July 15Jul 15 Author Thank you @Ikar and @Yan for your words. I did realize my struggle to gain good habits and be less on my phone was not because of my toxic living situation. It was because of myself, essentially using it as an excuse to not do anything. I was so afraid of being judged or ridiculed for messing up or experimenting, that I just didn't. The reality is as toxic as some of my relationships are at the moment, their judgement wasn't stopping me from doing things i enjoy or trying new hobbies. And if they do judge, that shouldn't stop me from enjoying it, and it says more about them than me. I don't know what it was, but I was so afraid of what I enjoy being discovered for some reason, that I just didn't do hobbies. I think social media still has a bit of impact on me because showing too much passion for something, or enjoying anything is seen as "weird" or "cringe". I am passed this feeling of hesitation though, and I'm already starting to see progress in terms of my sleep getting better, and increased reading.
August 10Aug 10 Author Slowly starting to enjoy active activities again. I now am starting to dislike being sedentary. The only form of sedentary behavior I'll do is during sleep hours, or reading. Any other time, I want to be doing shit.
August 28Aug 28 Author After several weeks of being off social media, I've learned to appreciate hard work. Dopamine from working hard and being consistent in different activities is much more rewarding and is coming to me much easier than sitting and scrolling. I can't believe I ever thought that I'd want to use social media forever at one point.
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