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Faroe Islander

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12 hours ago, Faroe Islander said:

I need the time that I would gain from quitting videos but also find the lack of entertainment and the little interactions with "o just one more" absolutely excruciating.

I haven't had time to read your diary but what are you getting from videos and games that life isn't providing? I'm sensing a mix of boredom and lack of accomplishment that's feeding the need to do 1 more or get entertained. Is that true at all?

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5 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I haven't had time to read your diary but what are you getting from videos and games that life isn't providing? I'm sensing a mix of boredom and lack of accomplishment that's feeding the need to do 1 more or get entertained. Is that true at all?

The thing is that I don't know for sure, it sure is a good question. 

Right know my theory is that it is mostly a way to escape reality and responsibilities, it often happens either when I'm bored semi depressed / frustrated or when I feel like I have a lot of stuff to do and I'm overwhelmed.

These last year I have been able to enter lots of competitions with a group of friends from uni and be entertained with that while working on the different projects of each competition. These has been lots of fun and kept me occupied but even then I still had some impulses to go back to the internet when I felt like I couldn't do much or felt a state of semi abstinence. 

It has left me with significantly less time to study which has made it more confusing to focus and stay in afloat, I have kind of lost track of some habits and I'm in the process of rebuilding maybe that was part of it since last year I didn't have all of this, didn't have as much fun or experiences but the routine was kind of reassuring and lived in a more organized place (now I live together with a friend). 

Right now I just have little hunches and short term goals about where more or less I want to go (6 months) like what activities I want to do, courses/things I want to learn, habits I want to keep, I'm just trying to survive and keep things from collapsing, which I don't even know if I'm doing right. I don't know it kind of feels like being lost, not noticing too much change on a daily/weekly or even monthly basis and going through as if I were under constant siege by bad habits, responsibilities and work without a guaranty of a clear path/improvement 

I don't know, in summary I would say that it is a response to sometimes feeling like I'm treading water, like I sometimes don't respect/believe in myself (keeping promises/habits/daily goals) and the inability to control on the long term the possibility of just sinking back into a bit of a rout with the internet as its catalyst to keep me inside the house/constantly listening to something until I get a head ache, back pain and snap one night going out and starting to do things semi right for some weeks

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5 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I haven't had time to read your diary but what are you getting from videos and games that life isn't providing? I'm sensing a mix of boredom and lack of accomplishment that's feeding the need to do 1 more or get entertained. Is that true at all?

Sorry for the wall of text, I tried to get it out of me and make an opinion but ended up just making an incomprehensible message, I guess that the summary would be as follows:

1-When I'm bored

2-And most importantly when I'm feeling lost and overwhelmed, which right now is a lot of the time

3-When I'm in a rout/defeatist mood

4-Feeling of lack of progress

5-Having notions of having lots of things that I want to do but having to constrain myself

I guess that's more or less it, it mostly comes from not being able to properly cope with the amount of tasks responsibilities and feeling of little progress in regards to getting them done, specially when I start comparing myself with how I think other people that don't have these extra curricular activities (competitions) are doing.

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3 hours ago, Faroe Islander said:

 

Sorry for the wall of text, I tried to get it out of me and make an opinion but ended up just making an incomprehensible message, I guess that the summary would be as follows:

1-When I'm bored

2-And most importantly when I'm feeling lost and overwhelmed, which right now is a lot of the time

3-When I'm in a rout/defeatist mood

4-Feeling of lack of progress

5-Having notions of having lots of things that I want to do but having to constrain myself

I guess that's more or less it, it mostly comes from not being able to properly cope with the amount of tasks responsibilities and feeling of little progress in regards to getting them done, specially when I start comparing myself with how I think other people that don't have these extra curricular activities (competitions) are doing.

Thanks for sharing. It's very common for all people, not just people in recovery, to feel overwhelmed with stress. Stress is that number one trigger for flight or fight response. 

