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SundayMiharu

Miharu's Journal

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So, day 1.

Today I am here. So, I have decided to quit gaming once and for all. No more gaming, no more relapse, no more escaping from my life.

 

What do you guys think for a nice hobby? I am currently learning japanese, but that's all.

I don't have a lot of words to say, unlike so many other guys here.

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So, day 1.

Today I am here. So, I have decided to quit gaming once and for all. No more gaming, no more relapse, no more escaping from my life.

 

What do you guys think for a nice hobby? I am currently learning japanese, but that's all.

I don't have a lot of words to say, unlike so many other guys here.

Hey, great to hear you're quitting, this shit has to end sometime! :) I haven't really got any other hobby suggestions than taking a walk now and then during the day, it's really refreshing and get you perspective on things. Meditation is also a great one, not that I've ever gotten around to 9_9 but if you're like me and beat yourself up mentally all the time it can be a good idea to learn how to divert nasty thoughts. Cheers!

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Hi Miharu. My new favorite hobby is playing guitar! I can feel kind of constant measurable growth and sense of achievement. I also exercise 3-4 times per week to release my excess energy. Nice to have you here !

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Day 5. I don't know if this is a relapse or escapism or not.

The game/education software is kanji no owari.

If this might make you relapse, don't.

There's the footage I've attached, I need an opinion. Should I continue it or not? 

Stage corresponds to JLPT, so Stage 5 is equal to JLPT N5.

 

kanji no owari 001.png

kanji no owari 002.png

kanji no owari 003.jpg

 

Edited by SundayMiharu
want to spoiler tag it.

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I think it IS video game, specifically RPG.

In my opinion you should answer to the question: are you seriously learning Japanese or are you more focused on just the game content like upgrading your character and their skills or getting as much points as possible.

There's a difference between this and many other things like chains.cc, habitica or duolingo. All of them have some mechanisms from games, like most things if  our lives (because life is ultimate video game), but we're more focused on doing our tasks/habits/studying languages than on getting the highest score. This score is just additional thing to control how hard are we working on anything.

Ah, and if you want some inspiration for new habits, check out my latest journal entry. :)

Edited by hycniejsy

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@hycniejsy, upgrading character? not really. I try not to. By upgrading character, I stand to lose the opportunity for learning, since the damage is greater. and no point in upgrading character, since as long as you answered right within a given time, you can repeat it again and again. The kanji will change, you answer the right meaning/reading, rinse and repeat until the kanji sticks to your head. Since there is no punishment for failure, it doesn't matter if the character is dead. 

No high score, to be honest. The exp is literally what kanji you have successfully remembered right for five times.

For me, phonetic language like japanese is easy to be said, since my language (Bahasa Indonesia) works the same.

On one side, I've done JLPT N5 test. going for N4 right now. Also the knowledge translates to other app like obenkyo.

On other side, this is gaming. Memrise does offer speed review for N5 to N1. But doing 100 review each time without break with three chance is too stressful to me.

 

I'll try to break from it then. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Miharu's Log - Day 0

1. Need better alternative to Kanji no Owari. 

2. Successfully not checking the Yugioh News site for today. 

3. Unsubscribed to /r/Yugioh. 

Today, the counter is reset to day zero.

I want to learn Digital sketching. I had a wacom cintiq in my home, and adobe photoshop and illustrator. 

Edited by SundayMiharu

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I think memrise and apps similar to that are ok, but if they look too much like a game (like the one you posted) I would be careful.

Great job staying consistent with your journal. This will be very good for you over time.

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Miharu's Log - Day 1

I really, really want to listen to music. I want to play my keyboard.

Damn. 

How much do I have to disassociate myself to gamer?

Gamer is an identity you've had. Now it's time to redefine your identity as YOU. :)

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@cam adair. I mean, when the collection of music you had in your head is game and anime music (which is why I love JRPG, they had enjoyable stories and music, compared to other genre) and when you touch your instrument, you know what kind of music made you picking up that instrument and how you had practiced countless hours for those music, the nostalgia may someday bring me back to gaming.

For example, I love to zanarkand, aerith's theme and tifa's theme. They are some of the earliest score I've learned. When I wanted to regulate my emotion into serene/calmness, I just play the music to regain my balance.

As to why I'm afraid, it is because it had happened to me once before.

_______________________________________________________

Miharu's log - day 2

Hmm... let's see. Boredom is too scary right now. With so much time and nothing to do, I fall to the temptation of reading fiction yesterday. I wonder if I learned speed reading, I could have more time for me.

What do you do in your free time? All works and no fun makes me burned out. How do you love what you do, when you're not passionate about it?

 

P.S.: Is it possible for playstore to not show the games part?

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Not 100% sure about app store but I'm pretty sure it's possible. 

For your day to avoid boredom, what are the other activities you are going to do? The key is to have multiple ones and do them each for 30-60 minutes at a time. Get out of the house as much as possible.

So if you do an hour or two of programming/graphic design/drawing + an hour or two of reading + go for a walk and listen to a podcast + go to the gym and so forth your day is filled up quick!

Are you in school? On break? Neither? Could you get a part-time job? 

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dear myself and everyone here,

Today I fucked up. I just fucked up and cannot control my urges.

How to not care anymore? I just visited /r/Yugioh and /r/deskbots again (first one), then I browsed and click on topic (second), and then I had clicked one of the link (third), read and become enraged again.

I don't want to care about Yugioh again, please...

@cam adair. In the period between having graduated, and getting a job.

