Hello there! - Introduction

[Pigeon]

Alright, Hello together!

My name is Tom, 19 years old and living in Germany.

After three full days of playing games on my laptop I'm really disgusted of myself. It feels like the last days only were a couple of minutes, past away so quickly. While I'm playing my head freeze and the thoughts are like heavy stones that wont move. If I'm going to bed I my head still think about the last game, the pictures still in front of my eyes. But there is always the inner voice, knowing that something went wrong, day to day. I playing games during a long time, it feels like since I was born. I think there were also involved in my depression last year, but that's an other story.

Now I'm again on that point, knowing I have to stop gaming. Several times i tried to stop taking that gaming-drug, but always I've lost the battle against the tempting videogames. I'm really sure I have to fight that addiction, otherwise the games will destroy me and my social life. I mean, I have my whole life in front of me, I do not want to spend most of time the next years living in a virtual wonderland. There is one year left in school, but I've no ideas about doing after this time. No hobby or passion that makes me happy, it's really empty inside of me.

So, I'm here to meet some likeminded people who knowing the topic. I really want to make this my last and successful fight to get my head back in reality, and for now I'm hardly motivated.

Thank you for reading this and have a nice day!

[Cam Adair]

Hey Tom!

[Fagus]

Hey Tom,

I really share your feelings. I'm also from Germany and just started my journey. If you want to write or talk with someone, please send me a message. I would really appreciate it.

[Pigeon]

Thank you!

[FedererMagic]

Hi Tom

Good luck with your journey on quitting games. Great to read that you know that you have your whole life in front of you and you don't want to spend it this way anymore. It's not always going to be easy but with the support of this community and your determination I'm sure you will succeed  .

Best of luck!!

[Pigeon]

Again, hello together!

It's been almost 5 years. I'm still Tom, but now 24 years old.
While things around me changed, I sadly can't state that for myself.
I'm studying computer science, due to my problems not really successfully though.

Gaming is once again, but not the only obstacle I'm facing right now.
My current problems arise around everything that's able to give me a quick dopamine rush.
Therefore it's pretty easy to summarize my last week: Videogames. Binge eating. Porn. On repeat.
I also notice a lot of OCD-ish (not diagnosed) behaviour around washing hands/contamination throughout the day that really is bothering me for over a year now.
Something that I certainly have to get checked by a doctor.

While knowing (and feeling) how bad and draining those activities are for me both physically and mentally, and the reason why I'm back here writing again, is that I can't stop destroying myself.
I'm pretty sure those activities are nothing more than very unhealthy ways to cope with underlying problems I don't wan't to face.
I feel like I haven't become more mature at all since I posted here first, like I'm acting a lot more childish than before.

Comparing my current situation to the one 5 years ago, it's certain to say that I got even worse and miserable.
And it's also certain to say that I will get even more worse and more miserable, and possibly crash at some point, if I'm not able to turn things around.
I just can't waste my life away anymore. I can't continue being that irresponsible. I really can't and don't want to.

So what now?

I mainly want to get back into journaling.
To explore what's going on in my head in order to see what really is going on with me.
I want to hold myself accountable at least for that.


Thank you for reading.