The Story Of An Angry Gamer

[Falky]

Hi All, My name's Nick or as I'm known in my gaming circles and online business 'Falky'.

I've been gaming pretty much all my life since the age of I would say 8 or 9. I remember one of the first games I became truly addicted to was Gizmos and Gadgets on the old PC Operating Systems. Whilst growing up I was quite an outgoing young lad and the only times I played video games was when I had friends over or it was raining, cold etc.

Over the years growing up I played PlayStation 1 and 2 religiously almost everyday, games such as Simpsons Hit & Run, Smugglers Run, GTA, need for speed and The Sims. I wasn't a one game, player...I played virtually everything! (still the same to this day) I would go from one game to another looking for different story-lines and different challenges.

Then mid teens around the age of 15/16 Call Of Duty 4 came out and I put in around 400+ hours, I was pretty good too. I was in a clan and we had scheduled matches...the thrill of getting the last kill was indescribable to a non-gamer. I bet anyone on this forum knows what I'm talking about though. You're focused, you're heart is pounding out of your chest and it feels like you can conquer the world.

Combine that feeling with the social aspect, I met numerous friends whilst playing. All I could think about was playing COD and for the first time in my life I was attached to one game. Roll forward 2 or so years, the one game that soaked up all of my time, social life and confidence came out...World Of Warcraft!

I saw my cousin playing it and when I watched for that 10 or so minutes, all I wanted to do was play it. A week later I purchased the game and logged in for the first time (spent around an hour on character creation) and entered the world with my Human Warrior, Falklang.

That single moment changed my whole life and for the next 4-5 years I put in around 1 year's worth of game time. To say I had a problem was an understatement! Even though I met some amazing people playing, I felt like I could of done more in my late teenager years.

Around the time of me playing I also developed Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues. This issues combined with my bad Anger problems which I've had all my life led to a rather unstable life for me.

I'm now 25 years old, I've managed to eliminate my Anxieties and calmed my anger down to a point where it's not affecting my life anymore. I'm now an author, publisher and run a online business. (just started but it's growing)

The only obstacles I yet have to conquer is my gaming and weight loss. The only real game I play now is World Of Tanks...well until a couple of days ago that is. I was having a bad day and thought a game of tanks would zone me out of reality for a bit. Boy was I wrong.

I got demolished in the space of 2 minutes and the inevitable red midst descended, I punched the table a few times, slammed my mouse down and manged to calm down. Where I slammed the mouse down though I broke the right button...so again I got angry ripped the mouse out of the computer and threw it. If it did work, it didn't now for sure!

For the past couple of days now, I haven't played a game and instead I've been working, learning and relaxing. Whilst writing this I would of instead been gaming and not thinking about life or what I'm doing.

I think me breaking that mouse was a sign I need to move on from a life of gaming and distraction. I've recently moved into a new home too, my previous home I lived in for three quarters of my life.

Now's my chance to start fresh, smash my goals and leave gaming in the past. In the future I may play a couple of matches with friends to say hello, but games will never have the grip on me in which they did have in the past.

So once again hello everyone, I hope I can make some new non-gamer friends here.

[EscapistNoMore]

Hey, a fellow writer! That's cool that you have a publishing business, way to go on that.

And thanks for sharing your story - I think that sort of anger is something everyone here can relate to. When I was still gaming I didn't play multiplayer games often because of the bouts of rage it would put me through, and I didn't like the person I became when that happened. Right now, I'm 50 days into my 90-day detox. It's been easy for me because I got rid of every gaming device I owned (so there's no real temptation) but I know that's not the route for everyone. Coming to these forums is a great step - everyone here supports and encourages each other, and Cam has a great series of videos on his Youtube channel about all things gaming addiction related. I've found that a starting a daily journal here is a good way to keep accountable and just a good way to wind down and reflect. Even though I may not have the ability to game, I'm still working on my self-control, trying to keep from browsing the internet all day and instead getting stuff done (I am a writer, after all, and I can't write if I'm on Reddit all the time!).

Welcome, and thanks again for posting. Keep it up, it's possible.

[Falky]

Hey, a fellow writer! That's cool that you have a publishing business, way to go on that.

And thanks for sharing your story - I think that sort of anger is something everyone here can relate to. When I was still gaming I didn't play multiplayer games often because of the bouts of rage it would put me through, and I didn't like the person I became when that happened. Right now, I'm 50 days into my 90-day detox. It's been easy for me because I got rid of every gaming device I owned (so there's no real temptation) but I know that's not the route for everyone. Coming to these forums is a great step - everyone here supports and encourages each other, and Cam has a great series of videos on his Youtube channel about all things gaming addiction related. I've found that a starting a daily journal here is a good way to keep accountable and just a good way to wind down and reflect. Even though I may not have the ability to game, I'm still working on my self-control, trying to keep from browsing the internet all day and instead getting stuff done (I am a writer, after all, and I can't write if I'm on Reddit all the time!).

Welcome, and thanks again for posting. Keep it up, it's possible.

Thanks and yeah it's very early but im making great progress towards what I want in regards to business. Anger...yup, I've lost count the amount of desks, doors and equipment I've ruined due to gaming induced rages lol.

Good job on the 50 days mate! I'm at 4 days so far, the longest I've gone for is around 2 weeks (being abroad on holiday). In a while I'll create a journal in the other section, should be an interesting journey

Cheers.

[Cam Adair]

Yo Nick!

[Cam Adair]

Hey, a fellow writer! That's cool that you have a publishing business, way to go on that.

And thanks for sharing your story - I think that sort of anger is something everyone here can relate to. When I was still gaming I didn't play multiplayer games often because of the bouts of rage it would put me through, and I didn't like the person I became when that happened. Right now, I'm 50 days into my 90-day detox. It's been easy for me because I got rid of every gaming device I owned (so there's no real temptation) but I know that's not the route for everyone. Coming to these forums is a great step - everyone here supports and encourages each other, and Cam has a great series of videos on his Youtube channel about all things gaming addiction related. I've found that a starting a daily journal here is a good way to keep accountable and just a good way to wind down and reflect. Even though I may not have the ability to game, I'm still working on my self-control, trying to keep from browsing the internet all day and instead getting stuff done (I am a writer, after all, and I can't write if I'm on Reddit all the time!).

Welcome, and thanks again for posting. Keep it up, it's possible.

Thanks and yeah it's very early but im making great progress towards what I want in regards to business. Anger...yup, I've lost count the amount of desks, doors and equipment I've ruined due to gaming induced rages lol.

Good job on the 50 days mate! I'm at 4 days so far, the longest I've gone for is around 2 weeks (being abroad on holiday). In a while I'll create a journal in the other section, should be an interesting journey

Cheers.

You're awesome too.

[WorkInProgress]

Nice having you here Nick. I will surely check out your journal if it comes!

[Falky]

Nice having you here Nick. I will surely check out your journal if it comes!

 

Yo Nick!

Thanks guys, it's good to be here  and my Journal is now up if you want to check it out.

Edited March 6, 2016 by Falky