1 Year without mindless garbage

[Ace92 54]

It's been a while since my last entry. I have been playing games and listening to music for the past 7 months. staring screens all day makes me feel dumb. After a while i feel i cant think for myself. I feel easily manipulated.

recently, i have wanted to get rid of this feeling. so yesterday afternoon i actually picked up a book and started learning guitar. I felt way better about myself than before. the hard thing for me is consistency. if one day im productive, then the next day i think its okay to slack off. im not sure how to keep it going.

that thought made me decide to quit everything for one year. video games, social media, YouTube, music. my goal is to replace all of these bad habits with actual hobbies. i have a list of things I want to learn and all of this garbage is getting in the way.

the hardest part for me will be music. i love music. when i listen to it, i am able to stay in my comfort zone and not try anything new. im afraid of failure because im afraid i'll be mocked. music allows me to avoid that. however if i don't face failure, i'll never become comfortable with it. music also provides me with my fictional world, which are scenarios that i know won't ever happen. so going cold turkey all of a sudden will be a challenge.

i think the biggest thing for me is to just do. last time i tried detoxing, i always tried to find the motivation to do activities. though, we can't always have motivation, so im gonna challenge myself to go through with something, even if i don't want to do it.

 

the yearly challenge starts today

08/17/2023 - 08/17/2024

 

best,

ace

[Ace92 54]

08/17/2023 ~ Day 1 Complete ✅

 

I want to specify what I would consider relapsing in my case. 
 

For music it'd be using my headphones to listen to my favorite songs. Headphones were the real culprit in making me stay in my comfort zone. I'm fine with listening to music as long as I play it out loud.

 

I was unable to go on my bike ride and help my mom cook today. However I did a plethora of activities to keep myself busy. 
 

I did a bit of reading today, and I quickly noticed that it's much more engaging than video games or youtube videos. It satisfies my need for an experience I can live without actually living it, without leaving me brain dead. Furthermore, it teaches me how people (made up or not) cope with situations. In my current book, A Court of Thorns and Roses, lust/true love is how the main character overcomes obstacles. All of this is enticing me to do more research in how the brain works.

Guitar practice has been going well. I already know how to play the riff for a song, I learned about reading tabs as well. The program I'm using wants me to move on to another song already. It'd be beneficial however, to memorize chords, scales, and learn basic music theory. The internet pointed me to another music program that does exactly this, so I'm going to try it out tomorrow. It was embarrassing at first struggling with strumming but it's building confidence now.

Practiced my French today, I'm getting much better at translating basic sentences into english. I'm glad this is something I'm improving in because apparently, it'll be beneficial for my (hopefully) future business career.

Speaking of business, listened to the first episode of the Tim Ferriss Show. I'm learning a lot of insightful things. Plus I got some early tips for working in corporate America. 

Had a conversation with my mom about me feeling empty. Going through these hobbies are great. Though I didn't realize what I was getting out of it. Overall, I wanted more character in my day. None of these hobbies are mandatory or required responsibilities and that's what I was seeking. My mom responded that I've just reached my 20s, it's a luxury that I have so much free time. Maybe I'll be grateful for it when I look back, but I feel I'm missing something.

 

Gratitude:

God - for creating this earth and guiding me through this detox

Mom - for her advice during our conversation 

Reading - for providing the same enjoyment video games gave me, while being worthwhile.

Tea - I'm getting a bit of a cough. I'm appreciative for its warm, healing, friendly aroma. 
 

here's to tomorrow 

 

best, 

 

ace

[wheatbiscuit 219]

1 hour ago, Ace92 said:

I want to specify what I would consider relapsing in my case. 

For music it'd be using my headphones to listen to my favorite songs. Headphones were the real culprit in making me stay in my comfort zone. I'm fine with listening to music as long as I play it out loud.

I did a bit of reading today, and I quickly noticed that it's much more engaging than video games or youtube videos. It satisfies my need for an experience I can live without actually living it, without leaving me brain dead. Furthermore, it teaches me how people (made up or not) cope with situations.

Had a conversation with my mom about me feeling empty.

