Hello World!

[Hosser]

Hi All, my name is Matthew, I am a 21 year old University student from Canada. I want to quit games to take back control in all aspects of my life. In school, I never really learn any of the content, and I sort of just half assed everything and even though I am not failing, I am basically the epitome of average, I have average grades, I dont attend events or participate in activities or clubs, I dont have any hobbies outside of gaming, I dont really have any uni friends and only hang out with the same small group from highschool, and I feel as though my lack of care towards my schoolwork has really shot me in the foot in terms of learning and employability (Im in Computer Science, and yet I can barely code on my own, and I am in the third year of the program). Currently I have been trying to search for a COOP position but have had no luck, and I guess this experience has really shone a light on all the things in my life that I am doing wrong. I think all of these social and school related issues stem from gaming, since I would rather play a quick game of league then sit down and study for that test that is coming up. I constantly wait and cram work at the very end and I dont really understand the content I am reading and just get AI to summarize it. If I cant even get myself to read a textbook for 20 minutes, and I have this compulsion to play games, its clearly a problem, but ive just been avoiding it and using gaming as a crutch to cope with the stress of school.

But see, thats the cycle, ill play games, say im using it to cope, and yet the games are the issues in the first place and they are what causes me to not want to work or study or do anything difficult. anyways enough of me rambling, TLDR, games have taken over my life socially and academically, and I want to take back my life and begin making changes for the better.

[Ameissen]

Oh man, Matthew, so relatable. Especially on the point of being in the third year of the program and barely being able to code on your own. I studied neuroscience but I still felt the same away about skills related to my profession.

You're on the right path by being here. This issues you say are related to gaming are, absolutely 100%, related to gaming, and they will get immensely easier as you stop gaming.

Even challenges will feel easier, easier in the sense that it is easier to pick up a 20 pound weight when you have muscle, but you can still feel the good workout.

For many people they are energetically blocked -- mental and emotional trauma, stuff they never got around to addressing that happened in their lives -- and this fuels their addictive cycle. Any way of moving that energy, such as through therapy and working out and being outside in nature and being in good company, are all helpful and necessary.

But fundamentally, as you continually summon the strength to overcome your urges to game, your life will improve.

If you happen to go a month without gaming -- and, crucially, no other excessive dopaminergic activity like porn or deep doomscrolling or watching YouTube through the night or binging on a ton of sugar -- you will feel way, way better. You would feel transformed. I speak from direct experience. I underestimated just how dramatic the change was. It was better than I thought, because I was addicted for so long I just couldn't imagine what real happiness would be like.

It is a whole cycle. Keep your eye on the prize: allow your dopamine to recover. Reduce or eliminate excessive stimulation. Replace those voids with what feels nourishing and life-affirming. Things that remind you that you want to live, and not passively die to the slow, poisonous suicide of addiction. If it does not kill you, it will kill your dreams day after day. You do not want that. Get out. As soon as you can.

I speak from my heart to you.

You can absolutely stop. You want to stop. What you're observing is absolutely correct. If nothing else in your life changes, but you do stop gaming for at least a month, you will start to see glimmers of the life you can actually get to live. It can be as good as any description of heaven you have ever read.

Good job, Matthew, for being here. Watch this video by Cam if you haven't yet. It's one of his best: