Requesting to be unbanned from the Discord server (I need your support more than ever now)

[MaxiFyer]

I never thought the ban was fair, as I didn't break any of the rules listed in the server at the time, and my career choice is gaming related. After speaking to a couple of people, I can see why what I said was somewhat inappropriate in that server, but the mods could've at the very least warned me instead of suddenly banning me and then ghost me. Very unprofessional!

I later saw that the r/stopgaming subreddit introduced a new rule: "Do not justify or rationalize gaming." Listen, my intention wasn't to "justify" gaming, but not everyone wants to quit forever. They may still need support and guidance. Whether or not it can be done depends on the individual. Everyone's different. I don't even play every day anymore, because I got bored of games. I've never even had withdrawal symptoms from not playing, it was mostly just a way for me to escape from my terrible upbringing, but it's since become a destructive habit of mine. Nowadays, when I do play, I often just play for 30 minutes up to a couple of hours until I get bored.

I'm actually starting to wonder if I truly was addicted, because school was living hell for me as a kid/teen! I was severely bullied, and my teachers were so bad they failed to even teach me how to add and subtract properly! (at first, I thought I was just a bad student, but in early adulthood, I actually found out that they didn't properly teach me the most basic things!)

During my teens, I knew I wasn't going to get into high school, so I spent my time teaching myself how to code instead, and I'd often play video games for hours on my awful computer without a case (I grew up with a chronically ill mother who couldn't afford to buy me parts for a proper gaming rig). I would actually play minecraft on an integrated intel GPU in the early 2010s.

When I was 16 years old, I was also emotionally blackmailed into a relationship with a girl who ended up committing suicide because I didn't share the same feelings. This absolutely destroyed me at the time, but I've gotten over it now.

When I despite not having a single high school credit managed to get into a game dev college after sending them the source code for a game I wrote, I felt like god had let me into paradise! After moving into the city where the school was located, I was for the first time in my life able to go to parties, nightclubs and bars! 

However, I then managed to use my student loan money to buy parts for the gaming rig I always wanted as a kid. Since then, I started to very often get late for school because I'd game until 5 am. At first, I thought it was an actual addiction (and you could argue it was). But now, I'm starting to think I just wanted to use the gaming rig I never had as a kid!

However, now I'm actually bored of gaming! I thought this would give me everything I wanted, but I was soo wrong!

These days, I actually feel better when I go out for walks than when I play video games on my computer. I don't even feel cravings or anything, never did.

 

 

Now I'll get to why I need your support:

I want to finish my high school education, and I've been admitted to a high school for adults where I'll study for 3 years before getting a piece of paper that says I'm eligible to go to university. I want to do this, partly to prove that I can, but also because I want to study Japanese in Japan afterward. The problem is, I don't really have good study habits, and even though I don't specifically game as much, I easily get distracted even when I try to get things done. This includes YouTube, being on time for school, finishing homework on time, getting exercise, managing your free time and all those things. I'm actually willing to completely cut off gaming for the 3 years I'll be studying. I don't feel the need anymore.

If you're willing to unban me from the Discord server so I can reach out to you for support, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Thank you!

[Cam Adair]

Private message Dejah (@.dejah.) on Discord and if she agrees, you can get unbanned.