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Revit weekly log - challenges, thoughts and other stuff


Revit

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Today is my 4th week of the detox.

The first week was easy. I just smoked pot all the weekend and didn't even attempted to play games. Not bad for starters, but this kind of hobby will screw me up in the long run. Besides, this is not the way I want to spend my free time.

On the second week I kinda slipped off. I played Hearthstone, World of Tanks and some mobile games. I don't consider this is as real gaming, because Hearthstone is frustrating, WoT is boring and mobile games... well they are not real games :)) I deleted the games though. Also, I found videos if this dude, Cam. Let's extend my detox from 1 month to 90 days.

On the third week I started to go to gym more consistently. I am so freaking soar. Also, started to watch TV shows much more and picked on gaming videos. Sometimes I have dreams of me playing Dark Souls 3. Also, I praise the sun - well the winter is still and it is April already!

The forth week was pretty much like the third one. I still have the dreams about Dark Souls. I still praise the sun. Once and while I dream about how I am going to play some games after the detox. After that I usually think that this still will be the summer time and it is better to spend it outdoors, or, you know, DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE. Also, I have to go easy on gaming videos... But maaan, this dude plays Smite so good. May be pick up on reading again? Not a bad idea. Also, let's check out game quitters forum for some inspiration and useful thoughts of other quitters. 

Edited by Revit
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Hi welcome and congratulations on the four weeks and your progress!

I realized that to quit gaming is more about things you do then the things you don't do. Do you have any wishes or goals you want to achieve in the next 6months? Some abilities you want to learn? There are many things which basically just need commitment and time and this are two things you can afford to spent now.

 

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@WorkInProgress

My main reason to quit gaming is to expand my social circle, find a GF and make my life more interesting, so when somebody asks me a question "what did you do on the weekend", I wouldn't need to cover up the fact the I played video games non stop and enjoyed it more than anything else. Not that I think it is a bad activity, but the society believes that it is. Besides, whenever I think about how to make more friends and find a GF, I ask my self questions like "what could I bring on the table as person", "am I an interesting person to talk to". I came to conclusion, that even I wouldn't have a great time talking to myself. That's my goal, I want to quit gaming to fix the areas of my life I am missing out on. 

This means I have to find another hobby. This becomes a little bit complicated. I don't have a permanent status in Canada, and for the last three years it's been my goal to get one. This is actually one of the factors that contributes to my daily share of frustration, especially in the light of billions of taxpayer's money (and I am one of the taxpayers) spent on Syrian refugees, and other economical immigrants to accommodate them. While I am already here, I am educated, I have a job and more or less integrated into Canadian society - I don't need any accommodation money, I just need a piece of paper that says that nobody will kick me out of here. I think I used to play games a lot to escape from these thoughts. I don't want to go back very bad. At this very moment I've done everything I could to facilitate the immigration process and all I have to do now is to wait, grind and save as much money as I can, because if the project fails, I have to go back home. In this case I need to make sure that I at least saved as much money as I've spent on the tuition. The bottom line is that I make enough (well it is never enough...) money to achieve this goal, but I can't justify other expenditures. This is requirement number one. My hobby has to be cheap. 

The other requirement of the new hobby is that it has to be social. Reading, 3D modelling, music making, learning a music instrument, working out - these are activities I would give a shot to, but these are all solitary hobbies. I need a hobby where I can meet new people, especially girls. I think a perfect hobby will be dancing. Also, I am open to suggestions. 

The last requirement is not really a requirement to a hobby, but I need to find some activities to went off stress. 

 

 

Edited by Revit
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@Cam Adair

Yes, I thought about salsa or bachata. It is a popular social dance and it perfectly fits the description. However I never was really interested in dancing. As a classic nerd, I don't like dancing and I feel anxious on the dance floor. So imagine me showing up in a salsa class, where you have to do that with a partner. Also, I don't enjoy Hispanic music (yet), it is too cheerful to my taste :D Acro yoga especially seems that you need a GF, no just a random partner to practice it. The problem with these activities is that I have never been genuinely interested in them, thus I will not be consistent. More over that, I will look like a horny nerd trying to score with chicks - which is correct, because this is my main incentive to pick up on these things. And I am too afraid to relapse again once I encounter this kind of challenge. 

But I have a plan. I want to let these hobbies to go through my system, to become part of my personality. At first, I am going to learn some basic moves and become more familiar with my body and what drives me in dancing, Once I am comfortable with the basic stuff - and I am sure I don't need dance like a pro to enjoy it - I will go to a club just to dance. The anxiety is only in my head, but this is the only way to gain the confidence. And after that, I will probably join a salsa class. 

By the way, do you have any ideas on hobbies that would involve conversing? I became quite fluent in English, but in order to become bilingual, I have to practice much more...