Most people in recovery have to learn how to cope with boredom. It's important to try and equate it to something positive like your mind getting well deserved rest. Gaming is like taking a test in college. Very simulating and taxing. That's why a lot of people do soft brain activity here like exercise, meditation, or reading or coloring but not drawing because that can be difficult too for people. 

A lot of your list stems from feeling lost. Why are you lost? Is it career or school related? Life and love related? Diet or lifestyle related? Living situation or family related? 

If we can narrow down these feelings of confusion then we can begin to find direction by working on one thing at a time and not overwhelming yourself with solving tons of things at once. 

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9 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Thanks for sharing. It's very common for all people, not just people in recovery, to feel overwhelmed with stress. Stress is that number one trigger for flight or fight response. 

Most people in recovery have to learn how to cope with boredom. It's important to try and equate it to something positive like your mind getting well deserved rest. Gaming is like taking a test in college. Very simulating and taxing. That's why a lot of people do soft brain activity here like exercise, meditation, or reading or coloring but not drawing because that can be difficult too for people. 

A lot of your list stems from feeling lost. Why are you lost? Is it career or school related? Life and love related? Diet or lifestyle related? Living situation or family related? 

If we can narrow down these feelings of confusion then we can begin to find direction by working on one thing at a time and not overwhelming yourself with solving tons of things at once. 

Thank you for listening and offering advice.

I had never seen boredom in that way, to me it just seemed like either an indication that I'm not working or a moment to reflect on my situation and make new plans. It just seemed like if you where bored and you weren't sleeping or planning you where wasting time. I will try it today, I already did exercise but the though of just sitting and letting a little bit of time pass to rest is something I have to try.

On the topic of feeling lost it could be a matter of the early adult's transition, family is good (for now), diet is fine, sport is being done, love I've been unlucky with but I have more or less managed it and I want to wait a bit before going back in, discussing it with close friends and making my mind up about when I want to try again and what that would imply/risk... Finally the carear is somewhat ok I'm starting to have hunches about what specialty I want to go into but don't have lots of formation/opportunities for it with the subjects, I mostly have to rely on extra curricular activities (groups, competitions, conferences...) to learn/get into that world a bit. 

I still haven't figured these ones out and sometimes catch myself thinking about the end of the activities in a bad way (like I'm having fun with this team at the uni, but what will happen when they leave next year, how will I adapt and continue, they were a big reason why I was in and why the experience was enjoyable despite the hardships...)

Right now the biggest problem could those last 2 together with be not knowing how to say no, choosing and then fully committing to the decision and as a result getting overwhelmed by the possibilities and responsibilities.

The cravings can be somewhat dealt with, and my relationship with music, is a bit vague but mostly a matter of a bit of self control and overall healthier that videos. I don't know.

Today I will sit down for an hour or so to think them through a bit and try to give you a better answer.

 

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4 hours ago, Faroe Islander said:

Thank you for listening and offering advice.

I had never seen boredom in that way, to me it just seemed like either an indication that I'm not working or a moment to reflect on my situation and make new plans. It just seemed like if you where bored and you weren't sleeping or planning you where wasting time. I will try it today, I already did exercise but the though of just sitting and letting a little bit of time pass to rest is something I have to try.

On the topic of feeling lost it could be a matter of the early adult's transition, family is good (for now), diet is fine, sport is being done, love I've been unlucky with but I have more or less managed it and I want to wait a bit before going back in, discussing it with close friends and making my mind up about when I want to try again and what that would imply/risk... Finally the carear is somewhat ok I'm starting to have hunches about what specialty I want to go into but don't have lots of formation/opportunities for it with the subjects, I mostly have to rely on extra curricular activities (groups, competitions, conferences...) to learn/get into that world a bit. 

I still haven't figured these ones out and sometimes catch myself thinking about the end of the activities in a bad way (like I'm having fun with this team at the uni, but what will happen when they leave next year, how will I adapt and continue, they were a big reason why I was in and why the experience was enjoyable despite the hardships...)

Right now the biggest problem could those last 2 together with be not knowing how to say no, choosing and then fully committing to the decision and as a result getting overwhelmed by the possibilities and responsibilities.

