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Falky

Nick's Daily Journal

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Day 78 - Becoming a Recluse

As this detox has gone on, I've noticed that I've stopped talking to friends (RL and on the net). Is this perhaps because all my friends play games and I'm subconsciously avoiding them or am I just becoming so self absorbed that I can't be bothered to talk? Perhaps this detox has been the equivalent of someone's solitary meditation retreat lol?

I've learnt a lot about myself and experienced a life without gaming so I think that this is just part of the process for me. I'll try to reach out over the next few days and try to contact some friends though.

Today I need to write a blog and do some other stuff, but not much of an entry today. I will just spend most of today thinking about things and i suppose in a sense meditating.

I'll see you folks soon. :)

What I'm Grateful For:

  • Fiancee
  • Toast and Jam
  • Music
  • Oxygen

Today's Agenda:

  • Write Blog On Patience & Consistency
  • Write In Journal
  • Reflect On Life
  • Twitch Work

Hello Nick, I have been reading through your journal and I managed to reach the latest post :) I would like to comment on the issue with losing friends, I am not doing a gaming detox (I've completed it this January), but I am detoxing myself from "Game of Thrones," as you can see in my journal, and since I began the detox last Sunday, I cannot really write back to my pen friend, with whom I used to discuss the series. I do not want to lose the friendship but I am at a loss how to explain it to her and what to write about, I feel as if I was "detoxing" myself from my friend too, which is sad because I value our relationship very much :( But anyway it is nice to discover that I am not the only one who experiences this. Good luck with your gaming detox :)

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Thanks for reading all my journal @Primmulla :) I'll become up to date on yours in a second. My advice is to just write... "I'm doing a TV program detox that's including my beloved Game Of Thrones haha and say if we could not talking about that then that would be great!" I'm sure she will understand :) To be honest I'm just getting sick of so-called friends using me and I'm reaching a point where I'm like, you know what...screw you! I have my family, my soon to be wife and If you want to be my friend then I'll be right where I was last month!

And thanks, not long to go now :) only 10 days. If you want to chat or something like Facebook whatever, then feel free to message...if not then no worries. I can always do with new friends to chat to ^^

 

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Hey Nick!

I'm reading your journal and I can say it's a great journey you've experienced!

It's only 10 days to finished detox, however be aware after finishing detox: in most cases people relapses after a couple of weeks of finishing detox, just like I did.

By the way, drinking energy drinks isn't too good for your health at all. If you want to avoid palpitations, you can even substitute energy drinks with coffee and this should help a bit. That's because dose of caffeine in energy drink is couple of times higher than in normal coffee.

Greetings, The Pharmacist.

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Hey Nick!

I'm reading your journal and I can say it's a great journey you've experienced!

It's only 10 days to finished detox, however be aware after finishing detox: in most cases people relapses after a couple of weeks of finishing detox, just like I did.

By the way, drinking energy drinks isn't too good for your health at all. If you want to avoid palpitations, you can even substitute energy drinks with coffee and this should help a bit. That's because dose of caffeine in energy drink is couple of times higher than in normal coffee.

Greetings, The Pharmacist.

Yeah and na it's in our family, we are sensitive to caffeine so any drink with caffeine in is bad. Yeah I have a game plan in place regards to gaming and what I'm doing after my detox so it shouldn't be a problem.

Day 82 - Serious Issues

It's nearly a week until I my detox is finished and my cravings are OK to be honest. It's everything else that's troubling me though. I've given up anything caffeine because of the reasons I stated in my journal and I'm very agitated, wound up, angry and currently as a I write this I have a thumping headache. I'm not going to try and drink anything caffeine oriented again as long as a live, so giving in isn't an option.

I needed to give it up sooner or later as that is on my checklist of things to eliminate or improve on in my life. Below are the major things I want/wanted to do to improve myself in life.

