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Awesome, can't wait to hear what the community thinks!

Hey Alex!

Congrats for the 260+(-ish :D) days! I watched the whole documentary a couple of hours ago and before going to bed I thought I would like to say something.

First of all: when you quit gaming, your brother still carried on with it. Now here's how it's related to my situation. Last year I was living together with a friend of mine who is a gaming/internet addict. Even though I usually enjoyed my time with him while playing games or even while (rarely) doing some random things, he and his friends managed to pull me back to the dark side. I mean, I had quit gaming at one point like 9 months ago, but seeing him playing games under the same roof eventually made me do the same thing. With all the respect towards your brother, I still want to ask you: How do you cope with him still gaming? Do you ever find it tough? I am asking this because a BIG majority of my friends are gamers and being in their company might be harmful to me. I know for sure that the easiest way would be to forget those people and move forward but for you it was different; you were living with your own brother... Damn son, your decision to quit is the finest of examples here. I want to emphasize once more that I do not want to disrespect your family; your brother must feel some kind of pressure about whether to quit or carry on with gaming too.

The other thing is related to my own situation right now. In the video they brought up Twitch and the NZ pro-gaming scene. It was touching to see all the things there that I had just let go of. It even featured the same game I was playing all these years (League of Legends) and I actually bursted into tears when I saw something that I felt I would miss now after I quit gaming. But of course this is nothing I am angry about here, it's just something that I wanted to share here and it reflects perfectly how much emotion-filled it was for me to game. Actually I am really thankful to you for sharing this video here, Alex. :)

Then there was the point of gaming being an addiction. This was also why it was intresting to watch it til' the end. I actually wrote something about it today so I wouldn't write it again here. But in my opinion it's just true - gaming is an addiction and can be cured like any other addiction too. Now, I really hope no one gets insulted about this post, I assure to everyone that it wasn't my intention here. I just wanted to share my thoughts. 

Keep it up Alex!

 

 

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Hi @Yani!

Thank you, I’m glad you got something out of it.

It’s now been 290+ days since I started my final detox (my third one, the one I succeeded in), but it bears mentioning that it’s 99.9% video game free as I had one final game with my old gamer friends not long after I completed my detox (and I then continued to go 100% video game free). This ties in with what I’ll mention about gaming friends, which I’ll get to soon.

 

We’ve had very similar situations, it is indeed very difficult to stay out of video games when they’re on hand and if you’re living with someone who plays them a lot. Having that influence resulted in relapses in my attempts to quit gaming even before I attempted a 90 day detox, and it was a big factor in both my detox relapses. So how I cope is relatively simple now, as I just need to make sure I don’t watch him play games whenever possible. In the past I’ve struggled with this, and I’ll quote from my two 90 day detox relapses to give a bit of insight on this.

 

My first relapse (from my first attempt at the detox):

“No excuses. I've relapsed. On the last day of school I felt I needed a ‘reward’ and having been bored for weeks without games; and just started playing games when I saw my brother on Dark Souls 2. I had played about 2 hours a day since Wednesday and the guilt has crept in and my family are disappointed with my lack of commitment.

I have questioned why I am quitting gaming recently, it hasn’t actually harmed me and I have enjoyed playing them, I still get good grades so why torment myself? I then come back to the idea that I can do much more with my time and can improve myself with the time I would be spending on games.”

 

My second relapse (from my second attempt at the detox):

“Today I had decided to play an hour of Halo on my brother's new console. It wasn't very fun, and nowhere near as fun as I remember it being.”

 

So as you can see, my brother’s influence was a big factor in both relapses. Furthermore the most recent time I played games (with my old gamer friends) came as a result of them being invited over by him and that they decided to play their games IN MY BEDROOM for the night, and purchased a copy of the game for me to play (you can’t get much more influence to play then that!). I don’t mean to put any blame on my brother though, it’s not up to him to change anything he does simply because I wanted to change. The thing in common with all of these events was having the influence of one or more gamers, and that for the duration of time I was successful in quitting gaming I avoided those influences.

