Hello,

Today I woke up at around 9:40 AM. I went out with my family to have breakfast, buy groceries, and have lunch. I arrived at home an hour ago, and I stored all the groceries, and now I am writing this. Later I will store some recently ironed clothes in their respective drawers, and then go for a walk. Later, I will have dinner with friends.

Day 1 without gaming, since my last setback.

Hello,

Yesterday I went out to have dinner with friends, and returned home at 1 am. I slept in, had breakfast, got dressed, and did some chores.

Hello,

I woke up at 9 AM today, and dedicated my morning to finish reading a 500+ page book. I read it in less than a week, and I believe I managed to do so due to the fact that I bought a dumbphone, and haven't used my smartphone all that much, in addition to quitting gaming. My life is slowly returning to me.

Hello

Today I had to use my smartphone, but as soon as I was done with it, I stored it away immediately. Went to the dentist today, and it is possible I will have to extract some teeth, as well as use braces again (I used braces during 8th grade), to correct the position of my teeth. It will be expensive, but thankfully I have enough money saved up to face this expense

Hello

Woke up a bit later than yesterday. Had breakfast, read some pages of a book, and now I'm writing this. I will now review some flashcards, while I am waiting to get my main laptop shipped out to the repair shop

Good afternoon.

Woke up at the same time as yesterday. Did some chores, cooked and ate lunch, reviewed some Anki flashcards and watched anime. My vacations are almost over, and I'm ready to get to work. Day 6 of no games and no porn

Nice journal so far @FormerSKyrimEnjoyer , great to hear about the quick reading of the book, adds so much more to your life than stinky vidya!

Grats on the no porn as well, it's still kicking my butt on the weekends. Like I mentioned in my journal I think I'm focusing hard on getting to no games 90 days, then I'll put a lot of effort into no porn for 90 days.

Godspeed!

Good morning!

I woke up much earlier today, and used that time to continue reading another book (the 6th in the last three weeks). I'm using my vacation time well when it comes to reading. I've also been watching a lot of anime and resumed my japanese studies.

However, there is something I need to improve - more physical activity. I've been using the excuse that the weather where I live has been terrible to avoid going on walks, but the truth is I can do some physical activity at home. Perhaps because I've been focusing too much on reading, anime, study and chores, I ended up relapsing to porn yesterday, as well as watching some gaming content on YouTube.

Anyways, today marks a week of not gaming.

On 12/11/2025 at 11:29 PM, Pulse said:

Nice journal so far @FormerSKyrimEnjoyer , great to hear about the quick reading of the book, adds so much more to your life than stinky vidya!

Grats on the no porn as well, it's still kicking my butt on the weekends. Like I mentioned in my journal I think I'm focusing hard on getting to no games 90 days, then I'll put a lot of effort into no porn for 90 days.

Godspeed!

Gotta hold you accountable for it though. 31.12.25 is the date when you are planning to start the no porn streak, is that right?

15 hours ago, FormerSKyrimEnjoyer said:

I can do some physical activity at home

You've got that right.

15 hours ago, FormerSKyrimEnjoyer said:

watching some gaming content on YouTube

Do not underestimate this beast. It creates images in your mind that promote coming back to the old habits. Cut it out, find something else to consume. That is - If you want to stay gaming free.
The sooner - The better. I am of course writing on a superficial level and don't know the details. Nonetheless, that is how things look for me on the surface, and that is how they were for me.

Remember, the mind does not understand the word "not" try to tell yourself - don't think of a pink Elephant, don't think of a pink Elephant, don't think of a pink Elephant.... Guess what you'll be thinking about? Pink elephant... Of course it's important to have a set mental boundary of "not gaming" I have that too. But it is equally important to have something also pull you in another direction. Look for something to get yourself busy with. A goal to occupy your time. And a worthwhile and challenging one at that.

Again just some thoughts thrown on a paper.

Feel free to express any of your own thoughts on that matter :)

21 hours ago, Yan said:

Gotta hold you accountable for it though. 31.12.25 is the date when you are planning to start the no porn streak, is that right?

That's correct!