My mom responded that I've just reached my 20s, it's a luxury that I have so much free time. Maybe I'll be grateful for it when I look back, but I feel I'm missing something.

Tea - I'm getting a bit of a cough. I'm appreciative for its warm, healing, friendly aroma. 

Haha, my mom usually calls 'luxury' whenever I sleep longer than 8 hours. It is my dad who has said a few times that I won't have free time forever. I am in agreement for when there's work that is a good match. As far as my old workplace went, I say the times when getting paid to actually be our best are irreplaceable. 

'To music or not to music; that is the question!' When my high school maths homework ramped up, the time spent remembering how solve some problems in deep silence had valuable carryover to other things such as jogging and swimming. It could be okay if you need some music to get into a zone, but also to know when it stops really serving you in whatever setting. Speaking with other focused people could replace it entirely too though.

Tea-bros 😄

Edited August 18 by wheatbiscuit

[richter 44]

Congrats on completing day 1.

Reading, learning to play an instrument and learning a new language are hobbies that I would consider for myself too. Nice choices 😄

All the best for day 2.

[Ace92 54]

08/18/2023 - Day 2 completed ✅

I'm writing this now, so I can go to bed early. My headache is making me feel awful.

My coughing has turned into sneezing constantly. if you count the two evils, I'd honestly prefer it. Still sucks though.

 

I vividly remember a few years ago when I would stay up way past my bedtime to play games. Even as a child, if I had school the next morning, I would sneak my DS under my bed. It had this weird, almost eerie, but satisfying aura to it.

Now on day 2, I got out of bed at 6:15. I did the morning basics, (making bed, brushing teeth, prayer). It's now 7:20 and no one else is awake yet. A similar aura is revealing itself. Probably a sign that I can live without all these gadgets. Still eerie but peaceful, welcoming.

 

Had urges to watch youtube videos and listen to music using my headphones after breakfast. The cause of these urges were my underlying desire for a relationship. Some days I desire it because I'm lonely. Maybe a relationship will provide me with emotional support. Although I can get emotional support and love from my family. I just need to stop being so stubborn and talking back to them all the time. I need to learn to laugh at myself, and stop being so serious.

 

Wasn't able to practice French today because of my headache. However I read for most of the day, which was satisfying. Finished two books, one was, A Court of Thorns and Roses, about a human girl who saves a magical village she heard evil stories about. The second was, Little Leaders: Bold Women In Black History, which detailed the impactful achievements of black women throughout history. Both famous and less famous. Both books were interesting and I recommend them. 
 

played guitar today, tried out the other lesson service the internet pointed me to. Didn't like it as much as I had a hard time getting the app to recognize the notes it wanted me to play. Despite me playing clearly. So I'll stick to memorizing chords through the poster on the wall in the basement. Learned two chords today though. 
 

I managed to workout today as well.

 

Gratitude:

God - for helping me resist my urges and guiding me through day 2

Tea - for clearing my cough

Rain - it rained this morning, I love the color of the sky after a rainstorm and the sound it makes on the roof. 
 

Couches - I had a great nap today. 
 

here's to tomorrow 

 

best,

ace

 

 

[Ace92 54]

19 hours ago, wheatbiscuit said:

I am in agreement for when there's work that is a good match. As far as my old workplace went, I say the times when getting paid to actually be our best are irreplaceable. 

 

Yeah, that's what I was missing out on. I'm not working right now, and I miss the sensation of always having something to do. To know what my responsibility is. Though as I said before, I knew I would look back on what my mom said and appreciate it. She's right, I won't have free time forever. Next summer is when I have to get an internship, so I'll have my hands full then. I should be grateful I have a bit of time before college to develop myself. 
 

19 hours ago, wheatbiscuit said:

. It could be okay if you need some music to get into a zone, but also to know when it stops really serving you in whatever setting

For the most part I am going to play music when folding laundry, driving, or [sometimes] showering. Otherwise deep silence is the way I hope to go.

 

best,

ace

[Ace92 54]

15 hours ago, richter said:

Congrats on completing day 1.

