11 hours ago, Pulse said:

Great progress Allan, and great question in my journal, so I'd like to ask you the same question: How do you feel after 30 days of no gaming?

Day 31/90: No Gaming

I feel more productive and yes, more present. More in control.

I used to just lose myself in gaming, wondering where all the time went.

Now, I lose myself but in more creative rather than consumptive ways. I lose myself in my art, language studies and composing.

Life is looking a lot more optimistic. I found my first violin student. I feel overall a lot more content.

It's not perfect though. I read manga, watch movies with my parents, doomscroll and sometimes shop a lot online.

I love that I can play music and go on long walks without feeling anxious about having to hit that 7-8pm window of FOMO everyday.

I'm also eating a lot healthier. After I quit games, I also quit the dopamine version of eating. I lost 1 kg of weight. I hired a personal trainer and started seeing a psychologist again.

I have treatment resistant schizophrenia so my doctors sometimes say it's a miracle that I can even function at all.

12 hours ago, allanjchiang said:

Day 31/90: No Gaming

I feel more productive and yes, more present. More in control.

I used to just lose myself in gaming, wondering where all the time went.

Now, I lose myself but in more creative rather than consumptive ways. I lose myself in my art, language studies and composing.

Life is looking a lot more optimistic. I found my first violin student. I feel overall a lot more content.

It's not perfect though. I read manga, watch movies with my parents, doomscroll and sometimes shop a lot online.

I love that I can play music and go on long walks without feeling anxious about having to hit that 7-8pm window of FOMO everyday.

I'm also eating a lot healthier. After I quit games, I also quit the dopamine version of eating. I lost 1 kg of weight. I hired a personal trainer and started seeing a psychologist again.

I have treatment resistant schizophrenia so my doctors sometimes say it's a miracle that I can even function at all.

That's awesome, Allan.

Yeah I do need to try and get my diet and exercise back on track as like I say I have actually put weight on, but I have moved house as well so that has still got my schedule kind of out of whack.

Schizophrenia sounds tough, but that means you have even MORE stacked on top of you than other people do and you're managing to overcome your addiction, which you gotta give yourself big props for. Most people don't have schizophrenia nor other tough trials, and yet they really struggle even getting to a couple of days without gaming, 31 days is BIG progress. Treat yourself to something (just not games, haha), you've earnt it.

7 hours ago, Pulse said:

That's awesome, Allan.

Yeah I do need to try and get my diet and exercise back on track as like I say I have actually put weight on, but I have moved house as well so that has still got my schedule kind of out of whack.

Schizophrenia sounds tough, but that means you have even MORE stacked on top of you than other people do and you're managing to overcome your addiction, which you gotta give yourself big props for. Most people don't have schizophrenia nor other tough trials, and yet they really struggle even getting to a couple of days without gaming, 31 days is BIG progress. Treat yourself to something (just not games, haha), you've earnt it.

Thank you. This means a lot to me.

Day 32/90: No gaming

Day 33/90: No Gaming

On 12/18/2025 at 11:45 AM, allanjchiang said:

It's not perfect though. I read manga, watch movies with my parents, doomscroll and sometimes shop a lot online.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

On 12/18/2025 at 11:45 AM, allanjchiang said:

Day 31/90: No Gaming

You're on a wave dude. Way to go, every single one of those days is your Medal,
now let's see how many more you can deliver.

21 hours ago, Yan said:

Rome wasn't built in a day.

You're on a wave dude. Way to go, every single one of those days is your Medal,
now let's see how many more you can deliver.

Thank you.

Day: 34/90: No Gaming

Day 35/90: No Gaming

I hired a personal trainer and he kept talking about games with me. I wasn't able to assert my feelings in person. However, I just texted him saying,

"When you talk about games, it makes me feel resentful. I don't want you to talk about games with me please."

Hopefully, we'll come to some sort of agreement. Else, I might just hire a different one.

20 hours ago, allanjchiang said:

Day 35/90: No Gaming

I hired a personal trainer and he kept talking about games with me. I wasn't able to assert my feelings in person. However, I just texted him saying,

"When you talk about games, it makes me feel resentful. I don't want you to talk about games with me please."

Hopefully, we'll come to some sort of agreement. Else, I might just hire a different one.

It's quite possible for people who are perhaps action-oriented to have gotten through life thus far with both exercise and gaming knowledge. Sometimes, I felt like I was among them. However, I would also expect to find that once a unique or improving-in-multiple-ways client turns up, such knowledgeable exercisers might find it hard to really tailor a session in every sense of the word. I know that I probably missed a lot of opportunities to work properly with others and give accurate advice because as I did so, I was thinking of 'victory' at games constantly.

If it seems too harsh to ask a trainer for professional-only advice, in one way or another, yeah - you could probably find someone a little more focused. One excellent trainer I met does so well that he sometimes looks surprised or rudely awakened that someone might engage in banter or modestly bring up a behaviour like gaming. But then, maybe I try to watch too closely sometimes.

