Figure I’d re intro my self as it’s been years since I really posted here

I am ZenYogi I wanted to change my name on here to ZenYogi @admin support?

I think I tried to make a new account with that but don’t know where it went heh. I could be ZenYogii

That’d be fine too

Om

Right so I was clean off games a good four years ish and relapsed then learned to moderate and be a functional gamer. Like going to bed in the 1030-1130 range with maybe 3 hours games a day. Sometimes more or less.

But, fuck all that it needs to be gotten rid of for me. For me it’s a no go on game time. It just sucks the damn life right out of me like a leech on my thumbs on my neck as soon as I start playing as soon as I open a game.

It starts to drain me. I find myself falling off on all my goals: financial, fitness, social and mental health, it all gets watered down.

People, even my therapist tells me, “well you’re doing well overall. You have a good job, you’re saving money, you have good mental health and social life. You’re healthy etc.”

But it’s not good enough for me. I’m not satisfied I’m not healthy as I can be I want to be my best self and thriving. Not just getting by at a better than average clip. I WANT TO EXCEL!!! I want to perform optimally for me. I want to be the best zen yogi I can be. I want to chase my paragons to be like my heroes who accomplished such heights who made the plays to keep moving forward. One step at a time and not plateau. Not settle for what other peoples standards were. But to fulfill the standards within their own hearts and souls

Hi @TheNewMe2.0

1st of all I had a look at your profile and I noticed you mention Goku and you find him as being your inspirational fictional character.

From the Dragon Ball world, mine is Vegeta, for whatever reason I find myself relating more with Vegeta than any other character, but Goku is the goat, we all know it :D

Congratulations on being an active member on this forum and for replying to other posts and helping people out, this shows that you've been on a constant improving version of youself, so congratulations for that , especially for being 4 years off of games :) !!

I'm going trough something similar like you mentioned above, maybe the main reason why we lack motivation and fall out on different areas is caused by a burnout that we can't acknowledge/recognize yet.

I booked a week in a city in a mountain region to have a whole week holiday in order to disconnect from work and the daily hustles.

Try a vaccation, go into a specific place , recharge your batteries, and I am sure you'll get the right energy to figh off your negative feelings

Yesterday I felt like shit, i did not had any drive whatsoever, but just because I booked an entire week in a mountain region where I can go hiking, eat at a good traditional restaurant etc etc, it gave me the right push I needed.

Today i'm full of energy and drive, I just finished all of my tickets at work (I work in IT) and I took a cigarrette break (bad habbit i know) and I'm reviewing my itinerary for the trip.

But the point is that just because I scheduled my holiday , it gave me a boost that helped me today to feel full of energy, finish my tickets at my workplace in just 2 hours and now I have nothing to do but wait for the time to pass so I can get home and read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

Keep looking for something that would help you with your sense of falling off on all my goals (financial, fitness, social etc) , maybe that would be playing football/soccer / golf etc, going on trips, drawing, painting , reading a book ,whatever helps you to relax in such a way that will boost your energy.

Maybe you're going through a burnout that you can't really put your finger on it and say "this is exactly why i'm feeling like this" and it might not be related to gaming.

Good luck and all the best 💪

On 9/23/2025 at 4:34 AM, Adrian said:

Hi @TheNewMe2.0

1st of all I had a look at your profile and I noticed you mention Goku and you find him as being your inspirational fictional character.

From the Dragon Ball world, mine is Vegeta, for whatever reason I find myself relating more with Vegeta than any other character, but Goku is the goat, we all know it :D

Congratulations on being an active member on this forum and for replying to other posts and helping people out, this shows that you've been on a constant improving version of youself, so congratulations for that , especially for being 4 years off of games :) !!

I'm going trough something similar like you mentioned above, maybe the main reason why we lack motivation and fall out on different areas is caused by a burnout that we can't acknowledge/recognize yet.

I booked a week in a city in a mountain region to have a whole week holiday in order to disconnect from work and the daily hustles.

