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Wildermyth

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Lots of people at my work are talking about the latest Harry Potter game. I previously planned to buy it as I was really hyped for a new RPG. One of my collegues said that she had trouble doing anything other than playing the game. She even came to a point where she concidered uninstalling it in order to get some important things done. I'm glad that I focused on this part of the conversation instead of being enticed by all the game talk.

It fascinates me that most people who play games do it obsessively in the moment, but only a few people cannot control it over time. One girl I know for instance can game in isolation for hours, barely eating or doing her chores, but then she feels satisfied and can go several weeks without thinking of gaming. I just don't understand how her brain can balance itself out like that and not just lose control completely. But maybe it's the same thing with people who like to drink; some might get really drunk in the moment but they have no issues with keeping it healthy in the long run.

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Your point about occasional playing I think has to do with identity perception. A person who does not consider himself a gamer and has no strong attachment, will buy a game and play it until hw gets bored when there is a lot of publicity about it.

But repeating something on a regular basis is building a stronger attachment and shifting identity. Its also important to be developed in multiple aspects ( i.e. sport, communication, work, charity and family relationships) so one thinng doesn’t define you completely.

Video games supply a gamer with endless problem solving and modify the brain to a very unhealthy work pattern. It is very reminiscent of how the food companies entice us to overeat by presenting something simple and functional as a way to get satisfied.

 Just one week away from the telephone and “fast thinking” and I started noticing actual solvable problems that were not noticed before. The brain started doing its work. In this age information is a “Jammer”.

One of my observations over the last 2 years. One of the members of GQ travelled to Yukon, Canada, another went to a city in Iceland. In both cases they had no to minimal access to technology, plus they gained access to an internal spiritual resource that activates when one moves away from financial centeres that suck energy and life out of him.

They related how they got clarity with what they needed in their lives, what was neglected and required mending. I will also state that in my case, digestion improved greatly. Without the crazy marketing, I just ate plain food, and only took as much as I needed. 

Edited by Amphibian220
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On 3/13/2023 at 11:30 AM, Wildermyth said:

Lots of people at my work are talking about the latest Harry Potter game. I previously planned to buy it as I was really hyped for a new RPG. One of my collegues said that she had trouble doing anything other than playing the game. She even came to a point where she concidered uninstalling it in order to get some important things done. I'm glad that I focused on this part of the conversation instead of being enticed by all the game talk.

It fascinates me that most people who play games do it obsessively in the moment, but only a few people cannot control it over time. One girl I know for instance can game in isolation for hours, barely eating or doing her chores, but then she feels satisfied and can go several weeks without thinking of gaming. I just don't understand how her brain can balance itself out like that and not just lose control completely. But maybe it's the same thing with people who like to drink; some might get really drunk in the moment but they have no issues with keeping it healthy in the long run.

 

I think there are multiple reasons for that.

1) Why do you game? Are you doing it because of fun or to escape RL? Not everyone needs to escape RL, because they don’t struggle with anything. Not because they are awesome, its most of the time because their goals are not really set high, maybe they dont even have goals. Just daily wake up go to work and then do whatever you want. If you dont need to escape anything, I see a lot less reasons that you get hooked compared to someone who is gaming.

2) Is that game competitive or just single player stuff? Do you want to reach a high rank? Those things let you get hooked quickly if you are that type of a guy. No need to have a reason to escape rl then, because gaming is your goal.

 

I think there are many more reason, but I think the BIGGEST thing are your circumstances in RL. Do you have problems? Do you have a rough time? Are your goals overwhelming you? Those are IMO the major trigger that you get addicted by anything. Thats how the brain works -> hard task, na Dont want to do that -> easy task & dopamin, lets go for it

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15 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

 

I think there are multiple reasons for that.

1) Why do you game? Are you doing it because of fun or to escape RL? Not everyone needs to escape RL, because they don’t struggle with anything. Not because they are awesome, its most of the time because their goals are not really set high, maybe they dont even have goals. Just daily wake up go to work and then do whatever you want. If you dont need to escape anything, I see a lot less reasons that you get hooked compared to someone who is gaming.

