Ending My YouTube Addiction

September 5Sep 5

On 9/3/2026 at 3:00 AM, FDRx7 said:
The podcast issue is incredibly isolating, because I don't meet many people who believe you can consume them to excess. I have one friend who experienced a similar phenomenon, going so far as to listen to them to help him fall asleep (I was doing the same). Other than him, people will say, "Oh, but they're so informative! I really love listening to them." I understand their sentiment and I don't think they mean to be dismissive. Perhaps they have no conception of just how much I was listening to them. Maybe then they might say it is too much. Plus, I tend to listen less to educational things and more those that would entertain me or make me laugh.

I think the penetration of information about behavioral addictions is quite abysmal among the general public. Plus I agree with you they probably have "normal" levels of consumption on their minds. Anyway, I honestly don't know how people would react if I came to them ten years ago and told them "I play computer games 8 hours a day."

It'd probably scare them off. About five six years ago, I was chatting to a girl, perhaps trying to see if she would be a good date. I tried for about ten minutes to find out whether she can talk about anything else than watching series, but failed. I can say that this did scare me off :D

Either way, I dislike pure-audio podcasts due to the fact that I can't concentrate fully. I need the video too. I prefer listening to music, because there's no information "to be missed". I often drive the car without listening to the radio too. But I'm probably the weird one :)

On 9/3/2026 at 3:00 AM, FDRx7 said:
I've tried to get to the root of it, and while I don't have a definitive answer, my thought is that it is a conglomeration of a few factors: it must fill a social gap in my life when I'm feeling isolated and need to hear someone's voice; it keeps me from confronting negative thoughts and sitting with myself; it fulfills a need to be constantly entertained; it provides background noise in a way that is somehow different from standard white noise.
I don't necessarily have to pick a dominant theme; all should be addressed. I do have friends and I actually socialize a decent amount for living out in the sticks. But maybe I am more lonely than I think? Or maybe I have a higher need to socialize than I am allowing myself? I do value my alone time, so in the end it might be mostly the fear of confronting my thoughts.

Nice introspection. If you feel like silencing a friend, it could be social. I can empathize with "running away from negative thoughts". It just depends on whether the escape is temporary and healthy, or whether we're avoiding doing something important. It's not always easy to distinguish.

On 9/4/2026 at 3:01 AM, FDRx7 said:
Sometimes I wonder about my willpower and the attitude of my heart, why I am willing to do the things I shouldn't if there is no blocker. It makes me wonder if the blocker is only covering for the real issue of my heart's inclinations. But at the same time, isn't it wise to prevent yourself from entering situations where you know you'll be tempted? Do we think less of an alcoholic who chooses not to go to a bar because he knows he'll be tempted? I suppose we don't, so I'm not sure why I am having trouble reconciling that with using blockers.

I think the blockers are mainly important to reinforce the initial decision. As in "I spent an hour setting this system up. I've done something to help myself."

To use my porn example, I actually don't have any porn-blockers on my PC. It's because I've never watched porn on my PC, but on my phone. As for my phone, I use SPIN safe browser (basically a browser with a built-in restricted mode). I also uninstalled YT and can only use it through the browser. I also installed a more advanced all-phone porn blocker. I never got around to activating it though, because the app monitors the screen all the time and I didn't want to just surrender all my privacy and security (passwords).

So yeah, I can probably access my "favorite" porn in about a minute, but it's just that I don't think I need it anymore. As for the severity, I used it a few times a week for maybe half an hour before quitting.

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September 7Sep 7

Author

Days 5-7 - 2026.09.04-2026.09.06

Note: As of 09.07, changing the entry date so that it reflects the day of progress, even if written on a different day.