The cravings can be somewhat dealt with, and my relationship with music, is a bit vague but mostly a matter of a bit of self control and overall healthier that videos. I don't know.

Today I will sit down for an hour or so to think them through a bit and try to give you a better answer.

 

Thanks for this. You're in a very common situation and I say that to try and help you realize you're not alone. College is a weird place where professors are trying to give you responsibility and prepare you for the real world. Then you'll realize the real world is still completely different than college and that college is all about problem solving and dealing with different people's personalities and learning how to cope. 

It's also tough because each college major has a very tight, 4 year regiment to follow in order to graduate. This adds a lot of pressure to the student to accept this program for their forever job. Realistically everyone changes jobs. I'm now 10 years out of college and most of the people I graduated with from my engineering school are no longer engineers at all. So just realize you have options and can just see this through and don't have to fully commit. 

If you want to do well in college you're not gonna have time to game. I recommend joining clubs and groups related to your major and doing homework and studying with them etc. A lot of my job opportunities outside of college stemmed from me being a member of those clubs back in college. They'll fill your time and you won't have the need to game anymore. After college is when you randomly get 8 hours a day back and filling that time sucks. 

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9 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Thanks for this. You're in a very common situation and I say that to try and help you realize you're not alone. College is a weird place where professors are trying to give you responsibility and prepare you for the real world. Then you'll realize the real world is still completely different than college and that college is all about problem solving and dealing with different people's personalities and learning how to cope. 

It's also tough because each college major has a very tight, 4 year regiment to follow in order to graduate. This adds a lot of pressure to the student to accept this program for their forever job. Realistically everyone changes jobs. I'm now 10 years out of college and most of the people I graduated with from my engineering school are no longer engineers at all. So just realize you have options and can just see this through and don't have to fully commit. 

If you want to do well in college you're not gonna have time to game. I recommend joining clubs and groups related to your major and doing homework and studying with them etc. A lot of my job opportunities outside of college stemmed from me being a member of those clubs back in college. They'll fill your time and you won't have the need to game anymore. After college is when you randomly get 8 hours a day back and filling that time sucks. 

Thank you a lot for the advice, I'll try to manage through college at least the best I can I'm almost finished with its hardest part (at least I hope so) Now I just have to be careful with my parents they are very pushy with uni grades in particular, they have  a strong believe in those being the most important part about college and have talked to me about focussing more on them and cutting a bit the extracurricular activities 

Right now I'll see what to do since I really don't want to cut down on them though the time that would give me would be nice and about the not working on an engineering job I still have to wrap my head around it.

I knew that my future would probably envolve some variation in jobs, companies and maybe different roles within them but working on a completely different field still seems like a bizarre notion/concept

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Today I kept away from games and videos by reading a really good introspective novel with lessons about the value of time, life and the how we can ruin it not by big events but by little actions. It was beautiful read and the story specially its ending left me thinking about how I spent time, current and past opportunities how I behaved myself and how much for granted we often times take things.

It required 2-4h reading and 4-6 to just digest the message, I liked it a lot, now I have to learn how to control myself a bit with it since it did also conflict with some of my study needs and I should avoid that by being more responsible with my time.

Still it was a nice change of pace, at least I didn't spend all that time on the internet but it still sucks having invested so much time today on it when I had to study

 

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9 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Thanks for this. You're in a very common situation and I say that to try and help you realize you're not alone. College is a weird place where professors are trying to give you responsibility and prepare you for the real world. Then you'll realize the real world is still completely different than college and that college is all about problem solving and dealing with different people's personalities and learning how to cope. 

It's also tough because each college major has a very tight, 4 year regiment to follow in order to graduate. This adds a lot of pressure to the student to accept this program for their forever job. Realistically everyone changes jobs. I'm now 10 years out of college and most of the people I graduated with from my engineering school are no longer engineers at all. So just realize you have options and can just see this through and don't have to fully commit. 