What you said to them reminded me of the D.E.A.R.M.A.N approach a person showed me. It's not often that full processes like that actually take place for me, but knowing about them is worthwhile - simply finding 7 related things to agree upon still feels like progress.

Good work on keeping balance in hobbies AFK, dude. 👍

Edited December 23, 2025Dec 23 by wheatbiscuit
edit

3 hours ago, wheatbiscuit said:

It's quite possible for people who are perhaps action-oriented to have gotten through life thus far with both exercise and gaming knowledge. Sometimes, I felt like I was among them. However, I would also expect to find that once a unique or improving-in-multiple-ways client turns up, such knowledgeable exercisers might find it hard to really tailor a session in every sense of the word. I know that I probably missed a lot of opportunities to work properly with others and give accurate advice because as I did so, I was thinking of 'victory' at games constantly.

If it seems too harsh to ask a trainer for professional-only advice, in one way or another, yeah - you could probably find someone a little more focused. One excellent trainer I met does so well that he sometimes looks surprised or rudely awakened that someone might engage in banter or modestly bring up a behaviour like gaming. But then, maybe I try to watch too closely sometimes.

What you said to them reminded me of the D.E.A.R.M.A.N approach a person showed me. It's not often that full processes like that actually take place for me, but knowing about them is worthwhile - simply finding 7 related things to agree upon still feels like progress.

Good work on keeping balance in hobbies AFK, dude. 👍

Day 36/90: No Gaming

Thank you for sharing your perspective. He apologized but I decided not to continue because my physiotherapist said I was recovered already.

Today wasn't a productive day but I might just be disqualifying the positive. I slept in and slept in the afternoon for 3.5 hours. I haven't really done anything and I felt down. However, I didn't play games today no matter how much I felt this way. If I focus on the positives, I had a healthy lunch, dinner and I was able to communicate my feelings assertively to my mum. I told her,
"When you lecture me about eating breakfast, I feel ashamed. I want you to not use shameful words when 'motivating' me to eat breakfast."

I went to the physiotherapist today. That's all I can think of that was positive about today. To another day!

Day 37/90: No Gaming

I feel very validated from hearing from my psychologist that he liked my sad music. He said some people like listening to sad songs because they validate them. I was thinking my songs were too sad but it's nice to hear some kind words for a change.

3 hours ago, allanjchiang said:

Day 37/90: No Gaming

I feel very validated from hearing from my psychologist that he liked my sad music. He said some people like listening to sad songs because they validate them. I was thinking my songs were too sad but it's nice to hear some kind words for a change.

I didn't know how much I'd eventually enjoy one band from the U.S. after first hearing their only single that made it onto the radio here 20 years ago, but I don't remember meeting anyone else who happened to like them; I had to bring them up first. That's awesome. One person I knew summed up a darker song of theirs succinctly and while surprised, and I interpreted that he was someone who mainly saw happier music as a means to enhance already-good moments. For me though, it was like learning about so many (not only the singer(s)) people's lives who had opened up about feeling sad. I don't always bring that band up immediately though.

That said, I recommend Jon Foreman's latest 'In Bloom' album. Optimistic heartache.

22 hours ago, allanjchiang said:

Day 37/90: No Gaming

I feel very validated from hearing from my psychologist that he liked my sad music. He said some people like listening to sad songs because they validate them. I was thinking my songs were too sad but it's nice to hear some kind words for a change.

Fantastic work on 37 days, Allan, keep it up, friend!

22 hours ago, wheatbiscuit said:

I didn't know how much I'd eventually enjoy one band from the U.S. after first hearing their only single that made it onto the radio here 20 years ago, but I don't remember meeting anyone else who happened to like them; I had to bring them up first. That's awesome. One person I knew summed up a darker song of theirs succinctly and while surprised, and I interpreted that he was someone who mainly saw happier music as a means to enhance already-good moments. For me though, it was like learning about so many (not only the singer(s)) people's lives who had opened up about feeling sad. I don't always bring that band up immediately though.

That said, I recommend Jon Foreman's latest 'In Bloom' album. Optimistic heartache.

Thank you for sharing the music recommendation.

4 hours ago, Pulse said:

Fantastic work on 37 days, Allan, keep it up, friend!

Thank you.

Day 38/90: No Gaming

I used to see exercise as a chore but after quitting games, I actually use exercise as a pomodoro break. I want to have the same mindset for meditation too. I haven't meditated over 1 minute for many days now.

Day 39/90: No Gaming

I remember the reason why I quit gaming was to spend more time practicing violin. Now that I've quit the violin, I'm not sure what to do with my time. I always thought of retiring early so I could play more games. Maybe I could join a pilates class. I'm terrified of women though and pilates class is basically all women. Exposure therapy right?

21 hours ago, allanjchiang said:

Hopefully, we'll come to some sort of agreement. Else, I might just hire a different one.

Seems legit generally. You don't need anyone who is stuck in the gaming mindset in your close circle at this point. At least not if he's speaking about it.
However, I think that if you switch your mindset to understanding that every day he plays he stays farther from fulfilling his potential, and every day you don't - you get closer to it. It'll be easier on you.

