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Captain's Log - JSmith


JSmith

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 10.5.2016 | Post-Detox Day 2

It's almost as if people think they can just hide behind some massive wall of anonymity and just abandon the people they're involved with at whim without any repercussions...oh wait.

 

In the roleplay I started, I had 3 other authors, 6 posts and 5 were written by me. fml

Hot damn! Are you all taking turns or is it just free for all? Nice effort though.

I'd totally be down to see some of your work, if you want to share. Maybe we can even exchange samples. xD

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 10.6.2016 | Post-Detox Day 3

Several interesting moments/thoughts I've had today, in no particular order:

- Either I'm better at Dynamics than I thought, or the TA is a super easy grader. 89%. Won't make any more quick judgements until I see the exam grades.

- That being said, my Physics exam today felt like a trainwreck. Definitely need to study more.

- I'm addicted to ASMR videos...ironically they can help people sleep, but relaxing as they are my sleep quality actually goes way down.

- and ice cream (but this one's not as bad)

- I'm really interested in making money online somehow. I think having an online business with the increased flexibility is super neat, but I'm not sure if I could do it in the long run with school as well. Will need to do more research.

- A lot of what I'm reading in The Writer's Manual, surprisingly enough, I already know. But there are things I've read that I didn't know, so it's still super helpful. Only makes me want to work on my novel even more, but I still don't exactly see being an author as a career interest. Like I really just want to write one good book.

- I am SO out of the loop on karate right now. You know you've skipped too many classes when you actually don't look forward to going the next day.

- Thought about living off campus; the whole college environment is starting to wear on me, I think. I need some space. It wouldn't be too much different from what I'm already paying as well, based on one space I found. Plus I would get started on the whole learning to live independently thing early.

- Allergies suck. Lab was difficult.

- One of my roleplay partners finally got back to me, saying she was busy with midterms and that's why she waited so long. And yet I saw her on a roleplaying site just yesterday. This argument defies logic. Someone please tell me if I'm wrong.

- Been thinking a lot about interactions with my friends lately. Something is always off whenever all four of us get together; I feel like I'm always embarassing myself at one point or another. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I'm not clicking well with some of them. Some changes may be necessary. Or maybe I just don't function well in social groups. Further analysis is required.

- Social dynamics are weird in general. People change when they get into groups. It's actually quite bizzare the more I pay attention to it.

- I write a lot. I think a lot more.

- Star Wars.

Goodnight.

Edited by JSmith
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Hot damn! Are you all taking turns or is it just free for all? Nice effort though.

I'd totally be down to see some of your work, if you want to share. Maybe we can even exchange samples. xD

I just posted one more entry right now, about 17 days after the last one (also mine). It is free-for-all write-when-you-feel-like-writing style. I know every single author personaly, they have been my friends for over 10 years. I have the feeling that they only said yes to the roleplay because they were my friends ¬¬. I got a new member though, 18 years old, I hope she has more energy than the old farts I'm "playing" with.

I would share with you, but can you read Portuguese? :) Do you play on a roleplay website? In my case, I set up a blog and gave writing rights to the other members.

I don't feel confident enough to write in English. It is like, when you are young, it is ok to suck, but after you get older, the embarassment is bigger. Wait, this is not my journal, haha!

About your roleplay partner and your friends: keep engaging and being proactive, but be detached from any outcome, be it positive or negative.

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Hi there!

I recognize myself alot in you; basically all I do too is think and write. You also seem to be kinda introverted, or am I wrong?

Im curious; why do you not see novel-writing as a possible career path? I can agree with wanting to write one really good book, but why stop there; why not write, say, a hundred really good books? :P It's not like your imagination will run out, heh (even though it feels like it sometimes). I might be biased, since becoming an author is a dream of mine, but I can't see why someone who obviously also likes to write wouldn't want to live off ones novels.

Sorry for barging in and being nosy. Cheers!