Streaks

Used Brick: 4 (PB: 2)
- Notes:
Checked Freedom settings: 4 (PB: 2)
- Notes:
No podcasts for at least 90 days: 7
- Notes:
No mindless scrolling: 2 (PB: 1)
- Notes:
No YouTube: 7
- Notes:
Did morning devotionals and reading routine: New
- Notes: Wanted to start tracking this one as well since it is highly connected to the task below it for sleep. I still struggle with getting up early enough for the routine, but I'm thinking the more I get my sleep under control, the easier it will be to do this.
Start preparing for sleep at 10:30pm: 0 (PB: 1)
- Notes: I changed this one to "start preparing for sleep at 10:30pm" because I think that's easier to gauge when to start doing something rather than the "deadline" of 11:30pm.
Used CPAP: 0 (PB: 2)
- Notes: Last two nights I've fallen asleep on the couch, even though I was doing something healthy (reading). That's also why I've changed the task above (see note).
Reviewed Anki Cards: 0 (PB: 1)
- Notes: Still working on incorporating this one but trying to keep the pressure off while I focus on the other habits.

Reflection

I missed a few days of reflection, so I'll just update the numbers as they stand today without trying to do too much recap.

I had some nice time with my family yesterday in celebration of Labor Day. Was glad to have the socialization.

Edited September 7Sep 7 by FDRx7
Changed dates, corrected numbers, and removed streaks for habits that have had unbroken streak since the start.

September 8Sep 8

Author

Day 8 - 2026.09.07

Streaks

Used Brick: 5 (PB: 2)
- Notes:
Checked Freedom settings: 5 (PB: 2)
- Notes:
No podcasts for at least 90 days: 8
- Notes:
No mindless scrolling: 3 (PB: 1)
- Notes:
No YouTube: 8
- Notes:
Did morning devotionals and reading routine: 1
- Notes:
Start preparing for sleep at 10:30pm: 0 (PB: 1)
- Notes:
Used CPAP: 1 (PB: 2)
- Notes: Didn't sleep for very long last night, but was able to use it. Around 11 incidents, so still at the average I've been seeing.
Reviewed Anki Cards: 0 (PB: 1)
- Notes:

Reflection

Had a busy day yesterday removing the battery from the car, helping my wife get a badly needed new phone (we barely upgrade but hers was going on something like 15 years old, and it was showing signs of reaching end of life), and going to our Monday small group.

Overall good day, though I'm still struggling to go to bed at a decent hour. I think this will come in time, but I need to learn to get up instead of prolonging my relaxation - even if it is with something good.

I am also trying to do something I learned from Cal Newport, which is to "normalize plugging in your phone when at home." I had started this to some extent, but I'm doing my best to be conscientious about this and place it in the kitchen / foyer during the workday and just while at home in general. I turn the ringer up so that I can hear phone calls if they come in, kind of like a traditional landline or cordless phone from back in the day.

Edited September 8Sep 8 by FDRx7

September 10Sep 10

Author

Day 9 - 2026.09.08

Streaks

Used Brick: 6 (PB: 2)
- Notes:
Checked Freedom settings: 6 (PB: 2)
- Notes:
No podcasts for at least 90 days: 9
- Notes:
No mindless scrolling: 4 (PB: 1)
- Notes:
No YouTube: 9
- Notes:
Did morning devotionals and reading routine: 2
- Notes:
Start preparing for sleep at 10:30pm: 0 (PB: 1)
- Notes: Fell asleep on the couch while reading again. I think it's my position and the level of light. I don't mean to but once I'm out, I'm out.
Used CPAP: 0 (PB: 2)
- Notes: Didn't use because I fell asleep on the couch again.
Reviewed Anki Cards: 1 (PB: 1)
- Notes:

Reflection

Removing podcasts and YouTube videos is going okay so far. I think the blockers help when I have them working. I've started replacing the podcasts with audio Scripture or music if I feel I really need something. I think that's been much healthier for my brain. I've even noticed there have been a number of occasions where I crave pure silence.

For example, I did 80% of my workout with no music, just the sound of the large garage fan. I'm not sure what it was, because normally I have music on but I wanted to workout with no other stimuli. This has happened a few times now. Maybe it is my brain asking for a break from the noise. Right toward the end I wanted a little music to push me through, but other than that it was a quiet workout.