2) Is that game competitive or just single player stuff? Do you want to reach a high rank? Those things let you get hooked quickly if you are that type of a guy. No need to have a reason to escape rl then, because gaming is your goal.

 

I think there are many more reason, but I think the BIGGEST thing are your circumstances in RL. Do you have problems? Do you have a rough time? Are your goals overwhelming you? Those are IMO the major trigger that you get addicted by anything. Thats how the brain works -> hard task, na Dont want to do that -> easy task & dopamin, lets go for it

Yes, I believe there is a lot of truth to your reflections. I for one both wanted to escape parts of my reality and get a higher rank/status in competitive games. The multiplayer component I believe is a rather strong one because if you think about the MMO genre for instance there were lots of people that had no previous experience with gaming but got immediately hooked on it. In those games you were able to escape to a different social reality where you had a sort of status and something to work towards and if it didn't please you you could just log off in an instant. I remember when WoW got released and people dropped out of school because they couldn't stop playing; and many of them had no prior experience with gaming beyond some small mobile games at the time. Ironically I never played WoW at release so I could witness it as a bystander.

My boss told me while we were talking about my gaming addiction that his daughters had urged him to uninstall Tetris on his phone because he couldn't stop playing once he started it. He used this example to show that he could relate somehow to my addiction. And I know plenty of people in his age who get hooked to these "small" games like Candy Crush, Farmville etc. Even if it's not on the same level as a true addiction it's still damaging enough to cause problems in your everyday life. And if you're that vulnerable to such casual mini-games the risk might be high that you will be caught up in something more substantial and long-lasting.

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Had a real dip yesterday with almost no motivation. I had to excuse myself to a collegue because I zoned out so much that she started to notice. Within autism it's called "lock-up" or "freeze". It's a rather strange sensation where important functions such as speech might be shut down in order to deal with the overwhelming sense of stress. I'm not sure what caused the stress this time as it usually crawls up on me rather than hits me straight in the face.

Since I got my diagnosis at a later age I never understood these emotions before, but my go-to solution was always gaming of course. When playing a game I never had to overcome my lack of speech or dealing with someone wanting my attention; I could just sit there for hours and suprress my emotions while trying to stay focused on a different reality. Not being able to escape this anymore makes me live more in the moment and try to figure these feelings out. I'm also more open to talk about them and let others know what I'm dealing with. All in all it's a positive thing, even If I cannot prevent the emotional response per se.

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During my photo course we finally went outside last weekend and took photos of various objects in the city center. As I'm aiming to become better at nature photography I tried to find as many animals as possible. Naturally there were mostly dogs and some birds but I managed to get this shot of a sidensvans (rowan in english) sitting at the top of a tree. I took maybe 30 pictures in total but this one came out quite good. I think I'll forever save it to remind me of where I started out. 🙂

I used to like photo modes in various video games which was great fun, but in the end nothing beats capturing real life moments. It's much, much harder to take photos in reality but when you do manage to get that perfect shot it's forever in your possession and you can share it with as many as you like. It's also a great testament to all the wondrous experiences you've had.

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Feeling a bit low and sensitive lately due to lots of stress around me. Haven't thought much about gaming though which is a plus. But it's more because all the other stressful things are so overwhelming that there's no space left for other thoughts. I really don't like feeling like this so I hope it will turn around soon. 

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Regarding stress, are you in he habit of

proactively addressing issues and cutting at the root,

or being reactive to them (treating symptoms),

or just avoiding issues outright?

I had a gaming time followed by a time when I didn't play games but spent a lot of time thinking about them.

In both of these periods, I would not address my important needs because I was unaware of them. 

This fueled long term stagnation. “Its not too bad” was the self deception. I took all the precautions to extend the constant low until I was out of moves.

Sometimes better awareness causes you to go out and fight. When I understood that I am backed into a corner with nowhere to run or hide, I went out of my way and stated very clearly to myself and people around me what I wanted and this was not tentative, it was assertive. I then took systematic action to get to my goals and sacrificed time, effort.

it also killed the low expectations in me. When i learned how much was at stake i was ready to put the lazy character in check and confront people.

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On 3/23/2023 at 9:33 AM, Amphibian220 said:

Regarding stress, are you in he habit of

proactively addressing issues and cutting at the root,

or being reactive to them (treating symptoms),

or just avoiding issues outright?