Reading, learning to play an instrument and learning a new language are hobbies that I would consider for myself too. Nice choices 😄

All the best for day

Thank you!

[Grogu 38]

On 8/17/2023 at 10:36 PM, Ace92 said:

the hard thing for me is consistency. if one day im productive, then the next day i think its okay to slack off. im not sure how to keep it going.

that thought made me decide to quit everything for one year. video games, social media, YouTube, music. my goal is to replace all of these bad habits with actual hobbies. i have a list of things I want to learn and all of this garbage is getting in the way.

Good luck in your journey ace! I also struggle with this and also starting my journey in doing actual habits instead of the addictive sites. Today is my day 1.

All the best! 🙂

[Ace92 54]

08/19/2023 - Day 3 Completed ✅

 

Pretty lazy day today. Nevertheless, it was productive. 
 

The only thing I didn't do was practice guitar. 
 

I kind of wanted to rest up today, not only to help my cough but because I have a concert tomorrow night I am attending. I've been sick all weekend so I want to (hopefully) be in top condition for the show. Praying I don't get anyone else ill.

 

Fun day. I completed another book today. Finishing stories is way more satisfying than completing a video game. I got pissed at video games because I wouldn't have been good enough. Even if I was, finishing games didn't feel accomplishing. They were a slough. Books on the other hand, educate on different parts of life. And are worthwhile experiences. I know I'm getting something out of books, it's great.

I also continued with my French today, that has been going well.

Excitingly, I actually had "work" today. Every year my college makes students take a course on alcohol and marijuana safety, and Title IX. Ensuring that this information is fresh in our heads. So I got that done and out of the way.

Finished this good day off watching Star Wars with my dad. I'm going to bed a happy soul.

 

Gratitude: 

God - for guiding me through the day and keeping me on track.

My immune system - for working so hard to keep me safe and fighting whatever infection I had

Toothbrushes, Toothpaste & Mouthwash - I love going to bed with a fresh mouth.

Dad - for putting dinner on the table and watching star wars with me

Star Wars - for existing. Star wars is so fricking cool I love it so much!

 

here's to tomorrow 

best,

ace

Edited August 20 by Ace92

[Ace92 54]

21 hours ago, Grogu said:

Good luck in your journey ace! I also struggle with this and also starting my journey in doing actual habits instead of the addictive sites. Today is my day 1.

Thank you @Grogu! 
 

I wish you all the best as well!

best

ace

Edited August 20 by Ace92

[WishINever 13]

Sounds like you've reached the tipping point. Your desire to improve will carry you through. Just don't let that be a source of excuses that you make for yourself. You don't wanna start that streak over from zero again would you? If you clear a year, that would be a monumental achievement. Most people don't have that kind of willpower. You'll get to say I told you so. Think of all the things you will be able to accomplish in that year. Most of all, it should give you some clarity about what you actually want in life. From there, you can decide if you think you can go back and enjoy these things socially/in moderation or if they are simply not for you. 

[Ace92 54]

08/20/2023 - Day 4 completed ✅

 

Another laid back day. The only things I got accomplished was watching more star wars and starting a new book.  
 

For most of the day, I laid down and pondered different questions that were floating in my mind. Why do I want to stop playing video games? Why do I want to improve my life? What gifts will I receive from it? What gifts will I receive from putting my dedication into healthy activities? Why was I put on this planet? What is God's purpose for me?

If I look at the surface, it seems simple. I want to quit games so I can start living in the real world. While that is a response. It rationalizes my questions. Pushes them to the side instead of giving a clear cut answer. I admit I am still pondering these questions. But once I answer them, I hope I will have a clear cut idea of why I'm here. What my ultimate goal in life is. 
 

I was also thinking how Instagram is essentially a video game. I used to browse every day, to check in on how people were doing. The reality is, the only thing people post is how great their lives are. When they don't, they're attention seeking. The people who constantly update their story are like emotionless zombies. Trapped by this need to keep "checking in on" [stalking] their favorite celebrity. They're caught in this game of needing a certain celebrity to notice them, or get a certain number of likes. If they don't they've lost. If they fail, then to them it means that they're lives are worse than somebody else's. However, everyone's life has good and bad things that happen in it. Instagram sucks because it warps your perception that everyone. That every single person has their life figured out by 17 when that's not the case. It's like how a game warps your perception into thinking that their are no problems in your life because you've already achieved everything you wanted [in the game]. I'm glad I chose to leave it behind.