If you want to do well in college you're not gonna have time to game. I recommend joining clubs and groups related to your major and doing homework and studying with them etc. A lot of my job opportunities outside of college stemmed from me being a member of those clubs back in college. They'll fill your time and you won't have the need to game anymore. After college is when you randomly get 8 hours a day back and filling that time sucks. 

and sorry for not being able to give too much more on the topic of why specifically I feel lost, I used a lot of the time today reading and reflecting on the lessons taught by the novel "3 days of happiness", about what gives a person value and what do you even define as valuable for yourself (which is something they don't even answer).

I just came to the realization that remembering that question exists in the first time and that the answer might be different for different people in different contexts could be about as far as I can get for now in this limited time I invested into thinking about it. Unfortunately I can't even give you a compelling reason as to why I feel lost since when I dove into the question I realized that there are lots more things that I hadn't completely answered like what I value most in someone, I guess it is a much more complex field that I once had imagined and now I need to find the time to dive deeper into it

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End of the day

Feeling really tired, it was a good day, I struggled with the problems I had been creating for myself by overstretching my capabilities and time as well as by consuming content mindlessly on the last weekend but it could be more or less be done.

Right now I just feel mentally worn out and have some cravings to watch mindless content, I guess it's fine, today I'm going to try going outside and just giving myself some time to be not think or worry, I haven't done it in a very long time but it is worth trying, better that walking around the house like a trapped lion or sleeping for too long

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On 5/10/2023 at 9:40 AM, Faroe Islander said:

I still haven't figured these ones out and sometimes catch myself thinking about the end of the activities in a bad way (like I'm having fun with this team at the uni, but what will happen when they leave next year, how will I adapt and continue, they were a big reason why I was in and why the experience was enjoyable despite the hardships...)

I'm currently going through the uni myself and I can say the reasons why I was/am there changed over time. Back in 2016-2018, I just viewed it as something I should do and I think that's also why I dropped out of one. A big factor was that basically all of my immediate family has a university title, though a bit of that still remains there until today. After I quit games in 2019, it was a good way to fill time and I learnt some time-management skills in general. I finished bachelor in 2021.

Before starting my master, I knew it was a calculated risk, as I knew I could have a well-paid full time job if I wanted to back in 2021. But it still made economical and social sense for me to go to master. I've managed my study responsibilities fairly easily in the past two years and all I need to do now is to write the thesis and do final exams in January.

Therefore, I believe it's natural that one thing leads to another and that reasons and motivations change over time. I'm sure you'll adapt and continue without many problems even after some of your teammates leave.

On 5/10/2023 at 2:02 PM, BooksandTrees said:

It's also tough because each college major has a very tight, 4 year regiment to follow in order to graduate. This adds a lot of pressure to the student to accept this program for their forever job. Realistically everyone changes jobs. I'm now 10 years out of college and most of the people I graduated with from my engineering school are no longer engineers at all. So just realize you have options and can just see this through and don't have to fully commit. 

If you want to do well in college you're not gonna have time to game. I recommend joining clubs and groups related to your major and doing homework and studying with them etc. A lot of my job opportunities outside of college stemmed from me being a member of those clubs back in college. They'll fill your time and you won't have the need to game anymore. After college is when you randomly get 8 hours a day back and filling that time sucks. 

I think the mindset of "forever" job is there because kids, teenagers and young adults don't really have much agency to make their own choices, because their parents or school didn't teach them that. It's always "You have to go to elementary school." "You have to go to high school." etc. and it's hard to break the cycle. 100% on not committing too early and exploring different options. It takes time and some trial-and-error to make quality decisions.

On 5/10/2023 at 11:27 PM, Faroe Islander said:

Thank you a lot for the advice, I'll try to manage through college at least the best I can I'm almost finished with its hardest part (at least I hope so) Now I just have to be careful with my parents they are very pushy with uni grades in particular, they have  a strong believe in those being the most important part about college and have talked to me about focussing more on them and cutting a bit the extracurricular activities 

Right now I'll see what to do since I really don't want to cut down on them though the time that would give me would be nice and about the not working on an engineering job I still have to wrap my head around it.

