Introducing myself and my gaming journey

[Dean04]

Hi everyone, I'm Dean or as my Playstation username refers to me as - (AUSTRALIANDJ) XD

Basically, I still love gaming but I am finding it harmful and a hinderance to my life. I've video gamed since I was 4 or 5, and I'm 36 now. I grew up playing the Super Nintendo and Nintendo 64, where I'd thoroughly enjoy completing all sorts of games to "beat them" or unlock the 100%, secret ending, extra characters you name it. I was an only child so my parents invested in gaming consoles, to make sure I wasn't too bored. What I basically found happening, was even though I was a great student at school, and played sport on the weekends, that the gaming was the activity that excited me the most. I'd constantly be in our rumpus room, gaming away and my parents would a have a rule which was if I had an hour on I'd have to have an hour off before I could play more. That hour off was pretty much me time watching until I could play once again. 

Fast forward to high school/adolescent years, and I was still living at home as a 19/20 year old, gaming away. I'd got an xbox 360 for free with a phone deal and had enjoyed completing achievements on my xbox profile for years. Having a record of all the games you complete and being able to compare yourself to others really livened me up. I had a bit of a purpose. I was single and while I'd still completed my schooling well and gone to uni to do training to become a teacher, gaming still lit my fire. 

My dad bought me a Playstation 4, after I'd bought an xbox one one year and I was really bemused as to why he thought I needed both generation of consoles. My completionist behaviour was pretty bad as it was, and the Playstation system with their platinum trophies just enticed me like nothing before. Having clear cut rules and guides to follow to achieve specific tasks and having the record track it - gave me an identity. I also met numerous gamers on my journey which some are my best friends today. Some still game and some don't. I've completed probably a good 300 or so games to earn platinum trophies and the 8-10 years most recently, I've slaved away to make my profile a 100% profile. I've sat there for days to ensure I have difficult games on my profile, as well as multiple games from different genres and i've enjoyed most of those experiences.

What I find troubling is when I'm sitting there all day on the Playstation and my gamer friends still have time to go to the gym and go to sleep when I can bring myself to stop. Healthy routines aren't even a thing when I game and I feel guilty thinking that this is not how I should be living my life at all. One game Gems Of War, I've probably put about 3000 plus hours into just because its a grindy piece of crap that forces me to play daily to attain the goals I wanted to attain. Perfectionist much? 

The past 6 months or so, I was recovering from a relationship breakup, these happened somewhat frequently and whilst my girlfriends at the time, would encourage me to do what I enjoyed, I wouldn't be prioritising them and ending up losing them from my life as other activities were boring and I'd prefer to stay home. I still work Monday to Friday as a teacher and somewhat have my life together financially, but I'm not happy. My last relationship if i wasn't gaming I guess maybe I wouldn't have been ditched. She didn't want to change me and it was only a short relationship, but it made me look at myself and be really upset with where I was at. I'd spend my 2 weeks off on school holidays gaming essentially. I just feel like I'm worth more than this, but it still lights my fire. I signed up for a men's development program in October that really helped me adjust some of my ways, and one of my fellow brothers told me to get rid of the games in January. I packed them up in the cupboard and touched them twice in approximately a 3 month period - so I've kind of already done a detox so to speak. 

On that however, I havent been able to fill that void yet, and today I got the console back out of the cupboard with some really stressful events in my life and I craved some mindfulness farming on Stardew Valley. Noticing these cravings and tuning into them is great, but I'm trying to see what I can learn from game quitters and hopefully be able to mitigate these feelings or stresses I want to avoid while also finding a more meaningful purpose in my life.

I appreciate anyone who reads this and I'd love to hear from those with similar experiences.

Thanks

Dean

[Kam]

Hey Dean! Welcome to the forum, glad to have you here.

It sounds like achievement / showing progress is important to you. It's one of the "needs" that gaming fills and is called out in Respawn, the guide attached to Game Quitters.

The 90 day detox will force you to find hobbies to replace the needs that gaming filled. It's not just a mentally engaging activity that shows progress - there's also low-energy resting and social aspects of it too. Gaming fills a lot of needs, and you'll need a few hobbies to fill the void

It's worth committing to a firm detox. I'm just shy of 90 days in and I'm now reading more books, more engaged and present in my relationship and with my kids, able to focus way better, and sleeping way better. 90 days is enough that you'll hit stressful moments in your life and be forced to deal with it without resorting to gaming as a crutch. After that, you can choose if you abstain longer or how to gradually reintroduce it into your life in a healthy way instead of as an escape.

Best of luck, hope to see more journal entries from you,

Kam

[Goku]

Hey Dean, Kama suggestion sounds good to me. I did a 90 day detox too. It was…..enlightening lol

I’d recommend spending time looking at hobbies lists on google and remembering any hobbies to try out. If you lack motivation like me well remember that this is the alternative to gaming. 
 

im trying to get into music and remind myself this is probably gonna be a lot healthier for me than….hours of games daily. Yeahhhhh

 

I did maybe 2-3 years completely clean off games and just poured myself into my career, self care and dating.

 

im fit have a waifu and a very good job now. Im still kinda bored tho I feel you with getting out stardew valley and all that. So, I mean it’s not black and white. If you practice harm reduction down to a shade of grey then that’s still progress. The goal isn’t always clear. But trying new things gets you new data to work with! 
 

What’s important to you in your life that is being impeded by gaming if anything?

 

What is it you want to do in your life that will be more doable with less or no gaming? 
 

Why do u wanna restrict gaming? 
 

 

Super appreciate if u answer at least one question S2