Edited by Revit
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I'll make you a deal. Go to 7 salsa dancing classes and then re-evaluate. One of the things I've learned is that "interest" comes more from experiencing things (activities) than thinking about them. Dancing will help you break out of your shell and that will develop more confidence. Go to a beginner class where everyone is expected to be bad (I've gone multiple times and I suck!)

Most Acro classes are not with your GF. They are similar to salsa where it's partnered, not sexual. 

The thing is, picking up chicks is more about your own self of confidence than it is about "talking" to girls. As someone who has personally taught (1 on 1) over 300 guys around the world (through coaching) how to meet and attract women, there are few things that will help you MORE than going to a salsa or acro yoga class. ;)

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@Cam Adair

Uhh... This is too overwhelming. I have a long history of picking up on things and never finishing them and this probably will become one of them if I just jump in. It's not even about girls, I am confident enough to initiate a conversation on different topics, but we are talking about things I've never done before. Even when trying a new game, I play a dozen bot matches before jumping into online battles. This is just to get the feel of the game and learn some basic stuff, so when I get rekt, I would at least know how to get better. 

I don't have problems (I think I don't) talking to girls, I just don't meet many of them in my life. I am proud of my achievements and they give me the confidence to tackle new things. I am quite stubborn and persistent in achieving my goals, but I have to set a realistic goal first. The other problem that in relationships of any kind being persistent is not a key to success. Say, back at home some girls take for granted that you have to be persistent in winning them. The others don't think this way, but they will appreciate this quality if you don't cross any lines. While here it is considered creepy, clingy and needy. Honestly, I even never heard the expression "trying too hard" until I came here. How can you even "try too hard"? 

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It depends. You can be trying hard because the person is important to you or you can try hard because you don't have any alternatives. The first thing is attractive the second one is needy. Nothing bad in trying hard if you get appreciation for it and do it because you really like someone. It gets creepy/nerdy if you don't know the other person well and don't have the self respect to look after yourself(put her needs in front of yours).

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Week 4.

Surprisingly, I stopped dreaming about Dark Souls and prising the sun. Which is good. However, I discovered that I need to find something to restore my energy levels. This Monday I got so tired, that I dozed off in the subway and had a hard time waking up. I solved the problem with in the other way I knew. I got some weed and relaxed. The trick is that this shit has the same effect as video games in terms of escaping reality. I've been escaping reality in this way for the whole week. I even skipped the gym. Well, this was a major mistake, this wil not happen again. I've put my smoking gear somewhere far away. But despite this little mistake I was quite productive in the other aspects of life, which I was procrastinating on for quite some time. Self five! The other thing though.. I kinda relapsed. I discovered that Windows has a store with some mobile games ported on it. I spent about 4-5 hours on the games during the last 3 days. But as previously, I don't consider mobile games as real games. They don't have the same level of complexity and they don't give any feel of achievement. You just kill time with them. By the end of the weekend my "boner" on gaming even grew weeker. I think I could do casual gaming in moderation with these games. However, let's focus on the goal to reach 90 days without gaming. I rewarded myself with an SSD on my 30 day. The next milestone will be 90 days and my reward has to do something with... being outside and being social. Any suggestions?

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You're right to keep going to 90 day and then re-evaluate. Mobile games are good at just filling our time so we don't have to actually find other things to fill our time that will bring us more fulfillment. Although it can be difficult to be with yourself when you're bored and so forth, it's important to be with those emotions instead of always just trying to escape them.

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Throw a grill- party with you family/friends and buy only the best meat and alcohol.

That won't work. My family is on another continent and I literally have 2.5 friend. Taking out these lazy bastards could be a challenge by itself, depending on the positioning of the planets :D Any other ideas? I am thinking to take a train/bus trip across Canada. 

Edited by Revit
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Most Acro classes are not with your GF. They are similar to salsa where it's partnered, not sexual. 

I thought about what turns me of this idea. Recently I started looking for a new gym, because my old one switched to a summer schedule, which doesn't fit me. I went to the closest to my work GoodLife gym. While I was waiting for staff to come to me, I noticed that women were peeking at me. The attention was flattering, but highly unusual. I rarely notice women looking at me, unless they are about to try to convert me into Christianity or sell a new Rogers plan. I am still not sure, is it a cultural thing, or I am not considered attractive by local standards, or my eyesight is getting worse. Anyway, as soon as a staff member approached me, I learned the reason of this interest to my persona. This was a women only gym, and I was not supposed be there. ....Women hm.. only...? Ok... Let's ask google why such thing exists in the country of equality. Apparently, women are not comfortable exercising around men. Some complain that men stare at them or hit on them, others are just self conscious around the opposite sex. 