I had a gaming time followed by a time when I didn't play games but spent a lot of time thinking about them.

In both of these periods, I would not address my important needs because I was unaware of them. 

This fueled long term stagnation. “Its not too bad” was the self deception. I took all the precautions to extend the constant low until I was out of moves.

Sometimes better awareness causes you to go out and fight. When I understood that I am backed into a corner with nowhere to run or hide, I went out of my way and stated very clearly to myself and people around me what I wanted and this was not tentative, it was assertive. I then took systematic action to get to my goals and sacrificed time, effort.

it also killed the low expectations in me. When i learned how much was at stake i was ready to put the lazy character in check and confront people.

Thanks for the inspirational words. I'm fairly confident in myself and my ability, but I'm occasionally sensitive to change and the influence of other people. I am autistic so much of this stems from my genes and how I've adapted to my traits and special needs over the years. I get easily fixated on things and can obsess over people who hold emotional power over me, and this is also why I got stuck with video games for so long. I am seeing a therapist at the moment who helps me understand some of these hardships because at times I am quite lost. People usually describe me as someone who has a lot of self-awareness and discipline, but they don't always understand the struggle deep inside. I am at peace with this part of myself today and I know that it's just in my nature to get emotionally overwhelmed from time to time.

My main focus right now, besides learning more about myself and staying away from gaming, is to prove that I can overcome various challenges even under stress. So far I've traveled a bit and learnt new skills and I've always loved the feeling afterwards. Life becomes less of an obstacle and more of an opportunity. This winter I've learnt how to ski at various resorts and during summer I'm gonna go on my first trip overseas all alone. It has lit a spark in me that gaming never could. When I played video games I could feel immense moments of joy in the moment but I was always left with a feeling of hollowness and futility. A real life experience never results in that as it includes so much more meaningful experience.

Overall I feel like I am on the right track but every now and then I need some guidance and support because my emotions get the better of me. It's one day at a time and just try to make the most out of it.

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This weekend I finally went to Hemavan, which is a big ski resort in my county. When I set out to learn how to ski this was one of my biggest goals. I wanted to grow in confidence and strengthen my body so that I could ski in a large unexplored area for at least two days. In the end I enjoyed myself for a full three days of skiiing where everything went almost perfectly. Out of 36 slopes I checked off 25 of them and also visited plenty of restaurants and wonderful vistas. It's hard to capture nature when it's so vast and beautiful but the picture below was my best effort I believe.

At the end of the trip I crossed my bucket list where it said "learn how to ski" because I'm now confident enough that I feel I can go anywhere and enjoy myself on a pair of skis. It took only three months to reach this stage which makes me believe that there is so much more things I can learn and many more challenges I can overcome. You just have to set your mind to it, go for it and never give up.

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What a nice picture it is. During my undergraduate study my university organized a trip to a French ski resort and we had a lot of great experiences there. Tell you something, that charged me up for the rest of that academic year.

Are you updating the bucket list? Its no less important than completing the goals on it.

I started a list of non-current goals of my own. More like targets of opportunity.

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1 hour ago, Amphibian220 said:

What a nice picture it is. During my undergraduate study my university organized a trip to a French ski resort and we had a lot of great experiences there. Tell you something, that charged me up for the rest of that academic year.

Are you updating the bucket list? Its no less important than completing the goals on it.

I started a list of non-current goals of my own. More like targets of opportunity.

Yes, I'm updating it every now and then but it's quite long already so I'm more than satisfied with what I'm aiming for at the moment. 🙂

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My emotional roller-coaster has continued due to stress at work and some difficulties socializing. I'm feeling lonely now for the first time in many years and it has caught me somewhat off guard. I'm caught in a situation almost every day now where I close down emotionally and don't want to communicate. People wonder what's wrong with me as a result but it's hard to open up at work where it's most noticable. Thankfully I'm seeing a therapist now so I'm hoping for some guidance with all of this. She acknowledges that my situation is a bit complicated due to certain factors that I don't want to get into here. I know it's a phase, but man does it hurt riding it out. I wish for it all to be over and forgotten so I can just move on and bring back the hopeful feeling I had just a couple of months ago.

