Day 0 of living for progress.

[Dulac]

Hey my name's Lance, I've been addicted to gaming for over half my life now. I remember being about 11 and seeing my cousin playing the auction house on world of Warcraft, I remember it just blew my mind that there were people all over the world that were buying these items and placing them on there. I got a new pc I saved up all my money for and remember being excited the entire day knowing I'd be buying it that evening. Boy if I could go back in time. To be honest I'm not sure if I would change things because I always had an amazing time playing, that's the worst part about it, there is literally nothing that is this satisfying and consistently fun as gaming. But I don't doubt there was some potential wasted in the process. To make matters worse I was abused at home and this made me flee into the virtual world even more, despite my bad habits, I got admitted to a gymnasium which is the highest level of high school education in the Netherlands, however exactly due to these habits I would never do homework and often call in sick just to play WoW at home. I ended up changing schools 4 times. I went from the highest level back to the lowest. At some point I got so angry and frustrated with myself, knowing I could do better, at 19 after getting kicked off my last school I self-studied for my exams and passed every single one, this included 2 extra courses I took on top. I was still gaming but I proved to myself what I was capable of when I did the work. I did the entrance exams for college and got in, after 3 years I got a near 4.0 GPA working hard, though now I am being held back a year to finish a project that I couldn't find the motivation to do last year. It's starting to dawn on me in the most painful way that I am squandering the talent I have, the future I have, completely for fast and easy pleasure. So today I say no more. I want to be more social, to have the energy and the reserve dopamine to spend towards meaningful connections, I want to have peace and not this crazed desire to always be entertained, I want to be bored and find what solutions my mind will try and formulate to add meaning and purpose to my life, I want to become someone my parents and my childhood self could be proud of, I want to love to live and am not using every opportunity to escape it, I want to be exhilarated by uncertainty because I bet on myself. I want to need success like I need air. Most of all, I want to work on the me I didn't dare to be.

Long f*ing read and if ur still here with me ur defo a champ. I'll be posting my daily updates here daily.

 

Peace& love

-Lance 

[Paul A.]

Welcome Lance! Thanks for sharing your story with us. You've already taken the first step in the right direction by deciding to quit gaming. Well done! The next 90 days will prove challenging, but just remember the reason why you decided to quit video games in the first place. Think about all the potential you have to improve your life for the better, and use it as fuel to keep moving forward. You've already proven to yourself that you have what it takes. Now prove it to yourself again. I'll be keeping up with your progress along the way. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help!

[Resonant_Shell]

7 hours ago, Dulac said:

that's the worst part about it, there is literally nothing that is this satisfying and consistently fun as gaming.

It is possible that this belief could be true. However, challenging it would likely prove to be extremely valuable, especially considering how specific it is. Have your mind and body been engaged in every single other possible activity? Module#4 in Cam's Respawn program and/or the GameQuitters Hobby Tool might help you explore such activities. Doing so can provide you with data for determining where gaming ranks in terms of consistent fun and satisfaction.

Reading the rest of your post, I agree with Paul: At the very least, you have proven that you are able to prioritize your studies over gaming, even when still doing the latter.

Anger and frustration might not hold as long-term motivators, but it seems you might already have a "why," wanting to respond to life with a drive towards a purpose, rather than escape. Beginning this detox can serve as your first step in aligning with such purpose!