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@Reno F I can't read Portugese unfortunately. It's also unfortunate that your friends don't seem as into the activity as you are. I know you have some reservations about roleplaying in English, but I would highly recommend an official roleplaying site if you really want to become better at writing. There you can see work from people of all skill levels, and interact with people who actually care about the craft. Just be sure not to get into a group that's too advanced; I've literally seen people drop out because they didn't know what they were getting themselves into. :o (and that was if they even made the cut in the first place...detailed rps are hella fun but also edgy at times)

@Simon E Yes I am quite introverted haha. I've contemplated being an author many times, and the main issue is that writing, while fun, cool and really inspiring, is not real. It's not all that different compared to gaming when you really think about it. It basically comes down to a fear of regret. Would I be okay with saying in 50 years that I was able to play some really fun games and write really cool stories? Or would I rather say that I built and did something amazing, something in the real world, something that benefits everyone? Right now I'm leaning towards the latter. Of course the answer depends on your life perspective, which I'm also currently struggling with...so it's complicated.

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 10.7.2016 | Post-Detox Day 4

I had a very nicely typed post here, but the page glitched and lost all my work...so it's gone. :S

In a nutshell: difficulty scheduling, triggers everywhere, and cult of smash. Will explain once the tilt has faded.

 

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@Simon E Yes I am quite introverted haha. I've contemplated being an author many times, and the main issue is that writing, while fun, cool and really inspiring, is not real. It's not all that different compared to gaming when you really think about it. It basically comes down to a fear of regret. Would I be okay with saying in 50 years that I was able to play some really fun games and write really cool stories? Or would I rather say that I built and did something amazing, something in the real world, something that benefits everyone?

Wuut? :D writing is as real as it gets for me, man! A poem, a novel or a song that plays on the heart strings, touching the deep of human emotions - there is nothing more valuable a human can create than a piece of art that lasts forever!

Not saying you should necessarily go for it, but don't drop it because you think it's of little value to the world! :D

Edited by flingaas
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@Simon E Yes I am quite introverted haha. I've contemplated being an author many times, and the main issue is that writing, while fun, cool and really inspiring, is not real. It's not all that different compared to gaming when you really think about it. It basically comes down to a fear of regret. Would I be okay with saying in 50 years that I was able to play some really fun games and write really cool stories? Or would I rather say that I built and did something amazing, something in the real world, something that benefits everyone? Right now I'm leaning towards the latter. Of course the answer depends on your life perspective, which I'm also currently struggling with...so it's complicated

Hmm...  That's an interesting answer, and I can agree with you to some degree. But really, following that logic, is anything real then? Just as the games aren't real when you shut down your computer, are your drawings and drawing skills real when you put away the sketchbook? Are your writing skills real when you're not writing? Is anything inside you real at all, or is it only your actions, your accomplishments that counts?

Will your life have been real once you're dead and buried? 

It's up to ourselves to define what's real, no? If someones finds fulfillment in games, that's completely fine. If someones does so in writing, that's also fine. It's all subjective. 

In a billion years time nothing matters except if you were happy while you lived. Nothing. 

Personally, I have to agree with @flingaas above (note: this is my subjective opinion). A story is a powerful thing; it can make its way deep down into ones very soul. It can inspire, bring hope, produce tears, or incite anger, sadness, nostalgia. Humans need and has always needed stories in their lives, whether it be tales told around the fire or a book to make you company on rainy days.

As I said before, I am probably biased, but it's interesting to discuss the matter anyways.

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@flingaas Oh no, I wasn't thinking about dropping writing! I just don't think it's what I want to do as my primary career. I wish I had more time to write alongside my engineering studies, but engineering in general is a lot of work. I feel like I could certainly learn to write at a high quality level without getting an English degree (plus I find English classes to be very boring)...but the same can't be said about learning how to build spacecraft. For now I have to put my focus into college. You are certainly right about the lasting forever piece though! I didn't think about that.

@Simon E You also bring up some good points. I would say the biggest conflict going on inside of me currently is this notion of what is real, and what I consider to be fulfillment in my life. If you take a look at my first post it was the very idea of chasing a sense of "fulfillment" in gaming that I started out struggling with. There are times when I've felt like I could provide a lot for the gaming community, all while having fun at the same time. But is that enough for me? There are only so many hours in the day, and clearly trying to game while being in school has not worked out well for me. So basically I'm experimenting. Focusing only on my academic pursuits for now, and seeing how I feel in the end. Of course it becomes more difficult when there are triggers left and right...contaminating the process. 