  • Do a Game Detox. = Increased willpower and mental health.
  • Give up drinking caffeine. = Better health and financial savings.
  • Become a Healthy weight. = Better health and confidence.
  • Increase muscle mass by double. = Better health and confidence.
  • Beat my anxiety. = Increased confidence and mental health.
  • Improve my speaking voice & quality. = Increased confidence & Job performance.
  • Improve flexibility until I can do handstands and the splits. = Improved health & athletic performance.

I've already done two which is great and I'm about to complete the third one in around a week's time :). I don't know what it is but writing lists is so therapeutic some how lol. I guess it just de-clutters your mind. 

I haven't done much in regards to anything lately, I've just been so unfocused and coupled with headaches it's definitely not a state of mind to be working in. Think I'm going to lie down after I've wrote this entry. Yup...I cant think. Right I'm off. I'll chat to you all soon, tomorrow will be a week from the detox completion. :)

 

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Day 83 - A Week Left

I woke up today feeling a lot fresher than normal, I think this is down to me drinking little to no caffeine what-so-ever yesterday. I'm also feeling a lot more focused than normal. It's scary how a substance like that can alter your brain and body into a new way or functioning. I woke up today feeling a little less agitated too, im still agitated don't get me wrong but it's not at the severity of yesterday's. I'm hoping that this will go within the next week or so.

By the time I've fully come off caffeine it will be time to nail my next challenge at that's losing a decent amount of fat. I will weigh myself Sunday and gauge the amount needed to lose. Then as soon as my game detox ends I want to shift my focus onto the fat loss. I don't want to go back to gaming endless amounts, so the challenge of losing fat will shift my focus away from gaming a little bit and allow me to work and also lose the fat needed.

I have an idea of how I'm going to lose the fat but I'm going to use the week left of the detox to drawn up a little plan. I'm also going to try and limit my tech use this week and reflect on how my detox has gone.

But yeah yesterday went horrible in regards to mood and productivity. I guess things need to get worse before they get better though eh? This is just another step in my ultimate Nick plan, where I can become the strongest version of myself.

Anyways just need to take it one step at a time at the moment and trust the process. I'll speak to you all soon. :)

What I'm Grateful For:

  • Comfy Bed
  • Cute Animals
  • Beautiful Weather
  • Ice Cubes

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But yeah yesterday went horrible in regards to mood and productivity. I guess things need to get worse before they get better though eh? This is just another step in my ultimate Nick plan, where I can become the strongest version of myself.

Even I(!!! xD) have such days. I follow the ultimate Nick plan for a while and it seems to steadily but surely lead you to the place you wanna be. You doing great! I don't have any worries what so ever that you fail your goals. It is all just a question of time.

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But yeah yesterday went horrible in regards to mood and productivity. I guess things need to get worse before they get better though eh? This is just another step in my ultimate Nick plan, where I can become the strongest version of myself.

Even I(!!! xD) have such days. I follow the ultimate Nick plan for a while and it seems to steadily but surely lead you to the place you wanna be. You doing great! I don't have any worries what so ever that you fail your goals. It is all just a question of time.

Cheers bro :)

 

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If you want to lose weight, diet is the #1 thing you should focus on.

Yeah definitely, that's why I always make sure i'm losing fat with my diet first before i add exercise.

Day 84 - Still No Caffeine

It's my 3rd day on my Caffeine detox and the headaches have gone which is good. I definitely feel calmer today, but I'm still quite snappy (moody)...although productivity is still lacking. What I'm going to do is for today I'm going to relax and not beat myself up too much and then tomorrow If I still don't feel like working, I'm just going to force myself to work instead.

My game detox is going well though, I haven't had many cravings and I've definitely broke the hold it used to have over me. In a way I'm kind of going to be relieved when the detox is over because I just want to get cracking on my next personal challenge and lose that fat :).

Anyhow, that's it for today's entry, not much to say to be honest. I'll catch you folks later.

What I'm Grateful For:

  • My Strength
  • My Willpower
  • Being able to walk
  • Being able to breathe
  • Unlimited Internet usage
  • Lol this looks like a staircase :D
  • Yes I'm easilly distracted and take amusment in the smallest things!