I knew that my future would probably envolve some variation in jobs, companies and maybe different roles within them but working on a completely different field still seems like a bizarre notion/concept

Having good grades at the university is akin to kissing a girlfriend in a relationship. Is it important? Yes. Is it all there is to it? No.

Extracurriculars give you nice hobbies, contacts, options for friendships, jobs and other things that can be useful later in life. Very few people actually care about excellent grades themselves after uni, as long as you have the title. Grades are really mostly a substitute for specific successes with specific rewards in real life.

I hope the post was useful to you in some way 🙂

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On 5/12/2023 at 1:24 PM, Ikar said:

I hope the post was useful to you in some way 🙂

It was. thank you for taking the time to write it out

 

On 5/12/2023 at 1:24 PM, Ikar said:

I think the mindset of "forever" job is there because kids, teenagers and young adults don't really have much agency to make their own choices, because their parents or school didn't teach them that. It's always "You have to go to elementary school." "You have to go to high school." etc. and it's hard to break the cycle. 100% on not committing too early and exploring different options. It takes time and some trial-and-error to make quality decisions.

That is a more or less true, right now I was always told that I needed to go to uni, they didn't let me choose vocational training, it more or less ended well since with the extracurricular activities and by starting to understand university more as a chance to learn, understand the world, grow as a person and have more opportunities instead as an obligation to study it helped a lot.

Right now what I'm struggling most with is that they push me towards focussing more on better grades (which is understandable) but this also comes at the cost of also shifting priorities away from things like extracurricular activities where I can apply things learned in the uni. I can't really fight back to much since they have experience in the field and also in educational things + they have the money.

Right now I'm looking forward to the undergraduate's thesis to get a chance to try something new though I don't know how I would go about trying other fields since when I study my degree I find it enjoyable but also lack concepts or things that can be found in other degrees and I don't know what to do about that.

I wish I could also learn about those and not just be forced to focus completely on my degree but I also know that to some point specialization in todays days and age is required to really get economic opportunities, specially in my country. For now I'll just focus on my degree, do you have any ideas on what could be done about this?

And congratulations on getting your degree and finishing the subjects in your master, it can at times be quite challenging and it deserves recognition

 

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Today I went to the psychologist and went over more or less everything on a general way studies, time dedicated to different activities, conflict with extracurricular activities vs degree and what my parents say I should focus on, and relationships. I wish I had prepared myself a bit more before the interview.

He says that he agrees that I should find a balance between the extracurricular activities and the higher degree and that I should be careful to not overextend myself on the work part of my life, that is I guess good advice since I don't spend much time on it but I always feel like I need more time for studies, maybe it is that I'm not making the best out of the time that I spend on work.

On the topic of romance he reminded me to ask myself whether I'm not taking more steps because of just not being interested and being fine by myself or out of fear which is a good point, I have to think about it a bit since I don't know if I'm just making mostly excuses or if I really can't afford/don't genuinely want to try to start a relationship right now

That's about it I should also focus on deciding where I stand in regards to music, it helps me start my work and it is better that straight out videos since it distracts me less and therefore lets me at least work a bit, but at the same time it also limits me in terms of concentration and sometimes continuity on study sessions

I will go for a walk and talk it with a friend, who knows maybe little by little I may start to see it more clearly

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11 hours ago, Faroe Islander said:

It was. thank you for taking the time to write it out

That is a more or less true, right now I was always told that I needed to go to uni, they didn't let me choose vocational training, it more or less ended well since with the extracurricular activities and by starting to understand university more as a chance to learn, understand the world, grow as a person and have more opportunities instead as an obligation to study it helped a lot.

Right now what I'm struggling most with is that they push me towards focussing more on better grades (which is understandable) but this also comes at the cost of also shifting priorities away from things like extracurricular activities where I can apply things learned in the uni. I can't really fight back to much since they have experience in the field and also in educational things + they have the money.