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 10.8.2016 | Post-Detox Day 5

I have to say, really excited we're all getting country banners! Looks so official! :D

Anyways, today has been a pretty productive day. Sat in the library for about 6 hours, just getting shit done. Task-oriented studying seemed to go pretty well. I'm not worried about how much I did as I know I did more than enough, which is great. Hung out with a friend afterwards for a little bit, then I actually got in some decent work on my novel idea. Making progress plot-wise, just plugging up the holes now. Then I can start making characters, which is officially where the fun begins.

Tomorrow I think I'll try the same kind of thing. Just hit the library a little bit, get some stuff done, then chill once it hits around dinner haha. Have a good day folks.

 
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Libraries are THE BEST place to study! Focus is the word.

PS: you should apologize for comparing writing with gaming! :) Writers are creators! 

PPS: i used to lurk around ongoingworlds reading some horror rps. That was when I first got interested in rp other than tabletop RPG.

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@JSmith I went back and checked out your introduction and your first journal entries (this'll probably come off as slightly weird), and I felt this fleeting sensation of connection. The more I read from you the more similarities I find with myself; the introversion, the highly analytical mindset, the competetivness, the martial arts, the confusion, the way you put your words. 

Maybe this is because of the fact that were both here, maybe a certain type of indivudials face a higher risk of becoming addicted. Maybe its pure coincidence. 

Anyhow; it felt valuable to see yourself being reflected in someone living thousands of miles away. 

Words are, as I've said before, terribly insufficient, but I want to wish you good luck anyways. I hope you'll figure stuff out.

Edited by Simon E
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I have to say, really excited we're all getting country banners! Looks so official! :D

Thanks for the feedback! I love them personally. Glad someone else does. Think it's a great way to show the community our diversity and also help to connect those in the same country!

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PS: you should apologize for comparing writing with gaming! :) Writers are creators! 

I think it depends! Gamers certainly can be content creators, depending on what they do with their enthusiasm for gaming. And games, like stories, are "content". Both are detached from the real world, and both can stir human emotion and highlight upon universal truths, something I learned from The Writer's Manual, which I actualy just finished reading last night. Blizzard Entertainment does this exeptionally well. Lore matters.

But it is certainly easier to get addicted to games than reading books. Probably because of the interaction element, I don't know. I'm no psychologist...

 

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 10.9.2016 | Post-Detox Day 6

Oh man. Talk about stirring human emotion. Didn't post last night because I was too busy binge watching a short anime series I discovered...something I do from time to time. I actually cried in the end, which I've never done before ever. What a powerful story. (insert crying emoticon here)

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JSmith | 10.10.2016 | Post-Detox Day 7

Geez, it's been seven days already??? Where does the time even go?

Had my Japanese midterm exam today, which went pretty well I think, despite some tiny shortcomings (how do you say "Please give me" in Japanese...). Also got my Physics exam grade back. Hellabad, as expected. Wait, did I expect that? I don't remember.

Went back to the post I wrote after I took it. Yes, I did.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, lots to get done, especially given, uh, yesterday's preoccupation...but it's okay! I have basically all day tomorrow, so I'm not gonna waste it. Pretty annoyed though over forgetting to go to my advising session today. I had it on my calendar, but my phone didn't notify me for some reason -_-. Will have to go tomorrow.

Finally went back to karate tonight. I'm just a tiny bit rusty, but I should be back in good shape before the tournament coming up in a couple weeks. From the looks of it, it's gonna be a big one.

I had another epiphany earlier today while walking I wanted to share with you all, but I forgot what it was...oh well. Stay cool.

 

 

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That Picture! LOL!

I remember well my first grade in Calculus 4/10. It was a slap in the face, adulthood saying "I don't give a damn about your perfect score in highschool. You're nothing in here! NOTHING!". Ah, great memories! I hope I don't sound like a senior :)

As for your question, do you mean "Please give me X"? That would be Xをください。"Please give me this" would be これをください。

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That Picture! LOL!

