'm an atheist aswell, and also quite interested in philosophy. Nihlism, the whole idea that nothing has intrinsic value, and so it fall upon ourselves to define what is meaningful to us, is an interesting one, but something you'vre probably already thought about.

Personally I feel attracted to buddhism, since it's as different from a religion something can be while still being a religion. I found that it simply makes sense. Everything is connected etc. Also, as Reno said, viewing yourself as one part of Nature really gives you some kind of peace.

I'm just rambling, since this is a subject I'm uncertain of myself. It'll be interesting to see if you manage to find some answers.

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I don't know if you've tried Yoga yet but my first experience with it was great. I was very very skeptic about it in the beginning but I plan to go to Yoga class again as soon as I can (which will be in 4 weeks hehe)

Overall your plan seems really really awesome, I love it. Did you make this picture yourself?

I will definitively try yoga. I'm happy that you approve my plan. I made the mindmap with coggle.

 

It helps me to think I'm part of a bigger scheme, I call it Nature (which is true, of course, but I mean it ina spiritual level).

It had helped me during harder times to think like that, but I'm afraid I can't put it in words right now. Perhaps meditation provides a similar soothing experience, as it helps you connect with the present. I feel empowered in the most humble way possible (does this even make any sense?) when I think that "I am nature". As I said, hard to put it into words.

I understand your idea. The feeling when you look into a sky full of shining stars, your mind being completely silent, you feel humble and yet connected to this amazing beauty and thus feel empowered.

 

I like the whole 100-years old goal thing. It's ambitious but completely reachable.

Spiritual ideas are hard to translate into words. I'm an atheist aswell, and also quite interested in philosophy. Nihlism, the whole idea that nothing has intrinsic value, and so it fall upon ourselves to define what is meaningful to us, is an interesting one, but something you'vre probably already thought about.

Personally I feel attracted to buddhism, since it's as different from a religion something can be while still being a religion. I found that it simply makes sense. Everything is connected etc. Also, as Reno said, viewing yourself as one part of Nature really gives you some kind of peace.

I'm just rambling, since this is a subject I'm uncertain of myself. It'll be interesting to see if you manage to find some answers.

I found that death is extremely important to find a meaning in life. I can easily sort out unnecessary stuff in my life when I remember that I will die and that death will end a lot of things I thought to be important.

Another thing I feel attracted to is Taoism, though it is also no religion but more a philosophy.

 

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Day 78:

Only 12 days left and I'm so close to relapsing :-(

The only thing I can think about at the moment is to reinstall and play World of Warcraft. I know that my friends are playing and waiting for me. If it wasn't for this 90-day-detox I would have already done it.

I'm at day 24 of my whole food plant based diet. I've quit eating anything animal based like meat, fish, eggs, dairy and any processed food too. It is sometimes hard to resist but the amount of plant based choices I've discovered is amazing. When I feel tempted to eat anything unhealthy, I immediately focus on something healthy and tasty instead. I eat an astonishing amount of fruits and vegetables and try something new every day. I've massively enriched my diet and I feel great!

The problem is, I just can't transfer this into my gaming detox. I know that I have to focus on all the new things I could do, to turn my thoughts on something interesting instead of gaming. But I fail. I still do exact the same activities I've done before, except gaming. Now with a current wave of stress, I'm tempted to fall back into my old patterns with gaming as my go-to activity for temporary escape and stress relief.

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I feel you. I had very similar situation towards the end of my first detox. It felt really hard to find anything other than gaming interesting, but then I accidentally met with a friend who recommended me a hobby that sounded worth the shot. I think it's a great idea to look for new activities. After finding my hobby quitting games got substantially easier and life started to roll onwards. Strength to your journey – I'm sure you'll find your way through! :) 

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