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Journey diary


sdf

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Day 4:

I had a great day:D.

I was very occupied during theday, almost no cravings, most importantly I enjoyed what I was doing and had a great time with friends in the evening. Soooo this is what an easy day looks like..

 

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Days 5, 6:

So I am starting to feel like the weekends are easier than weekdays. The cravings are there, for sure, but they aren't nearly as powerful as usually. Again, it might be because I am very family oriented, but relapsing isn't even an issue on Saturdays/Sundays. Yesterday (day 5) was when I relapsed in my last attempt so my 'high-score' just increasedxD. Tomorrow however will be another story.. In the previous attempt it was on Monday that I relapsed. I wasn't prepared then, I know that now, so this time I will be extra careful. I guess I was still in 'weekend chill mode':S.

On another note, I am doing pretty good with 'noFap': day 11, and counting (a personal record). A down side or side effect is that I can get a hard-on very easily (and I mean easy..). Still, better this than impotence (not a necessary consequence, but it might happen).

If any new members are reading this, I am telling you: the detox is worth it! I haven't even finished it, and I am experiencing some major benefits, both on my social capabilities and self image. I cannot recommend it enough. When I was thinking about starting it or not, I was reading a lot of comments on it, like "It is worth it" and "It will change your life" and I thought: "Yeah, sure.. Go tell someone else a bedtime story". I was skeptical, to say the least, and the beginning is especially hard, not to mention that some days are just cruel, but I say it is worth paying this price if it means changing your life and way of living for good. +Awesome community:)

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Day 7:

Didn't relapse:D

I was very conscious the whole day, and paid attention to every little thing. In the late afternoon I was getting a bit surprised that the day went so smoothly. Then a type of boredom mixed with tiredness kicked in, along with a strong craving.. It was the first day since I started my detox journey when I didn't go running because I didn't want to. It is not that I like  running that much, but I love the effects that it has on me. Instead I just went to bed and slept until morning (8+ hours).

Doing the worksheets helps, they are the main reason I didn't relapse yesterday.

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Doing the worksheets helps, they are the main reason I didn't relapse yesterday.

This makes me happy to know the extra effort I put in to make those has worked!

Yepp, thank you for those! :)

 

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Ok, so I haven't posted my progress for a week, of course I relapsed..

Days 8,9: These days I was still holding on, barely though.

Than I relapsed, I think mostly because of the stress of that day/ week (uni results)...

Than I needed a few days to get back on track.
At least my high-score increased to 9 days, a new record.

Yesterday was day 0, I still gamed a few hours, but today I am back. I will post my progress of the day later (hopefully introduced as "Day 1:")

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YeppxD

Day 1:

Again day 1. I feel a bit disappointed, because I relapsed. Then again,I am not shocked as I really had a stressful day, not to mention that actually caved in under external pressure, and not internal urge.

But, on the other hand I had a really great day, and I am happy that I am in detox again.

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Day 2:

Today wasn't easy.. But I managed somehow.

A think I am changing a lot. My personality is starting to get more likeable. A friend said that I am strong willed. I was like: "Me??? Are you sure?"

 

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Day 3:

All in all I had a great day.

I managed to finish a great chunk of my work, played tennis for an hour with a friend, got a haircut, ran a 10 K and had a great conversation with my sister. On the other hand I had a big fight with my father..

The detox is going well, but I need to be more organized, and plan my days better. This is exactly why I relapsed the first time..

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Days 4,5,6:

Maaan, what a looong weekend... I had some family come over. I am tired as hell. The everyday tasks that seemed boring and uninteresting are a bliss right now.

I had a really strong urge in the morning and last night, but I resisted, which instead already made my day^_^

Now I can fully concentrate on the week ahead, and plan my days accordingly. I have been waiting for this..

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  • 1 month later...

Yepp, Journey alright..

Where do I begin..
First of, I haven't updated my online diary, because I relapsed. I know that this is not an excuse, but still, this is what happened. Mentally speaking I was in a bad place, so bad that I was actually willing to do anything to get out of it. I went to a psychiatrist. That helped a lot, and I mostly solved my social phobia issues. I am still not where I would like to be, but I am miles further than before:D. I actually met a girl, who is currently my girlfriend.

Secondly, I now know that I am still not ready to start a detox. Well actually beginning is not the problem, but consistency is. I have decided to allow a little gaming, max 30 minutes every day. I have also placed quite a few fail-safes, so that I will not exceed the time limit. I want to see how I am doing if I know that I can postpone the urges. I am of course open to suggestions from the community or anyone else. Actually I would really like to hear your opinion guys.

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Hey welcome back and good that you reached out for help. seems likeit worked out fine. Also awesome that you Journal again! For me playing in Moderation Enver worked or works. If I start palying for 30min it doesn't satisfy me at all. It just triggers me to play more. But I guess that depends on the Person. My advice woudl be to try it out and look if it works for you. If you see that it influences your life in a bad way, cut all gaming. If not, keep it that way. Just be aware of your cravings and keep your Journal up.

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