As you mentioned, the easiest way to succeed in quitting gaming would be to move on from those people. In my experience it was difficult at first because my gamer friends simply didn’t recognise or respect my decision to quit gaming, and continued to ask me to play with them. Luckily though, you don’t have to cut them out of your life to still not have influence to game. I’m still in contact with those people and I occasionally see them for other things such as parties and meetups, but what you’ll find is that if you minimize your contact with them temporarily, you’ll see which ones actually care about you and which of them simply were friends because you could play video games with them. It’s up to you how you deal (or not) with your gamer friends, but my experiences point to the fact that as long as they game, they still want you to play with them, and you keep close/regular contact with them, you’ll have a very strong influence to play the games which will be very difficult to overcome.

I minimized the gaming influences in my life from making sure to not watch anyone play them (in real life, online or otherwise), not reading about games, and not talking about them. However that’s just a small part of the challenge, as I needed new activities to ‘fill the void’ and make new friends that didn’t play video games.

Oh don’t worry, you haven’t offended anyone in the slightest. My brother has felt a little bit of pressure to quit gaming before, but what he does now is he tries to minimize how much he plays during important times so that he can do the best work for exams.

 

I’m sorry to hear that you felt upset when you watched the pro-gaming scene, but I think it’ll be a good indicator for you that you could perhaps have been too attached/dependent on it. Moving on from gaming requires giving up an identity of a ‘gamer’, as we’d pride ourselves in our ability to play. It hence can be very difficult to do, and often requires one to forge a new identity through picking up new activities.

 

I hope this helps you and answers your questions. All the best man! :) 

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Hi @Yani!

Thank you, I’m glad you got something out of it.

 

It’s now been 290+ days since I started my final detox (my third one, the one I succeeded in), but it bears mentioning that it’s 99.9% video game free as I had one final game with my old gamer friends not long after I completed my detox (and I then continued to go 100% video game free). This ties in with what I’ll mention about gaming friends, which I’ll get to soon.

 

 

We’ve had very similar situations, it is indeed very difficult to stay out of video games when they’re on hand and if you’re living with someone who plays them a lot. Having that influence resulted in relapses in my attempts to quit gaming even before I attempted a 90 day detox, and it was a big factor in both my detox relapses. So how I cope is relatively simple now, as I just need to make sure I don’t watch him play games whenever possible. In the past I’ve struggled with this, and I’ll quote from my two 90 day detox relapses to give a bit of insight on this.

 

 

 

My first relapse (from my first attempt at the detox):

 

“No excuses. I've relapsed. On the last day of school I felt I needed a ‘reward’ and having been bored for weeks without games; and just started playing games when I saw my brother on Dark Souls 2. I had played about 2 hours a day since Wednesday and the guilt has crept in and my family are disappointed with my lack of commitment.

 

I have questioned why I am quitting gaming recently, it hasn’t actually harmed me and I have enjoyed playing them, I still get good grades so why torment myself? I then come back to the idea that I can do much more with my time and can improve myself with the time I would be spending on games.”

 

 

 

My second relapse (from my second attempt at the detox):

 

“Today I had decided to play an hour of Halo on my brother's new console. It wasn't very fun, and nowhere near as fun as I remember it being.”

 

 

 

So as you can see, my brother’s influence was a big factor in both relapses. Furthermore the most recent time I played games (with my old gamer friends) came as a result of them being invited over by him and that they decided to play their games IN MY BEDROOM for the night, and purchased a copy of the game for me to play (you can’t get much more influence to play then that!). I don’t mean to put any blame on my brother though, it’s not up to him to change anything he does simply because I wanted to change. The thing in common with all of these events was having the influence of one or more gamers, and that for the duration of time I was successful in quitting gaming I avoided those influences.

 

As you mentioned, the easiest way to succeed in quitting gaming would be to move on from those people. In my experience it was difficult at first because my gamer friends simply didn’t recognise or respect my decision to quit gaming, and continued to ask me to play with them. Luckily though, you don’t have to cut them out of your life to still not have influence to game. I’m still in contact with those people and I occasionally see them for other things such as parties and meetups, but what you’ll find is that if you minimize your contact with them temporarily, you’ll see which ones actually care about you and which of them simply were friends because you could play video games with them. It’s up to you how you deal (or not) with your gamer friends, but my experiences point to the fact that as long as they game, they still want you to play with them, and you keep close/regular contact with them, you’ll have a very strong influence to play the games which will be very difficult to overcome.