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Day 85 - Really Close :o

It's day 85 and it's getting really close to completing this journey. I've learnt so much about myself and even life in general, I honestly believe this will be the catalyst to greater things in my life. 

I'm on my 4th day of no caffeine and my energy feels a little bit better today (still not good though). I have headaches that come and go too, but they aren't too bad.

Thinking about how my energy works too...I'm a bit like a rogue in World Of Warcraft of something. I have that yellow energy bar in my brain and if I do certain things for an amount of time, that bar would deplete and eventually run out. Instead of having one though, I have two. I can assign the energy bars tasks and skills to use it with but once an energy bar has been depleted I need to wait a little bit for it to replenish to start the same task (a bit like a Global Cooldown) again. If I for some reason start something else that isn't boring it replenishes fully and I can keep going.

Yeah...that's exactly how my mind works. Anyways, im going to take a walk to the shop and get some fresh air. I'm starting to get another headache...damn this caffeine malarkey is really horrible! Never again will I use a substance in my body =/

I'll catch you guys soon. :)

What I'm Grateful For:

  • Fresh Air
  • Home Delivered Shopping (ez mode)
  • Vitamin Tablets
  • My Journal
Edited by Falky

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Day 86 - The Last Stretch

I feel a lot fresher today, I'm just hoping this lasts all day instead of just when I wake up, time will tell though. I'm definitely getting to the point where I'm able to concentrate completely and able to work again. I'm hoping tomorrow can be that day where I finally start working again.

I don't know...I haven't got much to say this entry to be honest. All I've done is sleep and try not to game or drink caffeine. Hopefully I'll have more to say tomorrow.

What I'm Grateful For:

  • Vitamin Water
  • KFC
  • Cereal

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Day 87 - Feeling A LOT Better!

I woke up around 45 mins ago and I feel so much more alert and awake, it's verging a point where I feel more alert than when I was on caffeine. I managed to stay awake yesterday and had no headaches! I even did a tonne load of work in the garden and that surprised me.

So today I will attempt some actual work for the first time in a while and see what I can get done. I have a few tasks written down and I will try get those completed.

But yeah wow, im on day 87 and in 3 days I would of done something so big in my life. Something I thought I would never do or could imagine and it feels fantastic, I just want complete it and get on with my next big challenge that I would of never done before! :)

I may also create an achievement board, with things that I have completed in my life. Give me something to strive for so I can fill the empty space on the board :)

Anyways enough journal writing. Time to get to work!

What I'm Grateful For:

  • Sausage & Beans
  • Beautiful Weather
  • My Willpower
  • My Strength

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Day 88 - Every Step I Take

As each day passes I can't believe how far I have come. Thoughts of gaming and self sabotage creep into my mind and the very thought of gaming before the end of my detox is scary. It's like one of those movies when someone is doing a challenge for a shit tonne of money and he almost loses because of some variable he didn't account for lol.

Anyways there's not long to go now and It feels good. Today I woke up later than normal and took a walk to the shop. Then stopped over my parents and helped them with their garden for a little bit. I've left my Mrs round there and I've come back earlier for a bit of peace and quiet and space. I need to mentally prepare for my transition into my next challenge and the amount of work I'm going to do next week.

My caffeine detox is going well also. I think it's my 7th day without any caffeine and I'm feeling really fresh and alert. All of my withdrawal symptoms have gone, all I have to battle with now is the cravings for Dr Pepper, Coca Cola, Energy Drinks etc. They should go within a month or so hopefully.

I'm real happy with my progress, both with my game detox and my caffeine detox. :) If I can apply this progress and mindset over to fat loss then, I'd be epic winning!

Anyways that's it for today, catch you later.

What I'm Grateful For:

  • Any Money I receive
  • YouTube
  • Caffeine free drinks
  • Family

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Day 89 - One Day To Go :o

On this gloomy Sunday morning I'm becoming ever more excited for the end of this detox. Not because I want to game, but because I want to test myself with another challenge. Don't get me wrong it'll be fun gaming on Twitch on my off days lol. As long as I remain productive in my main job and don't fall off track with my personal goals, then gaming will not become a hindrance and I can game in moderation.