Right now I'm looking forward to the undergraduate's thesis to get a chance to try something new though I don't know how I would go about trying other fields since when I study my degree I find it enjoyable but also lack concepts or things that can be found in other degrees and I don't know what to do about that.

I wish I could also learn about those and not just be forced to focus completely on my degree but I also know that to some point specialization in todays days and age is required to really get economic opportunities, specially in my country. For now I'll just focus on my degree, do you have any ideas on what could be done about this?

And congratulations on getting your degree and finishing the subjects in your master, it can at times be quite challenging and it deserves recognition

As a side note to my previous point, my bachelor studies were special in the way that our class only met once a week. All of the people were basically 30+ who overall had better motivation to study than 19+ students. They already had jobs, kids and better time management. Even though we met once a week, we got together a few times outside of class and stayed in touch. That experience only underlines the fact that uni is not solely about grades.

I understand your parents' perspective. You'll be "their kid" as long as you are around them daily and/or they provide you with a substantial amount of funds. And as long as you're "their kid", they will never fully respect your decisions and they will think they know better than you. I believe one of the best things I've ever done was to move out of my parents' house.

I'd say that if you find something interesting and enjoyable, you can go for it in your free time. I'm extending my uni studies by half a year too, so my idea is that you could perhaps do the same to alleviate some of the stress, granted you trust yourself that you are able to finish the degree at a later date?

Thanks for the praise! 🙂

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7 hours ago, Ikar said:

As a side note to my previous point, my bachelor studies were special in the way that our class only met once a week. All of the people were basically 30+ who overall had better motivation to study than 19+ students. They already had jobs, kids and better time management. Even though we met once a week, we got together a few times outside of class and stayed in touch. That experience only underlines the fact that uni is not solely about grades.

That could have been a big help with your type of education, right now I sometimes find myself struggling with time management, specially with dedicating lots of time to study/extracurricular work but not being very efficient with it, though that it also aggravated by internet and commitment problems which I still have to work on. 

 

7 hours ago, Ikar said:

I understand your parents' perspective. You'll be "their kid" as long as you are around them daily and/or they provide you with a substantial amount of funds. And as long as you're "their kid", they will never fully respect your decisions and they will think they know better than you. I believe one of the best things I've ever done was to move out of my parents' house.

Yes and I'm very thankful to them for giving me more and more independence as the years have gone by, right now I'm not living at home but still financially depend on them, they have given me some freedom to choose what to do with my time. The conversations we have are not threats but rather reminders which is great, my only worry is that they have always been very keen on me focussing on the normal good grades -> Fixed good job at a private/public company while this year I have taken another route.

 

7 hours ago, Ikar said:

I'd say that if you find something interesting and enjoyable, you can go for it in your free time. I'm extending my uni studies by half a year too, so my idea is that you could perhaps do the same to alleviate some of the stress, granted you trust yourself that you are able to finish the degree at a later date?

Right now I'm riding on trust from previous years (passing everything with good marks) and I fear what may happen if that trust breaks, since they know people directly or indirectly at the uni who could keep an eye on me + handle most of my expenses. I'll try to look into it since they have promised to be open about possible different masters or even other degrees/vocational training programs once I finish my degree, it could be interesting, specially with the general university subsidies in EU countries though I would probably have to look at making it compatible with work.

Thanks for the advice, now I'm going to try to recover from this mornings slump, where I more or less relapsed and ended up just scrolling through internet posts/images for a long time (most of the morning and midday).

@Ikar and @BooksandTrees, since you are probably far more experienced that me in the topic of handling time and distractions could I ask you for some advice on what to do when cravings, mental blocks come up but you still have to keep working since your schedule is tight? And also on how you arrange your time afterwards to stop the cravings and blocks to gain strength.

Thanks in advance 

 

 

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5 hours ago, Faroe Islander said:

my only worry is that they have always been very keen on me focussing on the normal good grades -> Fixed good job at a private/public company while this year I have taken another route.

