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mushroomhead

the rest of my life is shit though (also on reddit)

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The problem I am having contemplating quitting gaming is that the rest of my life is shit. When it was "relatively" better a while back, I did play less and more on single player games, where my standards are higher so I end up naturally playing less than if I was say 12 yrs old (I'm late 20s btw). But for a while now, my employment has been between precarious to non-existent, I live in a rented crapshack apartment where nothing's been renovated for 20 years where the floor is so filthy I wince when my cats roll around on it and can't get the stains out. I don't have a problem with "all my friends" being gamers because I have no friends and have never really had any (except for a couple of years during highschool), college was a total washout (didn't party, stayed in dorm playing games, got decent grades, but not best). I've never had a girlfriend becase I am ugly and not rich, or maybe my standards are too high on Tinder where I right swipe everyone and get awful matches. But I can't help being not attracted to unattractive women *shrugs*. My financial circumstances have taken a massive dive for the past year to the point where I have not paid my last month's rent. (PS, gaming actually has nothing to do with me losing my job, I don't want to go into why, but I ended up having to sue my longtime employer and have had trouble with references since). 

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So I spend my days playing not just single player games but things like DOTA2 or BF4, where there's always a next match and for the however long it lasts, it's all there is. I feel really guilty when I end up ignoring my cats, whom I should really be spending more quality time with as an unemployed (I said sometimes ignore, not total neglect). Sure, I've had some temp jobs in the past year, but they were all temporary (in the name) and shit. I really should be working out more, but have lost the motivation I had a year ago because when I had a job and some money, I used it to fund some cosmetic procedures. Obviously I didn't have enough money to finish them all and don't have enough money to continue atm. Although, I'm not the fat slob you're maybe imagining, I have maintained some fitness, enough for the Armed Forces, where I recently put in an application for the Navy Reserves, because I am so bored. 

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If I stopped gaming right now, it would feel like emptiness. Either nothing to do, or the things don't matter. I would like more free time to do stuff (even though my time is already free being unemployed) but they also feel "less important".

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I'm hesistant about the "90 day detox" or "quit gaming forever" I saw on youtube / Ted X by the Canadian guy because in the short term, I don't know what to do with myself. In the long term, I know that I have been capable in my past to play games and still lead a "normal life". 

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During highschool, I still procrastinated and wasted some time and  whatnot, but it wasn't anywhere like today. It was the happiest years of my life and like a kind of renaissance. I was doing very badly in an inner city school so my parents used their savings to send me to an Ivy League prep school (obviously, I had the base intelligence and had even got a partial scholarship there at the end of elementary, but parents couldnt afford that many years of private schooling). There, I didn't obsessively play game every day. The people there inspired me to be better, I started to learn the piano, drew, carried on learning French and joined the state team for athletics and took an interest in the liberal arts / humanities that I took to college and which will stay with me forever. I was pretty happy then, even though I still didnt have a girlfriend in those years. But I made some poor choices for college entry and ended up somewhere mediocre where I completely lost the motivation to engage and just anesthetized myself playing games most of the times like I did when I was younger. 

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I don't know how to get back to that. I didn't need to stop gaming then.

 

 

 

 

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Sorry that your life is the way it is. Sounds like moderation is key for you? Why not try a month detox and then write out some goals to accomplish in that month.

Things such as hand out a record amount of CV's and run every day? All the best and you're definitely in the right place :)

By the way yeah I agree back in my teens and late school years were the best times of my life with gaming and social life. It's non-existent now!

 

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Welcome mushroomhead ☺

I took a long moment to read your story and reflect on it. Believe it or not, but gaming won't help because it actually steal energy from you and valuable time.

Time you need to straight you life back up. You have several things working in your favour. You are young. You seem healthy. You are in a athletic state good enough to apply for armed forces. I read between the lines you are not really tied to your location, that is an additional plus if you can move.

If you feel burnt buy you employeer, well let me tell you it is not the end of the world. When I was in my early twenties i got FIRED because of inviting friends to my workplace at night and having a huge party trashing the place. Well I joined the armed forces after that (infantry) 1.5 years later finished with ok grades and moved to a new city and studied engineering and that was the most challenging time of my life. 10 years later I graduated (way after everyone else). Today I work as an engineer.

My point is life can be shit, I have been there. My best advice when you feel stuck is:

- Relocate. Move to a new city get a fresh start. Or even move to a new country.

- Study. This is the best way to get a fresh start. Choose a new field in life. You previous employment won't mather that much, your education more and the needs on the labour market even more.

- Armed forces. If you are in the US or UK you might get salary and additional benefits. That might help you with studies later on. Lots of great experience comes from serving.

You cant change the past that is an absolute true fact so don't live inside it. You can only live in the present moment and thats whats shapes your future.

Take small steps to work against a goal. Don't point your nose back, point it forwards. Eliminate anything that pulls you back. And hey we are here to help you on the way ☺

Edited by Danielk

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Don't give up.  Lots of great advice given to you.  I agree with Danielk that excessive gaming will only distract you from moving forwards in your life.  If you can moderate gaming and also create goals for yourself then perhaps that route could work?  Like Falky mentioned, maybe a month detox can be trialed so you can sort out your life?  I am rooting for you as well as many others on this forum.  ????

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To be honest I only managed 5 days without gaming. I stayed off the desktop games only to start playing Agario after I saw about it in house of cards on Netflix. I felt when I wasn't gaming was that I was calmer, didn't have more energy but less "skittish" and less "frazzled". 

What exactly, neurologically is happening? 

I've been playing games so much for the past year that even 5 days reminded me of something I can't remember feeling. 

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To be honest I only managed 5 days without gaming. I stayed off the desktop games only to start playing Agario after I saw about it in house of cards on Netflix. I felt when I wasn't gaming was that I was calmer, didn't have more energy but less "skittish" and less "frazzled". 

What exactly, neurologically is happening? 

I've been playing games so much for the past year that even 5 days reminded me of something I can't remember feeling. 

Yep, this is all normal. Even in 5 days you can notice a difference in how you feel. Time to beat your high score. :)

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