 

I minimized the gaming influences in my life from making sure to not watch anyone play them (in real life, online or otherwise), not reading about games, and not talking about them. However that’s just a small part of the challenge, as I needed new activities to ‘fill the void’ and make new friends that didn’t play video games.

 

Oh don’t worry, you haven’t offended anyone in the slightest. My brother has felt a little bit of pressure to quit gaming before, but what he does now is he tries to minimize how much he plays during important times so that he can do the best work for exams.

 

 

 

I’m sorry to hear that you felt upset when you watched the pro-gaming scene, but I think it’ll be a good indicator for you that you could perhaps have been too attached/dependent on it. Moving on from gaming requires giving up an identity of a ‘gamer’, as we’d pride ourselves in our ability to play. It hence can be very difficult to do, and often requires one to forge a new identity through picking up new activities.

 

 

 

I hope this helps you and answers your questions. All the best man! :) 

 

Wow, indeed you answered all my questions and even more :D! It seems that indeed minimizing the gaming influences at least temporarily is the best thing to do now; as you said, the people truly caring about me would stay in my life in a way or another that way. Actually this was a huge concern for me. Mainly because I have had my own detoxes and relapses too, even though they were not like "official". Every single time the relapse was related to my friends' pressure. This made me feel better, thanks man! :)

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Wow, indeed you answered all my questions and even more :D! It seems that indeed minimizing the gaming influences at least temporarily is the best thing to do now; as you said, the people truly caring about me would stay in my life in a way or another that way. Actually this was a huge concern for me. Mainly because I have had my own detoxes and relapses too, even though they were not like "official". Every single time the relapse was related to my friends' pressure. This made me feel better, thanks man! :)

You're welcome, all the best man!

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Watched it and I loved it. And to be entirely honest, I love your dad's reaction. He seems to be really happy about the fact, that his son is so full of courage to withstand a world that is so tempting, but instead invests more time and effort into his real life. I also loved that he said, he felt a little guilty about gifting you your first gaming console. Because, I often thought about that. Kids get easily excited and will jump at those things if they are in reach. However, your father could not have known - not at all - how the gaming industry would change over the years. He just had good intentions and that is great.

As said, I just loved your parts of the documentary.

Though one thing came to my mind and I am not sure how to think about it: They showed this female streamer and I felt weird while watching her. Let me explain that: When Alex talked to the journalist, he always looked so natural. His behavior was "well adjusted". Everything he did or said did not really feel staged. The same goes for his dad. But when the girl was being interviewed, I felt that she is lacking many actual social skills. She looked like she felt insecure and she said, that she just wants to be an inspiration to other people. Now what instantly came to my mind was that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to diminish her or what she does for a living. But I felt like she found a way to replace her real personality with a virtual personality. Like, replacing the real life insecurities with a overly happy and funny virtual her. I had the same thoughts for the part, when she said that she screams a lot and thus would make people laugh. I asked myself, why is that? Might it be because people are sitting in front of their screens, feeling somewhat lonely and would instead love to sit with somebody and laugh and have fun and have a feeling of company? Is her show - and that is what it is afterall, a show - just simulating this feeling? So isn't this basically an inspiration to sit alone and simulate the feelings that you would actually want to have? As said, I am thinking about this. This is not a judgement or something, but it felt so strange to see Alex and then her. He was so entirely natural, so calm and his feelings were so ... I don't know, natural as well. If anybody has any thoughts on that, I would love to read them, because my personal point of view will only limit me.

And again, Alex, what I just watched was heartwarming and extremely motivational. I love it.

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Thanks everyone, I'm humbled that it resonated with you all so much.

I'm rather busy at the moment so I'll reply to all your comments (and some journals I read) tomorrow or in the next few days, I'm studying at 110% effort at the moment as I have important exams only a week away.

Thanks again for the support guys!

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You're famous now @AlexTheGrape!

Also is regrettable that you story was confronted to the social engineered, outright fake personality of Ms. Twitchtits but hey! At least it was not Doctor "Playing games totally makes you kill your classmates with a katana" or a senile journalist eminence that has not ever seen a videogame. Improvements!