Try a vaccation, go into a specific place , recharge your batteries, and I am sure you'll get the right energy to figh off your negative feelings

Yesterday I felt like shit, i did not had any drive whatsoever, but just because I booked an entire week in a mountain region where I can go hiking, eat at a good traditional restaurant etc etc, it gave me the right push I needed.

Today i'm full of energy and drive, I just finished all of my tickets at work (I work in IT) and I took a cigarrette break (bad habbit i know) and I'm reviewing my itinerary for the trip.

But the point is that just because I scheduled my holiday , it gave me a boost that helped me today to feel full of energy, finish my tickets at my workplace in just 2 hours and now I have nothing to do but wait for the time to pass so I can get home and read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

Keep looking for something that would help you with your sense of falling off on all my goals (financial, fitness, social etc) , maybe that would be playing football/soccer / golf etc, going on trips, drawing, painting , reading a book ,whatever helps you to relax in such a way that will boost your energy.

Maybe you're going through a burnout that you can't really put your finger on it and say "this is exactly why i'm feeling like this" and it might not be related to gaming.

Good luck and all the best 💪

Thanks so much Adrian. A kind word goes a long way for me. Feels impossible sometimes, maybe I can make it easier on myself and find things to keep me game sober.

You seems comfy here and doing well. So I just hope I can feel that positive good feeling with posting here regularly too. I just post here whenever I get urges and also at least twice a week is my aim.

Yeah one thing at a time with the cigarettes. Right now I’m trying to get serious about exercise and stop gaming. Like trying to get more serious about my career too seems hard af. So I’m just doing the best I can with where I’m at. Maybe another week of going hard at sobriety and mma before I’m ready to go hard at more work hours. Have a good day !

On 9/24/2025 at 9:11 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:

Right now I’m trying to get serious about exercise and stop gaming. Like trying to get more serious about my career too seems hard af. So I’m just doing the best I can with where I’m at. Maybe another week of going hard at sobriety and mma before I’m ready to go hard at more work hours. Have a good day !

Thank you for your kind words @TheNewMe2.0 , I appreciate that, and it helps me as well :)

I few years ago I did wrestling and I went to competitions, I never managed to win/take the 1st place, but the closest I have even been was a 2nd place for a christmas tournament.

For the national finals I got on the 8th place, that was pretty good for me :)

I gave up in the end because I was not focusing on school so much ,so I had to take a decision, wrestling or school, and I went the route of studying which in return got me a career in IT.

I went to the gym after I gave up on wrestling but I always had a month,two months or so where I didn't do anything so basically I kinda of cut down my own progress in the gym.

It's taugh indeed and being a disciplined individual isn't easy, it takes a lot of will power to respect your plans and to respect yourself.

Now I don't go to the gym anymore as I adopted a more classical , old-school approach of just doing push-ups, pull-uls, squats at home and I take advantage of some dumpbells and elastic bends.

Now I'm just focusing on staying lean, hence the reason why I don't go into the gym anymore.

Bu that's not the point., my point is that I understand how difficult it is to keep a tight schedule, especially when you're not in the mood, it's tough, but only discipline gets us there.

And it's fine if you skip a day or two, even a week, but the main point is that you started something good for yourself and it's good for your body,mind and spirit, it motivates you, you feel good after you finish a workout :D

I applaude your initiative of looking out a gym close to your areas where you plan to visit Puerto Rico, that's an amazing idea and an amazing step forward on your behalf

Good luck and stay strong brother, you got this ! 💪💪💪

On 9/26/2025 at 2:19 PM, Adrian said:

Thank you for your kind words @TheNewMe2.0 , I appreciate that, and it helps me as well :)

I few years ago I did wrestling and I went to competitions, I never managed to win/take the 1st place, but the closest I have even been was a 2nd place for a christmas tournament.

For the national finals I got on the 8th place, that was pretty good for me :)

I gave up in the end because I was not focusing on school so much ,so I had to take a decision, wrestling or school, and I went the route of studying which in return got me a career in IT.

I went to the gym after I gave up on wrestling but I always had a month,two months or so where I didn't do anything so basically I kinda of cut down my own progress in the gym.