 

It perplexes me. If helping other people makes the world go round, then why do we always try to one up each other? 
 

Anyway, today was a big thinking day. I'm off to the concert!
 

Gratitude:

God - guiding me through this journey

Showers - for keeping me clean and the warmth it provides

Books - teaching me new things everyday! I've noticed my diction and vocabulary has improved too!

Journaling - for letting me write all my thoughts down

 

here's to tomorrow 

best,

ace

[Ace92 54]

Hi. I ended up relapsing. I thought the questions I asked in my last entry were insightful and thought provoking. But it ended in my downfall. I guess I won't ponder it and just go cold turkey. 
 

best 

 

ace

[Grogu 38]

"These small hiccups don’t make you a failure, they make you human. The most successful people in the world slip up on their habits too. What separates them isn’t their willpower or motivation, it’s their ability to get back on track quickly." 

- James Clear's article
How to Get Back on Track: 7 Ways to Bounce Back After Slipping Up (jamesclear.com)

Ace, I also slipped up on my social media detox. Article I sent above might help. All the best!

[Ace92 54]

Hello.

 

I've been gone the past few days because i relapsed. Hard. I fell back on all my old habits. 
 

Somehow, I woke up early today. I'm currently sitting on my porch, looking out at the road, listening to the rain. Though this is small. It made me realize how much life is comprised of small moments like this. Every  experience isn't going to be something big like going to a concert or skydiving. I should take time to appreciate these moments.

 

One of the things I thought about after the relapse. Was how relapsing enabled me to be apart of the fandoms I love. Star Wars and countless video game and music communities. I fear that without games or my phone, I won't be able to appreciate or experience these communities as much. Though I'll still be able to. As long as none of it pertains to video games or music. I'm sure I can find other ways to enjoy the media I love without turning to social media, video games or discord. 
 

My mom somehow has been able to live a joyful, happy life. She hasn't even touched a video game since I encouraged her to almost 11 years ago. Even before then, she hadn't touched a video game since the NES era. 
 

I am trying again 1 year - no games

 

08/25/2023 - 08/25/2024

best

ace

[Ace92 54]

I'm going to be updating periodically on my progress. Just any thoughts or new insights I have. I managed to complete today without video games. However, I'll count monthly. Each month I'll dedicate myself to one hobby. 
 

From 8/25/2023 to 9/25/2023 I will focus on Weight training & Cardio

best 

ace

[wheatbiscuit 219]

On 8/26/2023 at 12:11 PM, Ace92 said:

I'm going to be updating periodically on my progress. Just any thoughts or new insights I have. I managed to complete today without video games. However, I'll count monthly. Each month I'll dedicate myself to one hobby. 
 

From 8/25/2023 to 9/25/2023 I will focus on Weight training & Cardio

best 

ace

Those two/that dual-hobby also ought to help make lifelong habits - but learning as much as possible about them in a month in the current state of the internet (if not books) would be interesting to follow, if you don't already know a lot. I did most of my learning cherrypicking from videos and articles in 2010/2011, and mostly felt my way from there.

Still, good luck/happy sourcing!

[Ace92 54]

Thanks @wheatbiscuit

 

Randomly read the wikipedia article about trinidad and tobago today. It got me thinking how learning is an integral part of life. If you aren't learning, you aren't living. 
 

All the subjects taught in school, History, sciences, english, math, music, physical education and art. They were implemented into our routine to teach us parts of how the world worked. How this world came to be. How the world operates. I'm fascinated by this topic.

Which makes me want to learn more math, science, history, art, english, music & physical education. My ultimate goal in life is to create a long lasting impact by helping others. To truly appreciate this world for what it is, instead of focusing on all the negatives. 