(Absolutely personal opinion, I like the smell of political incorrectness in the morning...)

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Awesome! And the TVNZ also did a great job on the subject.

@Cam Adair you better get prepared, they are out for your head! (0:52)

Thanks! Yeah it's great that TVNZ made an effort to really get into this topic, as it's not known to be an issue by the public in general.

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Loved the documentary. I'm amazed with what you've done with your life in such a short time!

Thanks dude! Yeah there are a lot of activities you can start to replace gaming, and getting on with those have helped me with making a lot of progress during and after my detox attempts.

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Watched it and I loved it. And to be entirely honest, I love your dad's reaction. He seems to be really happy about the fact, that his son is so full of courage to withstand a world that is so tempting, but instead invests more time and effort into his real life. I also loved that he said, he felt a little guilty about gifting you your first gaming console. Because, I often thought about that. Kids get easily excited and will jump at those things if they are in reach. However, your father could not have known - not at all - how the gaming industry would change over the years. He just had good intentions and that is great.

As said, I just loved your parts of the documentary.

Though one thing came to my mind and I am not sure how to think about it: They showed this female streamer and I felt weird while watching her. Let me explain that: When Alex talked to the journalist, he always looked so natural. His behavior was "well adjusted". Everything he did or said did not really feel staged. The same goes for his dad. But when the girl was being interviewed, I felt that she is lacking many actual social skills. She looked like she felt insecure and she said, that she just wants to be an inspiration to other people. Now what instantly came to my mind was that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to diminish her or what she does for a living. But I felt like she found a way to replace her real personality with a virtual personality. Like, replacing the real life insecurities with a overly happy and funny virtual her. I had the same thoughts for the part, when she said that she screams a lot and thus would make people laugh. I asked myself, why is that? Might it be because people are sitting in front of their screens, feeling somewhat lonely and would instead love to sit with somebody and laugh and have fun and have a feeling of company? Is her show - and that is what it is afterall, a show - just simulating this feeling? So isn't this basically an inspiration to sit alone and simulate the feelings that you would actually want to have? As said, I am thinking about this. This is not a judgement or something, but it felt so strange to see Alex and then her. He was so entirely natural, so calm and his feelings were so ... I don't know, natural as well. If anybody has any thoughts on that, I would love to read them, because my personal point of view will only limit me.

And again, Alex, what I just watched was heartwarming and extremely motivational. I love it.

Hi Robert,

Thanks for taking the time to write a long response, I really appreciate it.

I like your take on my dad’s reactions and thoughts on gaming, it would be similar to a lot of parents out there. There are many hidden costs of investing time in virtual realities and virtual worlds whether they be on TV or in video games, as many can eventually decide they like to spend their time in the virtual world rather than face their real world problems.

I’m really glad you liked the documentary, it seems you took a lot out of it.

I don’t know about the Lorien’s personality, I actually have had zero contact with her, but I agree that it is likely to be partially or mostly acting because her service is entertainment after all. I won’t comment on her level of social skills as that can’t really be judged from a short video, but you could well be right. In any case it could be considered You could be completely right with the streamer, her intentions of being ‘inspirational’ seems to be irrelevant because the most likely things streaming would ‘inspire’ people to do would be to spend more time playing video games, to donate money, and watch her streams. Yep you’re right, playing games IS all about stimulating feelings, as the accomplishments and friends made online simply don’t last when you turn off the computer.

So yes I’d agree that there is a stark contrast in how genuine the streamer and myself seemed, and it might reflect how we approach life in general (i.e. I’m for getting on with real life, she’s for making the most of the virtual world). Of course this is just my opinion, so you can take out of it what you like.

Thanks again for your response, it gave some great points to think about.

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Whoa, you've never said to me that you have a twin that looks just like you! :D

We should talk more often than just 1 time. Despite the time zone!

How have you achieved to be featured on TV? :)

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Haha yeah I don’t really need to tell people online that I have a twin though, there’s not much chance of meeting him (especially on this community)!

Yeah sure thing, just let me know when you’d like to talk.

Yes I have aspired to be on TV a little, but I didn’t expect it to be about gaming or it to happen so early in my life! :D

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