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Went on a last-minute ski trip this weekend and stayed at my sisters place again. My original plan was to spend time with some friends and go on a trip to their birthplace, but it all got really complicated with transportation and I couldn't get more than two days off in total. I was also planning to go on a concert (Meshuggah) this friday but I skipped it in order to visit my sister one day early. I just wanted to get away from my town and meet some familiar people for a couple of days.

I made some immense progress on my skiiing this time as I went down a black slope at the end of the day (and survived!). I can't believe I started skiiing only three months ago and now I'm going down the most challenging slopes. I might not have the best technique just yet but I can safely go down without losing control and at the same time enjoy myself.

I can't stop thinking about what this winter would've looked like if I had continued with my gaming. I probably would've been hunting trophies in the latest Harry Potter game, or maybe wasting lots of money on several games on sale that I barely had an interest in in the first place. But instead I granted mysef a real life skill that I now can use with my friends for years to come. And I know for sure that it's only more to come because I'm thirsting for more knowledge!

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Plus you are investing in long term health by skiing. Your general stamina, lungs, heart and eyes benefit from this.

I remember a news report about a gaming club in China where one teenage was so frustrated with the mistakes of his teammates in a strategy game, that he literally grabbed the monitor in front of him and smashed it with his head. The picture of it was shocking, there was a huge hole in that monitor and the other players sat next to the guy were so busy with the match they couldn’t get up to check on the guy. You should have seen them, collapsed in their chairs like these lazy animals that live on trees.

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I love your photos! The bird one and the ski shoes are superb. 

Loneliness can be hard. A big reason I think I game is because I don’t have people to hang out with irl, or don’t want to put in the effort to make that happen. Audiobooks and audio dramas do help me feel similarly, but still don’t get to the core of the issue. Being able to sit with oneself. I feel like i’m in this constant cycle of distraction from my own discomfort. 

Glad you’re on here. Keep it up 👍 

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1 hour ago, Laney said:

I love your photos! The bird one and the ski shoes are superb. 

Loneliness can be hard. A big reason I think I game is because I don’t have people to hang out with irl, or don’t want to put in the effort to make that happen. Audiobooks and audio dramas do help me feel similarly, but still don’t get to the core of the issue. Being able to sit with oneself. I feel like i’m in this constant cycle of distraction from my own discomfort. 

Glad you’re on here. Keep it up 👍 

Oh, thank you for all the kind words! I’m getting a new tele lens this week so I’ll be sure to post some more photos soon. Hopefully it will be of some birds. 🙂

And compared to gaming the act of socializing takes a lot of effort and drains your energy pretty fast if you’re not used to ut. I have a couple of friends but due to them having children now we don’t hang out as much. It’s the way of life I guess and I respect that. One of my friends showed me an app that could help with finding like-minded people so I’m thinking of trying it out in the future maybe. I’m dying to meet some people that would like to travel. 

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So this saturday we had a lovely sunny day in my hometown and I took the occasion to try out my brand new telezoom lens. I bought it to be able to get closer to animals as I'm aiming to become more proficient at nature photography. It was really hard to track some of the creatures; especially the small birds as they were circling around every little tree branch and were easily scared by my presence. I'm now beginning to understand why some photographers dress up in hunting clothes and make use of camouflage on their cameras...

Anyways, I'll share the best picture I got during the day. It depicts a blue tit (*childish giggle*) that was enjoying the sun all alone on top of a tree. Quite a fuzzy and cute little fellow, even though he was a bit camera shy. 🐦

DSCF1065.jpg

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My mood is slowly starting to change for the better. I’ve had a great couple of last days with a feeling of ”flow”. I’m closing in on 90 day gaming free now and my therapist suggested I should celebrate it somehow. I’m thinking of bringing a cake to work so I can also show important it feels to me. My colleagues already know my struggle but they don’t know how far I’ve gotten. 🙂

Compared to the last time when I had a relapse shortly after my 90 days I’m feeling way different this time. I have lots of confidence and I’ve barely thought of games the last couple of weeks. I feel very hopeful that I will continue staying gaming free this time.