It's taugh indeed and being a disciplined individual isn't easy, it takes a lot of will power to respect your plans and to respect yourself.

Now I don't go to the gym anymore as I adopted a more classical , old-school approach of just doing push-ups, pull-uls, squats at home and I take advantage of some dumpbells and elastic bends.

Now I'm just focusing on staying lean, hence the reason why I don't go into the gym anymore.

Bu that's not the point., my point is that I understand how difficult it is to keep a tight schedule, especially when you're not in the mood, it's tough, but only discipline gets us there.

And it's fine if you skip a day or two, even a week, but the main point is that you started something good for yourself and it's good for your body,mind and spirit, it motivates you, you feel good after you finish a workout :D

I applaude your initiative of looking out a gym close to your areas where you plan to visit Puerto Rico, that's an amazing idea and an amazing step forward on your behalf

Good luck and stay strong brother, you got this ! 💪💪💪

Thanks man. I’m on day six here it’s been hard. Especially when free time hits hehe. That’s really awesome and impressive what you did with wrestling. I still want to compete now.

Feels like people want me to stop sometimes but I just block it out. They probably want me to keep going who knows. But I’ll beat the challenges somehow, I have to keep trying. For me and for my inner child who always dreamed of being the best somehow. Haha.

22 hours ago, TheNewMe2.0 said:

Thanks man. I’m on day six here it’s been hard. Especially when free time hits hehe. That’s really awesome and impressive what you did with wrestling. I still want to compete now.

Feels like people want me to stop sometimes but I just block it out. They probably want me to keep going who knows. But I’ll beat the challenges somehow, I have to keep trying. For me and for my inner child who always dreamed of being the best somehow. Haha.

We all have out inned child that comes out from time to time , my dream as a child was to become like Batman :))

Stay strong man, you got this 💪💪

Great intro, and yes at the end when you say

On 9/18/2025 at 1:57 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:

...But it’s not good enough for me. I’m not satisfied I’m not healthy as I can be I want to be my best self and thriving. Not just getting by at a better than average clip. I WANT TO EXCEL!!! I want to perform optimally for me. I want to be the best zen yogi I can be. I want to chase my paragons to be like my heroes who accomplished such heights who made the plays to keep moving forward. One step at a time and not plateau. Not settle for what other peoples standards were. But to fulfill the standards within their own hearts and souls

It really resonates. It's a topic I want to bring up on my journal at some point, but in summary, you know how you'll see real people (athletes etc.) on the TV say things like 'I'm glad I'm able to be an inspiration for people to reach their own goals and make their own dreams become a reality. If I can do it, so can you. I'm proof that you can do whatever it is that you want to do', it's that that I want to capitalise on and I guess stop putting effort into things that essentially don't help me to become the best me I can be, for me.

To then hopefully inspire other people to do the same thing, just as a person on TV did for me. Not necessarily on such a large scale, but hey maybe my kids (if I have them) one day, or my sibling, or my friends and family, for them to say 'Hey, you had a goal you wanted to accomplish, you stuck to it, and you did it - that's inspiring, and I'm proud of you'.

But it's setting goals that apply to US, rather than trying to be a copycat of other people's expectations. What do you want to be great at today, in a week/month/year/5 years/10 years. Following that goal, and completing it.

It's how in a game, there's a game I played called FC (or FIFA some people might remember it as) you get special footballer cards called Icons which were essentially the best footballers in history - instead of fawning over other people's success, I want to focus and fawn over my own success - and without sounding too cringe: I want to be the 'icon' in my own story. Sure, most of us will never be as famous nor as financially wealthy as these football stars (unless that's your goal, of course!), but again in our own lives we all have our own goals, and being able to reach those goals by trimming off the fat in our lives (gaming and other vices) will get us there.

Hey TheNewMe2.0!

Your post really reminds me of myself.
Discipline is what carried me to the top of the mountain more than once. It’s been the backbone of every real change Ive made.

At the same time, I’ve been realizing something on my own path: if we want to reach even higher - to really reach for the sky - we also need self-acceptance. Not as an excuse to settle, but as a stable ground to grow from.

