Daily Journal (Darshan's diary)

[DARSHAN2017]

Hello every one 

Myself Darshan here

Age 22 years male

i feel that finally i have been able to defeat one of my addictions which is gaming addiction 

my streak is 4 months plus(i dont remember when the streak started but somewhere end of december)

now when i look back 

gosh its wasnt that tough as i felt at the beginning

all i had to do was 

1. Delete All the games from the device i used to play

the reason for this is that it made me difficult to acces them.

the device on which i play is mobile

so deleting the game meant if i had to play i needed to download the games again

while many say they easily are able to download the thing which was beneficial for me was that i dont have wifi at home and i dont have online payment mechanism to buy data coupons plus i didnt received free data coupons from the telecom company 

since i had limited amount of data which i needed to study it became Difficult for me to download

Note : why i say difficult and not impossible is because if i wanted i could download game by using data from moms phone thats where the next step helped me

but before going to the next step making it difficult to access easily helped me to avoid relapse 

 

2. What about the games with low download size 

For example games like clash of clans, critical ops and so on are of low size but at the same time addictive

so not only did i delete the game but also deleted the the entire progress which meant if i ever wanna play i have to scratch.

Then there may be doubts like what if i start playing from scratch and build up everything from base how can i stop myself from playing at all

anf for this i followed step 3

 

3. Ask questions to urself

one of the most important step

i sat and asked myself

1. how many games have u played ?

around 30 to 35 + games dont want to mention the names

2. how many hours u spent on gaming ?

collectively more than 1000 hours

this is fucking huge because this much time in studies would have saved my 2.5 yrs from being wasted

3. what did u gain from playing these many hours?

failure, lack of studies - wasting two + years, anxiety, depression, rage, stressed out, on he verge of breaking up the relation

4. were u happy when u were playing?

No. i was playing because i wanted to escape from the reality, it was mindlessly playing and i would rage whenever i used to lose

5. was all this worth it?

NO

6. Do u wanna stay the same ?

No

7. What will happen if u dont change?

Unemployed, bad mental and physical health and losing the love of my life, homeless and so on

8. do you wanna try changing?

yes absolutely

9. what will happen if u change?

i can travel the world with loved ones

i can go to theme parks

i can just be happy

 

Note : in the beginning these questions didnt prevent me from relapsing but after a period of time it started working 

and now here i'm

 

in these 4 months plus 

i played 5 times to 6 times but never more than 1.5 hr

and when i did play i didnt consider it as complete relapse 

it was a weak moment where i gave in but as soon as i came back to my senses i stopped playing deleted it and back to work

 

this was my journey from a game addict to a free man from gaming

hope this helps some 1 out there and donot give up 

life is too short to waste on these super natural stimulus

lets free ourselves and help out others when they need help

[DARSHAN2017]

08/05/2023

yesterday and today i had urges to play clah of clans

the thought of developing a village growing and becoming strong in virtual world is fascinating

plus making a youtube channel of building the village from scratch and then mastering the battle strategies and gain more subscribers and earn money is fascinating and too tempting

but i asked again few questions 

do u really wanna do it? i gave a thought how i easily got addicted previosuly and wasted lots of time.

plus i donot see myself playing it in future becuase i have different goals

the temptations were super strong 

but my determination was stronger

it wasnt easy to get here 

but this is worth it

i'm losing nothing by not playing games so the FOMO is also gone 

I desire to make a youtube channel  in future

which wont happen for next one year or so because i just dont wanna share something which i donot follow 

lets see how i improve myself

towards my next addiction - youtube , anime, porn and mastrubation

Addicton i overcame -  games, binge watch series

i have along way to go

if any one need any help ever feel free to message me 

i ll make sure to reply by the coming sunday

thanks and donot give up.