I'm not afraid to game in moderation as most are and I believe in myself now that I can game and not let it affect my life. Anyhow. Plans for today are to go round my parents again for dinner and relax a bit then I am to come home and do a bit of work ready for the week ahead.

It's been 8 days now in regards to no caffeine and I feel fantastic! It's been surprisingly easily to do so far as well. Right I'm getting hungry so I'm going to go for my breakfast, I'll catch you soon.

What I'm Grateful For:

  • Juicy Orange Juice
  • Caffeine Detox
  • Skype 

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Day 90 - DONE IT!

WOO! It's day 90 and it feels bloody awesome :D The past ninety days have been a real journey of discovery and challenge. Looking back now it felt so good having something to wake up for and to try and continue on with. Even though I didn't get much done in regards to work and stuff, I definitely learnt a lot about myself. This game detox is something that I definitely needed to do.

This willpower I have developed and the knowledge I have gained...nothing is too big for me to do now. I'll keep this entry short and I will explain more over in the Celebrate section. :)

I will still carry on with this journal though as this will now be used as a post-game detox journal plus as a challenge journal. Today I plan to create a VLog, do some tinkering with my computer software and then workout how my next challenge (fat loss) is going to go down.

Yesterday was fun though. My brother and I got hold of my parents Jet washer and we ended up cleaning their patio, fences and rubbish bins haha.

But yeah, this game detox was the start of something great for me. :)

I'll catch you tomorrow to let you know what has gone on today and stuff.

What I'm Grateful For:

  • Game Detox
  • Bacon Sarnie
  • My Bonsai Tree
  • Silence

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It's the day after my detox and a day before my fat loss challenge. Today has been one of those days where I wish I didn't wake up. From the point of waking up everything has gone bloody wrong!!

It's been non-stop raining and it literally hasn't stopped. I get woken up by my Mrs telling me a load of stuff that I needed to do whilst she goes out, immediately I get wound up and she of all people knows not to do that. Then whilst its chucking it down i had to go round my parents to pick up some letters that she left there. Then go from my parents to the shop...all whilst it's pissing it down. Then I had to spend money on bloody stamps and post the letters. I walk back and im absolutely drenched by this point and as soon as I reach the door I realized I've left my keys round my parents!

I then proceed to repeat the exact same journey and when I do end up getting back my food is soggy and cold. I manage to calm down a fraction and I try to then get some work done, I launch up the stream and no sound is being streamed apart from my mic, So I spend an hour trying to get that to work, eventually I get so angry I had to walk away.

Fast forward an hour or two and it's dinner time and at this point the Mrs is still out...i said to her yesterday that I was going to grab a Kebab. No word of a lie I get 40 feet away from the back door and she rings saying did I get her one too. At the point I lost it...once again!

So yet again it's been another day of no work...I haven't exactly played many games either. I'm just so fed up at the moment.

I tell you what, for a day that was meant to be a celebration I'm in a right foul mood! I seriously hope tomorrow is better.

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Hang in there bro. The sun will rise again tomorrow.

Thanks Cam :)

Day 1 - Start Of My Fat Shredding!

Weight - 19.6 Stone

Goal - 17.8St

I definitely feel better today and a lot more productive. I just finished my VLog and that is currently rendering, so that should be uploaded in the next hour. Once I've uploaded that I'm going to start on my next video, which is going to be a Tech Review. Anyhow I weighed in today I weighed in and I put on 5 pounds which was expected. My goal is to reach 17.8 stone in 90 days.

The lowest I've been since I could remember was 17.11 Stone, so it will be a great milestone and achievement for me to get there. Because I've done my game detox, I know that I can definitely do this fat loss now! Tonight I'm going to be doing a tonne load of research into losing this fat and I WILL succeed.

Anyways whilst this VLog is uploading I'm going to go back to editing another video, I'll chat soon folks. :)

PS: I don't know where I'd be now if it wasn't for this forum and this journal.

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