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My Journal - Matthias


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Day 17

?Make sure you're stretching! That will help a lot with soreness.

I remember being in Austria and experiencing the awkwardness of small talk. Remember that this is a process and part of that process is experiencing the awkwardness and then adapting and finding ways to push past the initial resistance. Although it may not be normal in Austria, one way you can think about it is that them leaving right away has more to do with their autopilot more than it has to do with them not being interested in the conversation. Keep testing it out, maybe try adding a quick question before the baiting statement to draw their attention. Make sure you are smiling and being relaxed. Sometimes if I sense they aren't too engaged at the start, I will focus more on talking to them again before I leave once they have a bit more familiarity with me.

And I will say, I remember being in Austria at a cafe and having an extended conversation with the baristas there who were interested in how I was working on my laptop. So although it didn't happen every time, it did happen. Keep going. :)

Edited by Cam Adair
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Day 18

?Haha it's all good man, it's good learning for you anyways. Maybe what you want to try is to find an event you can attend where it's a bit more expected for people to socialize, and then try the techniques out there.

(Ironically, that's tomorrow's mission. ;))

Edited by Cam Adair
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?Good job with the cold shower! They aren't easy! Crazy Austria is so cold right now. I'm off to Thailand tomorrow and it was 41C there today. O.o

With the girl if you've been chatting do one of two things:

1) Grab her number and give her a call, chat for a few minutes and then make plans to hang out.

2) If #1 doesn't feel good, just figure out what her schedule is this week and tell her you want to see her. Find a time and then have something cool like grabbing coffee and walking to a park arranged.

If she says no which would be weird it's all good, your mission is just to ask her and express yourself without filtering it. You like her, you want to see her and it will be fun. That's the vibe you put out.

Maybe Tyrone has some tips for the language learning?

?There's also websites on the internet that can teach you about the topic of 'getting girls' if you ever get worried.

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?There's also websites on the internet that can teach you about the topic of 'getting girls' if you ever get worried.

?If you guys have questions about getting girls, post them in the relationships section. Most of you may not know but I was a dating coach for over four years and have worked 1 on 1 with over 400 clients around the world through coaching, bootcamps, etc. Nick Hoss, one of the top dating coaches for LoveSystems (one of the top companies in the world) was my first intern. I also trained Myke Macapinlac (who's website is great by the way.)

Happy to answer questions about that stuff anytime.

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?If you guys have questions about getting girls, post them in the relationships section. Most of you may not know but I was a dating coach for over four years and have worked 1 on 1 with over 400 clients around the world through coaching, bootcamps, etc. Nick Hoss, one of the top dating coaches for LoveSystems (one of the top companies in the world) was my first intern. I also trained Myke Macapinlac (who's website is great by the way.)

Happy to answer questions about that stuff anytime.

?What are the odds, your full of surprises lol

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Day 19 & Day 20

?Great job! Especially with the cold showers! It will be relieving to have your systems sold and off your plate. I'm a huge fan of getting rid of things we no longer need. (Did you know I only travel with one suitcase and one work backpack and basically live out of this only all the time?) :D

That's great! Can't wait to hear about the next Pubquiz. If it goes well you can make it a regular thing. Remember to be a leader in sparking the conversation to go to a more meaningful place (while still keeping it light and including everyone.)

Have a great vacation, see you when you're back.

Edited by Cam Adair
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Btw i hold out more than 3 minutes today in the cold shower, i am getting better every day ;)

The next 3 days i am on a vacation with some friends and we neither have electricity nor internet there, so i wont be able to do any challenge, looking forward to the next one on monday however ;)

?respect haha, i tried cold showers. It was really exciting and got my heart racing but i struggled so hard with the shock. Got any tips on how to ease into it? Or warm up tips for after?

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Day 21.

So, i went to a coffeeshop today and payed some random guy his coffee. He thanked me a lot and said that it was the nicest thing someone has done to him in a long time and that he has a shitty job and a lot of problems in his relationship - and that i made his day a lot better. I think i am starting to understand the slight edge. That it is not the big things that make us happy, but the small things we do for other people.

Hey man! Great to have you back from your holidays. Forum is beginning to build! :D

I love how your friends thought you were crazy being in the water. One of my friends named Sam loves organizing cold lake dives every morning when we go camping. He wakes up at 6am to do it and invites anyone else to join him. He just does it as a test for himself. It's great.

Your holidays sound so fun. Did you take any pictures? How did you find the conversation? Were you more engaged? I remember going to Italy on a family vacation back when I was playing games and I didn't even care. I just wanted to be home playing online. Seems silly now but that was true for my experience at the time.

Your experience at the coffee shop was perfect. That's exactly what can happen when you take a second to acknowledge someone else and focus on how can you make their day better. See how he opened up and started sharing about himself? That was his desire inside (even if it was unconscious at the time) to connect with someone else. You just had to take the first step to show him you cared! :D :D

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Day 22.

?That's great. I definitely relate to being more interested in conversations since I quit gaming. When I was gaming my brain was caught up in just wanting to be back home gaming.

For the challenge, we might just need to tweak it a bit. On Days Day 24 and 28 you'll have two similar (but different) missions. Maybe you can do one of them twice as your Day 22 mission.

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Day 23 & Day 24

Great job with the acts of kindness! How did it feel? ?

Social service sounds good. I have some bonus missions I've been putting together so you can substitute one of those for these missions you haven't been able to do being in Austria/from a small town. I'll post those in a few days. :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi, Matthias.

I'm Jesse and thanks for sharing this journal. It's awesome that you have some serious bass guitar goals! This caught my interest as I used to play the bass quite a bit growing up (haven't played for years now)! I'm about to put some real effort into new hobbies, maybe playing around with the old bass on occasion could be a new small goal.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey Matthias! I remember you mentioning in your journal before about how going to Gamescom was a big test for you. No big deal that you played a bit, it's a good reminder of why you are doing what you're doing. Gaming for 16 hours isn't what you want your life to be like, so now keep going and refocus on the positive steps you've learned the past few months. :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

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