Right now I'm riding on trust from previous years (passing everything with good marks) and I fear what may happen if that trust breaks, since they know people directly or indirectly at the uni who could keep an eye on me + handle most of my expenses. I'll try to look into it since they have promised to be open about possible different masters or even other degrees/vocational training programs once I finish my degree, it could be interesting, specially with the general university subsidies in EU countries though I would probably have to look at making it compatible with work.

I think it's good that you decided to try something else. Myself, I can't really imagine being a normal employee at this point. But maybe I will be one again 🙂

For sure, the EU system of universities is very interconnected and if you decide to pursue a second master's or PhD, all the power to you! 🙂

5 hours ago, Faroe Islander said:

@Ikar and @BooksandTrees, since you are probably far more experienced that me in the topic of handling time and distractions could I ask you for some advice on what to do when cravings, mental blocks come up but you still have to keep working since your schedule is tight? And also on how you arrange your time afterwards to stop the cravings and blocks to gain strength.

I think for me the idea of playing games comes to my mind about less than once a month, but it's always at the time when I'm in the middle of doing something else, so I don't even have time to think about it.

I only postpone things if I start to believe they are overwhelming, as @BooksandTrees pointed out via the video above. Only two things I am maybe not completely happy with my progress, and feel somewhat overwhelmed, are my grandma's kitchen and writing a claim to airlines about compensation for a canceled flight. Neither of those are crucial though.

 If my schedule is really tight, I don't have time to think about replacement activities in the first place! 😄

I get bored sometimes, but it's normally for an hour or two at maximum. My replacement activity at this point isn't gaming, but things like catching up with mails, chats, washing the dishes, cleaning, showering, catching up with some YT channels, bookmarks... At this point, I get back on track automatically without much delay.

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21 hours ago, Faroe Islander said:

@Ikar and @BooksandTrees, since you are probably far more experienced that me in the topic of handling time and distractions could I ask you for some advice on what to do when cravings, mental blocks come up but you still have to keep working since your schedule is tight? And also on how you arrange your time afterwards to stop the cravings and blocks to gain strength

I think this is something that many recovery and focus programs revolve around. You can basically only focus from periods of 30 to 60 minutes without having a lapse. In recovery, you might sway from one end to the other because of random willpower levels. 

Cravings are best described as the acronym HALTED. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired, environment, and dehydration. 

Next time you have a craving, take a few moments, like 10 to 30 seconds and close your eyes and scan yourself like you'd scan a homework problem. If any of those emotions are prevalent then deal with them. Those emotions are causing you to crave a solution to cure them and because our brains are wired to gaming, you'll naturally crave gaming. This is how you train yourself. 

The toughest one to decipher is environment. That's 3 parts: social environment, mental environment, and physical environment. You might hate the room you're in, then people you're with, or the way you're feeling from something you're doing. Changing your environment is key to solving all of this. 

You could be bored with a group and crave a multi-player game for example. Or you could be making no progress on homework and want some fast progress from a game etc. 

Learn about yourself and you'll learn about these cravings. My current biggest craving is tired. At my old job, it was environment. 

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On 5/14/2023 at 10:59 PM, Ikar said:

I think for me the idea of playing games comes to my mind about less than once a month, but it's always at the time when I'm in the middle of doing something else, so I don't even have time to think about it.

I only postpone things if I start to believe they are overwhelming, as @BooksandTrees pointed out via the video above. Only two things I am maybe not completely happy with my progress, and feel somewhat overwhelmed, are my grandma's kitchen and writing a claim to airlines about compensation for a canceled flight. Neither of those are crucial though.

 If my schedule is really tight, I don't have time to think about replacement activities in the first place! 😄

I get bored sometimes, but it's normally for an hour or two at maximum. My replacement activity at this point isn't gaming, but things like catching up with mails, chats, washing the dishes, cleaning, showering, catching up with some YT channels, bookmarks... At this point, I get back on track automatically without much delay.

Thank you for the suggestions I also notice that when going with friends or doing extracurricular activities I feel better about myself afterwards even though I also sometimes directly or indirectly sink too much time on it either by spending time on a project in there or by just being around there and not being too productive with our time.