I remember well my first grade in Calculus 4/10. It was a slap in the face, adulthood saying "I don't give a damn about your perfect score in highschool. You're nothing in here! NOTHING!". Ah, great memories! I hope I don't sound like a senior :)

As for your question, do you mean "Please give me X"? That would be Xをください。"Please give me this" would be これをください。

Kudasai! That's right, I totally forgot haha. How do you type Japanese characters? O.o

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Captain's Log - JSmith | 10.9.2016 | Post-Detox Day 6

Oh man. Talk about stirring human emotion. Didn't post last night because I was too busy binge watching a short anime series I discovered...something I do from time to time. I actually cried in the end, which I've never done before ever. What a powerful story. (insert crying emoticon here)

*psst* What anime? I'm out of good ones to binge-watch :P 

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Go to keyboard settings and add the japanese keyboard. You need the IME keyboard, i think. I'm on the mobile now, i can check all the steps for it tomorrow, if you haven't figured it out by yourself by then!

おやすみなさい!

I got the IME keyboard. But it's not working for some reason. I'm typing the romanji, but nothing's coming up. I even tried the on screen keyboard and still nothing. All the options are in Japanese so I can't really read them...yet. I read from one article that once you switch keyboards and click the A symbol on the taskbar, it should turn into a Hiragana symbol and then you're good to go, but it never did that.

@Simon E It's called Your Lie in April. Never seen anything like it.

Captain's Log - JSmith | 10.11.2016 | Post-Detox Day 8

Damn productive day today. Had Physics in the morning, then I just hit the library, and kinda just stayed there. Left for meals and an advising session, but it's about 9:53pm and I'm writing from the fourth floor of the building. Usually I'd be in my dorm or something, but I saw no reason to leave yet. Got a lot done, but I still feel like I have so much left. The work never really stops.

Spent about the last hour or so working on my novel after Thermo HW, which was great. I've decided to dedicate at least a tiny portion everyday to making progress on that, doesn't matter when or where. I really want to get it done. Of course it's going to be a huge project, and probably the second most difficult thing I've ever done (aside from being an ME student...), but I'm tired of letting just sit in my brain for several years. I do already have quite a bit fleshed out though, like the massive backstory...good prequel material amirite?

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when the symbol is on A, you write roman characters as usual. you have to change it to hiragana, but it seems you did it and it is not working. I recall having a similar problem, but I don't remember how I fixed it. but while you fix it, I'll tell you two cool keyboard shortcuts: Win + SpaceBar changes the language of the keyboard, and when you are on the IME selected, pressing CTRL + CAPS LOCK will rotate between the modes (from hiragana to katakana, romaji, etc)

Libraries are a magic place connected to the heavens. They are sacred grounds.

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@JSmith DUDE. That was actually the first thing that came to mind when I read about your reaction. I saw it about a year ago, and even though *spoiler* you could see her death coming from miles away, when it finally happened it brought me to tears aswell. Amazing how a story consisting of 2D cartoon characters speaking (Something that for me sounds as) gibberish can play with your feelings to such a degree.

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when the symbol is on A, you write roman characters as usual. you have to change it to hiragana, but it seems you did it and it is not working. I recall having a similar problem, but I don't remember how I fixed it. but while you fix it, I'll tell you two cool keyboard shortcuts: Win + SpaceBar changes the language of the keyboard, and when you are on the IME selected, pressing CTRL + CAPS LOCK will rotate between the modes (from hiragana to katakana, romaji, etc)

Libraries are a magic place connected to the heavens. They are sacred grounds.

My IME keyboard appears to be broken. All I can do is switch to Japanese, but nothing else works, no other shortcuts, can't change modes, etc. I can't even access the IME settings - it just crashes. I downloaded Chinese using a different keyboard and it worked perfectly, but I'm not trying to learn Chinese D':

@JSmith DUDE. That was actually the first thing that came to mind when I read about your reaction. I saw it about a year ago, and even though *spoiler* you could see her death coming from miles away, when it finally happened it brought me to tears aswell. Amazing how a story consisting of 2D cartoon characters speaking (Something that for me sounds as) gibberish can play with your feelings to such a degree.

*More spoilers*

Tell me about it! I don't know how japanese anime creators do it...it's like they know how humanity works and nobody else. The part when she appeared during his last performance was heart crushing. And I think the Japanese language actually makes it more intense. It's so beautiful, you can feel the emotion in the dialogue. I re-watched the first episode of Attack on Titan with the new english dub and was like "no". English sounds weird haha.

PS: We're singing the opening of Neon Genesis Evangelion in Japanese class now...I think the instructor likes anime.

PPS: My dream is to yell something in Japanese. xD

PPPS: Actually I do that all the time...in karate. But you know what I mean.

 

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