For me, discipline works best when it’s paired with honesty and compassion toward myself. That combination feels more sustainable and more aligned with the long game.

Thanks for sharing your perspective - it helped me reflect on my own.

On 9/18/2025 at 2:57 PM, TheNewMe2.0 said:

It starts to drain me. I find myself falling off on all my goals: financial, fitness, social and mental health, it all gets watered down.

I have similar exepriecne with relapsing.... I wasn't playing fro 46 weeks. that was on late July 2023( also docuemtned in my journal here) . Then I somehow convinced myself that I can control gaming. So I went and bought PS5 with Battlefield V. Along the way I told my friends( actually its one friend and my wife) that this whole addiction to gaming is BS and im not addictive and I can control it. Which was true... for the first few months . I was sitll reading attending the gym, reading books, excelling at work. But the numbers don't lie: In 2022 I read 36 books, in 2023: 20, in 2024: 15 and in 2025: 7. Also I have marriage problems ( not bc of gaming) but I genuinely think if I did not play this much, I could proper focus to fix my marriage issues. At work I am on total burn out. Only looking to do my work to acceoptacne level(read poorly ) and quickly so I can play.. jsut one more game..
I also have my personal business idea ( Simulation platform). And I am not working on that with full commitment at all. IT's look like this: I do some tasks ( it's vibe programming) which takes like 10-15m to only give myslef reward: 2h playing.... I also regurarly attended gym, now I barely can make once per 2weeks. As in a free day, instead of going, I am choosing gaming and I am convincing myself that I deserve it as I am going through a lot of lately... and its been like that for almost a year.
Like I said on the beggining of when I decided to relapse( 2023) I thought it is working, I was playing 1h, than done some reading, hit the gym. But this all now soudns like a dream to me. I cannot imagine now just go for gym or reading... no chance when BF V is waiting for me....
My point is it is an illusion that you can control it, gaming drains my life now like never before. Today I decided to again start not playing. I plan to sell my PS5 and all games... This time I am not even telling my friends, there is no point. If they ask, I will tell them only its just not for me.
Keep it up @TheNewMe2.0 . I will be visiting you journal to give yopui support.

Edited January 11Jan 11 by reader

12 hours ago, reader said:

I have similar exepriecne with relapsing.... I wasn't playing fro 46 weeks. that was on late July 2023( also docuemtned in my journal here) . Then I somehow convinced myself that I can control gaming. So I went and bought PS5 with Battlefield V. Along the way I told my friends( actually its one friend and my wife) that this whole addiction to gaming is BS and im not addictive and I can control it. Which was true... for the first few months . I was sitll reading attending the gym, reading books, excelling at work. But the numbers don't lie: In 2022 I read 36 books, in 2023: 20, in 2024: 15 and in 2025: 7. Also I have marriage problems ( not bc of gaming) but I genuinely think if I did not play this much, I could proper focus to fix my marriage issues. At work I am on total burn out. Only looking to do my work to acceoptacne level(read poorly ) and quickly so I can play.. jsut one more game..
I also have my personal business idea ( Simulation platform). And I am not working on that with full commitment at all. IT's look like this: I do some tasks ( it's vibe programming) which takes like 10-15m to only give myslef reward: 2h playing.... I also regurarly attended gym, now I barely can make once per 2weeks. As in a free day, instead of going, I am choosing gaming and I am convincing myself that I deserve it as I am going through a lot of lately... and its been like that for almost a year.
Like I said on the beggining of when I decided to relapse( 2023) I thought it is working, I was playing 1h, than done some reading, hit the gym. But this all now soudns like a dream to me. I cannot imagine now just go for gym or reading... no chance when BF V is waiting for me....
My point is it is an illusion that you can control it, gaming drains my life now like never before. Today I decided to again start not playing. I plan to sell my PS5 and all games... This time I am not even telling my friends, there is no point. If they ask, I will tell them only its just not for me.
Keep it up @TheNewMe2.0 . I will be visiting you journal to give yopui support.

I'm very happy for you! We are with you. Welcome back! United we stand, divided with fall. Stick together, team.