How did you quit your mmorpg?

[Torch]

Hey all,

I uninstalled the mmo from my computer.  I didn't even say goodbye to my guild either.  I just uninstalled.

I feel weird.  Maybe I just feel like it's really the end.  I think I needed to sever the ties with people online.  That's what was keeping me in the game.  

I need to process.  

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But overall, I just feel like I don't have to deal with it anymore.  It was becoming a burden to login and do those game tasks repetitively.  Unending useless tasks online.  I feel free from that burden and free from other people's expectations in a game.  I wanted to rage quit the guild so that I wouldn't ever go back.  But I didn't.  I just left my characters there on SWTOR to rot.  I didn't invest that much time into them, so I don't feel like I've really lost much.  And I didn't really know the kin members that well either, no real 'friendships' resulted from my game time.  I was a quiet person, and didn't say much in the chat room or on their voice channels.  

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I just feel weird.  How did you feel when you quit all games?  I appreciate the feedback, especially about how long this odd feeling will last?  

 

 

[D_Cozy]

Hey Torch, if you still feel this way, it's a feeling that will pass.

I can't speak to quitting all games myself - I cut out the most problematic ones only, and that is what is working for me - but I know the feeling from having played a lot of Empires & Puzzles and quitting that game. This is a mobile game with alliances, a daily set of quests to do, players work together to take down a daily big boss, get and share loot, there's private guild chats and public global ones, and there's alliance wars too, etcetera... All of these social elements were very addictive to me; it felt like I was part of a big mission, it enticed me to grind and "keep up" so I could contribute to my alliance. I even became a senior member of my alliance, helping out players with game things and resolving conflicts when they arose; and eventually, the games company asked me to become a moderator for their online forum (which I was quite active at too).

On 11/3/2024 at 4:05 PM, Torch said:

But overall, I just feel like I don't have to deal with it anymore.  It was becoming a burden to login and do those game tasks repetitively.  Unending useless tasks online.  I feel free from that burden and free from other people's expectations in a game.

So I really get this feeling. In particular, I understand how you feel in regards of expectations. I was quite well known in the games community. I had quite the reputation for putting together a big data spreadsheet and condensing it into a quick reference for all players. And ofc I was a moderator for the community so that gave me a bit of a spotlight.

We may not be able to hold or touch things like fame and reputation, but they are very much still possessions; intangible possessions are just as temporary, and just as easily lost, as physical possessions. I say this because this feeling you have right now, it's also partly coming from you, your own sense and attachment to your game identity. You are severing that from yourself now, and yeah it's gonna feel weird for sure. It's almost like an identity crisis of sorts, almost like saying goodbye to a job you had for years.

This weird feeling will pass though. I went through it with E&P, and now I'm going through it again, a similar "identity" loss from quitting social media and compulsively researching (fandom/wiki editing, in particular). But being able to be aware of this is helpful, because it then lets me figure out how to redirect that energy towards other more fulfilling tasks. For me, what has worked best is to focus on self-improvement and rediscovering my identity. I've been reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, as well as engaging in my daily journaling.

Cheers!

[Torch]

8 hours ago, D_Cozy said:

Hey Torch, if you still feel this way, it's a feeling that will pass.

I can't speak to quitting all games myself - I cut out the most problematic ones only, and that is what is working for me - but I know the feeling from having played a lot of Empires & Puzzles and quitting that game. This is a mobile game with alliances, a daily set of quests to do, players work together to take down a daily big boss, get and share loot, there's private guild chats and public global ones, and there's alliance wars too, etcetera... All of these social elements were very addictive to me; it felt like I was part of a big mission, it enticed me to grind and "keep up" so I could contribute to my alliance. I even became a senior member of my alliance, helping out players with game things and resolving conflicts when they arose; and eventually, the games company asked me to become a moderator for their online forum (which I was quite active at too).

So I really get this feeling. In particular, I understand how you feel in regards of expectations. I was quite well known in the games community. I had quite the reputation for putting together a big data spreadsheet and condensing it into a quick reference for all players. And ofc I was a moderator for the community so that gave me a bit of a spotlight.