I am struggling with my energy levels in the evening. Many times I have the opportunity to do some small step of a project, but I just become so tired after exercising and eating dinner. Tonight (09.09) I was able to work on a project and get it done. I just wish I had the motivation and energy to do it more often. I think of all the small windows of time I can use to get things finished bit by bit rather than waiting for the weekend - which sometimes doesn't lend itself well to projects if we have other commitments.

I'm not saying I should neglect rest. I have burned out before by being "on the go" for too long. I just want to reach a good balance.

September 11Sep 11

Author

Days 10 and 11 - 2026.09.09-09.10

Streaks

Used Brick: 8 (PB: 2)
- Notes: Technically, I didn't check / use it or Freedom but this was because I left it running and didn't go turn it off, so I consider this to count.
Checked Freedom settings: 8 (PB: 2)
- Notes: See above.
No podcasts for at least 90 days: 11
- Notes:
No mindless scrolling: 0 (PB: 5)
- Notes: Was doing well but succumbed last night on my PC because I had temporarily disabled Cold Turkey for some reason a week or so back. I've fixed that now so I can't be online after 9pm (except on this website, Todoist, and Anki).
No YouTube: 11
- Notes:
Did morning devotionals and reading routine: 4
- Notes:
Start preparing for sleep at 10:30pm: 0 (PB: 1)
- Notes: Was up a little too late online as per above.
Used CPAP: 1 (PB: 2)
- Notes: Was able to make it to bed and used it for the duration of my sleep. Still had 14.5 incidents though, so I don't now when they are going to come back down.
Reviewed Anki Cards: 0 (PB: 2)
- Notes: Started doing these in between pomodoros at work. Just a few cards here and there.

Reflection

Don't have a ton of time this morning for a full reflection. If I have time later, I may come back to update.

September 18Sep 18

Author

Days 12-17 - 2026.09.11-09.18

Streaks

Used Brick: 2 (PB: 8)
- Notes: Lost the streak but doing better again.
Checked Freedom settings: 2 (PB: 8)
- Notes: Same as above.
No podcasts for at least 90 days: 17
- Notes:
No mindless scrolling: 1 (PB: 5)
- Notes:
No YouTube: 17
- Notes:
Did morning devotionals and reading routine: 0 (PB: 4)
- Notes:
Went to sleep in bed: 0 (PB: 1)
- Notes: Changing this to being in my own bed for sleep. More than the time right now, I think this is the most important piece. I can start working on the specific time once I'm no longer sleeping anywhere but my bed.
Used CPAP: 0 (PB: 2)
- Notes:
Reviewed Anki Cards: 1 (PB: 2)
- Notes:

Reflection

I got behind on my entries, so rather than try to catch up I'm just continuing where I left off. Not being on YouTube and Podcasts has been surprisingly fine but I still need to be careful of filling that with scrolling online. The last week has reinforced how important it is for me to have blockers on. I have one on Cold Turkey now that blocks everything at 9pm except for a few productive sites and I can't undo that block without my wife putting in a password. I think that has helped significantly. I have the same thing on my phone for screen time.

It can be frustrating at times when I want to do something, but that is far outweighed by being relieved of the feelings that come with bad habits. While I am up and down right now, I'm confident that the line will begin to smooth out in an upward trajectory. Anywhere up is better than where I was / am.