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Today I've officially been gaming free for 90 days! I know it's just the first of many more milestones to come but I'm not gonna downplay it as anything less significant. Last time I relapsed shortly after my 90 days but this time I feel much, much stronger and more confident. I have new hobbies now that take a lot of time and energy and they just feel so much more attractive than gaming. If nothing else I don't have any kind of money to spend on gaming even If I wanted to pick it up, so it's all for the better. Later this evening I'm gonna treat myself to some fancy food to really mark the occasion. My therapist thought it would be a good idea, as it boosts the feeling of success, and I concur. 🥳

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Last week I was lucky to catch a glimpse of this little fellow down at the city river, and before he swam away with great haste I managed to get a couple of photos as well. At first I thought it was a beaver but looking at the tail and the shape of the nose I quickly realized it was a musk rat. It's very unusual to see them swim so close to the city center, even though it was evening time. I've been hunting for tracks ever since but haven't discovered anyting significant. I've mostly been out during the day though so maybe I have to rethink my approach and go out during the evenings or early morning perhaps.

I've had many hobbies over the years with gaming being the most prominent one and I was a bit afraid that I wouldn't find anything to replace gaming with that had the same feeling of joy for me. But learning how to ski this winter and now falling in love with photography has quickly changed that whole mindset and turned fear into hope. The brain just have to work these things out over time I believe and eventually you'll start to get rewarded with things that felt insignificant before. There's so much meaning to life beyond staying glued to a screen all day; you just have to muster the courage to go outside and follow your intuition.

 

DSCF1436-Enhanced-NR.thumb.jpg.0bbe9d56c9175bb4185b6b5c249ca38d.jpg

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As the ski season has been drawing to a close and my camera has been submitted for an exchange for a better camera I don't have much to entertain myself with besides watching some movies and doing some exercise. It's kinda nice to have a pause from my hobbies to build up that excitement again but of course I think about what I used to do in order to kill this kind of downtime. I'm also looking for solutions to entertain myself during my summer travels when I'm on a train or a plane. Having a portable gaming device was the perfect time killer in those situations as I was so engaged in the games that I forgot about the dull travel experience. I'm looking to invest in some kind of laptop perhaps to be able to watch movies and edit photos on the go, but at the moment I don't have that kind of money. If I'm lucky I'll catch a night train when I visit my parents down south so I can just sleep off the entire travel. So yeah, maybe it won't be a problem and I'm getting all worked up for nothing. 🙂

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  • 2 weeks later...

Had a pretty rough and emotional weekend. Lots of pieces have fallen into place in my life yet I feel a bit hollow from time to time. I did a mistake during this friday which frustrated a person I care about and this set off lots of turmoil within me. I've really gone out of my way to avoid any confrontation with this particular person and yet it still happens. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself and maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion, but I feel what I feel and it takes lots of energy to think about it. I think I need to find new friends and try to focus on people who truly want me in their life. I'm not sure this person wants me in their life and that's the main cause for my strong feelings. I have this fixation with certain people who have lots of things in common with me, and I get easily carried away with emotions. I just can't figure out sometimes if the chemistry is wrong or if it's just something else. This happened to me a lot when I was gaming because often I just wanted to hang out with people who were gaming; but every now and then I made a friend that didn't game and many times I did not know how to act or what to propose. I just felt anxious and clueless most of the time. Humans are complicated, and so am I most likely...

On the plus side I've bought some new camera equipment to up my wilflife photo game. I hope to be delivering some new photos soon!

 

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It's been raining these last two days for the first time in a long while. Rainy days were often the perfect excuse for me to get cozy and game all day long. There's plenty of stuff I can do at home now but the mind wanders towards those old days of gaming. I've realized that I maybe should plan more ahead because I'm sometimes caught by surprise by all this free time. Tomorrow I have a day off before the weekend and I think I'm gonna take some photos and really get to know my new camera. I want to sign up for a new evening course but because of the nature of my work schedule it's hard to find times that really suit me. I also want to find some new friends to hang out with and I'm looking to meet some ornithologists or photographers to share my interests. This weekend I'm attendending an annual photo meet in my home city so I really hope to get some new contacts there! 🙂

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