Now getting back to acro yoga... Personally, I am not comfortable used to comfortable with this level of physical contact. In addition to that, during the years spent in Canada I developed a habit to avoid even looking at girls, especially when the girl is attractive, or it is late, and/or the location is half empty. I remember one morning I got into bus and all the good seats were taken, so I had to sit with another person. I've noticed that in the situations like this one girls prefer to sit with the other girls. I am not that picky, so I sat with a girl, while there were spots with dudes. There were many reasons of my choice: I liked the spot, girls are generally smaller and some dudes tend to spread their legs like they rode a bicycle with no seat. After that I took a nap. On a major stop a lot of people came of, and free seats appeared. I felt comfortable enough at where I was, so I continued napping. But I noticed that the girl got tense. Soon enough she asked me to let her come through so she could change her seat. The level of rape/sexual harassment paranoia is too damn high! 

Now, am I imagining things? 

Edited by Revit
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Week 5

I passed the 40 day mark. According to the researches, in order to develop a new habit or get rid of an old one, you need 40 days. I couldn't agree more with this statement. As for today, I have a very little interest in video gaming. I have no nostalgia, no cravings. The very idea of spending time playing video games makes me indifferent. More over that, the previous thoughts of playing Dark Souls now feel like too much work and little fun; it feels like I can do something more fun and rewarding than that. 

My new hobby is TV shows and movies. I am on the 4th season of Battlestar Galactica, the TV show I started to watch a year ago and couldn't finish, because it was "too boring" in comparison to video games. I also have a couple of great fiction books in my sleeve, but I am saving them for later. I am a very compulsive reader; books were my video games before I got my first computer. 

The past week was productive both at work and at home. I've done a big chunk of paperwork for express entry and brushed up on the other aspects of my life. I revised my wardrobe, figured out what household items I need to buy and developed a maintenance routine. My gamer "optimization" habits come in handy :D I also decided to invest the money I have. My next long term project is to ace CELPIP test; I need to get the score of nine in all the sections of the test. 

I also noticed some other changes. I started to see dreams. I can't recall when was the last time I saw any dreams. I am also having less problems putting my thoughts into sentences both in English and Russian while speaking. My guess that it is because my brain is no more tired after gaming. That's a good change, I like it. 

Edited by Revit
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Dancing YES. Salsa specifically, trust me. It's partnered so you have to dance with a girl and it's very social. 

Yoga and ACRO yoga (specifically) also recommended.

I went salsa dancing yesterday. It's part of a show that I'm going to perform in a theather soon. I had to dance with one of my best friends (a girl) and it was soooo much fun. I can recommend this for everyone!!

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@Robin

Have you danced before? Do you like Latina music?

Yes I have actually :P 

I do dancing as my sport. I see it as something competitive and I also do competitions with my crew and such. 

This is my activity for achievement and goals. 

I also love the playlists on spotify from the Latin genre. I get a happy feeling from it and it makes my day a lot better.

If you want to you can check some clips/photos of my dancing out on my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robinv.vdg/

If you have any questions just hit me up! 

 

- Robin

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Most Acro classes are not with your GF. They are similar to salsa where it's partnered, not sexual. 

Now getting back to acro yoga... Personally, I am not comfortable used to comfortable with this level of physical contact.

That's exactly the reason to do it. Try one class and if you don't like it, you don't have to do a second. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to start making decisions from experience instead of thoughts and assumptions. 

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@Robin

Right on, pal! But what the hell are you doing on this forum, huh? Just kidding, I bet you have your reasons!

How did you pick up on dancing?

Haha I have problems too with gaming addiction and I started my detox today!

I began dancing before I got addicted and dancing kept me kinda on the right path. My dancing school has become my second family sort of and now I want to become even better! I love it when new people start dancing tho. It's not always about how good you're at it but just how much fun it can be ;)

Eventually you'll get better and it even becomes more fun ;P

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Week 6

I came across a funny thing. Even though I don't spend all my free time on gaming, I still don't have enough time to do everything I want to do. No, I don't waste my time on something else; quite opposite, I am as organised as I was during the school a year ago. I even feel a little bit burned out. This discovery helped me to come to conclusion: I simply don't have the luxury of wasting my time by playing games. All the achievements in our life take much more time to attain in comparison to achievements in video games. That what made them so addictive! Also, the easy achievements numbs "the pleasure receptors", which makes real life achievements so plain. 

I have another observation. I start thinking about getting back to gaming when frustrated. Games seem to be so much easier than life and so much rewarding. Beating Dark Souls is a piece of cake in comparison to getting a girlfriend. Yup, I am back to dating websites again. So frustrating! Yes, DS is hard, and that's what makes you feel so good when you beat it. You know that with dedication, practice (thanks to the infinite number of tries) and pilgrimage to the wiki you can get what you want. While I have no idea why I am having a hard time even getting a date, what do I do wrong and how to git gud. 

 

Edited by Revit
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