This is the last serious week I have left in the project it is sad since I really liked the team and what we were doing but also a bit of a relief since now I'll have the time to focus on the degree but I'm really scared about what I would need to do to catch up since it sometimes feels like a mountain and I'm also afraid to slowly loose connection with the friends I made in the group, but I guess I'll just have to focus up and see what happens

Edited by Faroe Islander
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On 5/15/2023 at 2:45 PM, BooksandTrees said:

I think this is something that many recovery and focus programs revolve around. You can basically only focus from periods of 30 to 60 minutes without having a lapse. In recovery, you might sway from one end to the other because of random willpower levels. 

Cravings are best described as the acronym HALTED. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired, environment, and dehydration. 

Next time you have a craving, take a few moments, like 10 to 30 seconds and close your eyes and scan yourself like you'd scan a homework problem. If any of those emotions are prevalent then deal with them. Those emotions are causing you to crave a solution to cure them and because our brains are wired to gaming, you'll naturally crave gaming. This is how you train yourself. 

The toughest one to decipher is environment. That's 3 parts: social environment, mental environment, and physical environment. You might hate the room you're in, then people you're with, or the way you're feeling from something you're doing. Changing your environment is key to solving all of this. 

You could be bored with a group and crave a multi-player game for example. Or you could be making no progress on homework and want some fast progress from a game etc. 

Learn about yourself and you'll learn about these cravings. My current biggest craving is tired. At my old job, it was environment. 

I'll try this this week since I'm having a trip with the extracurricular work group whose company I enjoy, it could be a great place to try to reinforce good habits since it will be a new and conductive environment with many differences with the old one in significant ways like order, fun, social stimulus... I'll tell you how it goes and whether I can or can't translate it into my normal life once I return and have to deal with the relegated work

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2 hours ago, Faroe Islander said:

I'll try this this week since I'm having a trip with the extracurricular work group whose company I enjoy, it could be a great place to try to reinforce good habits since it will be a new and conductive environment with many differences with the old one in significant ways like order, fun, social stimulus... I'll tell you how it goes and whether I can or can't translate it into my normal life once I return and have to deal with the relegated work

Enjoy it and good luck. That sounds fun!

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2nd day of the competition, last day was all about traveling, I wanted to leave my smartphone behind and only use a dumb phone for this trip, unfortunately I had bad luck and the Whattsapp web application closed and left me kind of stranded, I still have my team to rely on but it sucks to lose your way of contact with most of your friends and family for a week just randomly, hopefully it will be resolved by Friday next week if I get the chance.

Looking at the bright side of it at least I get to focus more on the experience and get a more through disconnection from the internet so that's nice, let's see how the following days unfold, I'm kind of nervous and feeling even a bit ashamed or undeserving of my place since I always feel like I'm not doing enough for the group, but more or less can manage with by trying to rationalizing them, anyways I'll try to focus more on the now, on what I can do instead of the future and what bad outcomes could come from there, let's get on with this and enjoy the moment while it lasts.

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Checking in, today was overall quite good, lots of ups and downs on the emotional state but managed to keep working on the competition and talking with new people + enjoying the company of my team.

Hope to continue it tomorrow and I'll see what I can do to catch up with the rest of the responsabilities, for now I know for a fact that I must keep working on what the competition since it is a great experience and who knows if I may be lucky enough to experience it again. I'm very thankful to my team for accepting and dealing with me and I hope I can give back some of this through little actions and work on the project. let's see if we can get the final improvements done.

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Day ???

Checking in, tired as shit, need to get some sleep, todays it seems like I will be lucky and get 6h, tomorrow is the last day of the competition and I get to finally celebrate with team mates, recognizement of achivements even little ones is very important that's one thing I've learned

Anyways I'm just going to go to sleep, don't want to think about what I'll have to do to catch back up with classes.

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Reporting in for the past 2 days, they went well. Right now I'm trying to not get back into using the phone as that would negate a lot of the work I've done this past days.

Let's see how it goes for now just managing to work this afternoon-evening will be enough.

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