We may not be able to hold or touch things like fame and reputation, but they are very much still possessions; intangible possessions are just as temporary, and just as easily lost, as physical possessions. I say this because this feeling you have right now, it's also partly coming from you, your own sense and attachment to your game identity. You are severing that from yourself now, and yeah it's gonna feel weird for sure. It's almost like an identity crisis of sorts, almost like saying goodbye to a job you had for years.

This weird feeling will pass though. I went through it with E&P, and now I'm going through it again, a similar "identity" loss from quitting social media and compulsively researching (fandom/wiki editing, in particular). But being able to be aware of this is helpful, because it then lets me figure out how to redirect that energy towards other more fulfilling tasks. For me, what has worked best is to focus on self-improvement and rediscovering my identity. I've been reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, as well as engaging in my daily journaling.

Cheers!

Thank you @D_Cozy !

This was so nice to read, because you relate to what I am going through, as I'm sure many Gamer Quitter members also experience.  It's nice to have somebody validate it.  I highlighted various points you made in reference to 'being part of a community, losing a sense of identity, and the grind of it all'.  

The weird feeling is still there.  It's restlessness.  Maybe because I have all this time to spare.  I'm so accustomed to doing-doing-doing and not enjoying the process.  So my hobbies become noticeably slow-mode.  I'm adjusting to the switch in pace.  The thing is, before I was a gamer, the slow-mode was natural to me.  I didn't view it as slow at all, but knew that some projects will not be completed in one day.  And I shouldn't be breaking a sweat or losing sleep to complete it!  That's the strange thing about returning to a life without video games.  Enjoying the journey is what I am re-learning.  I think my dopamine receptors are going to take a long break from hereon, and need a reset.

The weird feeling is also tied to the loss of an online community and self-identity.  I can only imagine what it was like for you to give up that leadership identity that you developed in the games!  I was nowhere near that level of skill or capacity.  But yes, I do feel a sense of identity-crisis?  I feel like I let the team down, and that I am no longer 'useful'.  It is a strange feeling.  I am a giver, naturally.  I was accustomed to helping out members of my guild, whether it was crafting items, completing deeds, or helping out with dungeons here and there.  I gave so much of my time doing that in online gaming.  There is a void.  I'm not sure how to replace it, but I'm considering using my crafting talent to make items for the homeless.  For example, hand-knitted scarves or hats.  I'm a fairly good knitter and like to experiment with patterns.  Plus I have so much leftover yarn.  I think this might help fill that void.  I'm using my creative talent, and donating my product/artwork to somebody who could benefit from it.  

So many thoughts going through my head.  I can't process them all right now.  I think I'm in a state of flux, but that's okay.  As you mentioned, it will pass and I think it is a normal feeling after not participating in digital entertainment for a week now.  

I admire your ability to moderate the gaming and for wisely eliminating the games which do not work for you.  One day, after this 30 Day detox is done, I'd like to reintroduce only one game into my life.  It would be a multiplayer cozy game, not a true MMORPG.  And I would play this with my gamer friend on a casual basis.  We'll see how this goes.  I still have a little more than four weeks left before my thirty day detox is complete.  I will continue to write in my journal on a daily basis.  

[D_Cozy]

Keep up your detox, and focus on discovering other things you like doing; like with that creative talent of yours you've described (love to hear it!). You want to lean into those positive things that bring you true fulfillment.

On my end, I used an exercise called "Discovering your Sobriety Worksheet" from the Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous website to help me with finding what truly matters for me. It helps with identifying your bottom lines (most destructive and compulsive behaviors, abstain), middle lines (triggers, where you can go with caution but should not prioritize), and top lines (what you lean on, that which brings you true fulfillment and what you aspire to be).

You can find the link to the worksheet in my profile, on the "About Me" section. What I personally discovered is that the "state" of moderating games isn't really a goal; the goal instead is maintaining sobriety, by working on self-improvement and focusing on what matters most. From there, it becomes a lot more clear to see if there really are any behaviors with technology that are positive and in-line with my state of sobriety.

But that said, this is a personal document; it's going to be different for everyone what we each discover in our lines. So I really recommend doing it yourself, as your answers will be different from mine. As long as you are honest with your answers and with yourself, the sobriety worksheet is a really powerful document you can keep with you for life to help guide you.

Edited November 7 by D_Cozy