So for my schedule moving forward, I am going to create a morning and evening routine to improve my sleep. But I'm also going to read a lot more, meditate, and try to do one positive action every day.

wish me luck

 

best 

ace

btw I am 4 days without games 

Edited August 28 by Ace92

[Amphibian220 621]

Hello,

About the fandoms. Remember an important pattern about simplified models. 

Our fathers had to get out to see their friends and spend time with them. We can do so by using a smart phone. We have a simplified model that has hidden negative costs not immediately obvious to us.

We can play a sport (more effort required), or play a video game (less effort, harm delayed in time.

We can live without building up identities, processes and goals, it is much easier. But this way has hefty hidden costs associated with it.

We can acquire values from cinema and media that is littered with manipulative devices. Spending time with our families and communities isn’t as easy.

This list extends to many issues. Our bodies should accept having to do the work and strive for excellence. 

Edited August 31 by Amphibian220

[Ace92 54]

Right @Amphibian220 thats why Im limiting fandom use to reading books (new stories, great benefits) and writing. Both of which benefit me in building an identity but still allows me to enjoy the media i like.

getting way better at socializing in person. I'm just being myself. I guess the thing i struggle with is I feel based on current circumstances (in the moment), there are only certain questions I can ask. I need to break this thought process as I can ask any question at any time. I'm becoming way more confident and I'm discovering more things about me. I'm just being myself, I'm not hiding who I am.

i am 11 days without video games
 

 

[Amphibian220 621]

Books, they can act as mentors and grant you the tools to modify your environment for the better.

I heard that having habits that target your key needs in a healthy way acts as a safeguard against harmful coping mechanisms. 

Sometimes meeting a single individual with a lot of life strength in him is enough to make a warrior out of you.

Habits are a matter of an event. A single event led to a habit of playing video games. Video games then trained the target to think in terms of scarcity. Video games are easier than achieving something of real benefit to the community. Then certain workplaces are like video games. People perform tasks that are largely redundant and serve no meaningful goal. The same workforce can be organized in a way to serve a great mission. But the nice guy video gamer cannot take the pain to enter that territory. 

Conflicts and disagreements should happen for the right reasons. This is why the armies were so good in beating the shit out of nice guys. Then many armies became voluntary and the proportion of dishonest nice guys started rising again. 

Edited September 5 by Amphibian220

[Ace92 54]

right now is the first time I am attracted to someone based on their sweetness based on their personality. Instead of only focusing on their looks. I think this is a major step in bettering my relationships with people. idk i just read somewhere that it's better to love based on how they make you feel and the way they are. Rather than the way they look.

 

i am 12 days without games 

[FDRx7 73]

@Ace92 That’s wonderful! While looks can be great, they will inevitably shift for better or worse over the years. It’s cliche but when you love someone because of what’s inside, that’s the enduring treasure.

[Ace92 54]

my social skills/life is becoming way better. i'm waking up happier as well. im becoming more and more eager to learn things and understand more about the world. quitting games was the best decision ever. I've never had genuine friends up until this point, and they're literally the nicest people ever.

I'm 27 days without playing video games

[Ace92 54]

I want to get back into hobbies again. I've noticed that without games, I'm spending a bit more time on my phone than in the physical world. i want to eliminate this.

 

some hobbies i want to get better at/pick up are

 

exercise/cardio

foreign languages (french, spanish, & japanese)

reading

meditation

guitar/drums/piano

singing

dancing

beatboxing

Painting/drawing

I think my brain works in the sense that if I put all my effort into one hobby and just study it and practice it, it'll come true. This is what happened with my driving (now i have my license) and my social life (now i have a close circle of friends and a boyfriend)! 
 

it'll definitely be more interesting in the long run to discuss my hobbies and the things that i genuinely have a passion for than to just be like "oh i did nothing" or "i just go on my phone." With this the dreaded "what did you do over the weekend" won't be so painful.

 

While I think all of these are important in the current situation i'm in (i get stuck in my head and overthink). I think the most important hobby for me to start with is meditation. It's easy to start and will help me be one with the real world, get out of my head more. 
 

i am 31 days without video games.