When he is talking you might be feeling a bit jealous or having the cravings come to you and that is very natural.
But remember that you're taking the way that *No scientific data assumption* most people will not take, because it is scary, and hard.

Which is why *No scientific data assumption* most people are average, and don't achieve a higher self actualization - but rather spend their time eating, going to the toilet and just working for someone else's goals. Because they spend all of their "free from work" time enslaved in a virtual world that someone else created, instead of working on their own long term goals, development or acquiring new skills.

So next time he or anyone else talks about gaming, understand that they're just trapped.
Maybe at a certain point they'll get over it, maybe not.

You can't force someone to take the red or blue pill (Matrix reference, let me know if you need further explanation)

But you certainly don't need to feel jealous of their choice.

Just remember why you did yours, and let them do theirs.

That said, again, it doesn't mean you need to spend time with them if they keep talking about games.

You know what they say - "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with" I believe there is quite some truth to that.

It might take some time though to surround yourself with such people. Also don't panic if you're not currently surrounded by them. That doesn't mean you have to be like the people you're currently surrounded with.

But if you see they're currently taking the blue pill, I'd indeed try to distance myself.

For example I used to spend hours upon hours speaking with my mother trying to convey to her that taking responsibility of her own actions and the results in her life can help her wellbeing, but she is just over and over and over and over again in the victim mindset, and in the blaming other people for the situation mindset.

At the end of the day, it is a time waste for both of us to be speaking about the subject, which I guess is in large part why I have distanced myself from her quite a bit. (Not the only factor of course, but in part)

Of course you don't eliminate your contact to your parents. They are who they are, and I'm grateful to have loving and living parents. In fact, very grateful.

Just throwing some thoughts on paper here, unorganized. Maybe it helps.

Let me know if some of it seems to make sense :)

Cheers on day 39 man!!!

On 12/26/2025 at 3:46 PM, Yan said:

Seems legit generally. You don't need anyone who is stuck in the gaming mindset in your close circle at this point. At least not if he's speaking about it.
However, I think that if you switch your mindset to understanding that every day he plays he stays farther from fulfilling his potential, and every day you don't - you get closer to it. It'll be easier on you.

When he is talking you might be feeling a bit jealous or having the cravings come to you and that is very natural.
But remember that you're taking the way that *No scientific data assumption* most people will not take, because it is scary, and hard.

Which is why *No scientific data assumption* most people are average, and don't achieve a higher self actualization - but rather spend their time eating, going to the toilet and just working for someone else's goals. Because they spend all of their "free from work" time enslaved in a virtual world that someone else created, instead of working on their own long term goals, development or acquiring new skills.

So next time he or anyone else talks about gaming, understand that they're just trapped.
Maybe at a certain point they'll get over it, maybe not.

You can't force someone to take the red or blue pill (Matrix reference, let me know if you need further explanation)

But you certainly don't need to feel jealous of their choice.

Just remember why you did yours, and let them do theirs.

That said, again, it doesn't mean you need to spend time with them if they keep talking about games.

You know what they say - "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with" I believe there is quite some truth to that.

It might take some time though to surround yourself with such people. Also don't panic if you're not currently surrounded by them. That doesn't mean you have to be like the people you're currently surrounded with.

But if you see they're currently taking the blue pill, I'd indeed try to distance myself.

For example I used to spend hours upon hours speaking with my mother trying to convey to her that taking responsibility of her own actions and the results in her life can help her wellbeing, but she is just over and over and over and over again in the victim mindset, and in the blaming other people for the situation mindset.

At the end of the day, it is a time waste for both of us to be speaking about the subject, which I guess is in large part why I have distanced myself from her quite a bit. (Not the only factor of course, but in part)

Of course you don't eliminate your contact to your parents. They are who they are, and I'm grateful to have loving and living parents. In fact, very grateful.

Just throwing some thoughts on paper here, unorganized. Maybe it helps.

Let me know if some of it seems to make sense :)

Cheers on day 39 man!!!

Thank you for sharing your perspective. This helps a lot. You're right. You are the five people you hang out with the most. I remember when I was living alone with my flatmates, they all smoked and I started smoking too. Thankfully, I caught myself and immediately moved out of the flat the next day. It was a bit tough negotiating the rental contract but I haven't smoked ever since.

Day 40/90: No Gaming

Day 41/90: No Gaming
Day 2/90: PornFree

Gained 1kg after starting to eat supermarket highly processed fried potato chips again. I don't even enjoy eating them but it's an addiction. Hopefully I won't keep gaining weight though!

Day 42/90: No Gaming

Day 3/90: PornFree

Installed MyFitnessPal today and it was quite easy to use with the photo logging and barcode logging feature. Apparently, I had 90 something grams of protein today. Not sure how since I usually only got like 40g of protein when I calculated it myself.

See you at the top!

I will be taking a break from journaling here for a bit.

Hope to see you again soon!

Hey @allanjchiang hope you're doing well. No problem taking a break from journaling, it will be great to hear from you when you return!