Reno's Log

[reno_v]

Hey everyone. I am 43 and a while back I quit porn successfully and I enjoyed the process of journaling in a porn quitting forum a lot. I managed to accomplish that. I don't do much social networking or scrolling, so I had no distractions to fall back into. Unfortunately, I realized that I just replaced porn with gaming somewhat. It's not as bad as it could be, but I already see it messing up with my work. I started to miss deadlines for just one more free-for-all Black Ops 6 game or just one more Rebirth Island run. Today, I made the decision that there's nothing good in gaming for me. Some days it will prove to be a nice distraction for a few minutes, but then invariably, other days it will get out of hand. So, I deleted Battle.net and Steam from my PC, which is what I use for work as well. It's just too tempting having them in the same machine that I use to put food on my family's table. I'm committing to at least 90 days of no games or gaming youtube videos (which I hope will become permanent after that). I also want to engage more fully with my work to take it to the next level and be more present over all, like we used to be in the 90s and early 2000s.

To cope, I found out during my porn quitting that having a "power routine" helps with withdrawal negotiations. So I am also committing to a daily routine of:

1. Exercise.
2. Good nutrition.
3. Hydration.
4. Box breathing.
5. Cold showers.
6. What I call "to draw First Blood" (which is a ritual in which I turn off distractions and read or "do" my work for 15 minutes and then do 1 pomodoro of work, which gets me to engage with my work for at least half an hour; that usually tricks me into being productive the rest of the morning).
7.   Rise of the Phoenix (which is the same as First Blood but in the afternoon; it involves meditation with an app for 15 minutes to wake up after lunch and get at least another 30 mins of work done).
8. Do 15 minutes of piano.
9. Write this journal and have a gratitude moment.

That's the goal. Let's see how I do. Let's trust that the method works. I started this in the evening and before uninstalling Call of Duty, I played one last time. So, today is Day 0.

Edited February 17 by reno_v

[Yan]

Welcome! Here's some wisdom from the "Sober time" app I used to count days without ________.
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

-If you're serious about this I'd also suggest you completely delete your Steam account as suggested in the Respawn book by Cam Adair, and as I did in my september 29 2022 post, and possibly Battle.net if you have the option.

-I think there's no need to hope it will become permanent. Just go ahead with the 90 days. It's hard as it is. Even if you just accomplish that and then return it will have been 90 days more than 0.

-If you're not already making these 9 habits you wrote here, I would not commit myself to any of them, perhaps one at best.
It is a trap that many people fall into with new year's resolutions. 
It's like saying that by next month you will run a marathon when you never ran before.
Setting any habit requires willpower, quite a lot of it.
So just stick to your main 90-day commitment and if you really want you may do any of the other 9 if you feel like it, after these 90 you may commit to 21 on any of the other activities[that's just my opinion though].

-By the way you may use the Sober Time app I mentioned earlier to have it count the days you've been clean from gaming and gaming videos

Let's see how it goes for you. Remember you may fall at 5 days at 2 days or at 1 day. But what counts is how fast you'll stand back up again.

"Rocky Balboa: What is it you said to the kid? It ain't about how hard you're hit, it's about how you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward."

Edited February 17 by Yan
Linked Sober time app too

[reno_v]

Day 1

It was a good day. Of course, motivation is the greatest on day one, but today was very productive work-wise. I hit most of my goals, except for 15 mins of piano. But I might just get it out of the way after this.

I uninstalled YouTube from my TV and I was a bit anxious to not eat watching YouTube videos, even if not about gaming. But on the other hand, I catched up on a series I had left there to rot like a year ago: The Americans. Hopefully, I'll also get some of my attention span after this.

Edit: I am grateful for my wife, my job, and the fact that this forum exists.

See you tomorrow.

Edited February 18 by reno_v
Add gratitude.

[Yan]

Here's a reply I wrote 23  hours ago and which is awaiting moderation because of inserted links. 
I thought I'd post it meanwhile without the links until the moderator approves it:

Welcome! Here's some wisdom from the "Sober time" app I used to count days without ________.
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

-If you're serious about this I'd also suggest you completely delete your Steam account as suggested in the Respawn book by Cam Adair, and as I did in my september 29 2022 post, and possibly Battle.net if you have the option.

-I think there's no need to hope it will become permanent. Just go ahead with the 90 days. It's hard as it is. Even if you just accomplish that and then return it will have been 90 days more than 0.

-If you're not already making these 9 habits you wrote here, I would not commit myself to any of them, perhaps one at best.
It is a trap that many people fall into with new year's resolutions. 
It's like saying that by next month you will run a marathon when you never ran before.
Setting any habit requires willpower, quite a lot of it.
So just stick to your main 90-day commitment and if you really want you may do any of the other 9 if you feel like it, after these 90 you may commit to 21 on any of the other activities[that's just my opinion though].

-By the way you may use the Sober Time app I mentioned earlier to have it count the days you've been clean from gaming and gaming videos

Let's see how it goes for you. Remember you may fall at 5 days at 2 days or at 1 day. But what counts is how fast you'll stand back up again.