September 28Sep 28

Author

Days 18-27 - 2026.09.19-09.28

Streaks

Used Brick: 5 (PB: 8)
- Notes: My best estimate for this and Freedom as I have been good about not scrolling aimlessly but also forgetting to actually turn brick on and off (which means it is often on - so, mission accomplished?)
Checked Freedom settings: 5 (PB: 8)
- Notes: Same as above.
No podcasts for at least 90 days: 27
- Notes:
No mindless scrolling: 3 (PB: 5)
- Notes:
No YouTube: 27
- Notes:
Did morning devotionals and reading routine: 5 (PB: 4)
- Notes:
Went to sleep in bed: 0 (PB: 2)
- Notes:
Used CPAP: 0 (PB: 2)
- Notes:
Reviewed Anki Cards: 0 (PB: 2)
- Notes:

Reflection

I really need to be better about trying to write daily, but I guess just a lot has been going on. I can't believe I'm almost at 30 days already. I do think my head is clearer to some extent, and I know I'm much less fixated on the things happening in the world that I largely can't control (i.e., politics, etc.). Using audio Scripture has done wonders to refocus my mind. I do miss the conversational nature of the podcasts at times, but I'm still not sold on if I should go back, or if I should just impose time limits like the other things (I could use screen time so that I can only use the app for 2 hours or between a certain time, like when I exercise). And even there, I feel like I don't gravitate toward anything helpful or educational - only entertainment to keep my mind distracted. I'll have to continue pondering what I'll do once I reach 90 days.

I'm trying to do better with genuinely engaging with my hobbies, but I'm still struggling with many of them feeling like obligations instead of things to do for fun. Not sure why that is. For example, I feel like I have to take care of my plants, that I must keep up with them, their watering, pruning, etc. I don't feel like I get to simply interact with them. Everything in my life is often so procedural, which can be very good when trying to maintain schedules and such, but also makes it difficult to just do things for the sake of doing them. Not sure where I'm going with this at the moment, but I know I would like to stop feeling the stress of everything being a self-imposed obligation.

Some say it's the ADHD, that we "procrastinate" doing our hobbies; I do relate. Perhaps it's the vague miasma called "All The Things I Need to Do" that hangs about me. My desire for checklists and procedures is a way of introducing an element of control to so much uncertainty. The prospect of not knowing is what often makes me anxious, and so reducing the amount of guesswork I need to do through the automation of a checklist alleviates this to some extent. But then I end up making the checklists for hobbies, and things I should be doing for fun. Not all of that is bad (having checklists for my plants is helpful), but I need to find ways to keep that from making it into a chore.

I just feel very tired right now, and need to find a way to start really enjoying the things around me. I've considered moving my journal to the Discord, as it seems to have gotten very quiet on this side. Not quite like the old days, but I like the history of what I have here and the format, so I probably won't.

Edited September 28Sep 28 by FDRx7

October 4Oct 4

On 9/29/2026 at 1:09 AM, FDRx7 said:
I'm trying to do better with genuinely engaging with my hobbies, but I'm still struggling with many of them feeling like obligations instead of things to do for fun. Not sure why that is. For example, I feel like I have to take care of my plants, that I must keep up with them, their watering, pruning, etc. I don't feel like I get to simply interact with them. Everything in my life is often so procedural, which can be very good when trying to maintain schedules and such, but also makes it difficult to just do things for the sake of doing them. Not sure where I'm going with this at the moment, but I know I would like to stop feeling the stress of everything being a self-imposed obligation.
Some say it's the ADHD, that we "procrastinate" doing our hobbies; I do relate. Perhaps it's the vague miasma called "All The Things I Need to Do" that hangs about me. My desire for checklists and procedures is a way of introducing an element of control to so much uncertainty. The prospect of not knowing is what often makes me anxious, and so reducing the amount of guesswork I need to do through the automation of a checklist alleviates this to some extent. But then I end up making the checklists for hobbies, and things I should be doing for fun. Not all of that is bad (having checklists for my plants is helpful), but I need to find ways to keep that from making it into a chore.

I remember @BooksandTrees once mused about hobbies turning into work. You kind of have to take care of your plants, otherwise they wither and die. You are right that it's a self-imposed obligation. I think it's possible to like the process of having a plant, but I am definitely not the person for that.

I personally prefer hobbies I can walk away from at any time and that require no ongoing investment of my time. Then I can purely do the hobby for fun without strings attached. If I later want to get more serious about it, I can actively commit (for example, by joining a group, training, buying equipment etc.)

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