Edited by SundayMiharu

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Thanks for sharing. The key with your urges is to notice them and not give them too much power. They don't control you, AND, you don't need to "escape" them. Just notice them, "Hmm, interesting, I have urges" and keep moving along. Meditation is one of the best ways to improve this ability.

What is a step you can take today to start working on getting a job? Do you have a resume yet? A job will help a lot :)

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Miharu's Log - Day 3

 

Dear Myself,

Let's practice chapter 4.

 

Yesterday, I had successfully prevented my urges to masturbate. Third day of noFap and I will continue this streak to 90 day. Started to read the slight edge too. Unfortunately, yesterday I had no motivation to study for language. 

 

So, Chapter 4 talks about gratitude, one of them anyway.

For today, I want to give my gratitude to my parents, who had taught me since I was a child. Who wished for me to succeed. Who had given me encouragement even when I am in despair. 

Thank you for those in /r/NoFap, /r/StopGaming, and those in this forum, for giving me guidance for me to walk again, to not wallow in despair and self-pity, and self destructive life.

And last, thank you for me in yesterday, to want to change for the better.

 

 

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All right, I see your primary goal is to combat boredom in your life.

How to deal with this?

  • Find non-game related activities to fill your time with, especially when you're home alone:
    • Something that could be your hobby. Piano is a good start, but also reading fiction, studying japanese or anything you're interested about.
    • If you're studying or working, you can increase your academic/work perfomance DRASTICALLY! If you have a break or you're unemployed, find even a part-time job
    • You can also EXTREMELY increase the quality of your life! Learn to cook for instance. Better dishes will make you feel better.
    • Try to keep your room clean. Same with your computer/emails. Segregate your data on computer and archive your emails! Create greater barrier of entry into gaming/masturbation.
    • Find any go-to activity when you're tired/stress. Even napping is good for start, or reading fiction
    • While quitting you'll also gain ton of time for social sphere of your life. Go to local events in your city and meet some new people, especially if most of your friends are gamers.

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All right, I see your primary goal is to combat boredom in your life.

How to deal with this?

  • Find non-game related activities to fill your time with, especially when you're home alone:
    • Something that could be your hobby. Piano is a good start, but also reading fiction, studying japanese or anything you're interested about.
    • If you're studying or working, you can increase your academic/work perfomance DRASTICALLY! If you have a break or you're unemployed, find even a part-time job
    • You can also EXTREMELY increase the quality of your life! Learn to cook for instance. Better dishes will make you feel better.
    • Try to keep your room clean. Same with your computer/emails. Segregate your data on computer and archive your emails! Create greater barrier of entry into gaming/masturbation.
    • Find any go-to activity when you're tired/stress. Even napping is good for start, or reading fiction
    • While quitting you'll also gain ton of time for social sphere of your life. Go to local events in your city and meet some new people, especially if most of your friends are gamers.

actually, the time I used to read fiction is far worse. If I'm not playing competitive gaming like yugioh, my option is RPG, purely from enjoying the storyline. I never had problem cheating at that kind of game, because for me, grinding is too tedious to do.

So, reading fiction is one habit I cannot successfully stop, and I want to stop this.

So, today's log.

_________________________________________________________________

Miharu's log - day 4

Three things I am grateful for:

Thank God for my eyes, for I can see with it.

Thank God for my perfect pair of hands. 

Thank God for leg that carried me everyday.

 

so, today morning is an improvement for me. I managed to not get into the game sites, even when I typed the site. take that, me! What I wanted to improve is:

1. forum.Spacebattles.com, forum.sufficientvelocity.com, fanfiction.net, krytykal.org, endonline.wordpress.com

I want to stop reading fiction in those sites. So, the next course of action is to erase the reflex of typing those sites. and the game too. Which means I'd have to either search for another sites, or limit my use of internet. I prefer the second option to be honest. Unfortunately, I haven't had activity to replace that.

Well, I wanted to learn more. Coursera is a good option for me, and I am satisfied with it. My only problem with coursera is that I have extremely restricted quota from 8 AM to 1 AM, and the video grabber add on on chrome doesn't work anymore. Any alternative for the video grabber?

2. I wanted to wake up earlier. 4 AM would be nice. 3 AM is better.

RIght now, I'm working on polyphasic sleep. Unless in the future I got a job as a freelancer (which I want to, to be honest) or entrepreneur (my goal), my sleep schedule will be dictated by my boss. 

One personal development trainer I've attended said that meditation is good to be done at the early morning, about 3 to 5 AM. I wanted to learn to meditate, and then test this. Where if it doesn't work, the time from my shifted sleep schedule can be used for workout.

 

 

Edited by SundayMiharu

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4 days! That's almost 100 hours! Good job!

How much do you sleep between polyphase sleep? I tried it couple of times, and I don't wanna worry you, but it doesn't work for me. After couple of days I needed to sleep the whole day to regenerate.

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4 days! That's almost 100 hours! Good job!

How much do you sleep between polyphase sleep? I tried it couple of times, and I don't wanna worry you, but it doesn't work for me. After couple of days I needed to sleep the whole day to regenerate.

I managed to sleep 5 hours by dividing it to 2 small sleep and 1 big sleep. Have you ever done it for at least 30 days? It made me crash too at first and second week.

So, Today's Journal.

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Miharu's log - Day 5

Right now, I don't feel the urge to game at all. Though, I cannot separate myself from reading fiction yesterday. 

Also, I did PMO yesterday.

I really need to learn how to increase my will power.

 

Thank god because you've given the world sound.

Thank God because you let me hear.

Thank God because you let me see the world.

 

 

 

 

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