"Rocky Balboa: What is it you said to the kid? It ain't about how hard you're hit, it's about how you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward."

[reno_v]

Day 2

Today was a good day as well. Most of my goals met, except piano again. I didn't miss CoD at all. No game cravings.

It's funny that I let my wife know about this and she was like "oh, why, you like it so much". She wasn't aware that there was a problem with it. That's good, at least it never drew me away from her. This is because whenever she was around, I would immediately stop to be with her. But I work from home and she goes out to work. So the problem is that while I was by myself I would waste so much time.  

In unrelated news, I installed Fedora on my desktop. This is a big step. I noticed the only thing keeping me on Windows was, well, the games actually. Now I felt free to switch.

I am grateful for my job, my wife and Cam Adair putting together this website. 

@Yan Thank you for taking the time to write and your recommendations. I appreciate you sharing your own experiences and insights. 

 

[Kam]

Welcome, congrats on starting the detox! I'm about midway through my 90 day detox, with a similar routine.

My only recommendation on your current approach is to have an activity that you can shut your brain off and relax with. Since you're dropping gaming and Youtube, you'll need something to fall back on if you're going through a tough patch and simply don't feel like engaging in something like piano (intellectually stimulating) or exercise (physically demanding). For me, it's reading fiction. But folks have different relaxing hobbies to turn to.

Best of luck, excited to see updates from you. It's nice having someone else in 30's/40's in a similar situation and mindset as myself.

[reno_v]

Day 3

I was so busy today that I didn’t have time to miss gaming. I am happy that I hit most of my goals and I’m starting to see that there is a pattern with me missing my 15 mins of piano. Might as well drop it from the power routine.

I’m grateful for making progress and all the love in my life.

 

@Kam heeeey, thank you for the warm welcome. Good idea with the relaxing hobbies. That was sort of the idea with piano, but you are right that piano needs you to engage with it instead of serving as something to disconnect from real life. So far, I’ve kinda enjoyed watching The Americans and tolerating one hour episodes, ehich my attention span hadn’t been able to handle. I have not forsaken YouTube, just gaming videos, and having it on my TV, but I still watch Colbert on my phone for breakfast.
 

I checked out your thread and I can relate to missing Friday night. During the Pandemic it was so cathartic to talk to friends while dropping on Verdask. Lately, though, it was just me, some randos, and a bunch of cheaters, so we’re better off, I guess.

[reno_v]

So, it's been a month, where access to this site was very choppy and I forgot about loging in. Anyhow, I still haven't gamed, so month one done.

Cheers!

[Yan]

On 3/17/2025 at 11:54 PM, reno_v said:

So, it's been a month, where access to this site was very choppy and I forgot about loging in. Anyhow, I still haven't gamed, so month one done.

Cheers!

Indeed the site was down from 20 to 26th February approximately. Keep it up! See your next entry tomorrow? 🙂

[reno_v]

Day 34

I think I have been experiencing quite a bit of withdrawal. For me, it manifests in a near inability to engage with my work; my mind just drifts away, so I've been wasting a lot of time. What I do for a living has the advantage that it is very flexible. I've been dealing with it by pushing my deadlines and just going out for coffee and to the mall to shop for sneakers and just look at people. I haven't gamed, and haven't really felt an urge to do so, but I cannot push my deadlines indefinitely, because I get paid upon completion of my deliverables so it's a two-edged sword when money stops coming in. Luckily, my three clients are focused on something else at the time and have even welcomed not having to deal with me, but at some point, I'll have to fully engage again. 

I haven't really gotten gaming cravings. It's more not having anything to do instead that bothers me. Piano (and now accordion) is fine, but I can't really sit at it for more than a while. I don't really scroll either, so there's a lot of "contemplation" time and that is kinda driving me crazy.

PS. Thank you @Yan for your continued support, I appreciate it. 

[Yan]

6 hours ago, reno_v said:

Day 34

I think I have been experiencing quite a bit of withdrawal. For me, it manifests in a near inability to engage with my work; my mind just drifts away, so I've been wasting a lot of time. What I do for a living has the advantage that it is very flexible. I've been dealing with it by pushing my deadlines and just going out for coffee and to the mall to shop for sneakers and just look at people. I haven't gamed, and haven't really felt an urge to do so, but I cannot push my deadlines indefinitely, because I get paid upon completion of my deliverables so it's a two-edged sword when money stops coming in. Luckily, my three clients are focused on something else at the time and have even welcomed not having to deal with me, but at some point, I'll have to fully engage again. 

I haven't really gotten gaming cravings. It's more not having anything to do instead that bothers me. Piano (and now accordion) is fine, but I can't really sit at it for more than a while. I don't really scroll either, so there's a lot of "contemplation" time and that is kinda driving me crazy.

PS. Thank you @Yan for your continued support, I appreciate it. 

Welcome to the real world 🙂 That's what happens when you get freed up from lifesucking videogames.
I suggest you read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Mainly because I think the habit "Begin with the end in mind" may be of help to you.
Because it may help you re-focus and bring the purpose you just lost which you used to tie (somewhat) with videogames I guess.

Let me know if this helps. Keep it up 🙂