Yes, it's extremely tough. It's not the physical act of MO with P that I have an issue with, just the act of looking at P - and it's a really tough one to stop forever. I can maybe go a week maybe sometimes two weeks, but that's as much as I can manage if I really push myself.

I will be frequenting the NoFap and PornFree subreddits as well when I start 31.12.25, I'll need to be checking in there every day. I do have strategies from when I first completed NoFap and PornFree around 15 years ago now, so I'll need to find those again and employ them.

Thanks Yan.

3 hours ago, Pulse said:

That's correct!

Yes, it's extremely tough. It's not the physical act of MO with P that I have an issue with, just the act of looking at P - and it's a really tough one to stop forever. I can maybe go a week maybe sometimes two weeks, but that's as much as I can manage if I really push myself.

I will be frequenting the NoFap and PornFree subreddits as well when I start 31.12.25, I'll need to be checking in there every day. I do have strategies from when I first completed NoFap and PornFree around 15 years ago now, so I'll need to find those again and employ them.

Thanks Yan.

I don't know if I said that, but I once took the 90 day no "P" challenge. But then I channeled my energy into talking to girls on the street with the goal to get intercourse. Maybe that can be a strategy for you and you can dive into that subject and consume content on the subject when you take the challenge on

Yesterday I had a busy day - I left my home at 12:00 pm and only got back after midnight. I had lunch with friends to celebrate a birthday, and then I had a Christmas dinner with other friends. They were both in the capital city (I live in the suburbs), so it meant a lot of driving and a lot of walking. Because I was busy, I did not write here, but I also did not play any games

On 12/13/2025 at 1:24 AM, Yan said:

You've got that right.

Do not underestimate this beast. It creates images in your mind that promote coming back to the old habits. Cut it out, find something else to consume. That is - If you want to stay gaming free.
The sooner - The better. I am of course writing on a superficial level and don't know the details. Nonetheless, that is how things look for me on the surface, and that is how they were for me.

Remember, the mind does not understand the word "not" try to tell yourself - don't think of a pink Elephant, don't think of a pink Elephant, don't think of a pink Elephant.... Guess what you'll be thinking about? Pink elephant... Of course it's important to have a set mental boundary of "not gaming" I have that too. But it is equally important to have something also pull you in another direction. Look for something to get yourself busy with. A goal to occupy your time. And a worthwhile and challenging one at that.

Again just some thoughts thrown on a paper.

Feel free to express any of your own thoughts on that matter :)

As someone that has been on this journey for five years, I definitely understand that watching gaming content will inevitably lead me back to games. Games are extremely addictive, requiring multiple substitute activities to replace it. I shared a list of things I want to do instead of gaming, and I will try to stick with those

19 hours ago, Yan said:

I don't know if I said that, but I once took the 90 day no "P" challenge. But then I channeled my energy into talking to girls on the street with the goal to get intercourse. Maybe that can be a strategy for you and you can dive into that subject and consume content on the subject when you take the challenge on

Cold approach?! Yes I used to do that as well, do you still do it? My dating is fairly inexistent at the moment, I do need to get back into it, though, definitely.

10 hours ago, FormerSKyrimEnjoyer said:

As someone that has been on this journey for five years, I definitely understand that watching gaming content will inevitably lead me back to games. Games are extremely addictive, requiring multiple substitute activities to replace it. I shared a list of things I want to do instead of gaming, and I will try to stick with those

I do have this issue as well, in my introduction post I said I'd eliminate all gaming media but I still haven't done it. I don't feel like it takes up a lot of my time but maybe I do get slight urges if I watch videos of games. So it's something I should probably stop doing at some point.

Hello

First day of work after returning from vacation. Woke up at 6, did a 40min workout in the early morning, and began working a few minutes before 9. A very productive but intense day so far, since I had to do a lot of catching up at work due to my 3-week long vacation. Now I am hoping to do some studying before dinner and bed.

Hello

Crazy week with my return to the office. I'm enjoying a break at work right now (and the fact that I'm working from home), to write this. Besides my work, nothing too fancy happened. I worked, I ate, I slept, and I relaxed without playing games - currently on a 14 day streak.

Weekend is coming to an end. I went to a birthday party where we drove karts. It was terrible, the helmet was tight, I couldn't see a damn thing because I my glasses kept getting foggy, just like helmet's Visage. I drove without glasses, meaning I wasn't properly seeing the road. That made me feel very insecure, making my driving worse. My BPD kicked in, and I felt miserable.

In addition, I ended up staying awake until 3 am, and slept in till 12:30 pm. I actually hate going to bed so late, preferring to go to bed early and wake up early

Hello,

Today and yesterday were tranquil days at the office. Many of my coworkers are on vacation, and since nobody works during christmas eve and christmas day, very few work is actually being done. Today I am using that fact to study for my last exam in my Master's Degree. If everything goes according to plan, I will do the exam on the 12th of January, and then I will have 9 months to write my thesis. I am in the endgame now, and I cannot waver.

Merry Christmas everyone! Yesterday, after I left the office and helped my family with some chores, I went to the movie theater to see the last Avatar movie. It was a good experience. In the span of 7 days, I went three times to the movie theater, two of them alone. Going alone was always something I wished to try, and I fell in love with it

However, last night there was a group of teenagers making a lot of noise, always standing up, and throwing popcorn to each other. It ruined the experience for me. In addition, I tried to do a harmless joke in a group chat in WhatsApp, with two of my friends that are in that group sending me DMs saying that it was offensive to one member of the group. I ended up deleting the joke from the group chat, and spent the remainder of the evening feeling like a terrible person. Once again, my BPD kicked in

In fact, I feel like my BPD symptoms are getting worse, not better, despite having a stable job, being on my way to finish my degree, having a relatively large social circle. Yet, I feel my mood swings are getting worse, the feelings of emptiness are stronger, and suicidal ideation is always around the corner. When I think that I potentially have multiple decades of existence ahead of me, I feel immense dread

Sorry for not writing the most suited message for the festivities, but this is how I feel.

Merry Christmas @FormerSKyrimEnjoyer , if it's any consolation as I've said to a couple of others: even with your trials that you face, you're still trying to better yourself each and every day. An addiction which most people wouldn't even dream of overcoming, and here you, I, and everyone else on their recovery journey, are.

Sure, you sent an offensive joke, but who doesn't every once in a while? Lessons learnt, we're human.

Yes, you have a stable job, finishing your degree, got a good friend circle. Not saying your other trials are trivial but yeah you're doing better than most people in this day and age, so keep your chin up and be proud of what you're accomplishing and what you've already accomplished.

Have a great Christmas, relax, treat yourself (just not with games! 😂), and I'll see you in the New Year, homeh!

On 12/24/2025 at 11:30 PM, Pulse said:

Merry Christmas @FormerSKyrimEnjoyer , if it's any consolation as I've said to a couple of others: even with your trials that you face, you're still trying to better yourself each and every day. An addiction which most people wouldn't even dream of overcoming, and here you, I, and everyone else on their recovery journey, are.

Sure, you sent an offensive joke, but who doesn't every once in a while? Lessons learnt, we're human.

Yes, you have a stable job, finishing your degree, got a good friend circle. Not saying your other trials are trivial but yeah you're doing better than most people in this day and age, so keep your chin up and be proud of what you're accomplishing and what you've already accomplished.

Have a great Christmas, relax, treat yourself (just not with games! 😂), and I'll see you in the New Year, homeh!

I thank you for your kind words! I am trying to improve myself, but I always have the feeling that I am not doing enough, due in part to my Borderline. It is all in my mind, but I never managed to let it go.

Hello. Christmas went by quickly, and today I am getting back to work. I mean, I won't have much to do, but i still need to be connected in case something comes up.

Also, 21 days free of gaming

16 hours ago, FormerSKyrimEnjoyer said:

21 days free of gaming

Spot on. When it's getting hard remember you're not alone. There are other people walking the same path as you. Here on the forum and in other places.
We need you to fulfill your potential and make the best contribution to society, for the well being of us all. Which is, what I believe, the most important thing a man could do.
I mean how much further could you come than the invention of the light bulb? Or another long lasting impact on society that lasts way longer than your death?