New Member. In Need Of Help

[Half_Natty]

I will keep this as short as possible, and very simple.

Hi, Let's go with the name Natty. Im 21 years old. i live with my parents and i've dropped out of college. Because all i wanted to do is game. I've been gaming for 12 years ... heavily. I played at one point Dota 2 for 5 years straight. Everyday on steam. I am good at gaming, amazing actually. I stopped Dota and i started playing cs go and it's gotten worse... I started spending real life money. I now have -150$ ! In my card... I bet it all and lost all my items. Point being, i lack discipline and self control and i know that. Point being guys, i know alot of you are going through what i am going through, I feel like a failure, accomplished nothing in life. broke etc... The positives would be. I have a GF of 2 years who has helped me in so so many ways. I also have lost 65 pounds and i am interested in fitness and have been gyming, lately i gave in tho... I gained some pounds back, stop gymming.. GF is in another country for the summer. I know what needs to be done. Delete the game, which i did but i'll relapse and spend more money .. I've done that so many times. I should focus on gyming again. Healthier habit etc.. I know all that, my issue is. HOW?!? I keep failing, I am not motivated enough... I am doing nothing. i am stuck in life, curse you addiction .. You've ruined me ..

[Cam Adair]

Hey Natty! Welcome to the forum, awesome to have you join us here. This is a turning point for you and you'll find a very supportive community here that has your back!

[Stercus accidit]

Welcome
From me:
 Don't be upset of your fails. You have to accept them. You have to learn how to "walk" again and nobody has ever done that immediately. You have to start with the smallest steps. - Create a day schedule; Work on your sleep and eating habits; try to overcome your anxiety at least once per day; talk with your family and girlfriend as much as you can; go outside and look around there is always something interesting to notice

And yes you will fail, fail fail ...... but those fails are special. They come from you trying to change your life

Edited June 15, 2016 by Stercus accidit

[WorkInProgress]

Hi and welcome Natty,

a good start is to start a daily journal where you count your game free days and just write down your struggles and experiences. This doesn't have to be only about gaming. This journalling was one of the most important points for my successful detox.  Maybe check out some other journals and then you will see what struggles we all had and how we dealt with it.

 First step is to delete every game and make the access to games as hard as possible. Delete your steam account. Clear your youtube and search history. Block sites who remind you of gaming and might trigger you with browser apps like leechblock(howto-blocking-websites-with-keywordson-firefox/). Basically make it as hard as possible to come back into games. I would avoid anything e-sport related in your case,.

Be aware of that you won't change everything at once. So focus on one thing in a time and do this thing every day. Then slowly add postive habits(maybe one every 2 weeks or if you feel like it). Try things again who worked for you in the past. Make a training schedule and commit here to go atleast 2 times per week to the gym. Maybe it will work maybe not but if you keep writing about it you will at least reflect on the reasons and will make it work.

Everyday try to imrpove a little bit. Here is a number which shows you what happens if you improve/decline for 1% everyday:

We are all here for support and there are many people here who can give you nice tips and share their own experiences. Explore new things you find interesting and try them out for one or two weeks.This can be everything(learn a language, martial arts, painting , writing or making music). The main thing is that you keep yourself busy and try to get new experiences. Then you will be able to find a new identity besides gaming.

Good Luck, together we can do this.

 

[Half_Natty]

Hey guys thanks For the kind words. Sadly i've relapsed heavily today and im beyond frustrated at myself for doing so, my bank balance is now -212 because i decided to use 40$ To bet it on skins hoping to get better, in such way i'd be able to play back again ... Sadly i lost it all AGAIN. What do i do when i have this strong craving urge, i've been going through it all day, and i've failed right now and it got the best of me ... Seriously i can not believe how irresponsible and addicted i am ..

[Cam Adair]

Hey guys thanks For the kind words. Sadly i've relapsed heavily today and im beyond frustrated at myself for doing so, my bank balance is now -212 because i decided to use 40$ To bet it on skins hoping to get better, in such way i'd be able to play back again ... Sadly i lost it all AGAIN. What do i do when i have this strong craving urge, i've been going through it all day, and i've failed right now and it got the best of me ... Seriously i can not believe how irresponsible and addicted i am ..

Hey Natty, when it comes to urges and cravings, watch this video.

Also, I would encourage you to notice that it's not just gaming that you're struggle with, but gambling. I don't have many resources (myself) on the gambling side but this site has a lot of good resources that can help you.

Also this is the 24/7 helpline if you'd like to speak to someone: 1-800-522-4700

Edited June 15, 2016 by Cam Adair

[Kad]

I would second the resources that Cam suggested.  Many of us did not quit our first go around so do not give up.  Accept what happened without self-blame.  Acknowledge it did not work as you intended then look at why it happened without judgement.  Was it stress? boredom? Cravings? etc.  Than make a plan and try again.  Keep building until you get where you want.  It is only failure when you give up.  Cam has a book Respawn and many vids to help in the early knucklebiting days.  Hang in there!

[AlexTheGrape]

Hi Natty, welcome to the community! Identifying your shortcomings is a crucial step to making tangible progress, so I applaud your bravery to admit failure in some areas of your life. As suggested by others in the community, I'd recommend you keep a journal to keep track of daily commitments, days gone without gaming, and keeping yourself accountable for taking control of your life.

All the best for your recovery!

[Half_Natty]

Thank you guys <3 So the plan is for now to make a journal ?! I don't know how that would help tbh. At this moment i've been 2 days clean. But i am craving cs go so so badly, I literally just want to re-install it and play I don't want to relapse again.. 
I've done this so many times its so frustrating.. 
I'm trying to convince my self i shouldn't stop gaming even though I've accomplished nothing in life.
I NEED to focus more on fitness
But it's like i just want to play.
How do i control this?! The cravings are so annoying and so strong.. 

[Cam Adair]

Thank you guys <3 So the plan is for now to make a journal ?! I don't know how that would help tbh. At this moment i've been 2 days clean. But i am craving cs go so so badly, I literally just want to re-install it and play I don't want to relapse again.. 
I've done this so many times its so frustrating.. 
I'm trying to convince my self i shouldn't stop gaming even though I've accomplished nothing in life.
I NEED to focus more on fitness
But it's like i just want to play.
How do i control this?! The cravings are so annoying and so strong.. 

Journaling will help process your thoughts instead of letting them bubble up inside. It helps to get them out. 

[Mad Pharmacist]

Hey man! I have a clue for you!

Something I haven't seen in previous comments...

GO OUT OF THE HOUSE for anything you can do out of the house!

 

Examples:

Training? Gym, running group, fitness group etc.

Studying/working?: Coffee shops, libraries, etc. 

If you go outside to unknown places, then you'll feel unable to procrastinate instead of doing what you need to do!

And this way you're gonna boost your comfort zone, so this is the best you can do for now!